There appears to be an event happening

.... in everyone's favorite (fixed) professional sports league - the National Basketball Association. Between Tim Donaghy's allegations, that have been read and heard by millions during the last 24 hours, and all my stupid "jokes" that have been read and heard by nearly 10 people over the last month, David Stern has a lot of explaining to do. I know I make a lot of jokes but I have to say - it's hard to believe that the NBA is fixing its games. Especially playoff games. And especially playoff games involving the Los Angeles Lakers. That's just too unbelievable. A league with the integrity of the NBA fixing its biggest games? Please. Next you're going to tell me that stud recruits like O.J. Mayo have been receiving gifts from boosters. Wait - what? Oh. Right. Let's move on....

For whatever reason, Lamar Odom and Pau Gasol sent body doubles to take their places in Game 3 of the NBA Finals last night at the Staples Center. However, thanks to tremendous games from Kobe Bryant and Sasha Vujacic, the Lakers were able to get back into the series with an 87-81 win. Seriously, how bad were Odom and Gasol? Here's a quick recap of Lamar's performance on Tuesday night: 2-9 FGs, 4 points, 5 turnovers, 5 fouls, and 37 lap dances after the game. What a player. Meanwhile, everyone's favorite doofy European chipped in with a 9 point effort, by way of 3-9 from the field and a Shaq-like 3-8 from the charity stripe. Oh, and these guys start for the team that won. (It doesn't take much when your opponent shoots 34% from the field.) What a great game this was. This is truly the Finals we've all be dreaming of.

I'm sure you guys are dying to hear all of my thoughts on Game 3. And I'm sure you want them in the form of my infamous blurgbs. Right? Well, I'm going to do it anyway....

* I'm not done talking about Pau Gasol yet. I thought he was absolutely terrible last night, which was stunning to me considering how well he has played since being "Traded" to the Lakers. (I put the word traded in quotations because I am pretty sure that deal was finalized while a team of David Stern's assassins was holding the Memphis brass at gunpoint.) The only explanation I can come up with for Gasol's performance last night was that it's because he is European. These guys have a history of choking in big spots like this. I can't actually think of any specific instances where a Euro choked on the big stage but I'm sure it's happened before. Yes, that has to be the problem....

* Taking a look at the box score, there are a few other notable things that jump out at me. Paul Pierce went 2-14? Yikes. Eddie House played 20 minutes? In the NBA Finals? 20 minutes in 1 game? Really? Kobe Bryant only had 1 assist? He touched the ball on practically half the Lakers possessions. How did he end up with that Carmelo Anthony-like shot-to-assist ratio?

* Having mentioned those, here are The Top 3 things I Was Shocked By:

3. Celtics F Leon Powe only played 6 minutes and scored just 1 point in Game 3 after scoring 21 points in a Game 2 victory that saw him get to the free throw line 13 times. Perhaps Doc Rivers might want to include him more in Thursday's game plan....

2. Ray Allen carried the Celtics, scoring 25 points on 8-13 shooting, including 5-7 from behind the arc in 41 minutes. Ummm, where on earth did that come from? Watching him in the Cleveland series, I was 100% convinced he was finished. It's truly amazing that someone with as many opinions as me is never right. But to me the most amazing thing about Game 3 was....

1. Sam Cassell played 7 minutes and squeezed off 4 shots. That translates to 0.57 shots per minute. (He only made 1 for the record.) For comparisons sake, Kobe Bryant took 0.44 shots per minute and Paul Pierce attempted 0.43 shots per minute. Who the hell is Sam Cassell to be shooting at a more frequent clip than Bryant or Pierce? I can't get over this. Seriously, trap him in between two hotel room doors. Based on what I saw in Rookie of the Year, there is no way he could get out of there until the maids came by. And yeah, I did calculate those numbers myself. I kill myself for this blog, guys....

* Lots of celebrities courtside on Tuesday night. I saw Jack Nicholson, Sly Stallone, Eddie Murphy, Tobey Maguire, Steven Spielberg, and Denzel Washington, among many, many others.... on my TV. I'm usually not interested in the segments where the camera pans the crowd showing all the celebrities while the announcers mention them by name but I will definitely be watching it closely on Thursday night. After he runs through all the A-listers sitting courtside, I expect to hear Mike Breen say "And up there - way, way up there - it's Jeff Sherman, a frequent Las Vegas radio guest and the proprietor of GolfOdds.com. I wonder how he got tickets for this game?" Have fun in L.A., bro....

* I'd like to see betting available on the following props:

- Will Tim Donaghy be found dead in the next 6 months?

- Will Cedric Benson play for the Dallas Cowboys in 2008?

- Will Dontrelle Willis ever get anyone out at the major league level again?

- Will ABC's new shows Wipeout and I Survived A Japanese Game Show last more than 5 episodes combined?

- Will Donovan McNabb start Over or Under 9.5 games in 2008?

- Will Jorgen finally snap, jump over the counter, and bludgeon a customer to death with his red man-purse before January 1st, 2009?

See what kind of prices you come up with for these Chris and give me a call. Thank you, sir....

You want more blurgbs, huh? Fine.... Here are a few more things on my mind:

* LSU made it into the 2008 College World Series field and will be facing North Carolina on Sunday in Omaha. I heard a rumor that Austin has an LSU Tigers voodoo doll that he sticks pins into during their games. I uh, I am the one who started that rumor....

* I talked to Chris Bennett on Monday and he gave me the thumbs up on my plans to blog about My 5 Favorite Cartoon Shows. I really think it's going to be the best blog I've ever done and also will almost definitely be the least popular, as it will contain very few jokes and no references to Jorgen. There's something to look forward to....

* Keeping in mind the implications of the word "Hate," I think I hate ESPN's Skip Bayless. This guy does no actual reporting whatsoever. I do more research for my blog than he does for his ESPN segments. All he does is spew hate. He's a complete blowhard and gives players incredibly stupid nicknames that no one could possibly be amused by. Examples include: Kevin GarNOT, Team Obliterator (As in T.O., or Terrell Owens), and Tony Romeo. You know a nickname is stupid/not funny if it's making fun of a Dallas Cowboy and I don't like it. I was watching a segment this morning where Stephen A. Smith and Skip Bayless were debating the sports topics of the day and Smith was the one who came off as the more reasonable and knowledgable of the two. Think about that for a second....

* Ex-NASCAR worker Mauricia Grant is alleging that she was subjected to racial and sexual taunts during her time working for the Nationwide Series. I am from the South (According to some people at least) and I have to say that I find it very hard to believe that old, white, Southern redneck men would ever make racist or sexist remarks about a black female. I'm sorry - It's just too hard to believe this story....

* The blog is now sponsoring David West's page on Basketball-reference.com. Be sure to check that out. I'm really getting my name out there, now. (But what I really need is Jeff to link my blog on his site. I want to be mentioned in Esquire magazine ....)

* Hoffy hasn't blogged since last Thursday which sucks because I have no idea who to bet on.... ....






Oh, man.... I couldn't even type that with a straight face. Seriously, Hoff, bring back the plays brother, preferably some of the "Multi-unit" variety. Thanks....

* Great Heavyweights reference in Andy Ross's blog on Tuesday. Don't pretend like you don't remember that comedy classic. And don't tell me you didn't laugh when you saw that picture Ross posted of Tom McGowan. I'm not buying it....


No picks on Wednesday from this blogger. I feel bad about that so I will give you guys a trivia question.


Trivia Question for Wednesday: As I've mentioned in this space before, the LSU Tigers won the 1996 College World Series on a walk-off home run by 2B Warren Morris. However, a slugger from Miami (FL), who would go on to be the 1st overall pick, won the Most Oustanding Player award of that tournament. Name that player.

** Sunday's Answer: Man O' War did not win the Triple Crown. He was held out of the Kentucky Derby by his handlers. Congrats to CG on that one.

I'm going to go apply for a job as an NBA ref. It seems like a really hard job but I feel it will be worth it to see an advanced copy of the script for playoff games. I'm a little occupied here so I'll let you guys go. Just be sure to....



Enjoy the game.