I am too busy focusing on

.... important things like posting pictures of hot girls or writing jokes about Swedish people to keep track of trivial things like what day games I bet on are being played. A lot of you mocked me for thinking the Penguins game was on Friday night, when in reality it will be played on Saturday. I admit it - I goofed, but I say so what? Up until a few weeks ago I didn't even know that the last round of the hockey playoffs was called the Stanley Cup Final, instead of the far more logical Stanley Cup FinalS. Clearly I know nothing about hockey. Nothing about the sport makes sense to me. So, why do I have to know when they are playing the games? Did I not post a really hot picture of Emmanuelle Chriqui? Did I not look up the spelling of her name, so you wouldn't have to? Did I not make funny jokes about Ed, and Jeff, and Jorgen, and Kristy Swanson? Do I also have to be a Don Best book? Get off my case.

(Do you see what I've done here? I'm acting like my thinking the Pens game was on Friday is no big deal and that I shouldn't be ridiculed for it, when the reality is that it was a pretty stupid mistake. So now I'm trying to turn the tables on you all by bringing up positive aspects of my blog to divert your attention from that error. I am good....)

The NBA Finals are now officially set and to the surprise of literally no one on earth it's going to be Lakers-Celtics. David Stern can finally emerge from his hole - he's done his part. Now it's up to the kids to watch and give the NBA the kind of ratings boon that Stern and his refs have been working for the last 2 months.

For the record - no less than 4 different people told me how much they liked the Celtics to win the series on Friday night. No one told me they liked the Lakers. Oh, and one of those Celtics backers was Chad. You know what that means....

Okay, enough. Here are some more of my pointless thoughts that only I laugh at:


* Chris Bennett has teased us all lately with talk of starting his own blog. One that would surely stir up a lot of controversy. I for one would be very interested to read his thoughts on a variety of topics. Behind that gruff exterior, he's a smart kid and a nice enough guy. He even took the time to give me some baseball picks for Saturday, in between taking shots at me and calling my blog garbage. But he didn't hurt my feelings or anything. Anyways, here's one blogger's invitation to Chris to join the party....

* Do you realize we are just four wins away from the reigning NFL and NBA champion head coaches being Tom Coughlin and Doc Rivers, respectively? Plus that imbecile Les Miles of LSU is the reigning BCS champ. Apparently anyone can win given the proper talent.... (Actually that still doesn't explain the Giants winning the Super Bowl. In fact, I still feel like I could wake up at any moment and hear that I dreamed that entire thing....)

* Speaking of LSU, they won their College World Series opener over Texas Southern on Friday afternoon, 12-1. I guarantee Austin followed the entire game online, spitefully rooting against me. Having said that, I have to admit that I am going to miss him the next 3 weeks. (He's going to Colorado and I'm heading back East before he returns.) But that doesn't make me weird or anything. Right....?

Who asked you?

* Saturday's Nationwide Race is called the Heluva Good! 200. Seriously, that's what it's called. With the exclamation point and everything. Look it up....

* I was talking to a buddy of mine yesterday and somehow the topic of the exceptionally stupid Nomar Garciaparra-Mia Hamm "Livin' the G2 Life" commercial came up. He told me that he already knew they were an uber-lame couple after seeing a show where they took viewers on a tour of thier home. During one scene, Nomar dropped an orange and Mia saved it from hitting the ground by juggling it with her feet like a soccer ball and kicking it back up to him....

* Padres 3B Kevin Kouzmanoff went 0-6 on Friday night. His evening featured grounding into both a double play and a triple play. In other words, in 6 trips to the plate, he was responsbile for 9 Padres outs. Maybe sit the next couple of plays out, champ....

* Chase Utley (Or the Great Chase Utley as he is known in some circles) hit a home run last night to give him 18 for the season. In typical Utley fashion, he did during a Phillies blowout win. Meanwhile, a guy whose actually won an NL MVP award and a Home Run crown - 1B Ryan Howard - also went long. The count is now 18-15 in favor of Utley....

* So I'm typing this nonsense and talking to Scotty online about the NBA Finals series price and all of a sudden he tells me that he just had a missed call from a stripper. (Don't ask how she got his number. Even I didn't ask.) Now he's asking me if he should call/text her back. I'm trying to steer the conversation in another direction (Any other direction....) but the Hoff won't let this one go. God bless him. I think this is my cue to wrap up another half-assed edition of the blog. But before I do, I will add that Scott is not the only one who has a crush on the bartender I mentioned in Friday's blog. I also do. If you saw her, you would understand why. (Scott asked me to put that in. Only children are so insecure....)

I'm not making any picks on Saturday. I'm afraid I'll pick a game that isn't being played and be mocked again. Or perhaps I'll just take the Lakers and the points....


Saturday's Trivia Question - What was the name of the fictional college football team coached by James Caan in the movie The Program?

(I bet you didn't think I could mention two Kristy Swanson movies on back-to-back days....)


** Friday's Answer - Warren Morris hit a 2-out, 2-run homer in the bottom of the 9th to win the 1996 College World Series for LSU. The Tigers won it again in 1997 and hopefully will add another national crown this year.

I may not know what games are being played but I'm pretty sure that somewhere someone is playing in a sporting event on Saturday. And if that is in fact true, then I guarantee you can bet on it at the Hilton. I heard that the other day two hobos were fighting over a ham sandwich in the parking lot and we put up a line on who would win. And then Metcalf put up a "Halftime line" on who would get the bag of chips....Anyways, regardless of what sport it is you're watching, please make sure you take the time to....




Enjoy the game.