I dont know how they do things in Iowa

.... but in Virginia, when your boss asks you to do something - You do it. That's just how we roll in the South and I like to think I have taken that work ethic with me to Nevada. Sure, when the bosses ask me to do something I don't want to do, I childishly mumble something under my breath to voice my displeasure but I still get it done.

On Monday, Ed showed me this link - Lucky's Sports Books and directed my attention to the part where they claim to have established the biggest and most innovative wagering menu in Nevada. My assignment was to contact them with my suggestions on how they could improve their Race and Sports Book. (Maybe if enough people send in good ideas they could one day compete with the best of the best - Stations Casinos.) After I finished all my regular work, I drafted an e-mail, with an assist from Mike O., and sent it to Ed. His response?

"you should write books because I would read them. Too funny"

I took that to mean it was good and, after a few touch-ups, I sent it to the boys at Lucky's. Here's a copy of my actual submission:


Sirs,

My name is Murray Murray and I have lived and gambled in Las Vegas for nearly a quarter century.

I am normally hesitant to change my routine, but your claim to have the biggest and most innovative sports betting menu in the city has really grabbed my attention.

I have a somewhat unusual gambling appetite and would like to see any/all of the following:


Side and Total Wagering on every NCAA Football game, 1st half, and 2nd half (Even added games)

Side and Total Wagering on every NCAA Basketball game, 1st half and 2nd half (Even added games)

WNBA 1st and 2nd halves

Canadian Football 1st and 2nd halves

Arena Football 1st and 2nd halves

MLS

Mexican Soccer

English Soccer

Italian Soccer

Spanish Soccer

Superliga Soccer

International Friendly Soccer

2010 World Cup Futures

Nationwide Racing with Matchups

Truck Racing with Matchups

IRL Racing with Matchups

F1 Racing with Matchups

UFC and Mixed Martial Arts

Weekly NBA props

Weekly golf matchups for every tournament

Odds on Golfers To Win a Major

Odds to win the Golf Season Points Championship (FedEx Cup)

Tennis Channel Open wagering

Regular season College Hockey games

Regular Season College Baseball games

Women's College Softball

NHL, NBA, and MLB series price parlays

NHL Regular Season Over/Under Point Totals

NBA Playoff Props

NHL Playoff Props

And such specialty events as:

Rowing - Oxford/Cambridge Boat Race

ICC Cricket World Cup

AHL and ECHL Minor League Hockey

Aussie Rules Football

Australian Rugby League and Tri-Nations Rugby

College Lacrosse


Oh, and I should mention that it's hard for me to access the internet, so if you could make results sheets for every event, that would be just great.

By the way - How much dog racing do you guys handle? I love to play tracks like Palm Beach, Mardi Gras, Flagler, and Derby Lane.

And do you guys offer House Q's on Horse Racing? I love betting those at such major tracks as Belmont, Churchill, Calder, Arlington, Louisiana Downs, etc...

I normally do all of this at the Las Vegas Hilton but the Plaza is closer to my house, so if you guys can offer me the same kind of innovative betting menu they already do, I'd gladly become your newest customer.

Please advise.

Good luck and good gambling,



Murray Murray


The only problem I see with the e-mail is that I'm sure I left out a bunch of other things that the Hilton, and only the Hilton, accepts wagering on. The Plaza has a long, long way to go if they want to catch up. My advice to them: Hire the guy who made the Venetian's College Football Win Totals. Then hire the guy who moves the lines off limit bets. You'll be the top book in town in no time. I mean - Who wouldn't go there to bet?

Alright, let's move on. I'm sure I can force out a few of those mocking thought deals you guys like so much. Gotta do something to pass the time until the debut of Bennett's blog:


* It was really nice to see Gary stop by the book on Monday. I had not seen him in almost 5 months. And I hadn't seen him without a look on his face that screamed "I am going to kill the next customer who crosses me" in 10 months. Gary and I always had a good working relationship for one simple reason: We both despised the kids. The only difference was that he was allowed to yell at them in person and I had to wait until I got home to scream into my pillow. Seriously, the Superbook misses the guy but he's clearly much happier now than he was 5 months ago.

* When I asked Gary if he was going to renew his Fantasy Football partnership with one Austin Bhushan, he informed me that he would not be participating in the league this year and had been meaning to ask me if I wanted to take his spot. Initially, I was thrilled: A chance to compete with the likes of Jay and Ed in fantasy football could be great. (I especially look forward to snickering when Ed drafts Kevin Curtis in the 3rd round.) However, the realization that I will be partnered with Austin is slowly setting it. This is like finding out you are going to be an NFL Head Coach but your quarterback is Rex Grossman: No matter how good of a job you do, the team will have a lot to overcome.

* Watching the Home Run Derby on Monday night, I couldn't help but wonder how good Josh Hamilton could have been over the last 5 years if not for his numerous off field issues. Do you realize he's still only 27 years old? We could be looking at another 10 years of this guy, assuming he doesn't get the itch. I also couldn't help but wonder how TGCU was even invited to the event to begin with. This wasn't a competition to see who can hustle down the line the fastest. It was a Home Run Derby. I want it on the record that the acronym TGCU can be used to mean both "The Great Chase Utley" or "That Garbage Chase Utley," based on what kind of week he's having. (Or in Ed's world - Based on what kind of at-bat he's having.)

* The blog would like to thank Lance Berkman for batting left-handed in the Derby last night after saying he was going to bat right-handed. Add him to the laundry list of professional athletes I hate either for being a Cowboy or for costing me money. Welcome aboard.... Lance.

* Kudos to CC for pointing out this ridiculous fact to me last night: Greta Van Susteren's show On The Record has gone from having Jeff Sherman on as a guest just a few years ago to having Brett Favre on as a guest on Monday. Talk about a quantum leap. I wonder who drew bigger ratings?

Okay, I'm going to write a message to Jeff and Jeff alone now. You guys please just skim down to the next blurgb. I'll have something about Jorgen and a purse. I promise. Just skip ahead.



Okay, I said skip ahead.





Seriously, this is for Jeff's eyes only.





Jorgen.... Purse.... It's all just a few lines away....





I hate you guys.



(Dude, I'm sorry about that ratings crack. I just got a little mad today when you were mocking me and saying you hadn't read the blog in "Like a week" because you were "Too busy." Obviously, we both know that you were lying and that you read the blog every day but it still bothered me. You're a blog fan. You love the blog. Hell, you're Mr. Blog. I just don't understand why you can't admit it, bro. It's just.... It's just sad. Anyways, I hope we can put all that ugliness behind us and be buddies again when/if you make it back from Siberia. And please don't send that Serena look-alike out to get me. Seriously. Thank you.)

* Okay, I'll force out some Yorgen talk. I hear he got to make his first line on Sunday. That's pretty strong. It was halftime of a WNBA game and nobody even noticed (You know - because the WNBA is such a complete joke of a league) until one of the kids came up looking for a line. When the Swedish Super Sharp came into the back room demanding a number be put up, he was told to do it himself. And he did. Nice job, pal. They don't call him Kid Dynamite for nothing. Oh, and by the way, what Jorgen is carrying is not a purse. It's called a satchel. A satchel.

* It will be put up or shut up time on Wednesday night, as this blogger will be hosting a Poker Invitational. (I use the word Invitational loosely. All you really need to do to get through that door is bring a few beers with you. Or Amanda.) Typical format: Everyone buys in, I make the same joke I always make about taking a house cut even when everyone knows I am just kidding, Austin flies off the handle and threatens not to play, I tell him to relax and the cards start flying. Pretty standard stuff, really. I'll also be making a To Win Pool and head-to-head matchups which will be bettable. (Well bettable for everyone but Metcalf. I have this vision of Matt betting the limit on the same matchup 5 times in a row while I'm in the jon or something and then coming back to my house in a different outfit and trying to do it again. This isn't the Venetian, bro. I don't mess around. I'll get a few beers into Mikey Millz and send him after you.)


Sure, I'll give you a pick. I like the American League to win the All-Star game. Because the National League sucks.


Trivia Question For Tuesday - In 1993, Chris Rock starred in the movie CB4, a parody of gangster rap music. (The movie also featured Eddie Murphy's brother Charlie, a decade before he came into our homes on the landmark Chappelle's Show.) I want to see who can name all 3 members of the rap group CB4, which, as we all know, stood for Cell Block 4.


** Sunday's Answer - Serena Williams won the 1999 U.S. Open before older sister Venus won a major. Congrats to Franco Cortes for correctly answering that one. He is my go to guy for tennis information.


Voting on the All-Star poll is supposed to close around the first pitch (Assuming I did that right which is highly unlikely.) Looks like a two horse race between the members of the Fightins'. Take a wild guess who I voted for.

Don't forget poker, don't forget to say bye to Jeff (Forever?), and don't forget to....




Enjoy the game.