I know I haven't blogged

.... in a while but I have a really good reason - I didn't feel like it. Besides, on Sunday I finally did a blog that I actually thought was good and I wanted to leave it at the top for as long as possible. I appreciate the feedback I got regarding the cartoon blog. Well except for Ed's "Feedback." His only comment was to call it "Garbage" before proceeding to pretend like he had never heard of any of the shows, with the exception of The Simpsons. Sure you haven't, bro. Thanks for the input.

Sunday's blog was most definitely one for me, so I guess that means I have to come back with one for the kids. That's right: Today I'll talk about Jorgen, Jeff, The Hoff, and even my Mom. But before I get into any of that nonsene, let's briefly talk about sports:


* The Mets took 2 out of 3 from The Fightins' this week and would have opened up a 3 game lead over Philadelphia if not for a 9th inning collapse on Tuesday night. Very impressive performance by TGCU during the series: 0-12, 4 K's. Well, it's not like it was a crucial series or anything. It doesn't look like we need to worry about 3 different Phillies winning back-to-back-to-back NL MVPs anymore. (Unless Jayson Werth really turns it on in August.) The Mets are now 9-4 against the Phillies this season. The teams play twice more, once in Philadelphia next month and again at Shea in September. Should be an interesting race.

I just have to remember to delete the Mets series from the Chase Utley highlights DVD I'm preparing for young Murray Murray. Actually, I should probably just delete every game TGCU has played in since May to be safe. They don't call him "That Garbage Chase Utley" for nothing.

* Switching away from sports for a moment, did you guys see the BRAWL in the WNBA "Game" between the Sparks and Shock the other night? Pretty intense. While the rest of us were stunned to witness the first brawl in WNBA history, I can tell you exactly how Jeff reacted: "Sweet! Catfight!"

* Speaking of Jeff, he seemed genuinely upset over the joke I had the other day about Brett Favre's appearance on Greta Van Susteren getting higher ratings than his. I should have mentioned that Jeff's appearance was such a hit that he was asked to come back on the program a second time just over a month later. Don't believe me? It says so right on his website, subtlely tucked away on the front page.

* Okay, you guys probably want some Jorgen talk, too. Well, you're all in luck because I had lunch with the kid himself just two days ago. Items of note from that meal: Apparently Amanda told him that he "Can go to San Diego" provided that he doesn't "Bang any girls" while he's there. Seems fair. When I pointed out that our room in San Diego only has 3 beds and that there were going to be 4 of us staying there, he pointed to himself, then pointed to me, then back to himself, then back to me, and then back to himself. I hope Jorgen will be comfortable sleeping in the bathtub.

* Jorgen also revealed to me the name of his future son: Hjalmar, pronounced Jal-mer. I love it: Jal-mer Yohnson, The All-American kid. Shouldn't be too hard talking Amanda into that name. By the way, I don't like the fact that I feel I have to recant every aspect of a meal with Jorgen just to entertain my readers. Pretty soon nobody's going to want to talk to me at all because they'll be afraid I have a running tape recorder in my pocket.

* People keep trying to get me to watch new TV shows and I've been indulging them recently by giving them a shot. Austin has turned me on to the Charlie Sheen vehicle Two and a Half Men. Ed has me watching Ice Road Truckers. (I've been enjoying them both for the record.) And now Scotty wants me to start watching Friday Night Lights. It really doesn't seem like my kindof show but I trust the Hoff, so I'll check it out. But in return, you guys all have to check out a show I am recommending: It's called Generation Kill and it's airing Sunday nights on HBO. It's a mini-series about the war and it was created by the guys who created The Wire, so you know it's good. I also recommend the show Weeds to those of you with Showtime. Their new season has been great.

* I played hoops at the UNLV rec center yesterday with A. Ross and CC. It was fun to be out there playing ball but it was a wake up call to the fact that I am getting old. Hard to believe that just 2-3 years ago, I would actually hustle after the ball and run up and down the court. And the next morning I wouldn't wake up with a pain in my lower back.

On Wednesday night, I was hanging out with the Hoff (Okay stop scrolling down now, guy. Here's the part about you.) and I told him I didn't think I was up for a real late night because I was a little worn out from playing hoops. He proceeded to call me a "Vagina." This from a guy who refused to play basketball with us at all and has already stated that he won't participate in any football games this fall because he feels he is too "Old." So to recap: Hoffman's too old to play pick-up basketball games with a bunch of guys in their mid-20s but he still felt comfortable gawking at high school girls while he, Ross, and I were walking along the strip last night. The guy is an animal.

* People like to laugh at stories about my Mom for some reason. That poor woman. The other day my brother and sister were home and my Mom called to say that she wanted the two of them to cook up the remaining hamburger meat before it spoiled and have it for lunch. The two geniuses instead decided to throw the hamburger meat away and go out for sushi. (Apparently my brother is a young Jeff. Last time I was home, he would order sushi for me and then watch as I ate it to gauge my reaction. That wasn't annoying or anything.)

Anyways, the hamburger meat in the trash can apparently attracted a raccoon who was discovered in there by my terrified mother. Instead of doing something about it, she came running into the house to tell my Dad. Annoyed, my Dad put on a pair of shoes and walked outside to survey the situation. As my mother and two dogs watched nervously from the front yard, my Dad peeked into the trash can and told my mother he was going to put the can out for the garbage men to take care of. My Mom rushed out towards him, pleading with him to reconsider. According to my sister, my Mom was on the verge of tears as she begged my Dad to come up with another plan. She was sure that the garbage men wouldn't even notice the raccoon inside the trash can and would just dump into the garbage truck, killing it. (It's a freaking raccoon for crying out loud. Who cares?) Just wanting the whole ordeal to be over with, my Dad relented and said that he would instead simply knock the trash can over and allow the raccoon to run free. Upon hearing this, my Mom scurried back into our fenced-in front yard, and locked the gate. She then stood there behind the gate with the dogs as my Dad knocked the trash can over and the raccoon ran away. (My sister was in the doorway the entire time laughing at my Mom.) As the raccoon disappeared from their sight, my Mom and the two confused/scared pugs walked back inside. Crisis averted.

I blame the whole thing on my brother's infatuation with sushi. Thanks a lot, Elaina.


You want picks huh? Fine. Go bet on Ohio State to win the Big 10 at Even money at Planet Hollywood. That conference is complete garbage. A pick for tonight, too? Okay, I'll try. I like the MLS All-Stars to beat West Ham United in Toronto. The MLS All-Star teams have never lost to a Premier League Club in one of these matches before, most likely due to the fact that the English clubs are in the middle of their off-seasons and not fully fit.

The Simpsons won my poll asking my readers what their favorite cartoon is. Every now and then you guys impress me.

A new poll and some new pictures are up today.

(Sorry, Jeff.)





Enjoy the game.