Is It Just Me Or

.... does anyone else think it is unreasonable that certain people expect me to work on my normal days off and entertain the masses with witty blogs? That leaves me very little time to watch DVRed episodes of My Name Is Earl or call Amanda and hang up when Jorgen answers. It's going to be tough but I'll try my best.

I actually have a few things to say today. Let's do this:

* It's pretty well established that I like writing about Jeff. I also like hanging out with Jeff. I even like working for/with Jeff. He's a good guy. But I'll tell you what I don't like: Getting him lunch. Every day it's something with this guy. On Wednesday, he tells me to get him a Caesar salad and a Coke. Seems simple enough. But when I come back with his order he gets on my case because there's no chicken in it. So I tell him "Dude, you didn't say 'Chicken.' You just said Caesar salad," and he gets all defensive and makes some errant threat about writing me up. He also gets on my case for forgetting to bring him a fork. (Okay, maybe that time he had a point.) Meanwhile, one of our runners (Wait - What do we call those guys again, Ed? Wise Guys? Yeah, okay....He's a "Wise Guy") is standing at the counter mocking me with such names as "Kiss Ass" and "Bitch Boy" in front of everyone. That's Sandwich Boy to you, bro.

* I find it annoying at times (Mostly the times when Jeff is complaining) but overall I don't mind getting Jeff and Ed lunch. Seems like a typical duty for a young employee such as myself. Especially one with the title of Sandwich Boy. However, getting Austin lunch.... now that's another story. From the moment this kid walks in the door he is relentless in his quest to make me go get him a hamburger. He also wants specific dipping sauces that I have to put into little cups for him. Who is this kid? Yesterday I go over to the deli to get Austin his daily feast and while I am waiting for them to make it, I somehow end up sitting next to three guys having arguably the dumbest conversation I have ever overheard. They were (loudly) debating, in public mind you, whether or not "Bay Area Emcees" get enough respect from Dr. Dre. Seriously. You really think I could make that up? And for the record, these guys were more Murray than Rodney, if you know what I mean. I really wish I hadn't overheard their conversation. Although, come to think of it, maybe it's possible that E-40 has never gotten enough love. But that's a topic for another day and another blog.

* I'm not done with the Austin talk today. The other night, I was hanging out with him, the legendary Hoff, and Austin's boy Joey. After we left a very, very low class gentlemen's club (I literally started to feel sick to my stomach looking at some of the broads in that place) someone came up with the bright idea of going to the Hard Rock for the Gambler's Special. For those of you not familiar with the Special, it's an off-menu item at Lucky's in the Hard Rock Hotel. Steak, shrimp, and salad for $7.77. Pretty strong and always a good time. (Okay, well.... not always. There was that one time I was there with the Hoff and a third party. But that story is way too adult for this space. This is a family blog. Someday when my son Murray Murray is taking a break from watching old clips of Chase Utley hustling down the line after another weak groundball, I want him to be able to read through this blog and see what an idiot his old man was. So there are a few things I'm taking to the grave.)

What was I saying? Oh, yeah.... So we are at the Rock and Austin's boy Joey decides he wants to try his hand at roulette. Joey makes his bet with Austin standing behind him and the dealer looks up at them and asks AUSTIN for ID. Not Joey, the guy who is making a bet but Austin, the kid who is just standing there. I think Hoffman might have been too distracted by the ladies of the night to fully appreciate how funny that was, but I assure you that this blogger got a kick out of it. I just love seeing Austin taken down a notch.

* Allow me to set the stage for you: It's the bottom of the 8th on Wednesday night in Philadelphia. Most of the drunken moron Phillies fans have tired hours ago, as they tend to do. The score is tied at 2 when the mighty Ryan Howard strides to the plate. Howard has already knocked in a run with 2 outs in the 5th but Philadelphia is a What Have You Done For Me Lately town. Sure, Howard came into Wednesday's game on a 10-game hitting streak, having hit 5 HRs during that stretch, but that isn't enough for Philadelphia's great fans. They want more. And if he didn't give them more they would be whining. Facing an 0-2 count, Ryan crushes a pitch into the seats, giving Philadelphia a lead they would not relinquish. Howard is now tied for the Major League lead with 25 HRs and leads the NL in RBI with 80. The haters can have TGCU. The blog still loves Ryan Howard.

* Speaking of Phillies fans, they reached a new low in my eyes the other day. (And that's really saying something. I've been going to Eagles-Redskins games since I was a kid and I've seen a lot of stupid things from these people.) I'm in the back room with Ed and he's listening to the radio. Basically it's nothing but Phillies fans calling in to whine and bitch about their first place ball club. (I should mention that Ed is resisting the urge to literally stand and applaud in agreement.) So we come to the token wannabe GM caller who suggests the Phillies switch Brad Lidge, their All-Star closer, with Brett Myers, their worthless wife-beater, by putting Lidge in the rotation and moving Myers to the bullpen. Lidge is 20 for 20 in save situations this season with a 0.95 ERA and has started one game in his entire Major League career, back in 2002 with the Astros. So this guy wants to take him out of the bullpen and stick him in the rotation? Great idea! The Redskins defensive line has struggled the last couple seasons but they have had a consistently good running game. Maybe they should move Clinton Portis to defensive tackle? That will fix the problem. Ladies and gentlemen - Philadelphia sports fans!

* While I'm here, let's throw out some predictions:

- Ryan Howard will lead the Major Leagues in HRs

- The Tampa Bay Rays will not make the playoffs

- Neither will the Milwaukee Brewers

- The Mets will win the National League

- Sean Gallagher will win more games during his tenure in Oakland than Rich Harden will win for the Cubs

- The Red Sox will win the World Series again

- Everyone will be bored and annoyed by it

- I will talk about how sick I am of baseball another dozen times before the season ends

- Then I will blog about it and make terrible predictions for no reason

- Ed will make a bet on the 76ers to win the NBA Title at 25-1

- He will never admit it to anyone

- Ed will not laugh at this

(Whoops. How'd those last few get in there? Sorry, bro.)


I'll make some picks for Thursday. Hoffman's refusing to release multi-unit plays so someone has to give you guys fades.

I'll step up to the plate:

L.A. Galaxy

Cardinals

The Good Guys


I'm actually going to bet that Galaxy play. Crazy.


I don't know what's more surprising about my latest poll: The fact that 16 people have voted or the fact that none of them voted for O.J. Mayo getting paid by USC. I didn't even think I knew 16 people, let alone had that many readers. But I still think the lack of Mayo votes is more surprising. Haven't you people seen Blue Chips? This stuff has been going on for years. Would Ricky Roe have gone to Western University if Coach Pete Bennett hadn't given him 30 dimes and a new tractor for his father? Doubtful.

I apologize for that Eli Manning pic. There were requests made and things just got taken too far. I've cleaned up the picture section.


Trivia Question For Thursday - Which team won the first MLS Cup? Bonus point if you tell me who they beat.

** Tuesday's Answer - The "C.C" in C.C. Sabathia stands for Carsten Charles. I'm still going to call him C.C. instead of CC. It just feels right. I'm really surprised that the C.C. didn't stand for Chocolate Chip. Looks like I owe C.B. a coke.


Austin - I hope you were able to make it all the way to the end. And I hope you enjoyed it.

As for the rest of you, I hope you....




Enjoy the game.