I'm going to try to keep this short

.... as I have a flight to catch in a couple hours. This is a travel day for me but I feel bad about not blogging on Monday and Tuesday so even though I have nothing interesting to say, I'm going to dig deep and see what I can come up with.

Here are a few blurgbs that come to me as I pack:

* "America" is the current leader of my poll asking who will win the NBA Finals. It's hard to argue with that, although Chris Bennett pointed out that the true answer is ABC and that America is really losing because of this predetermined and overhyped Finals series. The poll is just a joke, Chris....

* Is there a bigger scumbag in the industry than Jorgen? Last night he was having dinner with Amanda and somehow Bennett coaxed him into driving all the way downtown to the Golden Nugget to bet a baseball total that was off by a run. Hasn't Jorgen already been banned from that place for previous scumbaggery? (New word I'm trying out.) And what exactly was Jorgen thinking leaving Amanda's side to go downtown and make a wager? I'd need a little more motivation than a total being off by a run to leave young Amanda and battle the other scumbags like Graham and Metcalf who are running around making bets at that hour. I'm really worried about Jorgen or "Kid Dynamite" as he is also known. I think old K.D. has a gambling problem. Amanda - I'll call you when my plane touches down. (And not just because you asked me to inform you when I was home safely. I really think we need to talk about Jorgen's many, many problems.) Try not to miss me too much while I'm gone....

* Chase Utley now leads Ryan Howard in home runs by a count of 21-15. Mike Miller appears to be in the catbird seat as far as our bet goes - but how could I possibly be mad at the guy? On Tuesday he told me that he has really been enjoying my blog and will sometimes even read through my archives when he is bored for as much as an hour at a time. I thought only Jeff did that....

* So Tuesday was my last night in Vegas for a couple weeks and I went out with my boys Scotty Hoff and Chris Graham. Scott even wore a shirt that said "Don't Hassel the Hoff." We were throwing back some adult beverages and watching the end of the evening baseball games. It was all pretty innocent - until we crossed the line and had too many adult bevies and somehow ended up at a local gentlemen's club. (I don't even remember the conversation that lead to us going there but I guarantee it was the Hoff's idea.) Since I have a vacation coming up, I've been pinching pennies lately so I was happy that a young lady came with us. The three of us sat a table with this girl and none of the "workers" there even approached us, whereas if the three of us sat at a table by ourselves, the girls would've flocked over. I guess they figure if you come in with a girl you're probably not as desperate to have them talk to you or "dance" for you. So we ended up getting out of there relatively cheap. (Oh, expect for Scott. He somehow ended up in a corner with this skank he likes as the rest of us were leaving. Man - that guy knows how to live. I won't share the voicemail he left me at 4 am with you guys. Let's just say that he probably doesn't remember it. That reminds me - If anyone's in the market for a wing man, would you please let me know? I can't keep up with this guy.) Okay, I just realized this is the second time in a month I've talked about going to strip clubs in this blog. Normally that wouldn't be a problem but my bosses read this thing. (Wait - what am I worried about? I'm on vacation. You can't assistant manage my days off, Jeff!) Seriously, I really appreciate that so many of you take the time to read this garbage - it's nice to know that even my work superiors are fans. In fact, not only is Jeff a fan, I'm pretty sure he was wearing a T-shirt yesterday that had my URL on it. The guy goes above and beyond for the blog....

* It may seem like I'm picking on Jeff today but he has it coming. He was breaking my balls on Monday and Tuesday, even though I went over to the deli to get him lunch. I'm sure my parents will be happy to know that they spent an outrageous amount of money to send me to a prep high school and five years of college (Yeah, it took me five years. So what? I did a lot of partying. I mean if you consider sitting around with my buddies, drinking, and watching reruns of Next and Room Raiders until 4 am a party, which I do. Plus, I was a bookie my freshman year. That is a lot of work. My "partner" didn't do anything but tell people about us being bookies and I had to do all the actual work. It sucked. Don't judge me....) so that one day I could go to the deli and get Jeff a chicken caesar salad and have him scold me for forgetting his Sprite....

* In all seriousness, I gotta thank Jeff and Jorgen and Hoffy and Bennett (Among others) for being such good sports. I only tease out of love. The other day I read a quote from Jason Taylor in which he said that in the guy world teasing is a sign of respect. If that is the case, I have a LOT of respect for a lot of people. Or maybe I'm just a jackass....


Here's a going away present for you - A fresh batch of fades:

Red Wings (Silver Bullet Special)

Those Fightin's

Argentina


My good buddy Franco Cortes gave me that Argentina pick. They are playing a friendly match against Mexico tonight in the greatest city in the world - A Whale's Vagina. (Can you believe that Scott won't get this joke? He's never seen Anchorman. Seriously, if you're looking for a wing man, the Hoff is available. He loves beer, strippers, and has lots of funny shirts. Call me if you're interested. We can work something out.) I also really like the Red Wings to close out the Stanely Cup Final(s) tonight at Mellon Arena. I like that play so much I even bothered to look up when the game was being played. Yeah - this is a big one for me.

As I've mentioned earlier in the blog, I'll be on vacation the next couple weeks and to be honest I was planning to put the blog on ice until I get back. However, considering the reaction I got from some co-workers on Tuesday, that is not an option. Nobody cares if I have a fun or relaxing trip back East (Or South depending on what your definition of the East Coast is....) they only care that I blog about it. It seems like a lot of effort to entertain approximately five people but I am committed to the blog and will do my best. Potential blog entry: My brother's girlfriend is apparently having a huge graduation party with a keg and my whole family is invited. Me + keg + 18 year old girls could equal a 2-part entry. I'm just glad Hoffy's not going to be there. Me + keg + 18 year old girls + Hoff would almost certainly equal jail time.

My poll closes at tip time of Game 1 on Thursday night, so be sure to cast your votes before then. My picture section has been a big hit, too. (If you think that picture of Kelly Kapowski is coming down any time this month - you are kidding yourself.) I'll keep rotating those pics.

Try not to miss me too much. (Seriously, Austin - I'll see you in a couple weeks, man. Stop calling me and hanging up. Or at least don't call me from your cell phone. My phone shows your name every time you call. Cut it out, brother.) Be sure to stop by the blog from time to time. I'll be updating it periodically. I don't feel like doing a trivia question today.

Enjoy the Final, enjoy the Finals, and enjoy all the car racing action. Basically, what I'm really trying to say is....



Enjoy the game.