I'm going to try my best

.... to write a good blog for you guys today but it's hard with the Phillies World Series Parade going on in the background. I keep glancing up at the TV to scan the crowd for Ed.

Honestly, I was hoping that Mother Nature would intervene and ruin the parade for the Phillies fans. Let's see how jovial they can be when it's raining or snowing. Oh well. At least it wasn't the Eagles. Don't believe what these Philadelphia people tell you. As excited as they are about Those Fightin's winning the World Series, as excited as they would be if the Flyers or 76ers won it all, what they really want to see is the Philadelphia Eagles win the Super Bowl. But come on.... that ain't happening. Not now. Not ever. If you looked up choking, rat franchise in the dictionary, you'd see the Eagles logo.

I will say that I am happy for the blog's favorite baseball player: Phillies 1B Ryan Howard. "The Big Guy" now has 2 HR titles, (Probably) 2 NL MVPs, and a World Series championship on his resume. And he's done it all in just three full Major League seasons.

And the majority of Philadelphia fans still don't like him.

I haven't written anything funny in a few weeks so I'll at least try:

* You want an optimistic fan base? Try the Los Angeles Lakers. I talked to Jeff last night (Yeah, the guy who was mentioned on ESPN.com!) and he mocked me for betting on the Cavaliers to win it all, saying that no team besides his beloved Lakers had any chance of claiming the NBA championship next summer. I told him I was going to need a little more proof than wins over the Blazers and Clippers before I run out to bet the Lakers at 7-2, which apparently Jeff is recommending. 7-2 seems like a fair price. I'm sure nothing will happen between now and June.

* True story: I went into the Mirage the other day wearing my Hilton name tag and a "Hilton Super Book is #1" shirt. I walked up to the window and politely asked for a NASCAR printout and inquired about what their limits were. The next thing I knew, I woke up in the desert in my underwear. What an industry.

* Can you imagine the kind of panic that must take place when a noted sharp sharp like CB tries to make a NASCAR bet at one of these places? The kid just exudes sharpness as it is, so when he's betting on a sport that is as flagged as NASCAR is right now, it must cause borderline gay panic amongst the supervisors. In fairness, I can understand why people would panic when they see CB making a bet. If you run your own sports book and CB is betting there, I recommend trying the following things to deter him from taking your money:

1. Show all your tellers a picture of him and instruct them to pretend they don't speak English when he tries to make a bet at their window. Eventually, CB will get frustrated and call his bet out really loudly in an effort to get his message across. At this point, you can move the line before the teller enters in the bet number. A frustrated Chris will leave and take his winning action somewhere else. Meanwhile, you can shade your number to bring in action on the other side.

2. If Option #1 seems like too much effort, simply station a security guard at the entrance to the casino. When CB walks in, have the guard call over to the Sports Book. At this point you can turn off all your lights and put up a "Closed for Remodeling" sign. A disappointed Chris will grab all the futures sheets and split. (This Option may sound extreme but people have been doing it to Jeff for years.)

3. If you find that Options #1 and #2 become too much work, just have your director come out from the back and ban Chris and everyone he knows from betting at your place. I doubt any self-respecting book would do that but I suppose it is possible.

(Wait. I take that back. This is Vegas. Nobody would ever do that. Scratch that one.)

* Ed says it's Chris Paul. Jeff says it's Kobe Bryant. I hear Austin actually thinks it's Carmelo Anthony. But if you want to know who the blog thinks is the best player in the NBA, look no further than LeBron James. I don't even think it's close at this point. When he gets a head of steam going towards the basket, you may as well get out of the way because he's going to dunk it whether you're there or not. The words "Man" and "Crush" may apply here. The guy is awesome. Cleveland is going to make a lot of noise this season.

* I'm sure Texas-Texas Tech will be a good game on Saturday night but, being a Southerner and all, I am way more interested in the SEC showdown between Georgia and Florida. I don't think much of Big 12 football, anyway. There's a reason all these Big 12 quarterbacks and offenses are putting up gaudy numbers: None of the teams in that conference play defense. I'll be proven right on that one come bowl season but for now I'm just interested in the Dawgs-Gators game. Georgia has a lot of guys out and I just don't see how they could beat this Florida team on a neutral field. But it is college, so I guess pretty much anything is possible. If the Bulldogs do pull the upset tomorrow, I will definitely be panicking over my Georgia 'Under' 10.5 ticket which all of a sudden will be hurting in a big way.

* Georgia-Florida has all the makings of a classic but most true Southerners only have one sporting event on their minds heading into the weekend: Sunday's Dickies 500. It looks like most experts are favoring the 99 and 48 cars but one darkhorse to keep an eye could be Matt Kenseth and the 17 team. I know of one book in town that thought so highly of the 17 this week that they opened him at 2-1 to win the race. Call me crazy, but I'm pretty sure that if every book in Vegas has Kenseth between 6 and 10-1, you could hang him at 4-1 or 9-2 without having to worry about taking any (serious) action him.

* Before the NFL season started, I said I thought the Texans were going to be really good this season. I even bet on them to win the Super Bowl, among other things. While the Texans stumbled out of the gates to an 0-4 start, I kept winning bets on other stuff (See: NASCAR) and every week I kept buying more Texans futures tickets. We're at a point now where if the Texans win the Super Bowl, I'm probably going to retire and buy an island somewhere. I bring this up now because I feel like this week's game will finally tell us if this Texans team is actually any good. They are playing on the road against Bennett's Vikings, who are coming off a bye week. A win and Houston is 4-4 with a crucial home game against the Ravens coming up next week. A loss and the Texans fall back to 3-5 and I may be forced to postpone early retirement. Big game.

* But if you're wondering what the biggest game this weekend in the blog's eyes is, believe me, it's no contest: Steelers-Redskins on Monday Night Football. I can't wait for that game. Going to school in Morgantown, WV, (Which is about a 45 minute drive from Pittsburgh) for a few years, I got to know a lot of Steelers fans. They are one of the most annoying fan bases on earth. I was there when they sucked the year before Big Ben arrived. I was there when they finished the regular season 15-1 and were still a home dog in the AFC Championship game against New England (They lost) and I was there when they teamed with the officials to win Super Bowl XL over the Seahawks. And I was annoyed by Steelers fans the whole time.

Steelers fans are on this seemingly pointless quest to constantly prove to everyone that they care about their team more than the rest of us do. I can't even tell you how many times I had a conversation like this:

Steelers Fan: Dude, you don't understand Steelers fans. We really care about our team.

Me: Yeah, I get it. So do Redskins fans. I totally understand. It's literally the exact same thing.

Steelers Fan: Yeah, but we really care, man. You don't understand.

Me: What are you talking about, dude? Redskins fans are exactly the same way. It's a big deal to us, too. It's a big deal to a lot of fan bases all over the league.

Steelers Fan: No, man. We really care. You don't get it.

Me: Guy, I get it. Believe me. I get it.

(Pause)

Steelers Fan: You just don't get it.


I know a lot of you are going to be there on Monday night. And I know what those Monday Night games are like. Show these lame Steelers fans what it's like in Redskin Country.

(Pete: Go easy on the man sodas, bro.)

* Apparently Redskins-Steelers isn't a sexy enough matchup for the Sherman's of the world who have to see 100 points scored in every game to be entertained. However, there will be an interview with Barack Obama and John McCain at halftime. The moderator? Chris Berman, of course. That should be interesting. The blog does have some reservations about our soon to be president-elect. Obama reminds me of one of those backup QBs for a team whose starting QB is struggling. Everyone can't wait for the backup to go into the game but nobody knows why. The backup has never done anything to make people think he's going to succeed. He's just different so people assume he will be better.

We'll see....


Trivia Question for Friday: Who was the Georgia Head Football Coach before Mark Richt took over in 2001?

** Sunday's Answer: Ross is right that Miami beat Nebraska in the Rose Bowl, not the Fiesta Bowl. (Miami-Nebraska. What a classic Rose Bowl matchup.) But Najeh Davenport did not start at fullback in that game. It was actually Willis McGahee, who took over as the starting tailback the following season after Clinton Portis left for the NFL.

Almost forgot about the Leroy's picks. The four week mini-contest starts on Saturday, sparking hopes for three guys who couldn't pick a college football winner if their lives depended on it:

Mr. Phillies: Texas Tech, New Mexico

Mr. 0-8: Colorado, Navy

Mr. Wise Ass: Illinois, Tennessee, Oregon


Before I get out of here, I just want to thank whoever made the decision that it was acceptable for girls to dress like complete and total sluts for Halloween. Excellent call.

So, the blog needs Florida, the Texans, the Redskins, and some clean racing on Sunday afternoon in Fort Worth.

You need to find something more productive to do than reading my blog. I'm going to go finish watching the Phillies parade. I think I just saw Ed!

No, wait. That wasn't him. Nevermind.




Enjoy the game.