When a guy like Jeff Sherman

.... says that your blog is getting stale and repetitive, you have no choice but to listen. On Saturday, Matt relayed to me that Jeff was not impressed with my recent filings and was tiring of what he felt was the same old stuff. (Translation: Stop making jokes about me and the black chick, John.) Fair enough. I'm not exactly thrilled that Jeff is trying to step in and "Assistant Manage" my blog but I do think he's right: It's the same old stuff, week after week and we're all getting a little sick of it. (Of course, I should mention that I once caught Jeff reading a printout of my blog at work but whatever....) With this in mind, I have decided to go ahead with a blog I've been considering doing for some time now. Today I will be taking the time to answer the Frequently Asked Questions I receive from my readers.

(But fear not: I'll throw in a few Jorgen purse jokes, too.)

Let's do this:


Question: Why?

Answer: The first thing people always ask when I tell them I have a blog is "Why?" And it's usually in a condescending, Bhushan-like tone. I have to admit that it's a very reasonable question. I started the blog to mock Hoffman for having a blog. Then I was pleased with the reception I got, particularly from guys like Chris and Ed, so I kept doing it. I feel like Matt really hit it on the head when he said that it seems like I'm doing it to entertain myself. That is very true. (I think it's going to be especially funny to go back and read these things a few years from now.) Although, it was another reader, one who knows me a little better, who called me out by saying that I am doing it just so I can hear from people that I am a good writer, in a pathetic attempt to get some sort of validation from my friends and co-workers. I will not give you the satisfaction of putting your name in the blog because none of my Vegas readers know who you are. However, I will say this: You're an asshole, Anonymous Reader.

Q: How long does it normally take you to blog?

A: I get this one all the time. It usually takes me between 60-90 minutes. Sometimes, I can even force them out in about 45 minutes. Although, there have been intricate blogs with pictures that have taken me upwards of 2 hours. Sometimes it will take me 15-20 minutes to find the perfect picture of a queer looking guy with a purse or a disheveled black girl. I feel like I owe it to you guys to always go that extra mile.

Q: How come you hardly ever write about sports or gambling?

A: Very good question and the answer is simple: People don't want to read about these topics from me when they can read about them from far, far superior writers at any number of different websites. People would rather read jokes about their co-workers and I try to do it for them to best of my ability. Do I think it's unreasonable when people complain about the content of my blog when it's free and they don't have to take the time to read it? Yes, I do think it's unreasonable. Moving on....

Q: Wait - so, that guy Jeff is your boss?

A: Here's a question I frequently get from people back home. Yes, Jeff is my boss and yes, I do like the guy. I originally took the time to mock him in this space because of his initial refusal to acknowledge my blog. However, even after Jeff admitted to enjoying my inane banter, I decided to keep writing blurgbs about him. I just think my Jeff material is really, really funny. It's nothing more complicated than that. The Jeff stuff plays. It always plays. Plus, I know that I have his attention when I blog and I can take the opportunity to request that he plug my site on his - GolfOdds.com.

Q: Why are you so infatuated with Jorgen? Is he really THAT interesting?

A: No, Jorgen is absolutely not that interesting. But the fact of the matter is people love to read about him. They love reading about how much he hates the kids at the Superbook. They love reading about his relationship with Amanda. They love reading about the fact that it's a mortal lock that he and Amanda will end up living on a farm in Iowa in 20 years. They love reading potential uber Swedish names for his unborn children. And they love reading about him carrying a purse everywhere he goes. It's all gold. My readers just eat it up. So I keep putting the dish out. It's no more complicated than that.

Q: I think you have an unhealthy obsession with HBO's The Wire.

A: That's not a question, guy.



I don't have to explain myself to you.



Leave me alone.



Q: Did your Mom really do - (Fill in the Blank)?

A: Yes, she really did. I take this question as a compliment. If people think I am actually capable of making that stuff up, they must think I am a phenomenally creative writer. I think A. Ross put it best when he said that if I could make up those stories, I'd be living in Hollywood right now. Very true. My Mom really does this stuff. She really says this stuff. And I'm not even remotely surprised when I hear these stories. I just laugh and say "Okay, what else did she do?"

Q: Is your Mom crazy?

A: Of course, she is. She's a woman. Stupid question.

Q: Why do your parents let your brother live like that?

A: This is one question even I can't fully answer. The only explanation I can come up with is that my Mom still thinks he's cute. Even though he's 18 years old and almost 6'2''. That has to be it because I don't even think my Dad likes him. In fact, I don't think my Dad likes anyone but the dog.

Q: So, did they really give him a check for "Monthly Expenses?"

A: Yes, according to my sister he gets one every month. But I can't elaborate much more on that question. I'm trying to get this blog done before I have to go to work....

Q: Why do you even bother to make picks? They're always garbage.

A: Who asked you, Ed?

Q: What do you have against Chase Utley?

A: Nothing. I actually think he's a really good player. But Ed is constantly badmouthing my boy Ryan Howard and it's hard to get a word in edge-wise around that guy, so I choose to fight back in the blogosphere by making fun of TGCU.

Q: What is a Murray Murray?

A: Murray Murray is a potential name for my first born son. Ed came up with it. I have to admit: It does have a nice ring to it. (It's on the short list along with Ryan Howard Murray and Randy Marsh Murray.) Murray Murray is also a very well respected Las Vegas sports gambler who has a somewhat unusual gambling appetite. He's been living and gambling in Vegas for nearly a quarter century.

Q: Speaking of Murray Murray, did you really send that E-mail to the Plaza?

A: Yes, I really did. And they never wrote me back. And as far as I know they still don't offer any betting on cricket. What a bunch of blowhards.

Q: What do you really think of that Chad guy?

A: Chad? Chad Jackson? Are you kidding? He's an idiot.

(Blogger's Note: No one has ever really asked me that. I just wanted to get it off my chest.)


I'm really not qualified to make any picks. Hoffman does that well enough for the both of us.


Trivia Question For Sunday: Who is the most recent winner of the Maurice Podoloff Trophy?


On Monday morning, I am going to Del Mar with half the people who work at the Superbook. I won't be blogging from Monday - Thursday but I will try to have one up on Friday, spilling illicit details from the trip. There is quite a cast of characters heading to A Whale's Vagina this week and I will hopefully be able to answer some if not all of the following questions:

* Are CB and Jorgen really the same person? And which is one more likely to emerge as the new Jeff?

* How do CB and CC feel about being called by initials instead of by their first names? Do CB and CC both secretly wish that the other no longer worked there so that they could be the only "Chris" at the Superbook?

* Does Jorgen's purse need its own seat in the car?

* What does Jorgen do with his purse when he has to use the jon? (If he asks me to hold it for him, I'm going to throw it in the ocean.)

* Does Metcalf make borderline racist comments simply because he's from the South? Or is he really just a jerk?

* Will Hoffman be just completely unbearable when he is hungover AND away from home? (I'm pretty sure I can already answer that one.)

* Does Austin really fight like a prepubescent chicken girl?


And so forth....


For those of you consider both Austin and I to be your friends - Be sure to say bye to us before we leave because I can tell you this much: One of us won't be coming back. It's on. And this has nothing to do with the shouting match we got into on Saturday, which I'm sure Ed would have found wildly entertaining. It also has nothing to do with Austin's recent comment that he would win a fight against any Superbook employee. (Quick: Try to picture Austin and Ron Reid fighting without laughing. It literally cannot be done.) The battle between Austin and I is something that has been brewing for months and I am expecting it to finally come to a head in San Diego in a little something I am calling The War On The Shore. Get your popcorn ready.

If you want me to have fun in Del Mar, root for Kasey Kahne to win the Cup race today. Otherwise, I'm going to have to grab my spare coins and play $2 show bets on chalk all afternoon.

New pictures and a new poll today. Have at it. Apparently no one cares who wins the NL East, besides Ed and I. Someone wake me up when football season starts.

Sunday features a Cup race at the Brickyard, a new episode of HBO's Generation Kill, a full card of MLB, the last day of girls basketball before the Olympics, and, as usual, a new blog. Enjoy it and....



Enjoy the game.