.... all go down in the same weekend? Before you know it, we'll be stuck watching Ohio State get run off the field in another BCS Championship game.
I somehow won my only college football bet yesterday on Tennessee, as they covered in a close loss to Auburn.
Yesterday: 1-0, $200
Year to Date: 12-10, +$364
Trying another teaser on Sunday. This one does not involve Derek Anderson in any way:
(202) Jets +7.5 vs. Cardinals
(218) Bears +9.5 vs. Eagles
6.5 pointer costs -120. That's a far cry from those beautiful -101 bets I am allowed to make from time to time. If the Eagles can beat the Bears by double digits in Chicago, with all the injury problems they have on offense, I may start to take them for real. I may even call them a contender.
But I doubt it.
The Mets and Brewers are tied for the NL Wild Card lead with one day left in the regular season.
I wonder which one of them is more likely to choke.
Final day of the baseball regular season, the Washington Redskins are in Dallas to take on the despised Cowboys, and the Cup boys are in Kansas for another version of the Camping World RV 400.
I want to see the Mets sneak into the playoffs, the Skins celebrating one last time in the toilet bowl that is Texas Stadium, and, of course, the Lowe's 48 Chevy Impala in Victory Lane.
Enjoy the day.
Sunday, September 28, 2008
Saturday, September 27, 2008
If you played for the New York Mets
.... what would you do with yourself during the off-season? You obviously couldn't show your face in New York. At least not until the World Series was long gone and football and basketball were dominating the sports headlines. The Mets 2008 collapse will not go down in history the way last season's did but when you put them together and consider that the same players allowed this to happen in back-to-back years, you have to wonder if Willie Randolph or Jerry Manuel are really at fault. Maybe the players are just losers. You're on a 7 game homestand (The final week of Shea Stadium, by the way), you're in both the NL East and NL Wild Card races competing against two very mediocre teams, your opponents have nothing to play for.... and you're losing almost every day. What an embarrassment.
Is it really that hard to put together a solid bullpen when your team has a payroll well north of $100 million? Apparently, in Omar Minaya's world, the answer is yes.
I just realized that I haven't blogged any of my football bets in a while. Must be hard on the faders. Since the last time I posted, I've made a drunk second half bet on my alma mater that I just hoped to get away with (I did), a panicky NFL bet that my bookie had to check to see if I past posted on (I didn't), and a couple NFL teasers that required Derek Anderson coming through for me (He, of course, did not.)
Year to Date: 11-10, +$164
(147) Tennessee +6.5 (-101) @ Auburn
I made this bet a few days ago during a wacky promotion known as -101 Wednesdays. Line seems high considering neither team can move the ball. We'll see.
It's Week 4 of the Leroy's Challenge and one of our team members is off on some (probably made up) business trip to Houston which lead to a lot of panic over whether he'd be able to get his plays in on time. Dude, if you want to impress the blog, don't tell me about your fancy business trips; Make up for your 0-3 performance last week.
Washington -3.5 (GH)
Illinois +14.5 (GH)
Central Michigan -6.5 (HM)
Arkansas St -1.5 (HM)
TCU +17.5 (HM)
Ohio State -17.5 (JM)
Georgia -6.5 (JM)
And some quick updates:
NL East Update: It's over. The Fightin' Phils can get swept out of the playoffs at 10:00 AM local time again. Have fun, Philly fans. Ryan Howard hit yet another home run last night as he puts the finishing touches on another NL MVP season. Good year for that garbage non-All Star. Maybe if Chase Utley hits a home run in every bat the rest of the season, he'll be able to catch RH.
Jorgen Update: Yesterday was the last he and I will work together. Well, at least until he inevitably comes crawling to me for a job in a few years. I'm not going to lie - It was a pretty emotional day. Before Jorgen left, he came into the back room to say goodbye, and I politely asked Debbie to step outside for a moment so that Jorgen and I could embrace in a goodbye manhug. She declined. After some awkward conversation, the "Y" headed out and as he was walking away, Debbie suggested that I run after him to give him a hug. That.... was embarrassing. Emotional day for the blog.
Jeff's IPhone Update: Nothing about the phone itself today but I will say this - I'm pretty sure Jeff has been reading the blog. Don't ask me how I know. I just know. A real blogger can tell who his readers are.
Mom Update: She's coming out here in October for no apparent reason. She's coming alone. And she's staying for a week. When she told me she was definitely coming, I asked her to just notify me when she had the exact dates of her trip. She told me she would "Mail" me a copy of her itinerary. Call me crazy but I assumed she meant she would e-mail it to me. So imagine my surprise when there was a letter from her in my mailbox last night. The contents? A printout of the itinerary the airline e-mailed to her. She's already agreed to leave me alone on the Sunday she's out here so I can watch football (And perhaps a Cup race?) without having to deal with a million questions. But the rest of the week.... Oh, boy.... The rest of the week....
I'm cutting my current poll short. At this point, how could you vote for anyone but the Rams? Let's get a better poll and some fresh pictures up there. I'm also reviewing a handful of applications for the next "Sharp of the Week."
But for now I'm going to try to find out who this "Johnny Parlay" character is.
What a wise ass.
Enjoy the game.
Is it really that hard to put together a solid bullpen when your team has a payroll well north of $100 million? Apparently, in Omar Minaya's world, the answer is yes.
I just realized that I haven't blogged any of my football bets in a while. Must be hard on the faders. Since the last time I posted, I've made a drunk second half bet on my alma mater that I just hoped to get away with (I did), a panicky NFL bet that my bookie had to check to see if I past posted on (I didn't), and a couple NFL teasers that required Derek Anderson coming through for me (He, of course, did not.)
Year to Date: 11-10, +$164
(147) Tennessee +6.5 (-101) @ Auburn
I made this bet a few days ago during a wacky promotion known as -101 Wednesdays. Line seems high considering neither team can move the ball. We'll see.
It's Week 4 of the Leroy's Challenge and one of our team members is off on some (probably made up) business trip to Houston which lead to a lot of panic over whether he'd be able to get his plays in on time. Dude, if you want to impress the blog, don't tell me about your fancy business trips; Make up for your 0-3 performance last week.
Washington -3.5 (GH)
Illinois +14.5 (GH)
Central Michigan -6.5 (HM)
Arkansas St -1.5 (HM)
TCU +17.5 (HM)
Ohio State -17.5 (JM)
Georgia -6.5 (JM)
And some quick updates:
NL East Update: It's over. The Fightin' Phils can get swept out of the playoffs at 10:00 AM local time again. Have fun, Philly fans. Ryan Howard hit yet another home run last night as he puts the finishing touches on another NL MVP season. Good year for that garbage non-All Star. Maybe if Chase Utley hits a home run in every bat the rest of the season, he'll be able to catch RH.
Jorgen Update: Yesterday was the last he and I will work together. Well, at least until he inevitably comes crawling to me for a job in a few years. I'm not going to lie - It was a pretty emotional day. Before Jorgen left, he came into the back room to say goodbye, and I politely asked Debbie to step outside for a moment so that Jorgen and I could embrace in a goodbye manhug. She declined. After some awkward conversation, the "Y" headed out and as he was walking away, Debbie suggested that I run after him to give him a hug. That.... was embarrassing. Emotional day for the blog.
Jeff's IPhone Update: Nothing about the phone itself today but I will say this - I'm pretty sure Jeff has been reading the blog. Don't ask me how I know. I just know. A real blogger can tell who his readers are.
Mom Update: She's coming out here in October for no apparent reason. She's coming alone. And she's staying for a week. When she told me she was definitely coming, I asked her to just notify me when she had the exact dates of her trip. She told me she would "Mail" me a copy of her itinerary. Call me crazy but I assumed she meant she would e-mail it to me. So imagine my surprise when there was a letter from her in my mailbox last night. The contents? A printout of the itinerary the airline e-mailed to her. She's already agreed to leave me alone on the Sunday she's out here so I can watch football (And perhaps a Cup race?) without having to deal with a million questions. But the rest of the week.... Oh, boy.... The rest of the week....
I'm cutting my current poll short. At this point, how could you vote for anyone but the Rams? Let's get a better poll and some fresh pictures up there. I'm also reviewing a handful of applications for the next "Sharp of the Week."
But for now I'm going to try to find out who this "Johnny Parlay" character is.
What a wise ass.
Enjoy the game.
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
The NFL regular season is
.... three weeks old and I only have one question: Which sports book will be the first to put up a "Will the Dallas Cowboys Go 16-0?" prop. Everybody is humping that team, from the squarest squares to the sharpest sharps. The sharps are so high on Dallas right now that I hear you can't buy a Cowboys jersey anywhere in the Pacific Northwest.
(Maybe two people get that joke which is why I think it's funny and chose to use it.)
- Let's go over the undefeated NFL teams, one at a time, as I label them as either contenders or pretenders. I'll provide the commentary. You provide the cringes when my jokes miss:
(Blogger's note: Set aside a block of time for this one. I recommend printing it out and taking it with you into the jon. That way you can flush it down the toilet where it belongs when you are done.)
* Dallas Cowboys, 3-0.
CONTENDER
I'm not going to lie: The Cowboys look really good. Their offense looks awesome. My Dad maintains that Terrell Owens is the best player in the NFL. He may be right about that. But this is not a team without flaws. Let's not forget that their coach is Wade Phillips. Or that their QB has shit for brains. Will someone please tell Turnover Tony that if he's under pressure he can simply throw the ball out of bounds and it's only 2nd and 10? He doesn't have to try to turn every broken play into a highlight.
The defense looked very suspect against the Eagles and the Cowboys have a lot of tough tests left on their schedule including road games against the Cardinals, Giants, Redskins, Steelers, and Eagles. Eventually this team has to suffer some injuries to key players. Seriously, when is that finally going to happen? According to the guys who compiled the 2008 Football Prospectus, the Cowboys have suffered the fewest injuries in the NFL over the last 5 seasons. In fact, the difference between them and the team with the 2nd least injuries is greater than the difference between the #2 and the #12 team. You get all that? No? Well let me sum it up for you then - the Cowboys are due to have some big time players go down.
Right?
Please?
* New York Giants, 3-0
CONTENDER
I did some research on this team and it turns out they are actually the defending Super Bowl Champions. (And you thought I couldn't make that joke again. You give me too much credit. I can make any dumb joke as many times as I want, no matter how sick of said joke everyone is.) The Giants are 3-0 but they really haven't done much this year to prove their worth. The Redskins obviously weren't ready to play during that infamous Week 1 encounter that didn't paint a flattering picture of either team. In Week 2, the Giants beat a Rams team that may actually be trying to lose in an effort to get their coach fired. (You come up with a better explanation.) And last week, Big Blue needed overtime to beat a crappy Bengals team at home.
Yet, I still have them as a contender because there's no reason to not take them seriously. The defense is still very solid. The offense looks pretty potent, as well. The current state of QB play in the NFL is so horrendous that Eli Manning is considered a top tier signal caller. Tom Coughlin is a (gulp) Super Bowl champion head coach. And, in all seriousness, their offensive line is really good. There just aren't a lot of teams in this league that have a good OL, a good DL, a solid QB, and a coach who has won big games. In fact, the Giants may be the only team in the NFL that fits that description, as long as TGTB is spending his Sundays in children's bookstores.
Yikes.
* Buffalo Bills, 3-0
CONTENDER
I really like this team. I like their QB, Trent Edwards. I like their RB, Marshawn Lynch. I like their WRs. I like their offensive line. I like their defense and love their special teams. With the Patriots suddenly looking down and the Jets looking like they may have been a product of #4-related hype, Buffalo has to be considered the favorites in the AFC East right now. In fact, one could argue that with the AFC South teams beating each other up and the AFC North teams dealing with injuries/being terrible, the Bills have a decent shot at earning a first round bye. What would the odds on that have been before the regular season started?
The Bills schedule is very negotiable and they appear to be good in all facets of the game. Buffalo should be 4-0 following Sunday's game with the Rams. They are definitely a team to keep an eye on.
* Tennessee Titans, 3-0
PRETENDER
How can you make the Titans a pretender if you're calling the Bills a contender, you ask? Good question. Tennessee is beyond solid on the defensive side of the ball but in the hyper-competitive AFC South, they are going to have to scratch and claw just to make the playoffs. The Titans still have to play the Vikings, Packers, Colts, and Steelers at home and deal with road games against the Ravens, Bears, Jaguars, Texans, and Colts. There's also the 800 pound gorilla in the room, known as Vince Young.
He's the one in the corner crying over how bad his life as a multi-millionaire athlete is. The Titans are a good team but a Super Bowl contender? I don't think so.
* Denver Broncos, 3-0
PRETENDER
There are certain people who will think I am just saying this to get under their skin but I honestly believe the Broncos are the biggest fraud in the NFL. Pat Bowlen should have sent Ed Hochuli a gift basket after that Chargers game. What a joke. And they were almost as lucky this past week against the Saints. First, the Broncos got away with a blatant offsides penalty on a crucial 3rd and 2 late in the game. Then Martin Gramatica missed a very make able FG, allowing the Broncos to escape with the win.
It says something about Denver's defense that they had leads of 21-3 in both of these games, and both times needed breaks at the end to hold on for wins. At home, no less. Super Bowl contenders don't usually give up 70 points in their first two home games. The Broncos could easily be 1-2 right now and they will be exposed as the season goes on. It won't happen this week against the hapless Kansas City Chiefs, but it will happen.
* Baltimore Ravens, 2-0
PRETENDER
Their two wins came against the Bengals and the Browns, who are a combined 0-6 this season. And both of those games were at home. I like the Ravens defense and they're certainly better than they were a year ago but eventually this team will get theirs. They still have all three road division games, matchups with all 4 NFC East teams, including road games against the Cowboys and Giants, and matchups with all 4 AFC South teams. And having their bye in Week 2 means they have to play 15 straight weeks.
They may as well enjoy being undefeated until Monday because this team will be lucky to finish .500 given their offense and schedule.
Now I'll go over some more groups of teams to watch. Try to contain yourselves.
- "You know who I really think is good...."
* Philadelphia Eagles, 2-1
When did everyone get together and agree to consider the Eagles an elite team? Perhaps I missed that meeting. All these guys have done is win home games against a terrible Rams team and a beat up Steelers team and suddenly they are power rated as one of the 5 best teams in the NFL despite not being in the postseason last year and already having injury problems with their starting QB and RB.
Sounds like a PRETENDER to me.
* Green Bay Packers, 2-1
The Packers have a lot more holes than most people think and it only got worse with the loss of starting CB Al Harris for the season with a torn spleen. Aaron Rodgers has a lot to prove. It's one thing to carve up the Detroit Lions. Let's see him do it against a real team. Ryan Grant looks a step slower than last year. Green Bay is a good team but not a great one. I still like the Vikings to come out of the NFC North.
I'm calling the Packers a PRETENDER for now.
* Pittsburgh Steelers, 2-1
From the little I saw, they looked really bad offensively on Sunday. By all accounts they were completely outcoached by Eagles defensive coordinator Jim Johnson. How do you score 6 points against a team that gave up 41 just six days earlier?
Hate to do it but I have to say that the Steelers are a PRETENDERS as far as Super Bowl contenders, especially now that Big Ben, Fast Willie, and Pro Bowl nose tackle Casey Hampton are all banged up. But I still think they will emerge from the slop that is the AFC North.
- "You Started Slow, So I'll Just Pretend You Don't Exist":
* San Diego Chargers, 1-2
The Chargers lost their first game on a Hail Mary. They lost their second game on what will most likely go down as the worst call of the 2008 season. In their third game, they trounced a Jets team that was favored a week earlier against a Patriots team that had won 20 straight regular season games.
Reverse that Hail Mary pass and that horrible call and San Diego is 3-0 and considered the 2nd best team in the NFL right now by all these pundits. Pro Bowl LT Marcus McNeil is getting over an injury and starting C Nick Hardwick hasn't played this season. LT2 and Antonio Gates are dinged up, as well. If they get all these guys back healthy and Philip Rivers continues to play the way he has so far this year, the Chargers are definitely a CONTENDER. They are still the favorites to come out of the AFC West and they could easily rebound to earn a bye. San Diego started 1-3 in 2007 and ended up in the AFC Championship game, in a year in which the conference was far more competitive than it appears to be this season. Don't count this team out yet.
* Minnesota Vikings, 1-2
I refuse to give up on this team. They have played a really hard schedule so far and it only gets worse with a road game against the Titans this week. But that defense really is good. The running back ain't bad either. LT Bryan McKinnie will rejoin the team for a Week 5 showdown with the Saints on Monday Night Football.
People are counting this team out and I think they're making a big mistake. The schedule gets a lot easier during the second half of the season. I'm definitely calling the Vikings a CONTENDER and still like them to come out of the NFC North.
* Washington Redskins, 2-1
They looked awful in Week 1 against the Giants and the media decided to basically cut them out of the NFC East and act like it's a three team division. In fact, the front page of ESPN.com profiled the division today and showed only Tony Turnover, McNabb, and Eli. Where was my man, Jason Campbell? JC17 threw for 514 yards, 3 TDs, and 0 INTs during consecutive home wins over the Saints and Cardinals, in addition to making several nice plays with his legs. Clinton Portis has been his usual solid self and the WRs, specifically Santana Moss, are making plays in Jim Zorn's offense.
But I see the writing on the wall. Jason Taylor is hurt. Moss will go down eventually. He always does. Shawn Springs and Marcus Washington are banged up. Starting RT Stephon Heyer was injured against the Cardinals and will most likely be out against Dallas. But this team's biggest problem isn't their mounting injury woes, it's their division. Put the Redskins in the NFC North, NFC West, AFC East, AFC North, AFC West, or even the NFC South, where certain Northeastern people would argue they belong anyway, and they are most likely headed back to the postseason for the third team in four years. But in the NFC East, I have to admit that they are PRETENDERS.
- "Hey, You Were Good Last Year.... Right?"
* New England Patriots, 2-1
It's amazing how quickly people forget. Yes, TGTB is out for the year. And yes they did just get crushed at home by a mediocre Miami Dolphins team. But we're still talking about the New England Patriots. Richard Seymour, Ty Warren, and Vince Wilfork comprise the best defensive line in the AFC. The offensive line is very solid. Randy Moss is one of the best WRs in NFL history. Wes Welker is scrappy. Their coach is pretty good, too.
I like the Bills but I'll be the first to admit that the AFC East is a very winnable division for New England. Their schedule is extremely negotiable and they were hardly a one man team last year. Tom Brady is great but he didn't go 19-0 by himself. The Patriots are still a definite CONTENDER in the blog's opinion.
* Indianapolis Colts, 1-2
It seems like every preseason all the "Experts" would tell us how the Colts couldn't possibly keep winning. These people would tell us how the Colts were too thin at too many key positions and how the other AFC South teams were catching up to them. Then the Colts would start 8-0 and everyone would act like they never doubted them in the first place.
Well, it appears that those haters will finally be proven right. The Colts look old. They look slow. They should probably 0-3 right now. They don't even look like a playoff team, let alone a Super Bowl threat. Marvin Harrison's career is winding down. Jeff Saturday and Dallas Clark are banged up. Bob "Over/Under 9.5 Games" Sanders is already out with his annual injury. They cut their nose tackle Ed Johnson due to a drug charge. You'd have to be a complete NFL junkie/nerd to name one LB on their team. They are no longer in a stadium they can pump artificial noise into and their home field advantage appears to be minimal at best. (Take note of this Seattle.) And the rest of the AFC South may have finally caught up. The Colts are definitely PRETENDERS. It will take a phenomenal season from Manning to get this team into the playoffs.
- Other Notes:
* The 4 NFC East teams are a combined 10-2. The Eagles lost to the Cowboys and the Redskins lost to the Giants.
* I have a bet on the Packers +0.5 wins against the Browns. I just wanted to mention that in the blog because I haven't told anyone about it yet.
For $10, I will allow you to come to my house and take pictures of yourself holding the ticket, which is, naturally, in a frame. Bennett - I'll only charge you 5. You're welcome, bro.
* My four fantasy teams went 4-0 over the weekend. Yeah, I have four fantasy teams and a blog.
Shut up, Jeff.
* I didn't mention a single team from the NFC South or NFC West in my breakdowns. I expect Tampa Bay to win the South. They are pretty solid. And in the West, who cares? It's all complete garbage. Just some team that gets to be the #4 seed and lose a wild card game to one of the NFC East squads. Why can't the Redskins be based out of Washington state? They could win the NFC West and host a playoff game and I would be considered a sharp sharp just because I am from the Pacific Northwest.
There's that joke again. What does it even mean?
* Suge Knight came by the book on Monday. I've always blamed Suge for the murders of 2Pac and Biggie Smalls, the latter of which I consider to be symbolic of the death of hip hop music as a respectable genre. I've heard all the conspiracy theories and it seems to me that Suge's greed and selfishness is why 2Pac is dead and his ruthlessness is why Biggie is gone. It's Suge Knight's fault that rap is such a complete embarrassment today and why I still listen to the same people I did when I was 14 years old and living in the hard suburbs of McLean, Virginia.
So when I heard that the former CEO of Death Row records was in the building, I had to see him in person. I wanted to at least make a face at him. A face that said something like, "Yeah, I know it was you. You're the reason we have to listen to this garbage now." But then I actually saw him. It turns out that ex-NFL linemen/bodyguards/inmates look pretty tough in person, too.
I hope Suge doesn't read the blog.
* Speaking of work, here are some jobs I am currently considering applying for:
1. Starting QB, Kansas City Chiefs.
I started at QB for almost 2 years in junior high. That's gotta be better than what they have now.
2. Relief Pitcher, New York Mets
I seriously hate this team so much. On Tuesday, Ed informed me that if baseball games were only 6 innings long, the Mets would currently hold a 12.5 game lead over the Phillies. But they are 9 innings long, so the Mets actually trail by 1.5. Wow. What a team.
3. General Manager, Detroit Lions
I have no credentials. But I could do a better job than Matt Millen. I'd even agree to buy a house in Michigan and come to work every day at the teams headquarters.
Here's a new feature we are starting due to a request from Matt Metcalf. I'm calling it the "Sharp of the Week." Although, I probably will only do it every month or so. I applaud Matt for recommending new ideas for the blog and implore you all to do the same. You know where to find me.
Anyways, the winner of the blog's first "Sharp of the Week" award is:
Scott Hoffman
Wait for it.
One moment....
Okay, Bennett slammed his computer shut. Let's continue....
I gotta go with Hoffy as my "Sharp of the Week." He's been absolutely on fire with his football picks. The guy's been so hot that even his own bookie wants him to up his bets because he's so impressed with The H's handicapping acumen. In addition to his torrid run on the gridiron, Hoffy's preseason baseball picks are coming to fruition and about to set up a wild October. And on top of all this he sent me a drunk text message at 7:00 AM on Monday morning to tell me he beat the manager of the Hard Rock poker room out of two dimes heads up. I worked until 12:30 on Sunday night, so what else would I be doing at 7 AM on Monday but waiting for a text message from Hoffman? He is truly a sharp's sharp; not only is he a sharp but he has the respect and adoration of other sharps around the city. What a run the Hoff is on.
And perhaps his biggest victory comes next week when our boy Jorgie leaves the SuperBook and joins Hoffy's team at the Venetian. Man, some guys have all the luck.
Weekly football winners, outstanding baseball futures working out, poker room beatdowns, and more face time with Jorgen all add up to a very easy choice for the blog's "Sharp of the Week."
(By the way, the rumors that I have a picture of Scott on my fridge are true. Please don't judge me.)
Congrats, Scott on being the first "Sharp of the Week!"
Trivia Question for Wednesday: The Rams are benching starting QB Marc Bulger for 38-year-old backup (and Iowa native) Trent Green. Where did Green's NFL career begin and who was his QBs coach?
** Friday's Answer: The last time the U.S. won the Ryder Cup (prior to this past weekend) was in fact in 1999, at Brookline, thanks to a clutch putt by Justin Leonard. Jon Ross nailed that question so well that he may end up giving Franco Cortes a run for his money in the trivia game.
And enjoy the game.
(Maybe two people get that joke which is why I think it's funny and chose to use it.)
- Let's go over the undefeated NFL teams, one at a time, as I label them as either contenders or pretenders. I'll provide the commentary. You provide the cringes when my jokes miss:
(Blogger's note: Set aside a block of time for this one. I recommend printing it out and taking it with you into the jon. That way you can flush it down the toilet where it belongs when you are done.)
* Dallas Cowboys, 3-0.
CONTENDER
I'm not going to lie: The Cowboys look really good. Their offense looks awesome. My Dad maintains that Terrell Owens is the best player in the NFL. He may be right about that. But this is not a team without flaws. Let's not forget that their coach is Wade Phillips. Or that their QB has shit for brains. Will someone please tell Turnover Tony that if he's under pressure he can simply throw the ball out of bounds and it's only 2nd and 10? He doesn't have to try to turn every broken play into a highlight.
The defense looked very suspect against the Eagles and the Cowboys have a lot of tough tests left on their schedule including road games against the Cardinals, Giants, Redskins, Steelers, and Eagles. Eventually this team has to suffer some injuries to key players. Seriously, when is that finally going to happen? According to the guys who compiled the 2008 Football Prospectus, the Cowboys have suffered the fewest injuries in the NFL over the last 5 seasons. In fact, the difference between them and the team with the 2nd least injuries is greater than the difference between the #2 and the #12 team. You get all that? No? Well let me sum it up for you then - the Cowboys are due to have some big time players go down.
Right?
Please?
* New York Giants, 3-0
CONTENDER
I did some research on this team and it turns out they are actually the defending Super Bowl Champions. (And you thought I couldn't make that joke again. You give me too much credit. I can make any dumb joke as many times as I want, no matter how sick of said joke everyone is.) The Giants are 3-0 but they really haven't done much this year to prove their worth. The Redskins obviously weren't ready to play during that infamous Week 1 encounter that didn't paint a flattering picture of either team. In Week 2, the Giants beat a Rams team that may actually be trying to lose in an effort to get their coach fired. (You come up with a better explanation.) And last week, Big Blue needed overtime to beat a crappy Bengals team at home.
Yet, I still have them as a contender because there's no reason to not take them seriously. The defense is still very solid. The offense looks pretty potent, as well. The current state of QB play in the NFL is so horrendous that Eli Manning is considered a top tier signal caller. Tom Coughlin is a (gulp) Super Bowl champion head coach. And, in all seriousness, their offensive line is really good. There just aren't a lot of teams in this league that have a good OL, a good DL, a solid QB, and a coach who has won big games. In fact, the Giants may be the only team in the NFL that fits that description, as long as TGTB is spending his Sundays in children's bookstores.
Yikes.
* Buffalo Bills, 3-0
CONTENDER
I really like this team. I like their QB, Trent Edwards. I like their RB, Marshawn Lynch. I like their WRs. I like their offensive line. I like their defense and love their special teams. With the Patriots suddenly looking down and the Jets looking like they may have been a product of #4-related hype, Buffalo has to be considered the favorites in the AFC East right now. In fact, one could argue that with the AFC South teams beating each other up and the AFC North teams dealing with injuries/being terrible, the Bills have a decent shot at earning a first round bye. What would the odds on that have been before the regular season started?
The Bills schedule is very negotiable and they appear to be good in all facets of the game. Buffalo should be 4-0 following Sunday's game with the Rams. They are definitely a team to keep an eye on.
* Tennessee Titans, 3-0
PRETENDER
How can you make the Titans a pretender if you're calling the Bills a contender, you ask? Good question. Tennessee is beyond solid on the defensive side of the ball but in the hyper-competitive AFC South, they are going to have to scratch and claw just to make the playoffs. The Titans still have to play the Vikings, Packers, Colts, and Steelers at home and deal with road games against the Ravens, Bears, Jaguars, Texans, and Colts. There's also the 800 pound gorilla in the room, known as Vince Young.
He's the one in the corner crying over how bad his life as a multi-millionaire athlete is. The Titans are a good team but a Super Bowl contender? I don't think so.
* Denver Broncos, 3-0
PRETENDER
There are certain people who will think I am just saying this to get under their skin but I honestly believe the Broncos are the biggest fraud in the NFL. Pat Bowlen should have sent Ed Hochuli a gift basket after that Chargers game. What a joke. And they were almost as lucky this past week against the Saints. First, the Broncos got away with a blatant offsides penalty on a crucial 3rd and 2 late in the game. Then Martin Gramatica missed a very make able FG, allowing the Broncos to escape with the win.
It says something about Denver's defense that they had leads of 21-3 in both of these games, and both times needed breaks at the end to hold on for wins. At home, no less. Super Bowl contenders don't usually give up 70 points in their first two home games. The Broncos could easily be 1-2 right now and they will be exposed as the season goes on. It won't happen this week against the hapless Kansas City Chiefs, but it will happen.
* Baltimore Ravens, 2-0
PRETENDER
Their two wins came against the Bengals and the Browns, who are a combined 0-6 this season. And both of those games were at home. I like the Ravens defense and they're certainly better than they were a year ago but eventually this team will get theirs. They still have all three road division games, matchups with all 4 NFC East teams, including road games against the Cowboys and Giants, and matchups with all 4 AFC South teams. And having their bye in Week 2 means they have to play 15 straight weeks.
They may as well enjoy being undefeated until Monday because this team will be lucky to finish .500 given their offense and schedule.
Now I'll go over some more groups of teams to watch. Try to contain yourselves.
- "You know who I really think is good...."
* Philadelphia Eagles, 2-1
When did everyone get together and agree to consider the Eagles an elite team? Perhaps I missed that meeting. All these guys have done is win home games against a terrible Rams team and a beat up Steelers team and suddenly they are power rated as one of the 5 best teams in the NFL despite not being in the postseason last year and already having injury problems with their starting QB and RB.
Sounds like a PRETENDER to me.
* Green Bay Packers, 2-1
The Packers have a lot more holes than most people think and it only got worse with the loss of starting CB Al Harris for the season with a torn spleen. Aaron Rodgers has a lot to prove. It's one thing to carve up the Detroit Lions. Let's see him do it against a real team. Ryan Grant looks a step slower than last year. Green Bay is a good team but not a great one. I still like the Vikings to come out of the NFC North.
I'm calling the Packers a PRETENDER for now.
* Pittsburgh Steelers, 2-1
From the little I saw, they looked really bad offensively on Sunday. By all accounts they were completely outcoached by Eagles defensive coordinator Jim Johnson. How do you score 6 points against a team that gave up 41 just six days earlier?
Hate to do it but I have to say that the Steelers are a PRETENDERS as far as Super Bowl contenders, especially now that Big Ben, Fast Willie, and Pro Bowl nose tackle Casey Hampton are all banged up. But I still think they will emerge from the slop that is the AFC North.
- "You Started Slow, So I'll Just Pretend You Don't Exist":
* San Diego Chargers, 1-2
The Chargers lost their first game on a Hail Mary. They lost their second game on what will most likely go down as the worst call of the 2008 season. In their third game, they trounced a Jets team that was favored a week earlier against a Patriots team that had won 20 straight regular season games.
Reverse that Hail Mary pass and that horrible call and San Diego is 3-0 and considered the 2nd best team in the NFL right now by all these pundits. Pro Bowl LT Marcus McNeil is getting over an injury and starting C Nick Hardwick hasn't played this season. LT2 and Antonio Gates are dinged up, as well. If they get all these guys back healthy and Philip Rivers continues to play the way he has so far this year, the Chargers are definitely a CONTENDER. They are still the favorites to come out of the AFC West and they could easily rebound to earn a bye. San Diego started 1-3 in 2007 and ended up in the AFC Championship game, in a year in which the conference was far more competitive than it appears to be this season. Don't count this team out yet.
* Minnesota Vikings, 1-2
I refuse to give up on this team. They have played a really hard schedule so far and it only gets worse with a road game against the Titans this week. But that defense really is good. The running back ain't bad either. LT Bryan McKinnie will rejoin the team for a Week 5 showdown with the Saints on Monday Night Football.
People are counting this team out and I think they're making a big mistake. The schedule gets a lot easier during the second half of the season. I'm definitely calling the Vikings a CONTENDER and still like them to come out of the NFC North.
* Washington Redskins, 2-1
They looked awful in Week 1 against the Giants and the media decided to basically cut them out of the NFC East and act like it's a three team division. In fact, the front page of ESPN.com profiled the division today and showed only Tony Turnover, McNabb, and Eli. Where was my man, Jason Campbell? JC17 threw for 514 yards, 3 TDs, and 0 INTs during consecutive home wins over the Saints and Cardinals, in addition to making several nice plays with his legs. Clinton Portis has been his usual solid self and the WRs, specifically Santana Moss, are making plays in Jim Zorn's offense.
But I see the writing on the wall. Jason Taylor is hurt. Moss will go down eventually. He always does. Shawn Springs and Marcus Washington are banged up. Starting RT Stephon Heyer was injured against the Cardinals and will most likely be out against Dallas. But this team's biggest problem isn't their mounting injury woes, it's their division. Put the Redskins in the NFC North, NFC West, AFC East, AFC North, AFC West, or even the NFC South, where certain Northeastern people would argue they belong anyway, and they are most likely headed back to the postseason for the third team in four years. But in the NFC East, I have to admit that they are PRETENDERS.
- "Hey, You Were Good Last Year.... Right?"
* New England Patriots, 2-1
It's amazing how quickly people forget. Yes, TGTB is out for the year. And yes they did just get crushed at home by a mediocre Miami Dolphins team. But we're still talking about the New England Patriots. Richard Seymour, Ty Warren, and Vince Wilfork comprise the best defensive line in the AFC. The offensive line is very solid. Randy Moss is one of the best WRs in NFL history. Wes Welker is scrappy. Their coach is pretty good, too.
I like the Bills but I'll be the first to admit that the AFC East is a very winnable division for New England. Their schedule is extremely negotiable and they were hardly a one man team last year. Tom Brady is great but he didn't go 19-0 by himself. The Patriots are still a definite CONTENDER in the blog's opinion.
* Indianapolis Colts, 1-2
It seems like every preseason all the "Experts" would tell us how the Colts couldn't possibly keep winning. These people would tell us how the Colts were too thin at too many key positions and how the other AFC South teams were catching up to them. Then the Colts would start 8-0 and everyone would act like they never doubted them in the first place.
Well, it appears that those haters will finally be proven right. The Colts look old. They look slow. They should probably 0-3 right now. They don't even look like a playoff team, let alone a Super Bowl threat. Marvin Harrison's career is winding down. Jeff Saturday and Dallas Clark are banged up. Bob "Over/Under 9.5 Games" Sanders is already out with his annual injury. They cut their nose tackle Ed Johnson due to a drug charge. You'd have to be a complete NFL junkie/nerd to name one LB on their team. They are no longer in a stadium they can pump artificial noise into and their home field advantage appears to be minimal at best. (Take note of this Seattle.) And the rest of the AFC South may have finally caught up. The Colts are definitely PRETENDERS. It will take a phenomenal season from Manning to get this team into the playoffs.
- Other Notes:
* The 4 NFC East teams are a combined 10-2. The Eagles lost to the Cowboys and the Redskins lost to the Giants.
* I have a bet on the Packers +0.5 wins against the Browns. I just wanted to mention that in the blog because I haven't told anyone about it yet.
For $10, I will allow you to come to my house and take pictures of yourself holding the ticket, which is, naturally, in a frame. Bennett - I'll only charge you 5. You're welcome, bro.
* My four fantasy teams went 4-0 over the weekend. Yeah, I have four fantasy teams and a blog.
Shut up, Jeff.
* I didn't mention a single team from the NFC South or NFC West in my breakdowns. I expect Tampa Bay to win the South. They are pretty solid. And in the West, who cares? It's all complete garbage. Just some team that gets to be the #4 seed and lose a wild card game to one of the NFC East squads. Why can't the Redskins be based out of Washington state? They could win the NFC West and host a playoff game and I would be considered a sharp sharp just because I am from the Pacific Northwest.
There's that joke again. What does it even mean?
* Suge Knight came by the book on Monday. I've always blamed Suge for the murders of 2Pac and Biggie Smalls, the latter of which I consider to be symbolic of the death of hip hop music as a respectable genre. I've heard all the conspiracy theories and it seems to me that Suge's greed and selfishness is why 2Pac is dead and his ruthlessness is why Biggie is gone. It's Suge Knight's fault that rap is such a complete embarrassment today and why I still listen to the same people I did when I was 14 years old and living in the hard suburbs of McLean, Virginia.
So when I heard that the former CEO of Death Row records was in the building, I had to see him in person. I wanted to at least make a face at him. A face that said something like, "Yeah, I know it was you. You're the reason we have to listen to this garbage now." But then I actually saw him. It turns out that ex-NFL linemen/bodyguards/inmates look pretty tough in person, too.
I hope Suge doesn't read the blog.
* Speaking of work, here are some jobs I am currently considering applying for:
1. Starting QB, Kansas City Chiefs.
I started at QB for almost 2 years in junior high. That's gotta be better than what they have now.
2. Relief Pitcher, New York Mets
I seriously hate this team so much. On Tuesday, Ed informed me that if baseball games were only 6 innings long, the Mets would currently hold a 12.5 game lead over the Phillies. But they are 9 innings long, so the Mets actually trail by 1.5. Wow. What a team.
3. General Manager, Detroit Lions
I have no credentials. But I could do a better job than Matt Millen. I'd even agree to buy a house in Michigan and come to work every day at the teams headquarters.
Here's a new feature we are starting due to a request from Matt Metcalf. I'm calling it the "Sharp of the Week." Although, I probably will only do it every month or so. I applaud Matt for recommending new ideas for the blog and implore you all to do the same. You know where to find me.
Anyways, the winner of the blog's first "Sharp of the Week" award is:
Scott Hoffman
Wait for it.
One moment....
Okay, Bennett slammed his computer shut. Let's continue....
I gotta go with Hoffy as my "Sharp of the Week." He's been absolutely on fire with his football picks. The guy's been so hot that even his own bookie wants him to up his bets because he's so impressed with The H's handicapping acumen. In addition to his torrid run on the gridiron, Hoffy's preseason baseball picks are coming to fruition and about to set up a wild October. And on top of all this he sent me a drunk text message at 7:00 AM on Monday morning to tell me he beat the manager of the Hard Rock poker room out of two dimes heads up. I worked until 12:30 on Sunday night, so what else would I be doing at 7 AM on Monday but waiting for a text message from Hoffman? He is truly a sharp's sharp; not only is he a sharp but he has the respect and adoration of other sharps around the city. What a run the Hoff is on.
And perhaps his biggest victory comes next week when our boy Jorgie leaves the SuperBook and joins Hoffy's team at the Venetian. Man, some guys have all the luck.
Weekly football winners, outstanding baseball futures working out, poker room beatdowns, and more face time with Jorgen all add up to a very easy choice for the blog's "Sharp of the Week."
(By the way, the rumors that I have a picture of Scott on my fridge are true. Please don't judge me.)
Congrats, Scott on being the first "Sharp of the Week!"
Trivia Question for Wednesday: The Rams are benching starting QB Marc Bulger for 38-year-old backup (and Iowa native) Trent Green. Where did Green's NFL career begin and who was his QBs coach?
** Friday's Answer: The last time the U.S. won the Ryder Cup (prior to this past weekend) was in fact in 1999, at Brookline, thanks to a clutch putt by Justin Leonard. Jon Ross nailed that question so well that he may end up giving Franco Cortes a run for his money in the trivia game.
New poll, new pictures today. The Ryder Cup was the surprise runaway of the last poll. I can't believe more people didn't vote for the Camping World RV 400. It looks like Bennett was the only one. Perhaps you guys are more excited about this week's race - the Camping World RV 400.
(Don't ask.)
Arizona State couldn't come through for me with a win on Saturday but at least I had that picture of two hot ASU coeds kissing on my blog for almost a week. Why did I take it down, you ask?
(Don't ask that either.)
And enjoy the game.
Friday, September 19, 2008
As much as I hate those fans
.... who panic after every loss and call for the coach's head, it's hard not to think West Virginia made a huge mistake when they removed the interim tag from Bill Stewart and gave him the job full time after the Mountaineers crushed Oklahoma in the Fiesta Bowl. And they may have made an even bigger mistake when they handed him a 6 year extension last week. What exactly had he done to deserve an extension? At the time he was 1-1 with a win over Villanova in Morgantown and an embarassing 24-3 loss at East Carolina. Now his team is 1-2 after another tough loss in which their offense was completely held in check by an average (at best) Colorado defense.
I would like to thank Pat White and the defense for at least covering the 2nd half number last night and allowing me to get away with a degenerate drunken bet that I made because I was 100% convinced that WVU would win that game. The Hard Rock could've pretty much hung any number up there and I would have bet it. It's funny how I'll spend hours researching games and end up losing on stupid turnovers, terrible calls, or (most frequently) complete misreads of the games. Then I'll win it back by betting on my alma mater in the 2H because I can't be impartial (or sober.)
What an industry.
I woke up early this morning to watch the Cup practice (Don't roll your eyes, Chris. I really did. Hey man, I don't have to prove anything to you. Back off, bro.) And since I'm awake and sitting on my couch watching the Ryder Cup, I figure I may as well do that thing where I write my dopey thoughts next to an asterisk and a handful of you guys read them when you are completely out of ideas for what else to do. You're welcome.
* Cowboys-Packers, Steelers-Eagles, Panthers-Vikings, Jaguars-Colts... who cares? The biggest game of the weekend for the blog will take place Sunday at FedEx Field, as the Washington Redskins host the Cardinals. These teams met last year at FedEx and the Skins were very lucky to hold on for the win. It was a classic 2007 Redskins game, as they built what appeared to be a safe lead, then did everything possible to give it away in the second half. However, unlike second half collapses that lead to losses against the Giants, Eagles, and Bills, the Skins actually held on to beat the Cardinals on a missed FG by Neil Rackers as time expired. That missed FG was set up by a successful onsides kick that followed a late Cardinals TD. Seriously.
The Cardinals are one of those teams that I never take seriously no matter what they do. But I have to admit they have been impressive so far this season albeit against the 49ers and Dolphins. They finally gave up on that ridiculous Matt Leinart and Kurt Warner looks good throwing to Fitzgerald and Boldin. The defense doesn't have many stars besides S Adrian Wilson, but they do have a lot of fast, young players.
This is going to be a tough game for the Redskins. They can't afford to make the kind of dumb mistakes they made last week (Are you reading this Twan? No? Of course, you're not. Nobody is. I apologize, sir) because the Cardinals defense is a lot better than the Saints' and Campbell won't be able to throw at will on Sunday. Speaking of JC17, one of the blog's many informants spotted him this week at Chipotle. Our man in the field was actually wearing a Campbell jersey at the time and attempted to take a picutre of the quarterback on his cell phone so he could send it to me. He failed. Way to go, guy.
Anyways, the blog would love to call for a Redskins victory on Sunday but I see this as a classic spot for them to give away a game they could and maybe even should win. This one's just too close to call, so my advice would be to tease the Cardinals up and sit back. I'd be shocked if the Redskins won this game by double digits.
* I guess the biggest game this weekend is the Sunday night affair between the Cowboys and Packers at Lambeau Field. The line is Dallas -3 everywhere right now. I have to admit that the blog would be very attempted to make a wager on Packers +3.5 if the line moves there. After all, I hear that Bennett made this number Packers -12.5. Seems high but he is a (self-described) sharp sharp so who am I to second guess?
One of the city's hottest cappers, a man known simply as "The H" has already placed a wager on the Packers +3. Trust me: If you are betting the NFL, you want to be on the same side as The H. The blog likes the Packers to shock the kids by beating TQTR and the Cowboys on Sunday.
* Sunday's best day game may be the Keystone State Battle between the Steelers and Eagles in Philadelphia. Noted moron DeSean Jackson and the Eagles are 1-1 after losing a slugfest to the Cowboys on Monday night and are definitely the more desperate team heading into this game. I keep hearing from arguably the most NFL savvy linesmaker in Las Vegas that the Steelers offensive line is garbage and will be their downfall this season. But I don't see it happening this week. Do the Eagles even have a pass rush? Who knew that Darren Howard was still playing in the NFL? Philly's offense actually has to go against a respectable defense on Sunday for the first time this year. Let's just say that there will be a lot of angry goombahs calling in to Philadelphia radio stations on Monday morning to complain.
That doesn't necessarily mean the Eagles lost. Those idiots would call in to bitch if they won 100-0.
Hmmm, good point. I should've been more specific. The Eagles will lose to the Steelers on Sunday. But I won't be betting the game.
(See what I've done here? If the Steelers win, I can say I told you so on Monday morning but if they lose, I can say that I had a feeling the Eagles would pull it off and that's why I didn't bet the game. I should have been a politician.)
* I like the Browns to get their first win of the season on Sunday in Baltimore. I'm also expecting to see the Vikings break through for their first win. Although, I wouldn't mind seeing AD tear his ACL in the process. (I know, I know. I'm a bastard. But I'm nowhere near as bad as Mertins who sent me a joyous text during Week 1 when Tom Brady blew his knee out. Not because it benefited him in any way. Just because he hates TGTB. Now that guy's a bastard.) I like the Bucs to win on the road over the Bears and I am hoping for a shootout in the Lions-49ers game to help my fantasy team. I've hitched my wagon firmly to J.T. O'Sullivan this week.
Okay, that was the moment right there. The moment I finally started to panic about my fantasy team(s). I was wondering when that was going to happen.
I would like to thank Pat White and the defense for at least covering the 2nd half number last night and allowing me to get away with a degenerate drunken bet that I made because I was 100% convinced that WVU would win that game. The Hard Rock could've pretty much hung any number up there and I would have bet it. It's funny how I'll spend hours researching games and end up losing on stupid turnovers, terrible calls, or (most frequently) complete misreads of the games. Then I'll win it back by betting on my alma mater in the 2H because I can't be impartial (or sober.)
What an industry.
I woke up early this morning to watch the Cup practice (Don't roll your eyes, Chris. I really did. Hey man, I don't have to prove anything to you. Back off, bro.) And since I'm awake and sitting on my couch watching the Ryder Cup, I figure I may as well do that thing where I write my dopey thoughts next to an asterisk and a handful of you guys read them when you are completely out of ideas for what else to do. You're welcome.
* Cowboys-Packers, Steelers-Eagles, Panthers-Vikings, Jaguars-Colts... who cares? The biggest game of the weekend for the blog will take place Sunday at FedEx Field, as the Washington Redskins host the Cardinals. These teams met last year at FedEx and the Skins were very lucky to hold on for the win. It was a classic 2007 Redskins game, as they built what appeared to be a safe lead, then did everything possible to give it away in the second half. However, unlike second half collapses that lead to losses against the Giants, Eagles, and Bills, the Skins actually held on to beat the Cardinals on a missed FG by Neil Rackers as time expired. That missed FG was set up by a successful onsides kick that followed a late Cardinals TD. Seriously.
The Cardinals are one of those teams that I never take seriously no matter what they do. But I have to admit they have been impressive so far this season albeit against the 49ers and Dolphins. They finally gave up on that ridiculous Matt Leinart and Kurt Warner looks good throwing to Fitzgerald and Boldin. The defense doesn't have many stars besides S Adrian Wilson, but they do have a lot of fast, young players.
This is going to be a tough game for the Redskins. They can't afford to make the kind of dumb mistakes they made last week (Are you reading this Twan? No? Of course, you're not. Nobody is. I apologize, sir) because the Cardinals defense is a lot better than the Saints' and Campbell won't be able to throw at will on Sunday. Speaking of JC17, one of the blog's many informants spotted him this week at Chipotle. Our man in the field was actually wearing a Campbell jersey at the time and attempted to take a picutre of the quarterback on his cell phone so he could send it to me. He failed. Way to go, guy.
Anyways, the blog would love to call for a Redskins victory on Sunday but I see this as a classic spot for them to give away a game they could and maybe even should win. This one's just too close to call, so my advice would be to tease the Cardinals up and sit back. I'd be shocked if the Redskins won this game by double digits.
* I guess the biggest game this weekend is the Sunday night affair between the Cowboys and Packers at Lambeau Field. The line is Dallas -3 everywhere right now. I have to admit that the blog would be very attempted to make a wager on Packers +3.5 if the line moves there. After all, I hear that Bennett made this number Packers -12.5. Seems high but he is a (self-described) sharp sharp so who am I to second guess?
One of the city's hottest cappers, a man known simply as "The H" has already placed a wager on the Packers +3. Trust me: If you are betting the NFL, you want to be on the same side as The H. The blog likes the Packers to shock the kids by beating TQTR and the Cowboys on Sunday.
* Sunday's best day game may be the Keystone State Battle between the Steelers and Eagles in Philadelphia. Noted moron DeSean Jackson and the Eagles are 1-1 after losing a slugfest to the Cowboys on Monday night and are definitely the more desperate team heading into this game. I keep hearing from arguably the most NFL savvy linesmaker in Las Vegas that the Steelers offensive line is garbage and will be their downfall this season. But I don't see it happening this week. Do the Eagles even have a pass rush? Who knew that Darren Howard was still playing in the NFL? Philly's offense actually has to go against a respectable defense on Sunday for the first time this year. Let's just say that there will be a lot of angry goombahs calling in to Philadelphia radio stations on Monday morning to complain.
That doesn't necessarily mean the Eagles lost. Those idiots would call in to bitch if they won 100-0.
Hmmm, good point. I should've been more specific. The Eagles will lose to the Steelers on Sunday. But I won't be betting the game.
(See what I've done here? If the Steelers win, I can say I told you so on Monday morning but if they lose, I can say that I had a feeling the Eagles would pull it off and that's why I didn't bet the game. I should have been a politician.)
* I like the Browns to get their first win of the season on Sunday in Baltimore. I'm also expecting to see the Vikings break through for their first win. Although, I wouldn't mind seeing AD tear his ACL in the process. (I know, I know. I'm a bastard. But I'm nowhere near as bad as Mertins who sent me a joyous text during Week 1 when Tom Brady blew his knee out. Not because it benefited him in any way. Just because he hates TGTB. Now that guy's a bastard.) I like the Bucs to win on the road over the Bears and I am hoping for a shootout in the Lions-49ers game to help my fantasy team. I've hitched my wagon firmly to J.T. O'Sullivan this week.
Okay, that was the moment right there. The moment I finally started to panic about my fantasy team(s). I was wondering when that was going to happen.
* I am expecting Michigan State to destroy Notre Dame on Saturday but for some reason I didn't bet it. In other words, Michigan State will be winning that game by 20+.
* The blog has many (dumb) future bets in college football and will be facing some crucial games this weekend. My Georgia 'Under' 10.5 ticket would be looking downright cashable if the Bulldogs lose on Saturday night at Arizona State. The blog will be watching that game very closely. My Florida State 'Over' 6.5 ticket faces its first real game on Saturday, as the Seminoles host the Demon Deacons of Wake Forest. That should be a close game but I expect the 'Noles to pull it out.
* I wanted to bet Virginia Tech at UNC on Saturday but my ACC guys talked me out of it. I hope you kids know what you're talking about. I sure as hell don't. One of my ACC guys writes this article for PlanetBlacksburg.com. Nobody likes a jokester, Andy. My other ACC guy spends too much time drinking and going to Chipotle. Maybe I should bet the Hokies after all....
NL East Update: The Nationals had the Mets right where they wanted them last night, as the Nasties trailed 7-1 late in the game. Somehow the Mets held on to open up a 1.5 game lead on the free-falling Brewers in the NL wild card race. Those Fightins' won as well, thanks to a 2 run dinger by "The Babe." The Mets bullpen held on to a lead and Pat Burrell hit a clutch HR? Let's just all pretend that yesterday never happened and move on.
Jeff's IPhone Update: With my new football season hours, I won't be seeing Jeff or the IPhone as much as I would like to. Last night at the Hard Rock, I ran into a (former) "Wiseguy" who informed that he talked to Mr. Sherman on said IPhone and that Jeff advised him to bet the USA in the Ryder Cup, a tip that this ex-runner (Whoops, I mean wiseguy) did not agree with. The USA leads 3-1 after the morning matches. No wonder The Sherman Group is so solid.
Jorgen Update: I had the pleasure of watching last night's WVU-Colorado game with "The Y." Well, he was there for some of the game at least. He had to have dinner with his wife first. One thing I took away from our conversation is that Jorgie is really going to miss working with Chris Bennett. I also couldn't help but notice that he showed up at the Rock sans purse. I hope that my mocking is not what sent the purse into early retirement. How else are you supposed to carry around a Harry Potter novel, hand lotion, and stacks of tickets you bet at bad numbers? Bring the purse back, bro.
Mom Update: There is none. Her latest antics are too much even for the blog. We're only a few years away from me having to move back to Virginia, just so I can take care of her and keep an eye on her. God knows Peter isn't going to do it.
Trivia Question for Friday: Let's keep it Ryder Cup-themed. When was the last time the Americans won the Ryder Cup? Where was it held? And who sunk the dramatic putt on the 17th to halve his match with Jose Maria OlaTHAbal?
Apparently you guys still feel that the Red Sox are the favorites to win the World Series. I'm not so sure any more. Those Rays are feisty. I do think the Angels will choke in the first round, especially if they have to play Boston. If the season ended today, the Phillies and Mets would BOTH make the playoffs. That's all I have to know about the quality of the National League.
New poll, new pictures today.
I'll try to be funnier next time.
Enjoy the game.
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
I'm sure you guys are all
.... eager to hear my thoughts on Monday's exciting NFC East clash between the Eagles and Cowboys. It was exactly the kind of game that Ed's people love: Blown assignments leading to long pass plays, sloppy turnovers leading to easy scores, a bonehead rookie embarassing himself on a national stage, and points, points, and more points.
I hated it.
But I did take a few things away from The Tea Party at Texas Stadium:
* Tony Romo wore that bandage on his chin purely to get sympathy. I will not even listen to any arguments to the contrary.
* DeSean Jackson is an idiot. This is one of the dumbest things I've ever seen a professional athlete do. Absolutely ridiculous. Say what you want about Terrell Owens and Chad Johnson. At least they wait until after they have scored the TD to start celebrating.
* The Cowboys offense is nothing short of awesome. Owens is the best WR in the NFL. Witten is the best TE in the NFL. Barber is one of the best RBs in the NFL. The offensive line is excellent. Jason Garrett has already proven himself to be one of the best playcallers in the league. You could take a lousy QB and put him behind that line and surround him with all those weapons and you'd still have one of the highest scoring offenses in the NFL. And Romo is actually a decent player when he's not doing impossibly stupid things like that fumble in the end zone. The Dallas offense is going to be tough for anyone to slow down, let alone stop.
* Having said all that, how many NFL teams have won the Super Bowl by winning big games 40something to 30something? The Dallas defense, especially the secondary, looks very mediocre. (Although their defensive backfield did get better with the loss of S Roy Williams on Monday night.) The Cowboys will have to start playing defense if they want to win a playoff game this millenium.
* Speaking of Roy Williams, I want to touch on what I thought was the funniest moment of Monday's game. Did you guys see that play in the first half when McNabb threw a deep ball and a #31 for the Cowboys jumped up and made an incredibly athletic play to knock the ball away? I was watching it while I was working and my jaw dropped, as for a moment I actually thought Roy Williams had made a good play in pass coverage for the first time in.... Well.... For the first time in his NFL career. It was then brought to my attention that Roy Williams had relinquished the #31 to rookie corner Mike Jenkins and taken back his old college number of 38. Apparently, Roy is doing this because, in the Bible, the #8 signifies new beginnings.
I find the fact that Roy Williams changed his jersey number and that it was taken by a rookie actually less surprising than the idea that he could have made that play. He is absolutely terrible and the Cowboys secondary will be better off without him. If I was a Cowboys "Fan," I'd be rooting for Roy to not play again this season until the Pro Bowl.
* I still don't know what to make of this Eagles team. Their defense is garbage. Their best WR is a rookie/moron. Their QB could go down at any moment and the team would probably fall apart without #5. As much as I hate the Cowboys and Giants, for now I will rank them both ahead of Philly.
* How about those Philadelphia fans? They have to be the biggest collection of morons this side of your average Las Vegas sports bettors. On Tuesday morning, these dopes were calling in to local radio shows saying that the Eagles need to fire Andy Reid and replace Donovan McNabb. So your team is coming off a 41-37 loss and the answer is to replace your offensive playcaller and your QB? That makes a lot of sense. Typical NFL fanbase. "Our team lost so our QB sucks." God forbid they blame the secondary who got torched by T.O. and company or blame the special teams for giving up the Cowboys first KO return for a TD in 5 years. Let's just get rid of the QB. That will cure all.
* Before I move on from this game, someone please explain to me how/why this comment is offensive. All he said was that he doesn't understand Spanish. People are just too sensitive these days. Tony Kornheiser didn't mean to offend anyone with that comment. But he is an idiot. And he should be fired. Just not because of that comment. He should be fired because he is terrible at his job.
* Josh Howard may be taking over the title of "The Biggest Jackass In Professional Sports." I don't even know what he means by these dopey comments. My advice to the Dallas Mavericks: Trade Howard to the Heat for a 2nd round pick.
No, this has nothing to do with my betting the Heat to win it at all at 150-1 at the Hard Rock. Why do you ask?
* You all wouldn't be here if you didn't enjoy a (sometimes) good blog. Check out this blog authored mainly by Redskins TE Chris Cooley. I had heard before that Cooley's blog was highly entertaining and I enjoyed the entries I read. Apparently, on Sunday, Cooley left a naked picture of himself on the blog while he was at FedEx Field, helping the Redskins to a 29-24 victory over the Saints. The pictured showed a naked Cooley studying the Redskins offensive gameplan.
This is a strange story but how surprising is it really? We all realized that Cooley is a weird guy when this picture of him became public last fall, inspiring a certain jokester to name his fantasy football team "Cooley's Tight End" and use that picture as his team logo. Nobody likes a wiseass.
NL East Update: The Mets are choking like the heartless losers they are. Ryan Howard is homering almost every day like the stud he is.
Some update. It's the same thing practically every time. Howard better be the NL MVP.
Jeff's IPhone Update: The funniest thing I have seen in weeks was the look on Ed's face when Jeff handed him his IPhone so Ed could talk to Matt. Talk about panic. Jeff may as well have handed him a priceless vase. It looked like Ed thought it would just crumble in his hands if he held it the wrong way. Hilarious.
Jorgen Update: We only have a few more weeks before the "Y" ditches us all for the "V." Interesting point brought up by Ross this week: Is Amanda going to be okay with Jorgie working at the Venetian with all the pretty girls they have running around that place? She certainly never had to worry about that while he was working at the SuperBook. The Venetian is just crawling with hotass cocktail waitresses that would presumably be very interested in a kind-hearted, All-American farm boy from Iowa. Be careful, Amanda.
Mom Update: This afternoon she e-mailed my sister (Who was at work) to ask her what my Mom's cell phone number is. You read that right. My Mom asked my sister what her own cell number is.
Don't ask.
Before I end this stupid blog, I want to do a follow up to the whole Sharp/Square/Degenerate thing I wrote the other day. Chris Bennett is the one who got everyone at work started on that nonsense. Apparently, he considers himself a "Sharp sharp." I'm not going to deny that Chris is a sharp; He is. But a sharp sharp? Sorry, bro. I can't give you that one. I'll give you Sharp Scumbag or Scumbag Sharp, whichever you prefer. But a true sharp would have kept his blog going for more than a week.
Trivia Question for Wednesday: Lamont Hamilton was better known as....
(Peter - You are not eligible for this one.)
** Monday's Answer: Christina Applegate's first starring role was as Sue Ellen Crandell in Don't Tell Mom the Babysitter's Dead. Franco got both ends of that while Ross knew the movie title but not the character name.
Well done, guys.
Big Eers game tomorrow night at Colorado, big weekend of football highlighted by the massive Cardinals-Redskins encounter, and of course the Cup boys attack the Miracle Mile in Dover, Delaware on Sunday. What a weekend it's gonna be. I better rest up.
Enjoy the game.
I hated it.
But I did take a few things away from The Tea Party at Texas Stadium:
* Tony Romo wore that bandage on his chin purely to get sympathy. I will not even listen to any arguments to the contrary.
* DeSean Jackson is an idiot. This is one of the dumbest things I've ever seen a professional athlete do. Absolutely ridiculous. Say what you want about Terrell Owens and Chad Johnson. At least they wait until after they have scored the TD to start celebrating.
* The Cowboys offense is nothing short of awesome. Owens is the best WR in the NFL. Witten is the best TE in the NFL. Barber is one of the best RBs in the NFL. The offensive line is excellent. Jason Garrett has already proven himself to be one of the best playcallers in the league. You could take a lousy QB and put him behind that line and surround him with all those weapons and you'd still have one of the highest scoring offenses in the NFL. And Romo is actually a decent player when he's not doing impossibly stupid things like that fumble in the end zone. The Dallas offense is going to be tough for anyone to slow down, let alone stop.
* Having said all that, how many NFL teams have won the Super Bowl by winning big games 40something to 30something? The Dallas defense, especially the secondary, looks very mediocre. (Although their defensive backfield did get better with the loss of S Roy Williams on Monday night.) The Cowboys will have to start playing defense if they want to win a playoff game this millenium.
* Speaking of Roy Williams, I want to touch on what I thought was the funniest moment of Monday's game. Did you guys see that play in the first half when McNabb threw a deep ball and a #31 for the Cowboys jumped up and made an incredibly athletic play to knock the ball away? I was watching it while I was working and my jaw dropped, as for a moment I actually thought Roy Williams had made a good play in pass coverage for the first time in.... Well.... For the first time in his NFL career. It was then brought to my attention that Roy Williams had relinquished the #31 to rookie corner Mike Jenkins and taken back his old college number of 38. Apparently, Roy is doing this because, in the Bible, the #8 signifies new beginnings.
I find the fact that Roy Williams changed his jersey number and that it was taken by a rookie actually less surprising than the idea that he could have made that play. He is absolutely terrible and the Cowboys secondary will be better off without him. If I was a Cowboys "Fan," I'd be rooting for Roy to not play again this season until the Pro Bowl.
* I still don't know what to make of this Eagles team. Their defense is garbage. Their best WR is a rookie/moron. Their QB could go down at any moment and the team would probably fall apart without #5. As much as I hate the Cowboys and Giants, for now I will rank them both ahead of Philly.
* How about those Philadelphia fans? They have to be the biggest collection of morons this side of your average Las Vegas sports bettors. On Tuesday morning, these dopes were calling in to local radio shows saying that the Eagles need to fire Andy Reid and replace Donovan McNabb. So your team is coming off a 41-37 loss and the answer is to replace your offensive playcaller and your QB? That makes a lot of sense. Typical NFL fanbase. "Our team lost so our QB sucks." God forbid they blame the secondary who got torched by T.O. and company or blame the special teams for giving up the Cowboys first KO return for a TD in 5 years. Let's just get rid of the QB. That will cure all.
* Before I move on from this game, someone please explain to me how/why this comment is offensive. All he said was that he doesn't understand Spanish. People are just too sensitive these days. Tony Kornheiser didn't mean to offend anyone with that comment. But he is an idiot. And he should be fired. Just not because of that comment. He should be fired because he is terrible at his job.
* Josh Howard may be taking over the title of "The Biggest Jackass In Professional Sports." I don't even know what he means by these dopey comments. My advice to the Dallas Mavericks: Trade Howard to the Heat for a 2nd round pick.
No, this has nothing to do with my betting the Heat to win it at all at 150-1 at the Hard Rock. Why do you ask?
* You all wouldn't be here if you didn't enjoy a (sometimes) good blog. Check out this blog authored mainly by Redskins TE Chris Cooley. I had heard before that Cooley's blog was highly entertaining and I enjoyed the entries I read. Apparently, on Sunday, Cooley left a naked picture of himself on the blog while he was at FedEx Field, helping the Redskins to a 29-24 victory over the Saints. The pictured showed a naked Cooley studying the Redskins offensive gameplan.
This is a strange story but how surprising is it really? We all realized that Cooley is a weird guy when this picture of him became public last fall, inspiring a certain jokester to name his fantasy football team "Cooley's Tight End" and use that picture as his team logo. Nobody likes a wiseass.
NL East Update: The Mets are choking like the heartless losers they are. Ryan Howard is homering almost every day like the stud he is.
Some update. It's the same thing practically every time. Howard better be the NL MVP.
Jeff's IPhone Update: The funniest thing I have seen in weeks was the look on Ed's face when Jeff handed him his IPhone so Ed could talk to Matt. Talk about panic. Jeff may as well have handed him a priceless vase. It looked like Ed thought it would just crumble in his hands if he held it the wrong way. Hilarious.
Jorgen Update: We only have a few more weeks before the "Y" ditches us all for the "V." Interesting point brought up by Ross this week: Is Amanda going to be okay with Jorgie working at the Venetian with all the pretty girls they have running around that place? She certainly never had to worry about that while he was working at the SuperBook. The Venetian is just crawling with hotass cocktail waitresses that would presumably be very interested in a kind-hearted, All-American farm boy from Iowa. Be careful, Amanda.
Mom Update: This afternoon she e-mailed my sister (Who was at work) to ask her what my Mom's cell phone number is. You read that right. My Mom asked my sister what her own cell number is.
Don't ask.
Before I end this stupid blog, I want to do a follow up to the whole Sharp/Square/Degenerate thing I wrote the other day. Chris Bennett is the one who got everyone at work started on that nonsense. Apparently, he considers himself a "Sharp sharp." I'm not going to deny that Chris is a sharp; He is. But a sharp sharp? Sorry, bro. I can't give you that one. I'll give you Sharp Scumbag or Scumbag Sharp, whichever you prefer. But a true sharp would have kept his blog going for more than a week.
Trivia Question for Wednesday: Lamont Hamilton was better known as....
(Peter - You are not eligible for this one.)
** Monday's Answer: Christina Applegate's first starring role was as Sue Ellen Crandell in Don't Tell Mom the Babysitter's Dead. Franco got both ends of that while Ross knew the movie title but not the character name.
Well done, guys.
Big Eers game tomorrow night at Colorado, big weekend of football highlighted by the massive Cardinals-Redskins encounter, and of course the Cup boys attack the Miracle Mile in Dover, Delaware on Sunday. What a weekend it's gonna be. I better rest up.
Enjoy the game.
Monday, September 15, 2008
24-36, 321 Yards, 1 TD, 0 INT
.... and a 29-24 victory over the New Orleans Saints sealed with a 67 yard TD pass to Santana Moss in the 4th quarter. Pretty good day for Redskins QB Jason Campbell, who as recently as last week was being called "One of the three worst QBs in the NFL" by some of my esteemed colleagues. Today, after one good game against a secondary that was missing two starters (And isn't very good to begin with) I've been reading articles about how Campbell's transforming the Redskins under new head coach Jim Zorn.
What's my point? I don't have one really. I just wanted to brag about the Redskins actually winning a game. But if I did have a point it would probably be that in today's world where any moron can start a blog and talking heads are all over the TV spewing their uninformed opinions, people waaaaay overreact to every week, every game, every play. Campbell is not as good as he looked against the Saints but he's also not nearly as bad as he looked against the Giants. It's a long season. What happened against the Saints (And what happened against the Giants for that matter) will have no effect on this week's game against the Arizona Cardinals.
Look at Denver QB Jay Cutler. He's been carving the league up the first two weeks of the season and people are acting like the torch has finally been passed from John Elway to the new star of the Broncos. I'll admit that his numbers have been off-the-charts impressive through 2 weeks but take a closer look at the end of the Broncos game yesterday against the Chargers.
1) With the Broncos inside the Chargers 10 yard line and clinging to a 31-30 lead late in the 4th quarter, Cutler threw a terrible pick right to Chargers rookie corner Antoine Cason in the end zone.
2) After the Chargers scored to go ahead 38-31, the Broncos again found themselves inside the San Diego 10. This time Cutler rolled to his right and fumbled the ball away without being touched in a play that should've ended the game and left both teams at 1-1. Instead, an inexcusable officiating gaffe by Ed Hochuli kept the game going and to his credit Cutler took advantage by throwing for a TD and a game winning 2 point conversion.
My point is that right now Cutler's being praised as a hero and the NFL's next great QB. However, if you reverse just one (terrible) call, Cutler is the QB of a 1-1 team with a win over the Raiders and a home loss within their own division against their biggest competitors. And he'd be the goat for having turned it over twice in the final minutes. There is just such a fine line between good and bad in this league. So be careful not to "Pull a Chad" and overreact to every little thing.
Interesting phone call from one of my.... How do I put this delicately.... Idiotic asshole readers this morning who asked me what I thought of the Chargers-Broncos game and specifically that infamous Cutler fumble. What do you think I thought, guy? There's a word for people like you. No, not instigators. I was thinking jackasses. Obviously, we all agree that Cutler fumbled the ball and the game should have ended on that play. However, the ref had blown his whistle blowing the play dead because he thought it was an incomplete pass. The ref immediately admitted his mistake but that was the ruling and we all have to live with it.
But here's the part that really grinds my gears: It doesn't matter if Cutler's arm was going forward or not. Even if that was a "Pass" the ball went backwards and therefore is a live ball. Attempted pass or not, it's a fumble either way. And Hochuli just completely blew it. He blew it so badly that he admitted to it right on the field and now the NFL is considering changing the rule regarding inadvertent whistles. I don't know what's more inexcusable: That call or that the Broncos first TD was set up by a highly questionable fumble play that the Chargers wanted to review but couldn't because there were "Technical difficulties" with the replay equipment. That whole game just stinks.
So that's what I think of the game, stretch. Wipe that smirk off your goofy face.
There's several other perspectives on the end of that game, too:
- Sharp-Sharps call it a series of variances. And they are already looking ahead to next week.
- Sharp-Squares call it garbage.
- Square-Sharps call it bullshit.
- Square-Squares would have hit 4 out of 6 on their parlay without that call.
- Sharp-Degenerates are calling their phone accounts to double down on the Sunday night game.
- Degenerate-Sharps had it in enough teasers to offest the parlay losses.
- Square-Degenerates didn't even notice. They were too pissed that all their moneyline parlays went up in flames thanks to the Seahawks.
- Degenerate-Squares are sifting through their parlay cards to see which ones had the Broncos.
- Degenerate-Degenerates weren't even watching the game. They're just asking you for a dollar to tip the waitress.
- And Austin is frantically trying to come up with a way to justify the calls before realizing that it's pointless and deciding to just stand there with a very content smirk on his face.
I wish the Redskins could get a win like that. I wouldn't feel guilty about it at all.
Whatever you want to call it, that nonsense made me go from losing (minimal) juice to a bad weekend at 1-3. Couple that with a disappointing Cup race and this was one really crappy weekend.
That reminds me: How would you guys feel about membership fees to read the blog?
Dude, don't close your computer. I was just throwing that out there. Relax.
NL East Update: The Mets bullpen blew their brains in once again. It's honestly a joke how bad they are. They could lose any lead in any game to any opponent. Ryan Howard hit another crucial HR to lead the Phillies to victory.
I should just start copying and pasting these things.
Jeff IPhone Update: I haven't seen him in a few days but he did call me on Saturday to ask me where I had saved something. When I took a second to think about what I had done with it, he immediately jumped down my throat asking if I had done it all. Can you believe this guy?
Yeah, I did it, Jeff. I just forgot exactly where it was.
Did you do your Italian homework?
Jorgen Update: We only have a few more weeks with Iowa's favorite son before he starts at the Venetian. He's going to be able to afford a much fancier man purse.
(I hadn't mentioned the purse in a while and some of my readers enjoy that kind of stuff. I know, I know. They're idiots.)
After Reggie Bush returned a (terrible) Durant Brooks punt for a TD and waved his finger at the punter as he crossed the goal line, my brother sent me a text message saying he hopes Bush blows out his knee this season. Count me in on that.
And let's root for several players to meet the same fate as Notre Dame Head Coach Charlie Weis tonight as the Philadelphia Eagles and Dallas Cowboys get together for the Tea Party at Texas Stadium.
There's a scene in an episode of The Simpsons in which the family is at a horse track and Marge goes up to the window to make a bet. When she gets to the front of the line, she starts to panic and asks the teller if she can just bet on all the horses to have a good time. The teller then points to a line labeled "Wuss Bets" in which several characters, including Principal Seymour Skinner, are already standing.
Just a wuss bet for me tonight. I'll be rooting for everyone to have a bad time.
Trivia Question for Monday: What was Christine Applegate's first starring movie role? For bonus points - What was her character's name?
I'd like to ask a certain Virginia reader who claims that this movie helped to "Define his childhood" to please restrain from answering this one.
And seek help.
New poll, new pictures today. The majority of people felt that "The Kids" would miss Jorgen more than anyone. However, this poll was not a fact-finding mission. I already knew the answer.
The correct answer is Ed.
Enjoy the game.
What's my point? I don't have one really. I just wanted to brag about the Redskins actually winning a game. But if I did have a point it would probably be that in today's world where any moron can start a blog and talking heads are all over the TV spewing their uninformed opinions, people waaaaay overreact to every week, every game, every play. Campbell is not as good as he looked against the Saints but he's also not nearly as bad as he looked against the Giants. It's a long season. What happened against the Saints (And what happened against the Giants for that matter) will have no effect on this week's game against the Arizona Cardinals.
Look at Denver QB Jay Cutler. He's been carving the league up the first two weeks of the season and people are acting like the torch has finally been passed from John Elway to the new star of the Broncos. I'll admit that his numbers have been off-the-charts impressive through 2 weeks but take a closer look at the end of the Broncos game yesterday against the Chargers.
1) With the Broncos inside the Chargers 10 yard line and clinging to a 31-30 lead late in the 4th quarter, Cutler threw a terrible pick right to Chargers rookie corner Antoine Cason in the end zone.
2) After the Chargers scored to go ahead 38-31, the Broncos again found themselves inside the San Diego 10. This time Cutler rolled to his right and fumbled the ball away without being touched in a play that should've ended the game and left both teams at 1-1. Instead, an inexcusable officiating gaffe by Ed Hochuli kept the game going and to his credit Cutler took advantage by throwing for a TD and a game winning 2 point conversion.
My point is that right now Cutler's being praised as a hero and the NFL's next great QB. However, if you reverse just one (terrible) call, Cutler is the QB of a 1-1 team with a win over the Raiders and a home loss within their own division against their biggest competitors. And he'd be the goat for having turned it over twice in the final minutes. There is just such a fine line between good and bad in this league. So be careful not to "Pull a Chad" and overreact to every little thing.
Interesting phone call from one of my.... How do I put this delicately.... Idiotic asshole readers this morning who asked me what I thought of the Chargers-Broncos game and specifically that infamous Cutler fumble. What do you think I thought, guy? There's a word for people like you. No, not instigators. I was thinking jackasses. Obviously, we all agree that Cutler fumbled the ball and the game should have ended on that play. However, the ref had blown his whistle blowing the play dead because he thought it was an incomplete pass. The ref immediately admitted his mistake but that was the ruling and we all have to live with it.
But here's the part that really grinds my gears: It doesn't matter if Cutler's arm was going forward or not. Even if that was a "Pass" the ball went backwards and therefore is a live ball. Attempted pass or not, it's a fumble either way. And Hochuli just completely blew it. He blew it so badly that he admitted to it right on the field and now the NFL is considering changing the rule regarding inadvertent whistles. I don't know what's more inexcusable: That call or that the Broncos first TD was set up by a highly questionable fumble play that the Chargers wanted to review but couldn't because there were "Technical difficulties" with the replay equipment. That whole game just stinks.
So that's what I think of the game, stretch. Wipe that smirk off your goofy face.
There's several other perspectives on the end of that game, too:
- Sharp-Sharps call it a series of variances. And they are already looking ahead to next week.
- Sharp-Squares call it garbage.
- Square-Sharps call it bullshit.
- Square-Squares would have hit 4 out of 6 on their parlay without that call.
- Sharp-Degenerates are calling their phone accounts to double down on the Sunday night game.
- Degenerate-Sharps had it in enough teasers to offest the parlay losses.
- Square-Degenerates didn't even notice. They were too pissed that all their moneyline parlays went up in flames thanks to the Seahawks.
- Degenerate-Squares are sifting through their parlay cards to see which ones had the Broncos.
- Degenerate-Degenerates weren't even watching the game. They're just asking you for a dollar to tip the waitress.
- And Austin is frantically trying to come up with a way to justify the calls before realizing that it's pointless and deciding to just stand there with a very content smirk on his face.
I wish the Redskins could get a win like that. I wouldn't feel guilty about it at all.
Whatever you want to call it, that nonsense made me go from losing (minimal) juice to a bad weekend at 1-3. Couple that with a disappointing Cup race and this was one really crappy weekend.
That reminds me: How would you guys feel about membership fees to read the blog?
Dude, don't close your computer. I was just throwing that out there. Relax.
NL East Update: The Mets bullpen blew their brains in once again. It's honestly a joke how bad they are. They could lose any lead in any game to any opponent. Ryan Howard hit another crucial HR to lead the Phillies to victory.
I should just start copying and pasting these things.
Jeff IPhone Update: I haven't seen him in a few days but he did call me on Saturday to ask me where I had saved something. When I took a second to think about what I had done with it, he immediately jumped down my throat asking if I had done it all. Can you believe this guy?
Yeah, I did it, Jeff. I just forgot exactly where it was.
Did you do your Italian homework?
Jorgen Update: We only have a few more weeks with Iowa's favorite son before he starts at the Venetian. He's going to be able to afford a much fancier man purse.
(I hadn't mentioned the purse in a while and some of my readers enjoy that kind of stuff. I know, I know. They're idiots.)
After Reggie Bush returned a (terrible) Durant Brooks punt for a TD and waved his finger at the punter as he crossed the goal line, my brother sent me a text message saying he hopes Bush blows out his knee this season. Count me in on that.
And let's root for several players to meet the same fate as Notre Dame Head Coach Charlie Weis tonight as the Philadelphia Eagles and Dallas Cowboys get together for the Tea Party at Texas Stadium.
There's a scene in an episode of The Simpsons in which the family is at a horse track and Marge goes up to the window to make a bet. When she gets to the front of the line, she starts to panic and asks the teller if she can just bet on all the horses to have a good time. The teller then points to a line labeled "Wuss Bets" in which several characters, including Principal Seymour Skinner, are already standing.
Just a wuss bet for me tonight. I'll be rooting for everyone to have a bad time.
Trivia Question for Monday: What was Christine Applegate's first starring movie role? For bonus points - What was her character's name?
I'd like to ask a certain Virginia reader who claims that this movie helped to "Define his childhood" to please restrain from answering this one.
And seek help.
New poll, new pictures today. The majority of people felt that "The Kids" would miss Jorgen more than anyone. However, this poll was not a fact-finding mission. I already knew the answer.
The correct answer is Ed.
Enjoy the game.
Sunday, September 14, 2008
Days like Saturday
.... remind me how much of an idiot I am. Fortunately for me, I only made one wager because if I had bet more I just would've lost more.
Notre Dame looked pretty good yesterday. If they can get every opponent to completely giftwrap each game with terrible turnovers, the Irish may end up in a BCS bowl.
Yesterday: 0-1, -$202
Year to Date: 7-6, +$216
(204) St Louis Rams +8 (-105) vs. New York Giants
This is what happens when you panic out a bet on Sunday night without remembering that people will almost always bet on the better team.
(213) New England Patriots +2.5 (-101) @ New York Jets
I'm on record: If the Patriots don't win this game, I will admit that I know absolutely nothing about the NFL.
(217) San Diego Chagers -1 (-101) @ Denver Broncos
This line seems like a crazy overreaction to me. There's no way the Chargers should have lost to the Panthers last weekend and thus far all the Broncos have done is beat a team whose coach may have been trying to lose just to stick it to Al Davis. I don't see San Diego starting 0-2.
3 bets today and all I want to watch is the Redskins game and the Cup race. Go figure.
Enjoy the day.
Notre Dame looked pretty good yesterday. If they can get every opponent to completely giftwrap each game with terrible turnovers, the Irish may end up in a BCS bowl.
Yesterday: 0-1, -$202
Year to Date: 7-6, +$216
(204) St Louis Rams +8 (-105) vs. New York Giants
This is what happens when you panic out a bet on Sunday night without remembering that people will almost always bet on the better team.
(213) New England Patriots +2.5 (-101) @ New York Jets
I'm on record: If the Patriots don't win this game, I will admit that I know absolutely nothing about the NFL.
(217) San Diego Chagers -1 (-101) @ Denver Broncos
This line seems like a crazy overreaction to me. There's no way the Chargers should have lost to the Panthers last weekend and thus far all the Broncos have done is beat a team whose coach may have been trying to lose just to stick it to Al Davis. I don't see San Diego starting 0-2.
3 bets today and all I want to watch is the Redskins game and the Cup race. Go figure.
Enjoy the day.
Saturday, September 13, 2008
If I know our kids
.... half of them will be on USC without even caring what the spread is and the other half will take Ohio State moneyline because they are greedy bastards. When I look at that game, I honestly don't see any way the Buckeyes can hang with the Trojans. In case you hadn't heard, speedy teams from outside the Big Ten have had decent success against Ohio State in recent years. It sure looks like this game is going to be a blowout, especially with Ohio State's star RB Beanie Wells ruled out of the "Collision."
But sports gambling is never that easy. Everything sets up for USC to destroy Ohio State tonight. (It looks so easy and so obvious that even CJack is calling it a lock.) The blog would not advise laying the points in this game but I will consider playing the Trojans on the moneyline if the kids really do hammer Ohio State moneyline and move it the other way. It wouldn't surprise me one bit to see the Buckeyes hang in there and cover the double digit spread. But Jim Tressel winning a big game like this? Now that would be surprising.
Last Monday: 1-0, +$200
Year to Date: 7-5, +$418
I'm off to a good start in both the pro and college regular seasons but one careless week can wipe that all out. It always does.
(137) Michigan PK (-101) @ Notre Dame
I don't have a whole lot to say about this play other than the fact that every single person whose opinion I trust and is unbiased about this game has told me that I am wrong for betting Michigan. The forecast is calling for rain in South Bend and I say bring it on. I know the Wolverines are going to be running the ball anyway in Rich Rodriguez's spread offense. Let's see Jimmy Clausen throw the ball in poor conditions. Let's see him throw the ball in any conditions. Go Blue.
Week 1 of the Leroy's Challenge saw entry 'Avon Barksdale' produce a 4-3 record (It would've been 5-2 if Urban Meyer wasn't such a "Classless Dirtbag.") 4-3 is pretty good considering that our star capper was in Minnesota at the Republican National Convention, where they apparently didn't have computers. Well, he's back this week and we have bestowed upon him the honor of making 3 of our 7 picks.
Here's what we have in Week 2:
Nevada +26.5 (HM)
UCLA +8.5 (JM)
Purdue +7.5 (GH)
Iowa St +13.5 (HM)
Va Tech -6.5 (GH)
Maryland +14.5 (GH)
Washington +20.5 (JM)
I decided to point out which picks were made by which person. That way whoever does the worst can be openly mocked. (I really hope it's not me.)
Some additional sports thoughts:
* It took a hurricane to prevent Ryan Howard from hitting another home run yesterday. No opposing pitchers could keep him in the park.
In a related story, Howard was spotted being booed for not hitting a home run on Friday while hanging out in a local watering hole that night. Those Philadelphia fans sure are great.
* I don't like the fact that the Ravens-Texans game has been postponed. I'm concerned that my sleeper team will end up with 7 home games the way the Saints did in 2005.
* South Florida beat Kansas last night, 37-34. I'm not really sure how the Bulls pulled it off but they did. Here's what I took away from that game:
- Mark Mangino is a really, really good coach. Other than QB Todd Reesing, Kansas doesn't seem to have any real special players, but in the system Mangino has designed they should be able to give just about anyone a good game.
- That is, unless, of course, Todd Reesing gets hurt. Reesing is undersized and borderline reckless when he leaves the pocket. If he gets hurt, the Venetian may as well pay those of us with Kansas 'Under' tickets.
- The South Florida secondary is really bad. They lost both starting corners from last year's team to the NFL and don't appear to have much left. Let's just say that on a crucial 3rd and 21 late in the 4th quarter, a white WR got wide open down the middle for a 29 yard gain. Yikes. Luckily for the Bulls, there are no good passing attacks in the Big East this year besides their own.
* I always suspected that Kirk Herbstreit was nailing Erin Andrews. New information presented to me by a very reliable source has only confirmed my beliefs. Herbie - You are a lucky guy.
It's also been confirmed that Chris Fowler is a giant douche. Shocker.
* Ricky Reilly was a nice read the other day in ESPN Magazine. (Surprise, surprise.) In this article, he discusses which professional sports franchise rules every major city in America. Gotta disagree with him about Philly. It's not a Phillies town. It's a "Whichever of our Team's Is Having the Best Season" town. Just ask Jimmy Rollins.
I'll be back tomorrow with my NFL picks and a little Sprint Cup chatter.
Enjoy the game.
But sports gambling is never that easy. Everything sets up for USC to destroy Ohio State tonight. (It looks so easy and so obvious that even CJack is calling it a lock.) The blog would not advise laying the points in this game but I will consider playing the Trojans on the moneyline if the kids really do hammer Ohio State moneyline and move it the other way. It wouldn't surprise me one bit to see the Buckeyes hang in there and cover the double digit spread. But Jim Tressel winning a big game like this? Now that would be surprising.
Last Monday: 1-0, +$200
Year to Date: 7-5, +$418
I'm off to a good start in both the pro and college regular seasons but one careless week can wipe that all out. It always does.
(137) Michigan PK (-101) @ Notre Dame
I don't have a whole lot to say about this play other than the fact that every single person whose opinion I trust and is unbiased about this game has told me that I am wrong for betting Michigan. The forecast is calling for rain in South Bend and I say bring it on. I know the Wolverines are going to be running the ball anyway in Rich Rodriguez's spread offense. Let's see Jimmy Clausen throw the ball in poor conditions. Let's see him throw the ball in any conditions. Go Blue.
Week 1 of the Leroy's Challenge saw entry 'Avon Barksdale' produce a 4-3 record (It would've been 5-2 if Urban Meyer wasn't such a "Classless Dirtbag.") 4-3 is pretty good considering that our star capper was in Minnesota at the Republican National Convention, where they apparently didn't have computers. Well, he's back this week and we have bestowed upon him the honor of making 3 of our 7 picks.
Here's what we have in Week 2:
Nevada +26.5 (HM)
UCLA +8.5 (JM)
Purdue +7.5 (GH)
Iowa St +13.5 (HM)
Va Tech -6.5 (GH)
Maryland +14.5 (GH)
Washington +20.5 (JM)
I decided to point out which picks were made by which person. That way whoever does the worst can be openly mocked. (I really hope it's not me.)
Some additional sports thoughts:
* It took a hurricane to prevent Ryan Howard from hitting another home run yesterday. No opposing pitchers could keep him in the park.
In a related story, Howard was spotted being booed for not hitting a home run on Friday while hanging out in a local watering hole that night. Those Philadelphia fans sure are great.
* I don't like the fact that the Ravens-Texans game has been postponed. I'm concerned that my sleeper team will end up with 7 home games the way the Saints did in 2005.
* South Florida beat Kansas last night, 37-34. I'm not really sure how the Bulls pulled it off but they did. Here's what I took away from that game:
- Mark Mangino is a really, really good coach. Other than QB Todd Reesing, Kansas doesn't seem to have any real special players, but in the system Mangino has designed they should be able to give just about anyone a good game.
- That is, unless, of course, Todd Reesing gets hurt. Reesing is undersized and borderline reckless when he leaves the pocket. If he gets hurt, the Venetian may as well pay those of us with Kansas 'Under' tickets.
- The South Florida secondary is really bad. They lost both starting corners from last year's team to the NFL and don't appear to have much left. Let's just say that on a crucial 3rd and 21 late in the 4th quarter, a white WR got wide open down the middle for a 29 yard gain. Yikes. Luckily for the Bulls, there are no good passing attacks in the Big East this year besides their own.
* I always suspected that Kirk Herbstreit was nailing Erin Andrews. New information presented to me by a very reliable source has only confirmed my beliefs. Herbie - You are a lucky guy.
It's also been confirmed that Chris Fowler is a giant douche. Shocker.
* Ricky Reilly was a nice read the other day in ESPN Magazine. (Surprise, surprise.) In this article, he discusses which professional sports franchise rules every major city in America. Gotta disagree with him about Philly. It's not a Phillies town. It's a "Whichever of our Team's Is Having the Best Season" town. Just ask Jimmy Rollins.
I'll be back tomorrow with my NFL picks and a little Sprint Cup chatter.
Enjoy the game.
Friday, September 12, 2008
Maybe if Ryan Howard hits a
.... home run every time he steps to the plate, Ed's people will finally show him some love. Howard homered in his third straight game last night, leading the Phillies to a crucial 6-3 win over the Brewers. Say what you want about the strikeouts and his mediocre batting average, but the bottom line is that Howard leads the Majors in HR and RBI, while playing for a playoff contender. If the Phillies do manage to sneak into the postseason, how is "The Big Guy" not the NL MVP for the 2nd time in 3 years?
Here are some interesting numbers I dug up on #6:
* Howard has 23 HRs at home and 20 HRs on the road, putting to rest the ridiculous notion that he is merely a product of the Phillies hitter friendly ballpark. He hits the ball out of any park.
* Howard is hitting .303, with 10 HRs and 79 RBI with RISP.
* He's hitting .310 with RISP and 2 outs. Seems like a clutch situation to me.
* He's hitting .304 with 10 HRs and 46 RBI with men on base and 2 out. Another clutch situation.
* Howard's worst hitting numbers come when the bases are empty. He's hitting just .194 with the bases empty, whereas his batting average jumps up to .289 when his teammates get on base in front of him. In other words, Howard rises to the rare occasions when teammates like TGCU actually do their jobs and set the table for him.
What I'm trying to say is that all these (racist) Phillies fans need to get off Ryan's back, while he tries to carry his loser teammates back to the playoffs.
* It was recently brough to the blog's attention that LeBron James grew up a "Fan" of the Yankees, Cowboys, and Bulls. In Akron, Ohio. This guy's like a young Austin. Only worse. Much worse.
* I'll estimate that approximately 75% of Cowboys "Fans" are people who didn't really have an NFL team to follow so at some point decided, "Well, I don't have an NFL team to cheer for but I'd like to. I'll just root for the Cowboys." Whenever Dallas sucks, these people don't make a peep but when the Cowboys are good, they come out of the woodwork to support "Their" team. If Howard Eskin is right about anything, he's right about calling Cowboys fans "Cock-a-roaches." Easily the worst fan base in professional sports.
* The blog's take on the Beanie Wells situation is simple: Don't play him. Ohio State will most likely get run off the field by USC tomorrow night with or without their star running back and they are going to need him at 100% to navigate the brutal Big 10 sched.... Couldn't even get that one out.... Seriously, even if they lose to USC tomorrow night they will have as good a chance as any of being one of the two names pulled out of the BSC hat, as long as they run the table in conference play.
No, this has nothing to do with my Ohio State to win the Big 10 at Even money bet at Planet Hollywood. Why do you ask?
* Remember a few years ago when Miami (FL), Virginia Tech, and later Boston College all left the Big East to join the ACC and turn it into a 12 team mega-conference complete with a championship game? Well, I was student at West Virginia at the time and we had to hear from everyone about how bad the Big East was going to be without the Canes and Hokies and listen to public speculation over whether the Big East was still worthy of an automatic BCS bid. Since then, the Big East has gone a perfect 3-0 in BCS Bowls (WVU over Georgia in the Sugar Bowl, Louisville over Wake Forest in the Orange Bowl, and WVU over Oklahoma in the Fiesta Bowl. All three teams also covered but whose counting?) while the ACC has gone 0-3 in the BCS.
Big East fans have enjoyed this very much and are quick to point out that our conference has greatly surpassed expectations. Until this year. WVU looks lost without RichRod and could be in for a long year. Louisville hasn't recovered from losing that scumbag Bobby Petrino to the NFL for a few weeks. Rutgers may have been a flash-in-the-pan program. I wonder if Greg Schiano wishes he had taken that Miami (FL) job while he had the chance? Pittsburgh is still coached by Dave Wannstedt. And he's still an idiot. South Florida may be the Big East's only hope in 2008. I'll definitely be rooting for them to hand it to Kansas tonight in Tampa.
No, this has nothing to do with my Kansas Under 8.5 bet at the Venetian. Why do you ask?
* The Saints have ruled out starters S Roman Harper, LB Scott Fujita, and CB Randall Gay for Sunday's Frolic at FedEx Field. Add those three to a growing list that already included starting WR Marques Colston and the now released DT Hollis Thomas. I know it's only Week 2 but if the Redskins can't win this game, at home, with three extra days to prepare, against a Saints team missing about 1/4 of their starting lineup, it is definitely time to hit the panic button.
* One thing I hate about being a fan in the NFC East is having to watch games between two of the other teams. For instance, on Monday night I'm sure I'll be rooting for the Eagles to beat the Cowboys even though I really don't want to. I hate rooting for the Eagles. I can't stand that team, their terrible, bitter fans, or DeMatha product Brian Westbrook. I don't want to root for the Eagles.
Maybe I'll just root for everyone to have a bad time.
And for several Cowboys players to be carted off the field.
* If I were to rank the NFC East teams in order of how much I hate them, it would go like this:
1. Cowboys
(Pause for effect)
2. Giants
3. Eagles
Cowboys at #1 is a no brainer. The Giants are ahead of the Eagles and always have been and I think it's because during my formative years as a football fan the Eagles were such a completely inconsequential loser franchise. From Buddy Ryan to Rich Kotite to Ray Rhodes, they were just utterly irrelevant. I remember them making the playoffs once with Ricky Watters and crushing the Lions in a wild card game but they were never really any good.
Plus, I just truly feel sorry for their bitter, bitter goombah fanbase.
(Don't worry. I can say goombah. I'm half-Italian.)
Maybe someday you guys will see a real football world championship in Philly.
(But I doubt it.)
With every day that passes, I feel worse and worse about my football bets for this weekend.
What did I do with that panic button?
Trivia Question for Friday: Name the player(s) in Major League history with more home runs in their first 1,000 career at bats than Ryan Howard.
Wednesday's answer: Colston went to Hofstra. Too easy.
If you thought today's blog felt like it was rambling and forced out then you are a very perceptive person. It was extremely forced out. I woke up this morning to watch Sprint Cup practice and qualifying and it's raining in New Hampshire. So I blogged.
Rain in New Hampshire during a Cup race.... I gotta go. I'm having terrible flashbacks.
Enjoy the game.
Here are some interesting numbers I dug up on #6:
* Howard has 23 HRs at home and 20 HRs on the road, putting to rest the ridiculous notion that he is merely a product of the Phillies hitter friendly ballpark. He hits the ball out of any park.
* Howard is hitting .303, with 10 HRs and 79 RBI with RISP.
* He's hitting .310 with RISP and 2 outs. Seems like a clutch situation to me.
* He's hitting .304 with 10 HRs and 46 RBI with men on base and 2 out. Another clutch situation.
* Howard's worst hitting numbers come when the bases are empty. He's hitting just .194 with the bases empty, whereas his batting average jumps up to .289 when his teammates get on base in front of him. In other words, Howard rises to the rare occasions when teammates like TGCU actually do their jobs and set the table for him.
What I'm trying to say is that all these (racist) Phillies fans need to get off Ryan's back, while he tries to carry his loser teammates back to the playoffs.
* It was recently brough to the blog's attention that LeBron James grew up a "Fan" of the Yankees, Cowboys, and Bulls. In Akron, Ohio. This guy's like a young Austin. Only worse. Much worse.
* I'll estimate that approximately 75% of Cowboys "Fans" are people who didn't really have an NFL team to follow so at some point decided, "Well, I don't have an NFL team to cheer for but I'd like to. I'll just root for the Cowboys." Whenever Dallas sucks, these people don't make a peep but when the Cowboys are good, they come out of the woodwork to support "Their" team. If Howard Eskin is right about anything, he's right about calling Cowboys fans "Cock-a-roaches." Easily the worst fan base in professional sports.
* The blog's take on the Beanie Wells situation is simple: Don't play him. Ohio State will most likely get run off the field by USC tomorrow night with or without their star running back and they are going to need him at 100% to navigate the brutal Big 10 sched.... Couldn't even get that one out.... Seriously, even if they lose to USC tomorrow night they will have as good a chance as any of being one of the two names pulled out of the BSC hat, as long as they run the table in conference play.
No, this has nothing to do with my Ohio State to win the Big 10 at Even money bet at Planet Hollywood. Why do you ask?
* Remember a few years ago when Miami (FL), Virginia Tech, and later Boston College all left the Big East to join the ACC and turn it into a 12 team mega-conference complete with a championship game? Well, I was student at West Virginia at the time and we had to hear from everyone about how bad the Big East was going to be without the Canes and Hokies and listen to public speculation over whether the Big East was still worthy of an automatic BCS bid. Since then, the Big East has gone a perfect 3-0 in BCS Bowls (WVU over Georgia in the Sugar Bowl, Louisville over Wake Forest in the Orange Bowl, and WVU over Oklahoma in the Fiesta Bowl. All three teams also covered but whose counting?) while the ACC has gone 0-3 in the BCS.
Big East fans have enjoyed this very much and are quick to point out that our conference has greatly surpassed expectations. Until this year. WVU looks lost without RichRod and could be in for a long year. Louisville hasn't recovered from losing that scumbag Bobby Petrino to the NFL for a few weeks. Rutgers may have been a flash-in-the-pan program. I wonder if Greg Schiano wishes he had taken that Miami (FL) job while he had the chance? Pittsburgh is still coached by Dave Wannstedt. And he's still an idiot. South Florida may be the Big East's only hope in 2008. I'll definitely be rooting for them to hand it to Kansas tonight in Tampa.
No, this has nothing to do with my Kansas Under 8.5 bet at the Venetian. Why do you ask?
* The Saints have ruled out starters S Roman Harper, LB Scott Fujita, and CB Randall Gay for Sunday's Frolic at FedEx Field. Add those three to a growing list that already included starting WR Marques Colston and the now released DT Hollis Thomas. I know it's only Week 2 but if the Redskins can't win this game, at home, with three extra days to prepare, against a Saints team missing about 1/4 of their starting lineup, it is definitely time to hit the panic button.
* One thing I hate about being a fan in the NFC East is having to watch games between two of the other teams. For instance, on Monday night I'm sure I'll be rooting for the Eagles to beat the Cowboys even though I really don't want to. I hate rooting for the Eagles. I can't stand that team, their terrible, bitter fans, or DeMatha product Brian Westbrook. I don't want to root for the Eagles.
Maybe I'll just root for everyone to have a bad time.
And for several Cowboys players to be carted off the field.
* If I were to rank the NFC East teams in order of how much I hate them, it would go like this:
1. Cowboys
(Pause for effect)
2. Giants
3. Eagles
Cowboys at #1 is a no brainer. The Giants are ahead of the Eagles and always have been and I think it's because during my formative years as a football fan the Eagles were such a completely inconsequential loser franchise. From Buddy Ryan to Rich Kotite to Ray Rhodes, they were just utterly irrelevant. I remember them making the playoffs once with Ricky Watters and crushing the Lions in a wild card game but they were never really any good.
Plus, I just truly feel sorry for their bitter, bitter goombah fanbase.
(Don't worry. I can say goombah. I'm half-Italian.)
Maybe someday you guys will see a real football world championship in Philly.
(But I doubt it.)
With every day that passes, I feel worse and worse about my football bets for this weekend.
What did I do with that panic button?
Trivia Question for Friday: Name the player(s) in Major League history with more home runs in their first 1,000 career at bats than Ryan Howard.
Wednesday's answer: Colston went to Hofstra. Too easy.
If you thought today's blog felt like it was rambling and forced out then you are a very perceptive person. It was extremely forced out. I woke up this morning to watch Sprint Cup practice and qualifying and it's raining in New Hampshire. So I blogged.
Rain in New Hampshire during a Cup race.... I gotta go. I'm having terrible flashbacks.
Enjoy the game.
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
Say what you want about my man
.... Jason Campbell. Say what you want about Matt Leinart. Say what you want about Rex Grossman, Alex Smith, and Tarvaris Jackson. At least they all want to play. Vince Young has been in the NFL for just over 2 seasons and this is already the second time we've had to read about how he may not want to play any more. I don't want to come right out and call VY a pussy, but when I read articles about how he needs "Space, love and support," it's kindof hard not to.
It's very impressive that the Titans are able to field such a quality football team considering how badly they blew Top 10 picks in the 2005 and 2006 NFL Drafts on Pac Man Jones and Vince Young, respectively. Credit their scouting department for unearthing gems like T Michael Roos and S Cortland Finnegan to help offset the way they have wasted their early round picks.
I'm sure Vince Young has a hard job. And I'm sure it sucks being booed all the time by his "Fans." But the guy is being paid millions of dollars to play football. Try receiving paychecks that barely make a ripple in your checking account, while Jeff and Austin are riding you all day. I wish I could get paid millions of dollars to play football for a few years, then retire to Las Vegas to spend half my time gambling on sporting events and the other half giving uninformed opinions on ESPN. (No, I'm not describing anyone imparticular.) Grow a pair, Vince.
Okay, I've picked on that guy enough. I'll do some blurgbs:
* I would like to read an explanation for why Saturday's Ohio State-USC game is being called the "Collision in the Coliseum." What are the qualifications for a game to get a catchy nickname like that? Can we call Sunday's Saints-Redskins game the Frolic at FedEx Field? Perhaps it has to be a big game. That Patriots-Jets game has a lot of storylines. How about the Meeting in the Meadowlands? Eagles-Cowboys is a big game between two (sissy) rivals. Let's call it the Tea Party at Texas Stadium.
What's the over/under on Jessica Simpson jokes/references made by Tony Kornheiser during that broadcast? I'll set it at 6.5 Over -140. And if he references her more than 10 times, I think he should be executed by way of firing squad. (Or just simply fired. Whatever's easier.)
* Speaking of the Frolic at FedEx Field, CJack released the Saints as a play for this weekend. He's a helluva handicapper. The Saints won in Week 1 and the Redskins looked terrible, therefore the Saints are better. This game actually sets up really well for New Orleans. They are coming off a very emotional week in which their city narrowly avoided another natural disaster. Then they escaped with a fortunate win over a division rival. Now they hit the road to play a Redskins team that has three extra days to prepare for the game and will have spent the last 10 days hearing from everyone about how much they suck. Meanwhile, news broke this week that the Saints #1 WR Marques Colston is out for the next 6 weeks and defensive tackle Hollis Thomas is out for the season. Yeah, that "Pick'em" line sure seems like great value.
* I've already shocked most pundits by getting off to a 2-0 start to the NFL regular season and my growing confidence has lead me to bet several games this weekend. I'll be posting all those plays later in the week. (Unless anyone actually cares to know. I mean I can just tell you if you're interested. It's not a big secret or anything. I'm just planning on posting my plays in the blog on the day of the games.)
But I have to warn you: If history is any guide, things may get messy on Sunday.
* The Sierra Mist commercial with the kid who played Pedro in Napoleon Dynamite is one of the worst things I've ever seen. Not just one of the worst commercials or worst televised items. It's one of the worst things I've ever seen. It makes absolutely no sense.
What do you care, guy?
I don't, really. I just want to share this stuff with masses. That's right - All 8 of you.
* I'll be the first to say it - the season premiere of Entourage was great. The last two seasons of that show were very mediocre and I think it was because they had too many episodes with no plot. The thing that made Entourage so great in the first two seasons were storylines that had Vince chasing a new movie, running around in Hollywood, and banging ridiculously hot girls. If the first episode is any indication, we may be seeing a lot more of that in Season 5.
I'm also watching The Hills.
Don't judge me.
* As you all probably know by now, the blog loved this summer's biggest hit film, The Dark Knight. My sources tell me that Johnny Depp has signed on to play the Riddler in the next Batman movie, with Phillip Seymour Hoffman coming on board as The Penguin. I'm a big fan of PSH, who has already delivered two of my favorite movie performances in Boogie Nights and Owning Mahoney. Be sure to check out the latter if you find watching other people struggling with their gambling problems amusing.
NL East Update: The Mets opened up a 7-1 lead at home against the Nationals today but quickly pissed it away, allowing the Nasties to tie them at 7-7. In the bottom of the 7th inning, the Mets scored 4 runs, to open up an 11-7 lead. Then they gave up a 3-run HR to Cristian Guzman to make it 11-10. This is the first two home run game of Guzman's career. There is literally no lead safe with this team. Once the Mets get ahead, they just go on cruise control until the game is over. Fortunately for them, enough of the teams in the NL are inept to the point that they cannot take advantage of the Mets complete lack of focus.
By the way, Ryan Howard hit his 41st HR on Tuesday and his 42nd on Wednesday. That guy really sucks.
Jeff's IPhone Update: One could argue that Jeff's IPhone obsession is ruining his life. Are you aware the he dropped his Italian class because he feels he doesn't have enough time for it? (Translation: There weren't enough hot girls in the class to keep him going every week. I've been there, bro.) It's ridiculous that he doesn't have time for his class but he's still able to spend more time on the phone than a telemarketer. I finally found a way to get Jeff to read my blog - I just text him the URL every time I publish a new one and he can read it on his phone while he's paying his bills, chatting with his fellow group members, and updating GolfOdds.com.
Speaking of his website, Jeff mocked me on Tuesday for the amount of time I spend on my blog. Apparently it only takes him a few minutes to update the odds on his site which is viewed by hundreds of people every day, whereas it takes me a while to type out all this slop that is viewed by half dozens of people every month. Big deal, Jeff. So what if your site has has "Good content?" My site has blurgbs, polls, and stories about Jorgen. Beat that.
Jorgen Update: Brace yourselves. It's the one we all knew was coming but didn't want to ever have to deal with. Jorgie is officially leaving the SuperBook for the comforts of the Venetian. I for one am going to miss the kid known as "The Y." It always amused me how much he hated the kids. But I can promise you this much - I'm not the one who will miss him the most. I can tell you with great certainty that Ed will miss Jorgie. That guy is just obsessed with Iowa. Jeff's going to miss him, too. (Jeff - Don't think I haven't noticed the way you get all quiet every time the topic of Jorgen leaving is addressed. I'm pretty sure you were the one I heard sobbing in the bathroom the day Jorgen put in his two weeks.) As much as Ed and Jeff are going to miss Jorgie, I think Chris Bennett may the one who struggles with this departure the most. Ed and Jeff like Jorgen but the bond between brothers is stronger than any other. Sorry, Chris. You'll get through this, bro. We all will.
My only concern with Jorgen leaving is that I'll lose him (And Amanda) as readers. Now that would hurt.
Trivia Question for Wednesday: Let's do a real easy one. Where did Marques Colston play his college ball?
New poll and pictures today. Apparently, you guys think that Governor Sarah Palin is a "Total babe." Can't argue with that.
Perhaps I'll blog again before Sunday with a preview of the Sprint Cup Chase. I'll finally be able to prove to you all how much I now know about NASCAR.
Don't roll your eyes at me, Chris.
Enjoy the game.
It's very impressive that the Titans are able to field such a quality football team considering how badly they blew Top 10 picks in the 2005 and 2006 NFL Drafts on Pac Man Jones and Vince Young, respectively. Credit their scouting department for unearthing gems like T Michael Roos and S Cortland Finnegan to help offset the way they have wasted their early round picks.
I'm sure Vince Young has a hard job. And I'm sure it sucks being booed all the time by his "Fans." But the guy is being paid millions of dollars to play football. Try receiving paychecks that barely make a ripple in your checking account, while Jeff and Austin are riding you all day. I wish I could get paid millions of dollars to play football for a few years, then retire to Las Vegas to spend half my time gambling on sporting events and the other half giving uninformed opinions on ESPN. (No, I'm not describing anyone imparticular.) Grow a pair, Vince.
Okay, I've picked on that guy enough. I'll do some blurgbs:
* I would like to read an explanation for why Saturday's Ohio State-USC game is being called the "Collision in the Coliseum." What are the qualifications for a game to get a catchy nickname like that? Can we call Sunday's Saints-Redskins game the Frolic at FedEx Field? Perhaps it has to be a big game. That Patriots-Jets game has a lot of storylines. How about the Meeting in the Meadowlands? Eagles-Cowboys is a big game between two (sissy) rivals. Let's call it the Tea Party at Texas Stadium.
What's the over/under on Jessica Simpson jokes/references made by Tony Kornheiser during that broadcast? I'll set it at 6.5 Over -140. And if he references her more than 10 times, I think he should be executed by way of firing squad. (Or just simply fired. Whatever's easier.)
* Speaking of the Frolic at FedEx Field, CJack released the Saints as a play for this weekend. He's a helluva handicapper. The Saints won in Week 1 and the Redskins looked terrible, therefore the Saints are better. This game actually sets up really well for New Orleans. They are coming off a very emotional week in which their city narrowly avoided another natural disaster. Then they escaped with a fortunate win over a division rival. Now they hit the road to play a Redskins team that has three extra days to prepare for the game and will have spent the last 10 days hearing from everyone about how much they suck. Meanwhile, news broke this week that the Saints #1 WR Marques Colston is out for the next 6 weeks and defensive tackle Hollis Thomas is out for the season. Yeah, that "Pick'em" line sure seems like great value.
* I've already shocked most pundits by getting off to a 2-0 start to the NFL regular season and my growing confidence has lead me to bet several games this weekend. I'll be posting all those plays later in the week. (Unless anyone actually cares to know. I mean I can just tell you if you're interested. It's not a big secret or anything. I'm just planning on posting my plays in the blog on the day of the games.)
But I have to warn you: If history is any guide, things may get messy on Sunday.
* The Sierra Mist commercial with the kid who played Pedro in Napoleon Dynamite is one of the worst things I've ever seen. Not just one of the worst commercials or worst televised items. It's one of the worst things I've ever seen. It makes absolutely no sense.
What do you care, guy?
I don't, really. I just want to share this stuff with masses. That's right - All 8 of you.
* I'll be the first to say it - the season premiere of Entourage was great. The last two seasons of that show were very mediocre and I think it was because they had too many episodes with no plot. The thing that made Entourage so great in the first two seasons were storylines that had Vince chasing a new movie, running around in Hollywood, and banging ridiculously hot girls. If the first episode is any indication, we may be seeing a lot more of that in Season 5.
I'm also watching The Hills.
Don't judge me.
* As you all probably know by now, the blog loved this summer's biggest hit film, The Dark Knight. My sources tell me that Johnny Depp has signed on to play the Riddler in the next Batman movie, with Phillip Seymour Hoffman coming on board as The Penguin. I'm a big fan of PSH, who has already delivered two of my favorite movie performances in Boogie Nights and Owning Mahoney. Be sure to check out the latter if you find watching other people struggling with their gambling problems amusing.
NL East Update: The Mets opened up a 7-1 lead at home against the Nationals today but quickly pissed it away, allowing the Nasties to tie them at 7-7. In the bottom of the 7th inning, the Mets scored 4 runs, to open up an 11-7 lead. Then they gave up a 3-run HR to Cristian Guzman to make it 11-10. This is the first two home run game of Guzman's career. There is literally no lead safe with this team. Once the Mets get ahead, they just go on cruise control until the game is over. Fortunately for them, enough of the teams in the NL are inept to the point that they cannot take advantage of the Mets complete lack of focus.
By the way, Ryan Howard hit his 41st HR on Tuesday and his 42nd on Wednesday. That guy really sucks.
Jeff's IPhone Update: One could argue that Jeff's IPhone obsession is ruining his life. Are you aware the he dropped his Italian class because he feels he doesn't have enough time for it? (Translation: There weren't enough hot girls in the class to keep him going every week. I've been there, bro.) It's ridiculous that he doesn't have time for his class but he's still able to spend more time on the phone than a telemarketer. I finally found a way to get Jeff to read my blog - I just text him the URL every time I publish a new one and he can read it on his phone while he's paying his bills, chatting with his fellow group members, and updating GolfOdds.com.
Speaking of his website, Jeff mocked me on Tuesday for the amount of time I spend on my blog. Apparently it only takes him a few minutes to update the odds on his site which is viewed by hundreds of people every day, whereas it takes me a while to type out all this slop that is viewed by half dozens of people every month. Big deal, Jeff. So what if your site has has "Good content?" My site has blurgbs, polls, and stories about Jorgen. Beat that.
Jorgen Update: Brace yourselves. It's the one we all knew was coming but didn't want to ever have to deal with. Jorgie is officially leaving the SuperBook for the comforts of the Venetian. I for one am going to miss the kid known as "The Y." It always amused me how much he hated the kids. But I can promise you this much - I'm not the one who will miss him the most. I can tell you with great certainty that Ed will miss Jorgie. That guy is just obsessed with Iowa. Jeff's going to miss him, too. (Jeff - Don't think I haven't noticed the way you get all quiet every time the topic of Jorgen leaving is addressed. I'm pretty sure you were the one I heard sobbing in the bathroom the day Jorgen put in his two weeks.) As much as Ed and Jeff are going to miss Jorgie, I think Chris Bennett may the one who struggles with this departure the most. Ed and Jeff like Jorgen but the bond between brothers is stronger than any other. Sorry, Chris. You'll get through this, bro. We all will.
My only concern with Jorgen leaving is that I'll lose him (And Amanda) as readers. Now that would hurt.
Trivia Question for Wednesday: Let's do a real easy one. Where did Marques Colston play his college ball?
New poll and pictures today. Apparently, you guys think that Governor Sarah Palin is a "Total babe." Can't argue with that.
Perhaps I'll blog again before Sunday with a preview of the Sprint Cup Chase. I'll finally be able to prove to you all how much I now know about NASCAR.
Don't roll your eyes at me, Chris.
Enjoy the game.
Monday, September 8, 2008
What a great first weekend it was
.... in the NFL. My fantasy teams underperformed and were dealt a blow by an injury to a certain QB. The coin toss in the Bears-Colts game cost me roughly a week's pay. The Cowboys, Eagles, and Giants all won. The Redskins lost. About the only thing that went my way on the gridiron this weekend was the Bills dismantling of the Seahawks. While everyone raves about the Jets and their new QB, Buffalo could be a team to watch in the AFC now that Brady is out. The Bills are solid in all three phases of the game and Trent Edwards looked more than capable on Sunday.
Yesterday: 1-0, +$200
Year to Date: 6-5, +$218
The Bills crushed the Seahawks yesterday. That was actually a good pick by me. First time for everything.
(480) Green Bay Packers -2.5 (-101) vs. Minnesota Vikings
When this line originally came out, I loved the Vikings so much I know that the Packers have to be the right side. We all know Green Bay is replacing their QB but last year's Packers were a lot more than an aging gunslinger behind center. The defense is full of good young players and the offense should be fine without Favre. Vikings LT Bryant McKinnie is suspended for tonight's game which could be a big blow to the Minnesota offense. Green Bay has beat Minnesota four times in a row, including a 34-0 win last season at Lambeau.
* I already made a bet for next weekend. Rams +8 at home against the Giants. Then I woke up and saw the line was at 9 all over town. The way people bet (Good teams must always cover) that line will probably go to 10. Glad I grabbed the 8 last night.
* Houston got waxed yesterday in Pittsburgh. Not a good start for my sleeper team. Although, yesterday was a great start for my Steelers to win the AFC North at +150 wager. Pittsburgh looked great; Cleveland looked terrible.
* Another ticket I have that suddenly looks a lot better: Patriots Under 12.5 wins. That one may be good without Tom Brady at the helm. I hear that Bennett kid has them under 13.5. Must be nice being a sharp.
* Speaking of Bennett, he ripped Saturday's blog saying that it read like something written by Ed. When I asked him to cite one example, he mentioned my "Lajerius" reference. When multiple people backed me up, saying that "Lajerius" is actually a Mike O. original and not an Ed joke, Chris gave nothing else to back up his initial claim. It's a good thing Chris decided to go into the sports gambling industry instead of opting to become a lawyer.
* Question for you (racist) Philadelphia sports fans: If my man Ryan Howard hangs on to lead the Major Leagues in home runs for the second time in three years, will you guys finally get off his back? There's a lot of teams that would love to have a slugger like that in the middle of their order.
* Jorgie told me not to bother coming to work on Sunday because he was going to light it on fire before he left.
I can't wait to get back over there tonight for more "Fun."
The next time Hoffman complains to me about his job, there is a 50/50 chance I will murder him with my bare hands.
Enjoy the double-header.
Yesterday: 1-0, +$200
Year to Date: 6-5, +$218
The Bills crushed the Seahawks yesterday. That was actually a good pick by me. First time for everything.
(480) Green Bay Packers -2.5 (-101) vs. Minnesota Vikings
When this line originally came out, I loved the Vikings so much I know that the Packers have to be the right side. We all know Green Bay is replacing their QB but last year's Packers were a lot more than an aging gunslinger behind center. The defense is full of good young players and the offense should be fine without Favre. Vikings LT Bryant McKinnie is suspended for tonight's game which could be a big blow to the Minnesota offense. Green Bay has beat Minnesota four times in a row, including a 34-0 win last season at Lambeau.
* I already made a bet for next weekend. Rams +8 at home against the Giants. Then I woke up and saw the line was at 9 all over town. The way people bet (Good teams must always cover) that line will probably go to 10. Glad I grabbed the 8 last night.
* Houston got waxed yesterday in Pittsburgh. Not a good start for my sleeper team. Although, yesterday was a great start for my Steelers to win the AFC North at +150 wager. Pittsburgh looked great; Cleveland looked terrible.
* Another ticket I have that suddenly looks a lot better: Patriots Under 12.5 wins. That one may be good without Tom Brady at the helm. I hear that Bennett kid has them under 13.5. Must be nice being a sharp.
* Speaking of Bennett, he ripped Saturday's blog saying that it read like something written by Ed. When I asked him to cite one example, he mentioned my "Lajerius" reference. When multiple people backed me up, saying that "Lajerius" is actually a Mike O. original and not an Ed joke, Chris gave nothing else to back up his initial claim. It's a good thing Chris decided to go into the sports gambling industry instead of opting to become a lawyer.
* Question for you (racist) Philadelphia sports fans: If my man Ryan Howard hangs on to lead the Major Leagues in home runs for the second time in three years, will you guys finally get off his back? There's a lot of teams that would love to have a slugger like that in the middle of their order.
* Jorgie told me not to bother coming to work on Sunday because he was going to light it on fire before he left.
I can't wait to get back over there tonight for more "Fun."
The next time Hoffman complains to me about his job, there is a 50/50 chance I will murder him with my bare hands.
Enjoy the double-header.
Sunday, September 7, 2008
Has anyone ever grown sick
.... of a sport before every team has played their first game? Well, I'm there. Between the Redskins disastrous opening night performance in the Meadowlands and West Virginia's embarrassing mail-in yesterday at East Carolina, I've pretty much had my fill of football for one year. I have friends in Morgantown, friends in Virginia, and my parents and siblings asking me when I'll be coming home for a WVU or Redskins game this fall. I had looked into a few potential games but now I think I'll pass. Why should I spend two months pay to fly back East and watch one of those loser teams? I think I'll just stay out here and be miserable instead.
Yesterday: 0-1, -$202
Year to Date: 5-5, +$18
The only positive from yesterday's game is that I saved $18 by playing it on '101 Wednesdays.' I have no such advantage on this play, and therefore will likely lose the full $220.
(466) Buffalo Bills -1 (-110) vs. Seattle Seahawks
I really like this play. I liked it so much that I bet it way back in April when books were first putting out their NFL Week 1 lines. News that Seahawks QB Matt Hasselbeck is hurting and Bills LT Jason Peters finally ended his holdout should only make this play better.
* The blog is giving it's "Scumbag of the Week" award to Florida Gators Head Coach Urban Meyer for kicking a pointless FG in the final seconds of his team's 26-3 win over Miami (FL) last night to cover the spread. Don't tell me Meyer didn't know what the spread was. Don't tell me he wasn't trying to please the alumni by covering. Look, I know a kid who went to Florida. And he uh, he gambles.
Meyer's classless move cost Leroy's College Challenge entry 'Avon Barksdale' what should have been a 5-2 opening day and we settled for 4-3. Dumbest comment heard last night at the SuperBook (Besides literally every word that came out of Chad's mouth, of course) was by a fellow blogger who said "Well, at least you have 16 weeks to get it back." Since when is the college season as long as the pro one? And if you look at the breakdown of money at the end of the season, one game can make a huge difference. Thanks a lot, Urban.
* What does it say about me that at 1 PM EST/10 AM PST, I won't be watching an NFL game. It's not because I'm stuck with nothing to choose from by the lame 'local' games out here. I had to donate blood in order to afford NFL Sunday Ticket. I would just honestly rather watch the Cup race than watch football right now. That's how bitter I am. You can have Brett Favre, Tom Brady, and the debut of TGDJ. I'll take my chances with Denny Hamlin, Lil Shrub, and, of course, Cousin Carl.
Perhaps I'll flip over to the Texans game during the commercial breaks.
So far, my readers seem to be more interested in Governor Palin's looks than anything else she brings to the table. Why am I not surprised by that?
Enjoy the game(s) today.
Here are a few things the blog will be rooting for:
* The 11 and 99 cars
* Trent Edwards
* Mario Williams
* Every player on the Dallas Cowboys to tear crucial knee ligaments
* The Bears to punt first on Sunday night
* The 18 car in the Nationwide (nee Busch race)
It's all starting. I gotta go.
Enjoy the day.
Yesterday: 0-1, -$202
Year to Date: 5-5, +$18
The only positive from yesterday's game is that I saved $18 by playing it on '101 Wednesdays.' I have no such advantage on this play, and therefore will likely lose the full $220.
(466) Buffalo Bills -1 (-110) vs. Seattle Seahawks
I really like this play. I liked it so much that I bet it way back in April when books were first putting out their NFL Week 1 lines. News that Seahawks QB Matt Hasselbeck is hurting and Bills LT Jason Peters finally ended his holdout should only make this play better.
* The blog is giving it's "Scumbag of the Week" award to Florida Gators Head Coach Urban Meyer for kicking a pointless FG in the final seconds of his team's 26-3 win over Miami (FL) last night to cover the spread. Don't tell me Meyer didn't know what the spread was. Don't tell me he wasn't trying to please the alumni by covering. Look, I know a kid who went to Florida. And he uh, he gambles.
Meyer's classless move cost Leroy's College Challenge entry 'Avon Barksdale' what should have been a 5-2 opening day and we settled for 4-3. Dumbest comment heard last night at the SuperBook (Besides literally every word that came out of Chad's mouth, of course) was by a fellow blogger who said "Well, at least you have 16 weeks to get it back." Since when is the college season as long as the pro one? And if you look at the breakdown of money at the end of the season, one game can make a huge difference. Thanks a lot, Urban.
* What does it say about me that at 1 PM EST/10 AM PST, I won't be watching an NFL game. It's not because I'm stuck with nothing to choose from by the lame 'local' games out here. I had to donate blood in order to afford NFL Sunday Ticket. I would just honestly rather watch the Cup race than watch football right now. That's how bitter I am. You can have Brett Favre, Tom Brady, and the debut of TGDJ. I'll take my chances with Denny Hamlin, Lil Shrub, and, of course, Cousin Carl.
Perhaps I'll flip over to the Texans game during the commercial breaks.
So far, my readers seem to be more interested in Governor Palin's looks than anything else she brings to the table. Why am I not surprised by that?
Enjoy the game(s) today.
Here are a few things the blog will be rooting for:
* The 11 and 99 cars
* Trent Edwards
* Mario Williams
* Every player on the Dallas Cowboys to tear crucial knee ligaments
* The Bears to punt first on Sunday night
* The 18 car in the Nationwide (nee Busch race)
It's all starting. I gotta go.
Enjoy the day.
Saturday, September 6, 2008
It sure didn't take long for
.... this blogger to grow tired of football season. I'd say I was officially sick of America's favorite sport sometime during the first quarter of the Redskins embarassing loss to the Giants on Thursday night. I'm not sure what the official breaking point was. Maybe it was when a Giants player smacked a Redskin in the face mask and the refs inexplicably did not throw a flag. Or perhaps it was when Fred Smoot was called for a completely bogus pass interference penalty in the end zone that gave the Giants the ball at the 1 yard line. At the time I was literally thinking to myself, "Well that sucks but at least Brandon Jacobs (One of the hundreds of fantasy players I have spread across my dozens of teams) will score a TD." Moments later, when Eli Manning outran Jason Taylor to the end zone, I really wanted to switch the channel over to Cable Guy on Starz. But I think what really bothered me the most was that scumbag Al Michaels. He was so excited during the Giants opening touchdown drive that I hear he had to change his shorts at halftime.
I love how everyone wants to point the finger at Jason Campbell for the Redskins loss. Yeah, Campbell looked completely lost playing in his first game in a new system. But he was hardly the only one at fault for that debacle. The offensive line was terrible. Clinton Portis had to fight and claw for every inch he gained. The cornerbacks, Fred Smoot and Carlos Rogers, were both routinely beaten by Plaxico Burress. Carlos Rogers is officially a massive bust. He can't cover an NFL WR one-on-one. The front four couldn't get any pressure on Eli Manning and were gashed by Jacobs on the ground. The new punter looked like a high school kid out there. But mostly I blame that loss on new Head Coach Jim Zorn. He called one of the most unimaginative games I have ever seen. At least that moron Steve Spurrier would take a shot down field from time to time. With his team trailing 16-7, and less than 5 minutes remaining, Zorn was calling for HB traps to Portis and screen passes. Yeah, that's really the quarterback's fault. As bad as Campbell looked on Thursday night, he was hardly the only one to blame.
People are just too stupid to ever look past the QB position at the rest of the team: "Oh, the team lost. Their QB must suck." Believe it or not, there's actually a lot of other players and coaches involved in a football game. And besides, this weekend, Brodie Croyle, Tarvaris Jackson, JaMarcus Russell, Kyle Orton, J.T. O'Sullivan, Joe Flacco, Matt Ryan, Trent Edwards, Matt Schaub, Aaron Rodgers, Jake "Tommy John" Delhomme, Kurt Warner, and the remnants of Chad Pennington's right arm will be starting for NFL teams. I'll continue to take my chances with Jason Campbell. Zorn on the other hand....
Before I move off the topic of the Redskins game, I just want to point out that Brandon Jacobs running over LaRon Landry was nowhere near as impressive as the chip block Clinton Portis had on Mathias Kiwanuka, knocking the DE/LB on his ass. Jacobs had a full head of steam and outweighs Landry by 50some pounds. What did you think was going to happen? A running back pancaking a defensive lineman is much more impressive. But the NBC producers showed the Jacobs-Landry replay about 10 more times so stupid people were amazed by it.
I really did have plans to preview the other NFL divisions I never got to. I even had an interview lined up with a highly respected linesmaker/Philadelphia Eagles SuperFan. However, I am already sick of this league. (Incidentally, if the Redskins had won on Thursday night, I would have to hire an editor to go over everything I wanted to say about the beautiful game of professional football.)
Here's how I rank the rest of the divisions in this stupid league:
NFC East:
1. Cowboys
2. Eagles
3. Giants
4. Redskins
NFC South:
1. Panthers
2. Saints
3. Bucs
4. Falcons
AFC East:
1. Patriots
2. Bills
3. Jets
4. Dolphins
AFC West:
1. Chargers
2. Broncos
3. Raiders
4. Chiefs
In lieu of more formal divisional breakdowns, I will mention some specific NFL future bets I am currently recommending to those of you in the greater Las Vegas area:
* Will the Cleveland Browns make the playoffs? NO -170 (Venetian/Palazzo)
I knew I wanted to play this team 'Under' the total, but decided that playing the 'No' on them making the playoffs was the better value. You can find them Under 8.5 wins but I consider the no postseason option to be the more sensible play, even though it requires laying more juice. Consider that last season the Browns won 10 games and still didn't make the playoffs in the ultra competitive AFC. With a much harder schedule, I don't see any way this team can qualify for the postseason. Brady Quinn will be starting for the Browns by mid-season.
* Ben Roethlisberger TD Passes (-115) vs. Derek Anderson TD Passes (Lucky's)
See what I did there? That's called a segueway. I don't see Anderson making it through this season. On the other hand, Roethlisberger has more weapons this year than ever before. Dumb line.
* LaDainian Tomlinson Rush Yards (-120) vs. Adrian Peterson Rush Yards (Lucky's)
L.T. ran for 1,474 yards last season and has averaged an incredible 1,521 yards per season over his 7 year NFL career. Peterson is a phenomenal player but had a tendancy to disappear in games last season. He was also plagued by injury problems at Oklahoma and just lost his starting left tackle for the first quarter of the season. With defenses keying on him and daring Tarvaris Jackson to beat them through the air, I find it very hard to believe that AD will outrush LT this season. Especially when you look at the Chargers schedule and reason that they should be playing with the lead a lot this year. I think Peterson is a great player and he could prove me wrong but I don't think LT should be -120 against any other RB in the league. He's been way too good for too long.
* Miami Dolphins +0.5 WINS (EVEN) vs. Kansas City Chiefs (Lucky's)
The Dolphins defense looked really fast in the preseason and should be way better than it was a year ago. They will attempt to control the clock by running the ball with Ronnie Brown and Ricky Williams and hope for big special teams plays from second year man Ted Ginn Jr. in the return game. Meanwhile, Kansas City is openly rebuilding and will struggle mightily with Brodie Croyle playing behind a patchwork offensive line. This line opened +0.5 (+115) but some enterprising Sherman's person beat me to the punch.
* Green Bay Packers +0.5 WINS (-155) vs. Cleveland Browns (Lucky's)
There seems to be a theme here. I am really down on the Browns. I'd like to ask all these people who are humping Cleveland if they have ever bothered to check out their schedule. Allow me:
Dallas
Pittsburgh
@ Baltimore
@ Cincinnati
Bye
N.Y. Giants
@ Washington
@ Jacksonville
Baltimore
Denver
@ Buffalo
Indianapolis
Houston
@ Tennessee
@ Philadelphia
Cincinnati
@ Pittsburgh
Those road games are just brutal. It wouldn't surpise me one bit if the Browns were 0-4 going into their bye week. And in Green Bay, the only real difference between this year's team and last year's 13-3 club is that some QB they used to have is now playing for the Jets. Or something like that. Wasn't a real big story. There are actually a lot of other positions on the field besides QB. Trust me.
I'll even give you guys my Super Bowl pick. I've said three years in a row that the Chargers had the most talented team in the NFL and I stand by that. What always prevented me from considering them a legit Super Bowl contender was their Head Coach, whether it was Marty Schottenheimer or Norv Turner (Both Redskins castoffs.) However, we now live in a world where Tom Coughlin and Doc Rivers are world championship coaches in major sports. So why can't Norv do it, too? San Diego's schedule sets up very well for them to have home field advantage throughout the AFC playoffs. The Chargers will be your Super Bowl XLIII champions.
Last Sunday: 1-0, +$200
Year to Date: 5-4, +$220
I had Kentucky +3.5 at Louisville last Sunday and it was never in doubt, as the Wildcats strolled to a 27-2 win. I am pretty sure that will go down as my best bet of the college football season.
I just don't like much on Saturday's college card. So I reached for a pick.
(348) New Mexico +3 (-101) vs. Texas A&M
No less an authority than Chris Bennett has requested that I include the exact price I get on all my plays in my posts. That is not a typo. I laid 202/200 on this game thanks to a little promotion known as "101 Wednesdays." By all accounts, Texas A&M is in a full on rebuilding mode under new coach Mike Sherman and they will have a real tough time on the road at New Mexico today. At least, that's what I would like to believe.
NL East Update: Those Fightin' Phils won a crucial game last night at Shea. Brett Myers has taken a break from beating up his wife and is now taking it out on opposing batters. He was dealing last night. Phillies 1B Ryan Howard extended his Major League home run on Wednesday night, by hitting two more meaningless, tie-breaking HRs in Washington. He is also closing in on the Majors RBI leader, Rangers OF Josh Hamilton, who is now only 2 ahead of "The Big Guy." Howard now leads TGCU 39-31. Mike - I accept cash and.... cash. Thank you.
Today's game was postponed due to Hurricane Hanna. How does one become part of the committee that names these tropical storms? Not only do I do think that would be really fun, I also have a feeling I would be quite good at it. If we make it to the "L's," perhaps we could call it Tropical Storm LaJerius?
Decision 2008 Update: Look, I'm just going to come right out and say it: Sarah Palin is a MILF. I really don't care if that's inappropriate. What are you going to do about it, Mr. Logistics Coordinator? Is that even a real title?
Jeff's IPhone Update: This guy takes the cake as the biggest Chatty Cathy on the planet. No wonder he says he doesn't have any time to read my blog. I wouldn't have time to do anything else either if I was on the phone that much. He's like a 6th grade girl.
(Please don't fire me, Jeff. I don't even really mean this stuff. It's for the kids. They eat this slop up. I'm sorry, sir. I'll get you an extra big Sprite on Tuesday. I promise.)
Jorgen Update: Our man Yorgie appears to be on the verge of leaving the SuperBook. Let's not kid ourselves guys: We are all going to miss that kid. Crazy Iowan bastard. But this is certainly for the best. Do you want to be the one who has to explain to the police why Jorgen jumped over the counter and bludgeoned a customer to death with a hardback copy of Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban? Me neither.
I just don't want to be there when he and Bennett say goodbye. That's going to be painful to watch.
Last season, myself and two buddies I've known since high school, participated in the Leroy's College Challenge. And we did just as bad as everyone assumed we would. It was terrible. But we've put aside last season's disappointment and are hoping to come back strong in 2008. Here's our card for today.
Syracuse -4.5
Georgia Tech +6.5
Miami-FL +21.5
San Diego St +22.5
Duke +6.5
Ohio +33.5
Oregon St +16.5
Two of the games are already over and both miraculously resulted in W's! Look for the alias 'Avon Barksdale' on the leaderboard in the weeks to come.
Alright, that's enough for one day. I had to wake up at 8 AM for a stupid East Coast fantasy draft (Thanks a lot, Mertins) and I have a hunch that this may be a long night at the SuperBook. In the meantime, I will be watching the Mountaineers play East Carolina in a game that has me worried.
Lots of college football on the card today but tomorrow could be one of the busiest sports days of the entire year. Look at this schedule: Opening day in the NFL for 26 teams, a crucial Phillies-Mets doubleheader as part of a full MLB card, and both Cup and Nationwide races for all you Virginia readers to enjoy. I know how big a part of your lives car racing is.
Sunday is going to be crazy. But for now just sit back and watch some college football.
Enjoy the game.
I love how everyone wants to point the finger at Jason Campbell for the Redskins loss. Yeah, Campbell looked completely lost playing in his first game in a new system. But he was hardly the only one at fault for that debacle. The offensive line was terrible. Clinton Portis had to fight and claw for every inch he gained. The cornerbacks, Fred Smoot and Carlos Rogers, were both routinely beaten by Plaxico Burress. Carlos Rogers is officially a massive bust. He can't cover an NFL WR one-on-one. The front four couldn't get any pressure on Eli Manning and were gashed by Jacobs on the ground. The new punter looked like a high school kid out there. But mostly I blame that loss on new Head Coach Jim Zorn. He called one of the most unimaginative games I have ever seen. At least that moron Steve Spurrier would take a shot down field from time to time. With his team trailing 16-7, and less than 5 minutes remaining, Zorn was calling for HB traps to Portis and screen passes. Yeah, that's really the quarterback's fault. As bad as Campbell looked on Thursday night, he was hardly the only one to blame.
People are just too stupid to ever look past the QB position at the rest of the team: "Oh, the team lost. Their QB must suck." Believe it or not, there's actually a lot of other players and coaches involved in a football game. And besides, this weekend, Brodie Croyle, Tarvaris Jackson, JaMarcus Russell, Kyle Orton, J.T. O'Sullivan, Joe Flacco, Matt Ryan, Trent Edwards, Matt Schaub, Aaron Rodgers, Jake "Tommy John" Delhomme, Kurt Warner, and the remnants of Chad Pennington's right arm will be starting for NFL teams. I'll continue to take my chances with Jason Campbell. Zorn on the other hand....
Before I move off the topic of the Redskins game, I just want to point out that Brandon Jacobs running over LaRon Landry was nowhere near as impressive as the chip block Clinton Portis had on Mathias Kiwanuka, knocking the DE/LB on his ass. Jacobs had a full head of steam and outweighs Landry by 50some pounds. What did you think was going to happen? A running back pancaking a defensive lineman is much more impressive. But the NBC producers showed the Jacobs-Landry replay about 10 more times so stupid people were amazed by it.
I really did have plans to preview the other NFL divisions I never got to. I even had an interview lined up with a highly respected linesmaker/Philadelphia Eagles SuperFan. However, I am already sick of this league. (Incidentally, if the Redskins had won on Thursday night, I would have to hire an editor to go over everything I wanted to say about the beautiful game of professional football.)
Here's how I rank the rest of the divisions in this stupid league:
NFC East:
1. Cowboys
2. Eagles
3. Giants
4. Redskins
NFC South:
1. Panthers
2. Saints
3. Bucs
4. Falcons
AFC East:
1. Patriots
2. Bills
3. Jets
4. Dolphins
AFC West:
1. Chargers
2. Broncos
3. Raiders
4. Chiefs
In lieu of more formal divisional breakdowns, I will mention some specific NFL future bets I am currently recommending to those of you in the greater Las Vegas area:
* Will the Cleveland Browns make the playoffs? NO -170 (Venetian/Palazzo)
I knew I wanted to play this team 'Under' the total, but decided that playing the 'No' on them making the playoffs was the better value. You can find them Under 8.5 wins but I consider the no postseason option to be the more sensible play, even though it requires laying more juice. Consider that last season the Browns won 10 games and still didn't make the playoffs in the ultra competitive AFC. With a much harder schedule, I don't see any way this team can qualify for the postseason. Brady Quinn will be starting for the Browns by mid-season.
* Ben Roethlisberger TD Passes (-115) vs. Derek Anderson TD Passes (Lucky's)
See what I did there? That's called a segueway. I don't see Anderson making it through this season. On the other hand, Roethlisberger has more weapons this year than ever before. Dumb line.
* LaDainian Tomlinson Rush Yards (-120) vs. Adrian Peterson Rush Yards (Lucky's)
L.T. ran for 1,474 yards last season and has averaged an incredible 1,521 yards per season over his 7 year NFL career. Peterson is a phenomenal player but had a tendancy to disappear in games last season. He was also plagued by injury problems at Oklahoma and just lost his starting left tackle for the first quarter of the season. With defenses keying on him and daring Tarvaris Jackson to beat them through the air, I find it very hard to believe that AD will outrush LT this season. Especially when you look at the Chargers schedule and reason that they should be playing with the lead a lot this year. I think Peterson is a great player and he could prove me wrong but I don't think LT should be -120 against any other RB in the league. He's been way too good for too long.
* Miami Dolphins +0.5 WINS (EVEN) vs. Kansas City Chiefs (Lucky's)
The Dolphins defense looked really fast in the preseason and should be way better than it was a year ago. They will attempt to control the clock by running the ball with Ronnie Brown and Ricky Williams and hope for big special teams plays from second year man Ted Ginn Jr. in the return game. Meanwhile, Kansas City is openly rebuilding and will struggle mightily with Brodie Croyle playing behind a patchwork offensive line. This line opened +0.5 (+115) but some enterprising Sherman's person beat me to the punch.
* Green Bay Packers +0.5 WINS (-155) vs. Cleveland Browns (Lucky's)
There seems to be a theme here. I am really down on the Browns. I'd like to ask all these people who are humping Cleveland if they have ever bothered to check out their schedule. Allow me:
Dallas
Pittsburgh
@ Baltimore
@ Cincinnati
Bye
N.Y. Giants
@ Washington
@ Jacksonville
Baltimore
Denver
@ Buffalo
Indianapolis
Houston
@ Tennessee
@ Philadelphia
Cincinnati
@ Pittsburgh
Those road games are just brutal. It wouldn't surpise me one bit if the Browns were 0-4 going into their bye week. And in Green Bay, the only real difference between this year's team and last year's 13-3 club is that some QB they used to have is now playing for the Jets. Or something like that. Wasn't a real big story. There are actually a lot of other positions on the field besides QB. Trust me.
I'll even give you guys my Super Bowl pick. I've said three years in a row that the Chargers had the most talented team in the NFL and I stand by that. What always prevented me from considering them a legit Super Bowl contender was their Head Coach, whether it was Marty Schottenheimer or Norv Turner (Both Redskins castoffs.) However, we now live in a world where Tom Coughlin and Doc Rivers are world championship coaches in major sports. So why can't Norv do it, too? San Diego's schedule sets up very well for them to have home field advantage throughout the AFC playoffs. The Chargers will be your Super Bowl XLIII champions.
Last Sunday: 1-0, +$200
Year to Date: 5-4, +$220
I had Kentucky +3.5 at Louisville last Sunday and it was never in doubt, as the Wildcats strolled to a 27-2 win. I am pretty sure that will go down as my best bet of the college football season.
I just don't like much on Saturday's college card. So I reached for a pick.
(348) New Mexico +3 (-101) vs. Texas A&M
No less an authority than Chris Bennett has requested that I include the exact price I get on all my plays in my posts. That is not a typo. I laid 202/200 on this game thanks to a little promotion known as "101 Wednesdays." By all accounts, Texas A&M is in a full on rebuilding mode under new coach Mike Sherman and they will have a real tough time on the road at New Mexico today. At least, that's what I would like to believe.
NL East Update: Those Fightin' Phils won a crucial game last night at Shea. Brett Myers has taken a break from beating up his wife and is now taking it out on opposing batters. He was dealing last night. Phillies 1B Ryan Howard extended his Major League home run on Wednesday night, by hitting two more meaningless, tie-breaking HRs in Washington. He is also closing in on the Majors RBI leader, Rangers OF Josh Hamilton, who is now only 2 ahead of "The Big Guy." Howard now leads TGCU 39-31. Mike - I accept cash and.... cash. Thank you.
Today's game was postponed due to Hurricane Hanna. How does one become part of the committee that names these tropical storms? Not only do I do think that would be really fun, I also have a feeling I would be quite good at it. If we make it to the "L's," perhaps we could call it Tropical Storm LaJerius?
Decision 2008 Update: Look, I'm just going to come right out and say it: Sarah Palin is a MILF. I really don't care if that's inappropriate. What are you going to do about it, Mr. Logistics Coordinator? Is that even a real title?
Jeff's IPhone Update: This guy takes the cake as the biggest Chatty Cathy on the planet. No wonder he says he doesn't have any time to read my blog. I wouldn't have time to do anything else either if I was on the phone that much. He's like a 6th grade girl.
(Please don't fire me, Jeff. I don't even really mean this stuff. It's for the kids. They eat this slop up. I'm sorry, sir. I'll get you an extra big Sprite on Tuesday. I promise.)
Jorgen Update: Our man Yorgie appears to be on the verge of leaving the SuperBook. Let's not kid ourselves guys: We are all going to miss that kid. Crazy Iowan bastard. But this is certainly for the best. Do you want to be the one who has to explain to the police why Jorgen jumped over the counter and bludgeoned a customer to death with a hardback copy of Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban? Me neither.
I just don't want to be there when he and Bennett say goodbye. That's going to be painful to watch.
Last season, myself and two buddies I've known since high school, participated in the Leroy's College Challenge. And we did just as bad as everyone assumed we would. It was terrible. But we've put aside last season's disappointment and are hoping to come back strong in 2008. Here's our card for today.
Syracuse -4.5
Georgia Tech +6.5
Miami-FL +21.5
San Diego St +22.5
Duke +6.5
Ohio +33.5
Oregon St +16.5
Two of the games are already over and both miraculously resulted in W's! Look for the alias 'Avon Barksdale' on the leaderboard in the weeks to come.
Alright, that's enough for one day. I had to wake up at 8 AM for a stupid East Coast fantasy draft (Thanks a lot, Mertins) and I have a hunch that this may be a long night at the SuperBook. In the meantime, I will be watching the Mountaineers play East Carolina in a game that has me worried.
Lots of college football on the card today but tomorrow could be one of the busiest sports days of the entire year. Look at this schedule: Opening day in the NFL for 26 teams, a crucial Phillies-Mets doubleheader as part of a full MLB card, and both Cup and Nationwide races for all you Virginia readers to enjoy. I know how big a part of your lives car racing is.
Sunday is going to be crazy. But for now just sit back and watch some college football.
Enjoy the game.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Carl Edwards
May be the blog's biggest hero....
