Before you read today's blog

.... I should warn you: It's not going to be what you are used to. If you came here to read sarcastic comments about sports, why don't you go check out Bennett's blog? If you are here hoping to read jokes about the people I work with then I feel that Ross's blog is the perfect place for you. Looking for hot-off-the-presses baseball winners? You should have never come here in the first place. The Hoff has been feeding us those all summer. Thanks, Scotty. In the mood for a wacky story? Then my boy MikeyMillz is the man to see. I'm sorry but I won't be providing any of the above in today's entry.

But I think it's only fair that you guys indulge me for once. After all, I've written tons of nonsense about Jorgen's infatuation with female handbags, Jeff's case of Jungle Fever, and my poor mother's crazy antics. I'm tired of making fun of my friends and my Mom. Today I'm going to do some actual writing. Will it be funny? No, it won't be. Am I qualified to write about the topic? No, of course not. I'm not qualified to write about anything. But I'm going to do it anyway.




This is your last chance to get out.




Okay, then. Without further ado, here it is:


MY TOP 5 CARTOONS OF ALL-TIME:


5. Beavis and Butthead

Original Airdate: March 8, 1993 to November 28, 1997; MTV

Created By: Mike Judge


I don't put this show on the same pedestal as any of my Big Four, but I wanted to do a Top 5 and I wasn't about to use shows like Futurama, American Dad, or The Critic. Beavis and Butthead was a great show back in its day. I know I was always entertained by it but I'm not sure if that had more to do with it actually being funny or with the fact that at the time it aired I was between 10-14 years old and just excited to be watching MTV while my parents were out of the house.

The show centers around the titular characters, Beavis and Butthead, two usesless students at fictional Highland High. They spend most of their time getting in and out of trouble and watching old music videos, while making sarcastic comments about them. The show served as a springboard to great future success for creator Mike Judge, who went on to write and direct the cult classic Office Space, and create another hit cartoon show, King of the Hill.

Why It Should Be Higher: It shouldn't be. It doesn't deserve to move ahead of any of the shows in my Top 4.

Why It Should Be Lower: I know we all cringed during the interminable music video scenes. Everyone hated those. The show was funny but it wasn't exactly landmark comedy.

The Verdict: I liked Beavis and Butthead but basically I'm just using it to fill out my Top 5. I wouldn't run out and buy the DVDs.


4. Family Guy

Original Airdate: January 31, 1999 - February 14, 2002; FOX

Back on the Air: May 1, 2005 - Present; FOX

Created By: Seth MacFarlane


Okay, now we can get into my Big Four of cartoon comedy starting with Family Guy. This is actually the only show on my list that I watched from the very first episode and was the first TV show I ever purchased on DVD. It was inexcusably cancelled in 2002, so FOX could make room for garbage like the Seth Green vehicle, Greg The Bunny (This was hilariously referenced during the opening credits of their first new episode back on the air) but came back in 2005 and appears to once again be going strong.

Family Guy has been frequently criticized for using cutaway jokes, which critics say do nothing to advance the story. I am not bothered by this because as far as I'm concerned, funny is funny, and Family Guy can be a very funny show. However, when they miss on these cutaway jokes, it creates an awkward moment of silence for the viewer. Family Guy has also been criticized for being in many ways, a bastardized version of another FOX comedy staple, The Simpsons. The premise of a fat, dumb, oafish man and his disfunctional family has already been done. Apparently it can be funny more than once, but it's been done. This has been referenced many times by The Simpsons themselves, particularly in one episode where an army of Homer Simpson clones includes one that looks exactly like Family Guy protagonist Peter Griffin.

Why It Should Be Higher: It may pack more laugh-out-loud moments per episode than any show on this list, which is really saying something. If you've read my blog, you know that I am not above dumbing my material down to appeal to my readers, and the Family Guy staff has clearly gone that route, except to a much, much, much wider audience. Nothing wrong with that.

Why It Should Be Lower: I can't possibly put it any lower than 4th but if I did I would argue that it deserves to be down there because of the way it is viewed by other comedy shows and comedy writers. South Park had an infamous episode called "Cartoon Wars," in which they slammed Family Guy for its cutaway jokes and borrowing ideas from other shows. According to South Park co-creator Trey Parker, his writing staff received a thank you call from writers at The Simpsons the day after this episode aired. The King of the Hill writing staff sent them flowers.

The Verdict: Nobody would argue with the statement that Family Guy is a very funny show, but if your peers unanimously don't respect your work, there must be something to it, which is why I will put it 4th on my list. For now.


3. King of the Hill

Created By: Mike Judge and Greg Daniels

Original Airdate: January 12, 1997 - Present; FOX


I would argue that of all the cartoon shows ever made, King of the Hill is easily the most intelligently written. Co-creators Mike Judge (Beavis and Butthead, Office Space) and Greg Daniels (The Office) have clearly proven themselves to be among the most talented comedy minds in the industry and it shows in this Emmy Award winning hit.

King of the Hill has nowhere near the following of the other 3 shows in my Big Four. In fact, it doesn't even air in a primetime slot. New episodes are usually shown at 7 or 7:30 on Sunday nights. In spite of that, King of the Hill has managed to stay on the air for 13 seasons and win multiple Emmy awards for its outstanding writing. The show centers on family man Hank Hill, who lives on the same street as his high school buddies in fictional Arlen, Texas. Hank is emotionally distant from everyone, including his wife, Peggy, and young son, Bobby. He is as old school as they come and frequently storylines center on Hank's inability to adapt to the modern world.


Why It Should Be Higher: The writing. During its run on FOX, King of the Hill's writing has been challenged only by South Park in terms of cartoon comedy.

Why It Should Be Lower: This show generally doesn't have as many laugh-out-loud moments as Family Guy or even Beavis and Butthead. While it is hailed by critics, it never gets the same kind of praise from the demographic that these cartoons are aimed at: Young people.

The Verdict: King of the Hill is a great show that would have a much larger following if more people would give it a chance. However, after 13 years on the air, I am afraid that everyone who is going to come on board, is already on. The rest of you will just have to miss out on this comedy classic.



2. South Park

Created By: Trey Parker and Matt Stone

Original Airdate: August 13, 1997 - Present; Comedy Central


I seriously considered ranking this show #1. South Park is the only current television show I look forward to seeing new episodes of. The show is set in the fictional town of South Park, Colorado, and follows the lives of four 4th grade boys. The audience sees the town and the world at large, from the perspective of these nine-year-old boys, who at times appear to be the only ones in South Park with any sense.

Easily the most controversial of any of the shows on my list, South Park has hilariously spoofed such celebrities as Mel Gibson, George W. Bush and John Kerry, Paris Hilton, Subway's Jared, Michael Jackson, and self-proclaimed psychic John Edward, in a classic episode titled, "The Biggest Douche In the Universe."

I am all for pushing the envelope, but there are times when South Park has gone too far in my opinion. Examples of this include the episode when the statue of the Virgin Mary is bleeding from its anus causing a stir in the town over a perceived "Miracle," or the episode in which character Mr. Garrison turns himself into Mrs. Garrison, with what doctors describe as a "Vaginoplasty." There have also been multiple episodes which I just didn't find funny at all and left me wondering whether I didn't understand it or if the writers were just so high at the time they weren't making any sense. (Both distinct possibilities.)

Why It Should Be Higher: South Park came on the air in 1997 and during that time it has been, in my opinion, the funniest show on television. Randy Marsh, the father of protagonist Stan Marsh, is my favorite cartoon character of all time.

Why It Sould Be Lower: Like a cartoon version of The Sopranos, many of the shows fans are quick to point out that South Park is not as funny as it once was. While this may be true, recent episodes like "Canada On Strike" and "Over Logging" are evidence that the writers are still going strong and have many more good days ahead.

The Verdict: With the possible exception of Chappelle's Show, there is no show in television history that has made me laugh harder than South Park. This show just kills me. And I'm not a big laugher. South Park perfectly toes the line between mainstream appeal and smart, edgy writing and the show is full of classic characters and classic episodes that I can watch over and over again. But, no matter how you look at it, there is just no way you can justify ranking it ahead of....


1. The Simpsons

Created By: Matt Groening

Original Airdate: December 17, 1989 - Present, FOX


It's hard to believe I was 6 years old at the time of this show's series premiere. The recipient of 23 Emmy Awards, a Peabody Award, and a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame, The Simpsons was named the greatest show of the 20th century by Time Magazine. It would not be an exaggeration to say that The Simpsons has produced more classic characters than any other show in television history, including protagonist Homer Simpson, who may be the most well known American television character of all time.

The influence The Simpsons had on every show on this list is one of the major reasons I felt I had to rank it #1. Family Guy and King of the Hill both center on family life in small town America, while South Park co-creator Trey Parker has praised The Simpsons for its consistent quality, while admitting that he and his staff have frequently come up with what they felt was a great idea, only to be informed that The Simpsons had already done it.

Most people (Myself included) would argue that The Simpsons is simply not as funny as it once was, but after nearly 20 years on the air, what do you expect? None of the shows on this list were ever as good as The Simpsons was when it was at its best in the early to mid 1990s. And none of these shows has the potential to run for as long as The Simpsons already has. With a stunning 420 epsiodes already under its belt, the show doesn't appear to have any end in sight.

Why It Should Be Higher: Well, it can't be any higher than #1 but I will take this opportunity to point out that The Simpsons was instrumental in getting The FOX Network off the ground as well as helping start the trend of cartoon shows airing in primetime, and without it one could argue that some, if not all, of the other shows on this list would not exist.

Why It Should Be Lower: I write this on July 20, 2008, having already said that this show peaked in the early to mid 1990s. That was a long, long time ago. I'm a huge fan of The Simpsons but I have to admit that I've probably missed somewhere around 50 episodes of this show. It's hard to get excited about a show whose prime ended while I was in grade school.

The Verdict: I honestly don't see any way you can do this list without naming The Simpsons as your #1 show. The idea of the irreverent family cartoon comedy show originated here and without it, there probably aren't enough shows to make this list. The Simpsons has to be first.


Well that's it, guys. I can't believe anyone actually made it this far without hearing any of the same jokes I've already done 500 times. I thank you. I'll come back strong in a couple days with all sorts of Jorgen and Jeff material. Maybe I'll even tell the story I touched on the other day: The one about my mother and the bee. It was pretty funny.

I appreciate you all indulging me today by letting me do some actual writing.

My readers appear to agree with me about The Simpsons, having voted it #1. However, there are a few hours left to vote, so if you disagree, be sure to make your voice heard.

Let the debate begin.




Enjoy the game.