.... who thinks that Ed and Bennett should fly to Minnesota this weekend and attend Sunday's NFC Wild Card game between the Eagles and Vikings together? They could stay in the same hotel room, go to the game together all dressed up in the gear of their respective team. (Unless of course the Eagles are having another homecoming game and asking all their fans to dress in black.) And after one team wins they could fly back to Vegas together in awkward silence. (Unless of course the Eagles win in which case Ed would mock the entire way home before Bennett snapped and either punched him in the face or retreated to the bathroom for the duration of the flight.) I really think it's a great idea. Now we just need to find a Cardinals fan to go to the other NFC Wild Card game with Jeff on Saturday.
How easy has it been to pick winners in college bowl games this season? The blog is 7-2-1 (JINX ALERT).... And I'd be 8-2 if not for the terrible number I got on UNC in the Meineke Car Care Bowl. I bet these for Wednesday:
Pittsburgh +3
Minnesota +10
LSU +4.5
(I'm sure I'll force out something in the Gaylord Hotels Music City Bowl. I just don't know what yet so I can't post it.)
I feel like Hoffy with all these dog bets but they have been winning. Maybe that's why he's got hundred dollar bills spilling out of his wallet....
Speaking of Hoffman, he lost to Franco in the semifinals of the Murray Holiday Invitational. After they both advanced to the Final Four, Scott and Matt asked me to put them on opposite sides of the bracket so that they could play in the championship game and make a large side bet on the outcome. Then they both lost in the semifinals to people who don't work in the industry. Murray Bowl I will pit "Mr. Salmon" against "Darts At a Board." We could have a 3rd place match between "+ Units" and "Bennie Silman" if you guys are interested.
For the championship game, it's going to come down to the four NFL Wild Card Weekend games. In the event of a tie, we'll go to next Thursday's BCS Championship Game.
Here are the lines I'm using:
The Fightin' Shermans @ Cardinals (+2)
Colts @ Chargers (+1.5)
Ravens @ Dolphins (+3)
Eagles @ Vikings (+3)
The only difference in the rules this week is that you have to pick between 3 and 4 games. A win is +1, a loss is -1, and a push is +0.5. Here's a good question I got last week: What happens if your 2 point money ball pick is a push? If that happens, you'll get +1. Also, if one of your games ends in an Eagles-Bengals-like tie, you will get +10 points. For Donovan McNabb. Need picks by Midnight Friday.
One more point I want to touch on in regards to the MHI: At the start of the tournament we had 14 competitors. 12 of those people currently work in a Las Vegas Race and Sports Book. The other two are the two facing off in Murray Bowl I. Nice job, guys.
I somehow ended up watching ESPN's First Take while I blogged and the following question was posed to talking head Skip Bayless and disheveled old man Lou Holtz: Who should the Detroit Lions take with the 1st overall pick - Sam Bradford or Tim Tebow?
Wow.
I'm stuck writing this ridiculous blog purely to entertain Jeff on days the Lakers are idle and these idiots get to be on ESPN talking about how the Lions should draft Tim Tebow with the first overall pick. Life isn't fair.
The new poll was recommended by Matt Metcalf who has quickly become one of my favorite readers. Well, sort of. I'm actually just kissing his ass for reasons I can't go public with in a blog that is read by so many people.
And for the record Jeff - Not long is how long that this blog took me.
Be safe this New Years Eve.... In other words, don't go anywhere near C-Jack.
How bout those Georgetown Hoyas?
Enjoy.
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Sunday, December 28, 2008
The Final Four
.... of the Murray Holiday Invitational takes place today. I waited until the last minute to post these picks due to concerns over the celebrities in the field drastically moving the lines. You gotta be careful when you run an event of this magnitude.
Here's where the stars went this week:
"+Units": Broncos, Cowboys, Jets, Lions, Saints
"Mr. Salmon": Rams, Patriots, Lions, Broncos, Panthers**
This one may come down to the Saints-Panthers game.
"Bennie Silman": Texans, Ravens, Titans, Vikings, Bills
"Darts At a Board": Cowboys, Chiefs, Dolphins, Redskins, Bears, Colts, Saints
These sharps go head-to-head in the Chicago-Houston and Tennessee-Indianapolis games. Both elected to pass on selecting a moneyball.
Wondering why both Ed and I were eliminated way back in the 1st round? Yesterday we bet opposite sides of a college football bowl game and NEITHER of us won because of the numbers we got.
Now that's the way the pros do it.
Enjoy Week 17.
Here's where the stars went this week:
"+Units": Broncos, Cowboys, Jets, Lions, Saints
"Mr. Salmon": Rams, Patriots, Lions, Broncos, Panthers**
This one may come down to the Saints-Panthers game.
"Bennie Silman": Texans, Ravens, Titans, Vikings, Bills
"Darts At a Board": Cowboys, Chiefs, Dolphins, Redskins, Bears, Colts, Saints
These sharps go head-to-head in the Chicago-Houston and Tennessee-Indianapolis games. Both elected to pass on selecting a moneyball.
Wondering why both Ed and I were eliminated way back in the 1st round? Yesterday we bet opposite sides of a college football bowl game and NEITHER of us won because of the numbers we got.
Now that's the way the pros do it.
Enjoy Week 17.
Saturday, December 27, 2008
The blog has been getting
.... an unusual amount of hate mail this week and I'm not just talking about the twice weekly e-mails I get from "Anonymous" saying that GolfOdds.com is a way better site than mine. (That's getting really sad by the way, Jeff.) This week the haters have been complaining about me not posting the Hilton lines or talking about the upcoming Final Four of the Murray Holiday Invitational. I'll admit - That's a justifiable complaint. I dropped the ball on that one. The problem was that I forgot to take home a sheet with the SuperContest lines on it so I had to wait until I went to work on Friday to get the numbers.
Why didn't you just call someone at work on Wednesday or Thursday and get the numbers from him?
Moving on....
Another major complaint I got was that there was a typo in my Christmas blog. This wasn't just a minor error. It basically rendered the entire entry unintelligible. What it should say is that C-Jack told me on Tuesday that he sees no possible way that the Florida-Oklahoma game will go OVER the total. In fact, he told me on Friday that he actually already made a bet on Under 72, despite the fact that the number will almost certainly go up as we near kickoff. I am therefore recommending a play on the OVER. It's C-Jack.
One of the dumber complaints I got this week was that I only linked the bowl game previews on PlanetBlacksburg.com one time. How many times do I need to link something? If people wanted to read through them, they would have just clicked the link the first time I posted it. See if you can guess which previews I did. And please stop with the silly complaints.
And then there were four:
The "Who Made Your Sweater? Ralph Lauren? Oh, JCrew, huh? Yeah, well mine's Ralph Lauren" Bowl: "Darts At a Board" vs. "Bennie Silman"
These two have been arguably the biggest stars of this competition and now they go head-to-head for a spot in the Murray Bowl. BS appears to be on a mission to prove that his vast NFL knowledge can be applied to successfully handicapping the league while DAaB couldn't be more pleased with herself over her incredible 11-2 start in the MHI. Should be a great one.
The Party at MGM Grand Bowl: "+ Units" vs. "Mr. Salmon"
Both of these cappers survived close scares in the Elite Eight to advance to this week's Final Four. Mr. S barely won his moneyball pick on the Dolphins while his opponent had taken Miami's opponent the Kansas City Chiefs as his moneyball. Switch that result around and "Milton Bradley" is playing this weekend. Meanwhile, it took an overtime touchdown by the Giants for "+ Units" to get past "The Player" in his quarterfinal. Now both of these sharps find themselves one win away from the Murray Bowl. "+ Units" has to be considered a slight favorite beacuse.... I mean come on.... He's "+ Units" but like any game in the Murray Holiday Invitational, I could see this one going either way.
Here are the lines:
Raiders (+13) @ Bucs
Lions (+9.5) @ Packers
Cowboys (+1) @ Eagles
Giants (+7) @ Vikings
Bears (+3) @ Texans
Panthers @ Saints (+3)
Rams (+15) @ Falcons
Chiefs (+3) @ Bengals
Jaguars (+12.5) @ Ravens
Titans @ Colts (+3)
Browns (+10.5) @ Steelers
Dolphins (+2.5) @ Jets
Patriots @ Bills (+6)
Seahawks (+6.5) @ Cardinals
Redskins (+3) @ 49ers
Broncos (+8) @ Chargers
* Players have the option of picking between 5-7 games.
* Players have the option of selecting a 2 point moneyball pick.
* In the event of a tie, we will go to weekday bowl games to decide who advances.
* Picks must be in by Midnight Saturday. Two players have already submitted me their plays. Those can be edited until Midnight.
Here's what else is going on as we approach the final day of another frustrating Washington Redskins season:
* Not all of the feedback I get is negative. Austin told me that he got an e-mail from an old high school girlfriend the other day who said that she had googled his name and my blog came up. I really like hearing that the blog is reuniting old couples, although I'm sure that she just wanted to get in touch with him because she's still mad at him for being such a cocky asshole. He just has that effect on people.
* I was missing home on Christmas Day after I heard that most of my extended family was getting together at my parents house. And I was really missing home after I heard that my Mom had dressed up the dog in a hilarious sweater and that he was completely miserable all day. And I was really missing home when my brother called to tell me that my cousin's husband had grown a ridiculous beard and looked even funnier than the dog. However, had I been home on Christmas, I would have missed the opportunity to dine with two of the sharpest sports bettors this city has seen in years.
Imagine being a wide-eyed, run-of-the-mill sharp square from Virginia and breaking bread on Christmas Day with not only a sharp sharp but a sharp's sharp, as well. The only downside for me was that I was afraid to offer up any gambling insight/opinions/stories for fear of being mocked by the other members of my party. Imagine you are sitting at a table talking golf with Tiger Woods and Jeff Sherman. Or talking baseball with Bill James and Chris Bennett. Or talking NFL football with Bill Belichick and Ed Salmons. Would you say anything or would you just smile, nod, and soak up everything they had to say? It's just a good thing for me that Bennett was in Minnesota and not occupying the fourth seat at our table. Had he been there, the conversation would have been so razor sharp, I would have been forced to ask the waiter to attach a kiddie table to the main table for me to sit at.
* Have you ever been watching a game in a sports book and had the kids break out into a "De-fense!" chant? I can now answer yes to that question after my experience in the Wynn on Christmas Day during the Celtics-Shermans game.
* Have you ever seen Andrei Kirilenko playing craps at the Wynn on Christmas Day? I can also answer yes to that one now.
* Lots of celebrities courtside for Lakers-Celtics, among them blog favorite Kevin James shamelessly plugging his new movie which.... well, it doesn't look funny, I'll leave it at that. I scanned the crowd closely but have to admit that I did not see Jeff Sherman anywhere. I assumed he was sitting somewhere in that first row with James, Markie Mark, Adam Sandler, and Snoop Dogg but the cameras never showed him for whatever reason.
(Too much Jeff talk, huh? Pipe down, CB. I talk about Jeff because he is one of the blog's favorite characters. Good writing is all about character development. I have spent a lot of time working to establish Jeff as the blog's resident Grinch. Someone who is too good, too big, too important to read what I have to say. And now that I have established him as the villain, I have to keep talking about him. That's just how it works. Sorry, bro.)
* We've talked about the blog's antagonist so why don't we talk a little about the hero of this space: Jorgie. Does anyone know why Gene Chizik, the now ex-head football coach at the Big Purse's alma mater, would get the job at a major program like Auburn after losing his final 1o games in Ames? That's almost as ridiculous as Notre Dame's offensive coordinator getting a head coaching job. Well, I guess they did almost score a touchdown against USC.
* Pat White is now the first QB in college football history to go 4-0 in bowl games with wins in the Sugar, Gator, Fiesta, and, of course, the Meineke Car Care bowls on his resume.
CB is running away with the biggest snob poll but I feel I made a compelling case for all of those guys. What do you think?
Enjoy the game.
Why didn't you just call someone at work on Wednesday or Thursday and get the numbers from him?
Moving on....
Another major complaint I got was that there was a typo in my Christmas blog. This wasn't just a minor error. It basically rendered the entire entry unintelligible. What it should say is that C-Jack told me on Tuesday that he sees no possible way that the Florida-Oklahoma game will go OVER the total. In fact, he told me on Friday that he actually already made a bet on Under 72, despite the fact that the number will almost certainly go up as we near kickoff. I am therefore recommending a play on the OVER. It's C-Jack.
One of the dumber complaints I got this week was that I only linked the bowl game previews on PlanetBlacksburg.com one time. How many times do I need to link something? If people wanted to read through them, they would have just clicked the link the first time I posted it. See if you can guess which previews I did. And please stop with the silly complaints.
And then there were four:
The "Who Made Your Sweater? Ralph Lauren? Oh, JCrew, huh? Yeah, well mine's Ralph Lauren" Bowl: "Darts At a Board" vs. "Bennie Silman"
These two have been arguably the biggest stars of this competition and now they go head-to-head for a spot in the Murray Bowl. BS appears to be on a mission to prove that his vast NFL knowledge can be applied to successfully handicapping the league while DAaB couldn't be more pleased with herself over her incredible 11-2 start in the MHI. Should be a great one.
The Party at MGM Grand Bowl: "+ Units" vs. "Mr. Salmon"
Both of these cappers survived close scares in the Elite Eight to advance to this week's Final Four. Mr. S barely won his moneyball pick on the Dolphins while his opponent had taken Miami's opponent the Kansas City Chiefs as his moneyball. Switch that result around and "Milton Bradley" is playing this weekend. Meanwhile, it took an overtime touchdown by the Giants for "+ Units" to get past "The Player" in his quarterfinal. Now both of these sharps find themselves one win away from the Murray Bowl. "+ Units" has to be considered a slight favorite beacuse.... I mean come on.... He's "+ Units" but like any game in the Murray Holiday Invitational, I could see this one going either way.
Here are the lines:
Raiders (+13) @ Bucs
Lions (+9.5) @ Packers
Cowboys (+1) @ Eagles
Giants (+7) @ Vikings
Bears (+3) @ Texans
Panthers @ Saints (+3)
Rams (+15) @ Falcons
Chiefs (+3) @ Bengals
Jaguars (+12.5) @ Ravens
Titans @ Colts (+3)
Browns (+10.5) @ Steelers
Dolphins (+2.5) @ Jets
Patriots @ Bills (+6)
Seahawks (+6.5) @ Cardinals
Redskins (+3) @ 49ers
Broncos (+8) @ Chargers
* Players have the option of picking between 5-7 games.
* Players have the option of selecting a 2 point moneyball pick.
* In the event of a tie, we will go to weekday bowl games to decide who advances.
* Picks must be in by Midnight Saturday. Two players have already submitted me their plays. Those can be edited until Midnight.
Here's what else is going on as we approach the final day of another frustrating Washington Redskins season:
* Not all of the feedback I get is negative. Austin told me that he got an e-mail from an old high school girlfriend the other day who said that she had googled his name and my blog came up. I really like hearing that the blog is reuniting old couples, although I'm sure that she just wanted to get in touch with him because she's still mad at him for being such a cocky asshole. He just has that effect on people.
* I was missing home on Christmas Day after I heard that most of my extended family was getting together at my parents house. And I was really missing home after I heard that my Mom had dressed up the dog in a hilarious sweater and that he was completely miserable all day. And I was really missing home when my brother called to tell me that my cousin's husband had grown a ridiculous beard and looked even funnier than the dog. However, had I been home on Christmas, I would have missed the opportunity to dine with two of the sharpest sports bettors this city has seen in years.
Imagine being a wide-eyed, run-of-the-mill sharp square from Virginia and breaking bread on Christmas Day with not only a sharp sharp but a sharp's sharp, as well. The only downside for me was that I was afraid to offer up any gambling insight/opinions/stories for fear of being mocked by the other members of my party. Imagine you are sitting at a table talking golf with Tiger Woods and Jeff Sherman. Or talking baseball with Bill James and Chris Bennett. Or talking NFL football with Bill Belichick and Ed Salmons. Would you say anything or would you just smile, nod, and soak up everything they had to say? It's just a good thing for me that Bennett was in Minnesota and not occupying the fourth seat at our table. Had he been there, the conversation would have been so razor sharp, I would have been forced to ask the waiter to attach a kiddie table to the main table for me to sit at.
* Have you ever been watching a game in a sports book and had the kids break out into a "De-fense!" chant? I can now answer yes to that question after my experience in the Wynn on Christmas Day during the Celtics-Shermans game.
* Have you ever seen Andrei Kirilenko playing craps at the Wynn on Christmas Day? I can also answer yes to that one now.
* Lots of celebrities courtside for Lakers-Celtics, among them blog favorite Kevin James shamelessly plugging his new movie which.... well, it doesn't look funny, I'll leave it at that. I scanned the crowd closely but have to admit that I did not see Jeff Sherman anywhere. I assumed he was sitting somewhere in that first row with James, Markie Mark, Adam Sandler, and Snoop Dogg but the cameras never showed him for whatever reason.
(Too much Jeff talk, huh? Pipe down, CB. I talk about Jeff because he is one of the blog's favorite characters. Good writing is all about character development. I have spent a lot of time working to establish Jeff as the blog's resident Grinch. Someone who is too good, too big, too important to read what I have to say. And now that I have established him as the villain, I have to keep talking about him. That's just how it works. Sorry, bro.)
* We've talked about the blog's antagonist so why don't we talk a little about the hero of this space: Jorgie. Does anyone know why Gene Chizik, the now ex-head football coach at the Big Purse's alma mater, would get the job at a major program like Auburn after losing his final 1o games in Ames? That's almost as ridiculous as Notre Dame's offensive coordinator getting a head coaching job. Well, I guess they did almost score a touchdown against USC.
* Pat White is now the first QB in college football history to go 4-0 in bowl games with wins in the Sugar, Gator, Fiesta, and, of course, the Meineke Car Care bowls on his resume.
CB is running away with the biggest snob poll but I feel I made a compelling case for all of those guys. What do you think?
Enjoy the game.
Thursday, December 25, 2008
Don't ever say that I don't
.... do anything for you guys. Here's a Christmas present from the blog: C-Jack told me on Tuesday that he can't see any possible way that the BCS Championship game between Florida and Oklahoma goes 'OVER' the posted total. He thinks the number is too high and that every kid on earth will be betting the over and therefore the game is a lock under.
So I am recommending a play on the 'Over' in that game. Seems square, you say? Did you not just read the above paragraph? We're talking about C-Jack here.
Might as well play it now before the kids drive the number up.
Merry Christmas.
So I am recommending a play on the 'Over' in that game. Seems square, you say? Did you not just read the above paragraph? We're talking about C-Jack here.
Might as well play it now before the kids drive the number up.
Merry Christmas.
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
There are sports bettors
.... who run well. There are sports bettors who run ridiculously well. There are sports bettors who turn everything they touch to gold. And then there's The Hoff. Going into the Sunday night game between the Panthers and Giants, he and Austin were tied in the Blackjack At Murray's House Bowl. Scott was finished for the day while Austin had just Panthers +3.5 left on his card. The Giants scored a touchdown they didn't need in overtime to win by 6 and cover the spread, knocking Austin down a point and allowing Hoffy to move on to this weekend's Final Four.
Joining "+ Units" in the Final Four will be "Bennie Silman," "Mr. Salmon," and "Darts At A Board" who went 6-0 on Sunday to show "The Dealer" the door. I should point out that she actually sent me 7 picks but one of them was the Packers and the Monday night game was off limits. However, with the Packers covering last night, the 7 picks she e-mailed me went 7-0. I can't possibly be accused of cheating for her because I couldn't go 7-0 in the NFL if I picked 7 sides every Sunday until the day I die.
What else did I take away from Week 16 of the NFL season, you ask? Here you go:
* So, the Cowboys had a big game in December against a good defense and Tony Romo completely choked? Shocking. The funny thing is the next time Dallas plays a bad team in a meaningless game, he'll throw for 300 and 3 TDs and every one will go right back to talking about how great he is like nothing ever happened. I will give him this - He did a good job of padding his stats when the Ravens went into a prevent defense in the 4th quarter and those 500-esque passes he threw up to Ed Reed went way higher than any of tosses by kids on the playground at recess in McLean, Virginia ever did.
* Speaking of choking, ladies and gentlemen - the 2008 Philadelphia Eagles. Ed's team may go down as the highest power rated club in sports history to not even make the playoffs. This goes to show you that we shouldn't let last season's performance dictate how highly we rate teams the following this year.
What's that? Are you sure?
Wow. Okay this just in - It turns out the Eagles didn't make the playoffs last season, either. In fact, they finished last in the NFC East. So why exactly did the powers that be in Las Vegas have them rated as one of the league's top teams? It's almost as if the manager of the most influential sports book in the city is partial towards them....
Bottom line - Say what you want about the Skins, about JC, and about The Zornado. They still swept the 2008 Eagles. That's even better than a playoff berth.
* So, the Patriots beat the Cardinals 47-7 on Sunday and are a win away from finishing 11-5 while the Cardinals are one loss away from going .500. And the Pats still need help to make the playoffs while Leinart and Co. are guaranteed a HOME playoff game? What a league.
* It's time to extend congratulations to Jeff Sherman and the Atlanta Falcons on a stunning 2008 season. Sunday's win in Minnesota clinched a playoff berth for the Dirty Birds and with a win and a Panthers loss this week, Atlanta would actually win the NFC South and have a first round bye! Who saw this coming? Jeff Sherman did. He called for them to be the most surprising team in the NFL this season way back in August. (Of course he also called for them to be the league's most disappointing team as well but we'll just pretend that never happened. That guy toes the line better than any politician out there.)
* This was such a crazy weekend in the NFL that even the blog managed to make money. (And not just on fantasy football. My dumb bets won, too. Must be one of those variance things that Bennett's always talking about.) In the process, I learned several things about betting the NFL -
1. Just because a team has to win, doesn't mean they will. I thought I learned that lesson years ago but apparently not. The Eagles, Broncos, and Bucs are all examples of teams that choked away very winnable games on Sunday and jeopardized their playoff status in the process.
2. When it's cold outside you should be betting against Brett Favre. He's getting too old for this shit.
3. The only thing worse than a ball busting bookie is a gossipy one. This kid I'm going through right now has about as much discretion as an 8th grade girl talking about cute boys in the schoolyard. At least hold comments until after the games are over please, sir.
* We can all agree that booking my bets is the easiest job in America. The second easiest? How about being general manager of the New York Yankees? Things didn't work out last season so let's just throw piles of money at every big name free agent available and assume that will work. Mark Teixeira is a giant douche.
By the way, Austin texted me soon after the news broke. All he said was: "120 wins?"
I didn't respond.
* Speaking of Austin, he and I locked up a fantasy league championship on Monday night and in the process once again posted the highest score of the week. I'd like to thank DeAngelo Williams, Maurice Jones-Drew, Brandon Marshall, Steve Smith, Brandon Jacobs, Randy Moss, and everyone who made this title possible. Even you Robbie Gould. Better luck next year, Ed.
I also managed to win the championship game of Mantasy Football this weekend thanks to my star QB Peyton Manning's precision passing and my opponent's star player Brian Westbrook getting shut down by the Burgundy and Gold defense. If only I was as good at betting on sports as I am in fantasy football.
* Austin and I are on the verge of being labeled fantasy football snobs but who are the biggest sports gambling snobs out there? I have compiled a list of the biggest gambling snobs at work and will put it to your vote to determine who is the most insufferable. I will leave Hoffy out of this because A) He doesn't work with us any more and B) This is to determine the biggest sports betting snob, not the biggest snob.
Just kidding, pal.
Well, kind of.
Okay, here are the candidates:
The Favorite: Chris Bennett.
When you go around telling people you are "Sharp sharp" you are going to make this list. You're not only going to make this list, you're going to be the betting favorite. Actually, you're not only going to be the betting favorite, you're going to be like the Eagles scout team facing the AFC Pro Bowlers. That's right - A huge chalk. There's no doubt that CB is sharp. He's so sharp, I want to check his birth certificate to see if he was born in Washington state. But there are some who say he is more concerned with getting good numbers than he is with cashing tickets. And he does have a tendency to look down on the less mathematically skilled bettors around him. I'll agree that he is the favorite at this point but let's look at a few others that deserve to be in this conversation before we crown his ass.
The Challenger: Matt Metcalf.
If you tell this kid you made a bet, there are only two possible responses you'll get: "How much are you going to lay off on the other side?" or "Seems dumb." That's it. He won't say anything else. He is not afraid to criticize anyone: Bettors, books, sharps, squares, sharp squares, square squares, sharp degenerates, square drunks, The Hoff, even his own partners. The argument for Matt not being the biggest sports gambling snob is that he has made a lot of money gambling and therefore has earned the right to be cocky about it. But the debate is not over who has the right to be a snob or not, it's over who IS a snob. Judgmental is snobby. I don't see how we can leave "The Big Guy" out of this conversation.
The Darkhorse: Jeff Sherman
Jeff's not the biggest sports gambling snob. I just wanted to talk about him in the blog because it annoys CB. Did you guys know that J.S. runs his own golf website? It's a nice looking site, too. I like it so much that when I was told I needed to pick a contest name for a college bowl challenge I am in, I chose GolfOdds.com as my handle to give Jeff and his site some (much needed) publicity.
But instead of thanking me, the guy threated to sue me! Unbelievable.
Maybe I will try to make a case for him as the biggest sports betting snob. He did mock me the other day for contemplating taking 8.5 points on an NFL side in which his group got 9, that being such a key number. And his group mocked me all week for betting the Ravens +5 before deciding to pounce on that 5.5 on Saturday night. That ended up making a huge difference of course what with the Ravens winning straight up. (That team he took 9 on won straight up too, by the way.) Jeff was too big for the MHI, too big for Charlie's bowl challenge, too big to make bets in person, too big to read the blog, and worst of all, he is too big to watch NASCAR races on Sunday afternoons. Maybe he, not CB or Metcalf, is really the biggest sports gambling snob. Think about it.
The "I'm Not a Snob. I Think I'm Terrible at This Shit" Guy: Ed Salmons.
On a constant mission to convince everyone that he doesn't know what he's doing, while he wins bet after bet. I'm on to you, bro. You can play dumb all you want but I'm not buying what you're selling. I will say this for Ed - He's only a snob when it comes to futures betting. The guy gets a bet down on the Celtics at 200-1 last year and suddenly he's the king of futures betting. I'm at a point now where I'm rooting for the Cavaliers more to stick it to Ed than I am for the potential pay day in June. According to him, if you money line it out there's no value on any future ticket in the city. He mocks everyone who bets anything. But at least he is consistent about it and at least he's got the character to do it to their face. He's probably not the biggest snob, but I'm going to put him in the poll just to make sure.
I was recently asked to write previews for a handful of college bowl games for PlanetBlacksburg.com. Here's a link to the article - Silly would be a compliment to this slop.
I should point out that only 8 of those previews were penned by yours truly. The others were done by equally stupid kids in Virginia. I should also point out that while doing those write ups, I researched the games and I ended up betting on just about every one I did a preview of. I may have to revisit the concept of blog memberships in the very near future.
Remember when I used to post picks on the blog?
I took TCU -2.5 (-101) tonight in the Poinsettia Bowl. But you would already know that if you came within 50 feet of my bookie this week. Why did I bet it? Because I wrote that dopey preview and talked myself into it.
Remember when I used to have trivia in the blog?
Trivia Question for Tuesday - When was the last time an 11-5 NFL team failed to make the playoffs?
(Yes, I do have Patriots to make the playoffs at +210 and am prepared to bitch if they get left out for the AFC West "champion."
Enjoy the holidays.
Joining "+ Units" in the Final Four will be "Bennie Silman," "Mr. Salmon," and "Darts At A Board" who went 6-0 on Sunday to show "The Dealer" the door. I should point out that she actually sent me 7 picks but one of them was the Packers and the Monday night game was off limits. However, with the Packers covering last night, the 7 picks she e-mailed me went 7-0. I can't possibly be accused of cheating for her because I couldn't go 7-0 in the NFL if I picked 7 sides every Sunday until the day I die.
What else did I take away from Week 16 of the NFL season, you ask? Here you go:
* So, the Cowboys had a big game in December against a good defense and Tony Romo completely choked? Shocking. The funny thing is the next time Dallas plays a bad team in a meaningless game, he'll throw for 300 and 3 TDs and every one will go right back to talking about how great he is like nothing ever happened. I will give him this - He did a good job of padding his stats when the Ravens went into a prevent defense in the 4th quarter and those 500-esque passes he threw up to Ed Reed went way higher than any of tosses by kids on the playground at recess in McLean, Virginia ever did.
* Speaking of choking, ladies and gentlemen - the 2008 Philadelphia Eagles. Ed's team may go down as the highest power rated club in sports history to not even make the playoffs. This goes to show you that we shouldn't let last season's performance dictate how highly we rate teams the following this year.
What's that? Are you sure?
Wow. Okay this just in - It turns out the Eagles didn't make the playoffs last season, either. In fact, they finished last in the NFC East. So why exactly did the powers that be in Las Vegas have them rated as one of the league's top teams? It's almost as if the manager of the most influential sports book in the city is partial towards them....
Bottom line - Say what you want about the Skins, about JC, and about The Zornado. They still swept the 2008 Eagles. That's even better than a playoff berth.
* So, the Patriots beat the Cardinals 47-7 on Sunday and are a win away from finishing 11-5 while the Cardinals are one loss away from going .500. And the Pats still need help to make the playoffs while Leinart and Co. are guaranteed a HOME playoff game? What a league.
* It's time to extend congratulations to Jeff Sherman and the Atlanta Falcons on a stunning 2008 season. Sunday's win in Minnesota clinched a playoff berth for the Dirty Birds and with a win and a Panthers loss this week, Atlanta would actually win the NFC South and have a first round bye! Who saw this coming? Jeff Sherman did. He called for them to be the most surprising team in the NFL this season way back in August. (Of course he also called for them to be the league's most disappointing team as well but we'll just pretend that never happened. That guy toes the line better than any politician out there.)
* This was such a crazy weekend in the NFL that even the blog managed to make money. (And not just on fantasy football. My dumb bets won, too. Must be one of those variance things that Bennett's always talking about.) In the process, I learned several things about betting the NFL -
1. Just because a team has to win, doesn't mean they will. I thought I learned that lesson years ago but apparently not. The Eagles, Broncos, and Bucs are all examples of teams that choked away very winnable games on Sunday and jeopardized their playoff status in the process.
2. When it's cold outside you should be betting against Brett Favre. He's getting too old for this shit.
3. The only thing worse than a ball busting bookie is a gossipy one. This kid I'm going through right now has about as much discretion as an 8th grade girl talking about cute boys in the schoolyard. At least hold comments until after the games are over please, sir.
* We can all agree that booking my bets is the easiest job in America. The second easiest? How about being general manager of the New York Yankees? Things didn't work out last season so let's just throw piles of money at every big name free agent available and assume that will work. Mark Teixeira is a giant douche.
By the way, Austin texted me soon after the news broke. All he said was: "120 wins?"
I didn't respond.
* Speaking of Austin, he and I locked up a fantasy league championship on Monday night and in the process once again posted the highest score of the week. I'd like to thank DeAngelo Williams, Maurice Jones-Drew, Brandon Marshall, Steve Smith, Brandon Jacobs, Randy Moss, and everyone who made this title possible. Even you Robbie Gould. Better luck next year, Ed.
I also managed to win the championship game of Mantasy Football this weekend thanks to my star QB Peyton Manning's precision passing and my opponent's star player Brian Westbrook getting shut down by the Burgundy and Gold defense. If only I was as good at betting on sports as I am in fantasy football.
* Austin and I are on the verge of being labeled fantasy football snobs but who are the biggest sports gambling snobs out there? I have compiled a list of the biggest gambling snobs at work and will put it to your vote to determine who is the most insufferable. I will leave Hoffy out of this because A) He doesn't work with us any more and B) This is to determine the biggest sports betting snob, not the biggest snob.
Just kidding, pal.
Well, kind of.
Okay, here are the candidates:
The Favorite: Chris Bennett.
When you go around telling people you are "Sharp sharp" you are going to make this list. You're not only going to make this list, you're going to be the betting favorite. Actually, you're not only going to be the betting favorite, you're going to be like the Eagles scout team facing the AFC Pro Bowlers. That's right - A huge chalk. There's no doubt that CB is sharp. He's so sharp, I want to check his birth certificate to see if he was born in Washington state. But there are some who say he is more concerned with getting good numbers than he is with cashing tickets. And he does have a tendency to look down on the less mathematically skilled bettors around him. I'll agree that he is the favorite at this point but let's look at a few others that deserve to be in this conversation before we crown his ass.
The Challenger: Matt Metcalf.
If you tell this kid you made a bet, there are only two possible responses you'll get: "How much are you going to lay off on the other side?" or "Seems dumb." That's it. He won't say anything else. He is not afraid to criticize anyone: Bettors, books, sharps, squares, sharp squares, square squares, sharp degenerates, square drunks, The Hoff, even his own partners. The argument for Matt not being the biggest sports gambling snob is that he has made a lot of money gambling and therefore has earned the right to be cocky about it. But the debate is not over who has the right to be a snob or not, it's over who IS a snob. Judgmental is snobby. I don't see how we can leave "The Big Guy" out of this conversation.
The Darkhorse: Jeff Sherman
Jeff's not the biggest sports gambling snob. I just wanted to talk about him in the blog because it annoys CB. Did you guys know that J.S. runs his own golf website? It's a nice looking site, too. I like it so much that when I was told I needed to pick a contest name for a college bowl challenge I am in, I chose GolfOdds.com as my handle to give Jeff and his site some (much needed) publicity.
But instead of thanking me, the guy threated to sue me! Unbelievable.
Maybe I will try to make a case for him as the biggest sports betting snob. He did mock me the other day for contemplating taking 8.5 points on an NFL side in which his group got 9, that being such a key number. And his group mocked me all week for betting the Ravens +5 before deciding to pounce on that 5.5 on Saturday night. That ended up making a huge difference of course what with the Ravens winning straight up. (That team he took 9 on won straight up too, by the way.) Jeff was too big for the MHI, too big for Charlie's bowl challenge, too big to make bets in person, too big to read the blog, and worst of all, he is too big to watch NASCAR races on Sunday afternoons. Maybe he, not CB or Metcalf, is really the biggest sports gambling snob. Think about it.
The "I'm Not a Snob. I Think I'm Terrible at This Shit" Guy: Ed Salmons.
On a constant mission to convince everyone that he doesn't know what he's doing, while he wins bet after bet. I'm on to you, bro. You can play dumb all you want but I'm not buying what you're selling. I will say this for Ed - He's only a snob when it comes to futures betting. The guy gets a bet down on the Celtics at 200-1 last year and suddenly he's the king of futures betting. I'm at a point now where I'm rooting for the Cavaliers more to stick it to Ed than I am for the potential pay day in June. According to him, if you money line it out there's no value on any future ticket in the city. He mocks everyone who bets anything. But at least he is consistent about it and at least he's got the character to do it to their face. He's probably not the biggest snob, but I'm going to put him in the poll just to make sure.
I was recently asked to write previews for a handful of college bowl games for PlanetBlacksburg.com. Here's a link to the article - Silly would be a compliment to this slop.
I should point out that only 8 of those previews were penned by yours truly. The others were done by equally stupid kids in Virginia. I should also point out that while doing those write ups, I researched the games and I ended up betting on just about every one I did a preview of. I may have to revisit the concept of blog memberships in the very near future.
Remember when I used to post picks on the blog?
I took TCU -2.5 (-101) tonight in the Poinsettia Bowl. But you would already know that if you came within 50 feet of my bookie this week. Why did I bet it? Because I wrote that dopey preview and talked myself into it.
Remember when I used to have trivia in the blog?
Trivia Question for Tuesday - When was the last time an 11-5 NFL team failed to make the playoffs?
(Yes, I do have Patriots to make the playoffs at +210 and am prepared to bitch if they get left out for the AFC West "champion."
Enjoy the holidays.
Sunday, December 21, 2008
Saturday, December 20, 2008
Milton Bradley Speaks
.... and takes the following: Titans, Chiefs**, Redskins, Rams, Lions, Seahawks, Raiders
The Jesse Jackson Bowl is set.
Enjoy the MHI.
The Jesse Jackson Bowl is set.
Enjoy the MHI.
The word mancrush
.... gets thrown around pretty liberally these days but even I'll admit that my infatuation with LeBron James is bordering on an obsession. The guy is a ridonkulous basketball player. He was downright bananas in the first quarter of last night's walk over win at Denver. And I really don't care if the guy is from Akron, Ohio and roots for the Yankees and Cowboys. That's no big deal. Austin is from Colorado and he roots for the Yankees and Ohio State. Sherman's from California and you can't get the guy to shut up about the Atlanta Falcons. Ed's from Philadelphia and he was rooting for the Penguins in last year's Eastern Conference Final(s)!!
Besides, my love affair with Bron is nothing compared to some of the other mancrushes out there: Joe Buck on Tony Romo. Ed on Mark Martin. Austin on Alex Rodriguez. Ed on Ty Conklin. Bennett on Holdsclaw. Austin on Tony Romo. Ed on Matt Ryan. Jorgen on himself. These are all examples of wannabe bromances that greatly surpass my liking LBJ. So I'm not going to apologize for it. And I'm going to hang on to my Cavaliers to win it all tickets even if Ed thinks they have about as much value as his ticket on the Raiders 'Over' wins.
It's the quarterfinals of the Murray Holiday Invitational and the tension is mounting. Here are this week's picks:
"+ Units": Cowboys, Browns, Saints, Texans, Falcons
"The Player": Cowboys**, Browns, Rams, Falcons, Panthers, Raiders, Buccaneers
"Bennie Silman": Chiefs, Bengals, Rams, Bills, Raiders
"Angelo Dundee": Ravens**, Titans, Chiefs, Cardinals, Falcons, Jets, Chargers
"Darts At a Board": Ravens, Titans, Redskins, Seahawks, Falcons, Chargers
"The Dealer": Cowboys, Saints**, Rams, Broncos, Falcons, Panthers, Chargers
"Mr. Salmon": Dolphins**, Patriots, Panthers, Raiders, Redskins
"Milton Bradley":
** - 2 point money ball pick.
Living up to his handle, "Milton Bradley" has yet to submit any picks as of 2:00 PM Saturday. That is in spite of the fact that we've been talking about it at work, that he personally pointed out to me that he had the highest week 1 score, and that it's the only thing I've talked about on this dumb blog in 2 weeks. I talked to "Mr. Salmon" this morning and he said that he wants MB to have a chance to make his picks so I will be extending the time limit for him per his opponent's wishes. However, if we receive nothing from MB by kickoff, Mr. S will receive a free pass into next weekend's Final Four.
I actually won a bowl bet today. Must have been a variance.
Big game tonight as the precise surgeon himself, Tony Romo, and his anonymous teammates take on the Ravens. Most of you probably expect me to root for a Ravens win but I'm actually hoping for a tie. That would make next week's Romos-Eagles game that much more interesting.
Enjoy the game.
Besides, my love affair with Bron is nothing compared to some of the other mancrushes out there: Joe Buck on Tony Romo. Ed on Mark Martin. Austin on Alex Rodriguez. Ed on Ty Conklin. Bennett on Holdsclaw. Austin on Tony Romo. Ed on Matt Ryan. Jorgen on himself. These are all examples of wannabe bromances that greatly surpass my liking LBJ. So I'm not going to apologize for it. And I'm going to hang on to my Cavaliers to win it all tickets even if Ed thinks they have about as much value as his ticket on the Raiders 'Over' wins.
It's the quarterfinals of the Murray Holiday Invitational and the tension is mounting. Here are this week's picks:
"+ Units": Cowboys, Browns, Saints, Texans, Falcons
"The Player": Cowboys**, Browns, Rams, Falcons, Panthers, Raiders, Buccaneers
"Bennie Silman": Chiefs, Bengals, Rams, Bills, Raiders
"Angelo Dundee": Ravens**, Titans, Chiefs, Cardinals, Falcons, Jets, Chargers
"Darts At a Board": Ravens, Titans, Redskins, Seahawks, Falcons, Chargers
"The Dealer": Cowboys, Saints**, Rams, Broncos, Falcons, Panthers, Chargers
"Mr. Salmon": Dolphins**, Patriots, Panthers, Raiders, Redskins
"Milton Bradley":
** - 2 point money ball pick.
Living up to his handle, "Milton Bradley" has yet to submit any picks as of 2:00 PM Saturday. That is in spite of the fact that we've been talking about it at work, that he personally pointed out to me that he had the highest week 1 score, and that it's the only thing I've talked about on this dumb blog in 2 weeks. I talked to "Mr. Salmon" this morning and he said that he wants MB to have a chance to make his picks so I will be extending the time limit for him per his opponent's wishes. However, if we receive nothing from MB by kickoff, Mr. S will receive a free pass into next weekend's Final Four.
I actually won a bowl bet today. Must have been a variance.
Big game tonight as the precise surgeon himself, Tony Romo, and his anonymous teammates take on the Ravens. Most of you probably expect me to root for a Ravens win but I'm actually hoping for a tie. That would make next week's Romos-Eagles game that much more interesting.
Enjoy the game.
Thursday, December 18, 2008
It wasn't easy
.... but eventually we found a winner of our 8th seed pool: Andrew Ross aka "The Dealer." Ross will be going up against my sister in the quarterfinals this weekend.
Here are the official match ups:
* The Jesse Jackson Bowl: "Milton Bradley" vs. "Mr. Salmon"
MB had his pick of any opponent he wanted and he called out Mr. S. Choose your words carefully in this one, gentlemen.
* The Gator Bowl: "Bennie Silman" vs. "Angelo Dundee"
BS was one of the biggest standouts during Round 1. But can he come through again with all the pressures of the quarterfinals and beat a calculating sharp like AD?
* The Blackjack at Murray's House Bowl: "+ Units" vs. "The Player"
This ain't the first time these two combatants have tangled in an event hosted by me. "+ Units" has come out on top more often than not and he may be the greatest sports bettor in the history of the world. "The Player" will have his hands full.
* The I'm Really Glad I'm Not Part of This Bowl Bowl: "Darts At a Board" vs. "The Dealer"
It took three different votes but "The Dealer" finally gets a shot against "Darts At a Board." Can she really make it two weeks in a row?
We will be using all the same rules as Round 1 with the following exceptions:
* Saturday's game between the Ravens and the Tony Romos is in play. However, Monday's game between the Packers and Bears is still off limits.
* This week all players have the OPTION of picking a "Money Ball" game which will be worth +2 for a win or -2 for a loss. This is not mandatory.
Here are the lines:
Ravens (+4) @ Cowboys
Steelers @ Titans (+2.5)
Dolphins @ Chiefs (+3.5)
Cardinals (+7.5) @ Patriots
Bengals (+2.5) @ Browns
Eagles @ Redskins (+5.5)
49ers @ Rams (+5)
Falcons (+3.5) @ Vikings
Saints @ Lions (+6.5)
Panthers (+3.5) @ Giants
Jets @ Seahawks (+4.5)
Texans @ Raiders (+7)
Bills (+7) @ Broncos
Chargers (+3.5) @ Buccaneers
You can pick between 5-7 games. Picks must be in to me by Friday night at midnight.
Enjoy the contest.
Here are the official match ups:
* The Jesse Jackson Bowl: "Milton Bradley" vs. "Mr. Salmon"
MB had his pick of any opponent he wanted and he called out Mr. S. Choose your words carefully in this one, gentlemen.
* The Gator Bowl: "Bennie Silman" vs. "Angelo Dundee"
BS was one of the biggest standouts during Round 1. But can he come through again with all the pressures of the quarterfinals and beat a calculating sharp like AD?
* The Blackjack at Murray's House Bowl: "+ Units" vs. "The Player"
This ain't the first time these two combatants have tangled in an event hosted by me. "+ Units" has come out on top more often than not and he may be the greatest sports bettor in the history of the world. "The Player" will have his hands full.
* The I'm Really Glad I'm Not Part of This Bowl Bowl: "Darts At a Board" vs. "The Dealer"
It took three different votes but "The Dealer" finally gets a shot against "Darts At a Board." Can she really make it two weeks in a row?
We will be using all the same rules as Round 1 with the following exceptions:
* Saturday's game between the Ravens and the Tony Romos is in play. However, Monday's game between the Packers and Bears is still off limits.
* This week all players have the OPTION of picking a "Money Ball" game which will be worth +2 for a win or -2 for a loss. This is not mandatory.
Here are the lines:
Ravens (+4) @ Cowboys
Steelers @ Titans (+2.5)
Dolphins @ Chiefs (+3.5)
Cardinals (+7.5) @ Patriots
Bengals (+2.5) @ Browns
Eagles @ Redskins (+5.5)
49ers @ Rams (+5)
Falcons (+3.5) @ Vikings
Saints @ Lions (+6.5)
Panthers (+3.5) @ Giants
Jets @ Seahawks (+4.5)
Texans @ Raiders (+7)
Bills (+7) @ Broncos
Chargers (+3.5) @ Buccaneers
You can pick between 5-7 games. Picks must be in to me by Friday night at midnight.
Enjoy the contest.
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
What is it about the NFL
.... and ties? The tie has been such a huge part of this NFL season that it has even spilled over to the Murray Holiday Invitational. Ross and I both received 5 votes, so I'm putting it to another vote. Polls close at midnight so hurry up.
Some additional MHI notes:
* The winner of the poll will be playing my sister in the quarterfinals. She gets the first seed because she did have the most wins with 5.
* Having said that, it's been pointed out to me that player "Milton Bradley" actually had a higher Round 1 score, going 4-1-1 which is +3.5 points and better than my sister's 5-2, +3. Therefore, I gave MB the option of picking his quarterfinal opponent and he hand-selected "Mr. Salmon." So we have "Milton Bradley" vs "Mr. Salmon" in the first annual Jesse Jackson Bowl.
* The other two set quarterfinals are as follows:
"Bennie Silman" vs. "Angelo Dundee" in the Gator Bowl.
"The Player" vs. "+ Units" in the Blackjack at Murray's House Bowl.
Tomorrow I'll post all the official games and the official spreads we will be using. They are the same ones from the SuperContest.
Good luck to all.
Some additional MHI notes:
* The winner of the poll will be playing my sister in the quarterfinals. She gets the first seed because she did have the most wins with 5.
* Having said that, it's been pointed out to me that player "Milton Bradley" actually had a higher Round 1 score, going 4-1-1 which is +3.5 points and better than my sister's 5-2, +3. Therefore, I gave MB the option of picking his quarterfinal opponent and he hand-selected "Mr. Salmon." So we have "Milton Bradley" vs "Mr. Salmon" in the first annual Jesse Jackson Bowl.
* The other two set quarterfinals are as follows:
"Bennie Silman" vs. "Angelo Dundee" in the Gator Bowl.
"The Player" vs. "+ Units" in the Blackjack at Murray's House Bowl.
Tomorrow I'll post all the official games and the official spreads we will be using. They are the same ones from the SuperContest.
Good luck to all.
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Week 1 of the Murray Holiday Invitational
.... had a little bit of everything: Mocking, complaining, whining, more mocking, a near tie, and Jeff watching from afar wishing he was part of it. What an event. When the dust cleared, the following cappers were through to this weekend's quarterfinals:
* "Darts At a Board"
* "+ Units"
* "Bennie Silman"
* "Milton Bradley"
* "Mr. Salmon"
* "Angelo Dundee"
* "The Player"
Here are some notes from Round 1:
* "Darts At a Board" is the youngest person in the field, the least experienced gambler, the only female, and the only person who doesn't live in Las Vegas and either currently work at a sports book or formerly worked at one. She also finished with the highest Week 1 score out of a group of 14, going 5-2.
* 4 of the 14 people in the field finished winless. That means that with the option of picking up to 7 NFL sides at stale numbers, 29% of us were unable to pick a single winner.
* The award for the worst performance in the field goes to "Fernando" aka "The Blog" aka me. My excuse? The pressures of hosting the event was too much for me to handle. The truth? I don't have any idea what I'm doing.
* I will say that if I was going to lose in Round 1, I'm glad it was to Matt. No one embraced the MHI more enthusiastically than Matt did, which came as a very pleasant surprise to me. I have to admit that I thought "The Big Guy" would consider himself to be above such an event but in fact it has been the exact opposite. For the purposes of the MHI, Metcalf is very much the anti-Sherman.
I still wish my little sister hadn't picked 5 more winners than me, though.
Congrats to all who advanced.
By now most of you are aware that two of our competitors dropped out, forcing me to condense the field to 14 at the last minute. That means that we need one more capper to round out the Elite Eight.
I will be putting up a poll to determine who claims that 8th and final spot. The poll will only be open for 24 hours so don't hesitate to put your vote in. And please only vote once. I know the Eds of the world probably have several computers in their estates but I have to insist that everyone only vote one time.
The winner of the poll will be matched up against my little sister (The #1 seed) in this weekend's quarterfinal round.
Here are your choices:
* Mike Overend - Losing to a superstar like "+ Units" is nothing to be ashamed of. I also consider "NBA League Pass" to be the funniest handle in the field.
* Ed Salmons - Hands down the biggest NFL fan in the MHI. I know how much he'd love another opportunity to pick 7 sides in this ridiculously bad league that he loves so much.
* Chris Bennett - "One week is a small sample size. One week is a small sample size. One week is a small sample size. Don't look at me like that. It's called variance, dick."
* Mike Miller - Like Metcalf, Miller seemed to embrace the MHI. I'd be happy to see him have another chance to claim the crown.
* Andrew Ross - Nobody was rooting for him to lose to Austin. Nobody. If he gets back into the field, maybe he'll get another chance at AB later in the tourney.
* Jorgen Johnson - He's probably the biggest star of the blog and let's face it - his presence would be good for ratings.
* Amanda (Johnson) - She was too important to participate in Round 1. I'm putting her back in the poll and hoping she changes her mind if the people vote her in.
* Jeff Sherman - "Big Red" was too big of a deal to participate in the first round. What if we just skip him ahead to the quarterfinals? A match up between Jeff and my little sister might be the Game of the Century.
* Charlie Ludlow - Charlie arranged the Superbook's college bowl challenge and knows his college ball but could he handle the NFL sharps in the Murray Holiday Invitational? Only one way to find out.
* John Murray - I'd really prefer to not be chosen. And this isn't one of those things where I am just saying that as a reverse psychology thing to get in. I really, really don't want to. I know that I know nothing about the NFL. I don't need to get beat by my sister in a capping contest to reinforce it.
Okay, well that should sow up Ed's vote for me. The rest of you take your time but make sure you get out and vote for your favorite candidate before it's too late.
And some more notes just for the hell of it:
* I wasn't mad at Jeff when he mocked me for betting the Cavs to win it all at 20-1. I wasn't mad at him when he told me he thought my blog was stupid. I wasn't even mad at him when he refused to be in the Murray Holiday Invitational. But when he called me tonight to tell me he was making his line for the Redskins-49ers game and wanted to know if the Skins were mathematically eliminated from the playoffs, I lost it. He could have just looked that up online. It would have been really easy actually.
If Jeff had been in the room, I think the scene would have been comparable to George Brett going after the ump when his home run against the Yankees was changed to an out.
* I'm at a point now with Ed that I honestly believe if I came to work with a ticket on the Celtics to win their division at 100-1, he'd ask me what I'd make the price if Garnett, Allen, Pierce, and Rondo were all injured in a car accident and the C's had to go on without them. Let's just all agree that a future bet isn't good if Ed and Matt didn't bet it first.
* Speaking of future betting, my football bets did really well this season. Pretty much every live future I had either clinched or is now in position to win following Sunday's games. Next year I may put all my futures in and then go into hiding until the regular season is over so I can't blow all my profits betting week to week.
* Austin and I have created a fantasy juggernaut that simply cannot be stopped. Points from our quarterback? We don't need no stinkin' points from our QB. Still in first place with 2 weeks left....
* I will be writing previews of several college bowl games this season. I should note that I will be doing so under a friend's name and that I will be attempting to be "Funny" on his behalf, which will most likely render the previews unreadable. The first one will be a breakdown of Saturday's Eagle Bank Bowl. If that doesn't get you excited, you aren't human.
* I don't care what anyone says: Mike Tomlin's decision to have Big Ben spike the ball on first down was stupid. There was 50 seconds left. There's no need for gay panic, let alone Sherman-on-a-Tuesday-afternoon-while-CC-is-at-lunch panic. Take your time, run your play. Why give away a down when you only have 3 to get it into the end zone? The Steelers won any way so no one will ever remember that play but it was still stupid.
* The Eagles-Browns game was an abomination and just another nationally televised testament to how impossibly crappy Ed's league is. After the Eagles cruised down the field for an easy touchdown without any resistance whatsoever from the Browns "Defense," I decided I'd seen and heard enough and switched the TV to an old ep of Family Guy. Best decision I made all night.
* Eagles fans are amazing. They support an absolute rat of a franchise that hasn't won shit in more than 40 years. They have no loyalty whatsoever, even to players and coaches that have done well for them for years. They boo anyone and everything for no reason. They pick fights with women and children in the stands in an effort to make themselves appear to be tough but back down the second someone bigger than them says anything. And they walk around with their chests puffed out as if their team is some powerhouse that the whole league respects. I'll give you guys this - Philly is the best 8-5-1 team I've ever seen but it's still a 3rd place team in one of 8 divisions in an unbelievably terrible league. I am able to get through bad Redskins seasons like this one knowing that every Eagles fan on earth will die without ever seeing them win a Super Bowl.
That's it. I'm done.
* "Darts At a Board"
* "+ Units"
* "Bennie Silman"
* "Milton Bradley"
* "Mr. Salmon"
* "Angelo Dundee"
* "The Player"
Here are some notes from Round 1:
* "Darts At a Board" is the youngest person in the field, the least experienced gambler, the only female, and the only person who doesn't live in Las Vegas and either currently work at a sports book or formerly worked at one. She also finished with the highest Week 1 score out of a group of 14, going 5-2.
* 4 of the 14 people in the field finished winless. That means that with the option of picking up to 7 NFL sides at stale numbers, 29% of us were unable to pick a single winner.
* The award for the worst performance in the field goes to "Fernando" aka "The Blog" aka me. My excuse? The pressures of hosting the event was too much for me to handle. The truth? I don't have any idea what I'm doing.
* I will say that if I was going to lose in Round 1, I'm glad it was to Matt. No one embraced the MHI more enthusiastically than Matt did, which came as a very pleasant surprise to me. I have to admit that I thought "The Big Guy" would consider himself to be above such an event but in fact it has been the exact opposite. For the purposes of the MHI, Metcalf is very much the anti-Sherman.
I still wish my little sister hadn't picked 5 more winners than me, though.
Congrats to all who advanced.
By now most of you are aware that two of our competitors dropped out, forcing me to condense the field to 14 at the last minute. That means that we need one more capper to round out the Elite Eight.
I will be putting up a poll to determine who claims that 8th and final spot. The poll will only be open for 24 hours so don't hesitate to put your vote in. And please only vote once. I know the Eds of the world probably have several computers in their estates but I have to insist that everyone only vote one time.
The winner of the poll will be matched up against my little sister (The #1 seed) in this weekend's quarterfinal round.
Here are your choices:
* Mike Overend - Losing to a superstar like "+ Units" is nothing to be ashamed of. I also consider "NBA League Pass" to be the funniest handle in the field.
* Ed Salmons - Hands down the biggest NFL fan in the MHI. I know how much he'd love another opportunity to pick 7 sides in this ridiculously bad league that he loves so much.
* Chris Bennett - "One week is a small sample size. One week is a small sample size. One week is a small sample size. Don't look at me like that. It's called variance, dick."
* Mike Miller - Like Metcalf, Miller seemed to embrace the MHI. I'd be happy to see him have another chance to claim the crown.
* Andrew Ross - Nobody was rooting for him to lose to Austin. Nobody. If he gets back into the field, maybe he'll get another chance at AB later in the tourney.
* Jorgen Johnson - He's probably the biggest star of the blog and let's face it - his presence would be good for ratings.
* Amanda (Johnson) - She was too important to participate in Round 1. I'm putting her back in the poll and hoping she changes her mind if the people vote her in.
* Jeff Sherman - "Big Red" was too big of a deal to participate in the first round. What if we just skip him ahead to the quarterfinals? A match up between Jeff and my little sister might be the Game of the Century.
* Charlie Ludlow - Charlie arranged the Superbook's college bowl challenge and knows his college ball but could he handle the NFL sharps in the Murray Holiday Invitational? Only one way to find out.
* John Murray - I'd really prefer to not be chosen. And this isn't one of those things where I am just saying that as a reverse psychology thing to get in. I really, really don't want to. I know that I know nothing about the NFL. I don't need to get beat by my sister in a capping contest to reinforce it.
Okay, well that should sow up Ed's vote for me. The rest of you take your time but make sure you get out and vote for your favorite candidate before it's too late.
And some more notes just for the hell of it:
* I wasn't mad at Jeff when he mocked me for betting the Cavs to win it all at 20-1. I wasn't mad at him when he told me he thought my blog was stupid. I wasn't even mad at him when he refused to be in the Murray Holiday Invitational. But when he called me tonight to tell me he was making his line for the Redskins-49ers game and wanted to know if the Skins were mathematically eliminated from the playoffs, I lost it. He could have just looked that up online. It would have been really easy actually.
If Jeff had been in the room, I think the scene would have been comparable to George Brett going after the ump when his home run against the Yankees was changed to an out.
* I'm at a point now with Ed that I honestly believe if I came to work with a ticket on the Celtics to win their division at 100-1, he'd ask me what I'd make the price if Garnett, Allen, Pierce, and Rondo were all injured in a car accident and the C's had to go on without them. Let's just all agree that a future bet isn't good if Ed and Matt didn't bet it first.
* Speaking of future betting, my football bets did really well this season. Pretty much every live future I had either clinched or is now in position to win following Sunday's games. Next year I may put all my futures in and then go into hiding until the regular season is over so I can't blow all my profits betting week to week.
* Austin and I have created a fantasy juggernaut that simply cannot be stopped. Points from our quarterback? We don't need no stinkin' points from our QB. Still in first place with 2 weeks left....
* I will be writing previews of several college bowl games this season. I should note that I will be doing so under a friend's name and that I will be attempting to be "Funny" on his behalf, which will most likely render the previews unreadable. The first one will be a breakdown of Saturday's Eagle Bank Bowl. If that doesn't get you excited, you aren't human.
* I don't care what anyone says: Mike Tomlin's decision to have Big Ben spike the ball on first down was stupid. There was 50 seconds left. There's no need for gay panic, let alone Sherman-on-a-Tuesday-afternoon-while-CC-is-at-lunch panic. Take your time, run your play. Why give away a down when you only have 3 to get it into the end zone? The Steelers won any way so no one will ever remember that play but it was still stupid.
* The Eagles-Browns game was an abomination and just another nationally televised testament to how impossibly crappy Ed's league is. After the Eagles cruised down the field for an easy touchdown without any resistance whatsoever from the Browns "Defense," I decided I'd seen and heard enough and switched the TV to an old ep of Family Guy. Best decision I made all night.
* Eagles fans are amazing. They support an absolute rat of a franchise that hasn't won shit in more than 40 years. They have no loyalty whatsoever, even to players and coaches that have done well for them for years. They boo anyone and everything for no reason. They pick fights with women and children in the stands in an effort to make themselves appear to be tough but back down the second someone bigger than them says anything. And they walk around with their chests puffed out as if their team is some powerhouse that the whole league respects. I'll give you guys this - Philly is the best 8-5-1 team I've ever seen but it's still a 3rd place team in one of 8 divisions in an unbelievably terrible league. I am able to get through bad Redskins seasons like this one knowing that every Eagles fan on earth will die without ever seeing them win a Super Bowl.
That's it. I'm done.
Saturday, December 13, 2008
When you put together a contest
.... like the blog's Murray Holiday Invitational, you need to be careful about who you invite. I take full responsibility for the chaos that ensued last night over the refusal by entrant "Big Red" to submit his picks. I did everything I could to get BR to participate but his demands were just too unreasonable. I think it all started when Jeff signed with superagent Scott Boras. The bottom line is that Jeff thought he was too big for the event and in the end he was right. I have to admit - I'm a little impressed. I think "The Big Guy" put it best when he said that it wasn't like I could have got Tiger Woods or Michael Jordan for this event. So what made me think I could get Sherman?
I don't know what I was thinking but it's time to move on. In the end this may work out for the best. "Fountain Blue" was also too busy to make any selections, so I will simply condense the field from 8 bowl games to 7 and pit "Louis Vuitton" and "Milton Bradley" against each other in the first annual "What did you major in? Oh, well I majored in gaming so my classes were probably a lot more interesting than anything you studied" Bowl. Now that we only have 7 bowl games, we can have the 7 winners and one wild card entrant advance to the next round. The logical solution is to have the highest score among all the losing players advance, so I am not doing that. Instead we will put it to a vote on Monday morning to determine the 8th member of the Elite Eight. (Pause for Chris Bennett's head to explode.)
Okay, here are the picks:
"+ Units": Cardinals, Ravens, Cowboys, Lions, Rams, Broncos
"NBA League Pass": Falcons, Jets, Titans, Ravens, Broncos, Giants
"Mr. Three & Out": Falcons, Rams, Ravens, Cardinals, Broncos, Packers, Titans
"Darts At a Board": Bills, Jaguars, Steelers, Vikings, Raiders, Giants, Texans
"Pit Bull": Falcons, Jets, Packers, Cardinals, Broncos
"Mr. Salmon": Titans, Rams, Patriots, Broncos, Skins, Chiefs
"Fernando": Packers, Falcons, Titans, Ravens, Cardinals, Raiders, Giants
"Bennie Silman": Jaguars, Rams, Ravens, Vikings, Cowboys
"The Player": Colts, 49ers, Rams, Bills, Broncos, Patriots, Cowboys
"The Dealer": Colts, Steelers, Chargers, Redskins, Panthers, Seahawks, Dolphins
"The Talented Mr. Roto:" Redskins, Falcons, 49ers, Rams, Raiders, Chargers, Jets
"Angelo Dundee": Lions, Redskins, Titans, Steelers, Broncos, Patriots, Giants
"Louis Vuitton": Lions, 49ers, Jets, Ravens, Raiders
"Milton Bradley": Raiders, Chiefs, Bengals, Texans, Rams, Jaguars
Here are some notes regarding the Round 1 picks:
* Make sure I got your picks right. I'm watching the Georgetown-Memphis game as I'm doing this and I could have easily made a mistake.
* The award for best strategy has to go to Ed. He tried to make picks in both the Bengals and Eagles games. Why? Because you get double the points if your game ends tied. That's just smart thinking.
* The award for paying the least attention to the rules also goes to Ed. I clearly stated that the contest was for Sunday's games only and no one else picked the Monday Night game. Not even my little sister.
* If one of these bowls were to be "Flexed" to prime time it would have to be the one pitting Chris Bennett against my sister. That match up has a little bit of everything: The longest and stupidest bowl name in human history, the uberstar capper, considered by many to be the best gambler this city has ever known, the Cinderella that the media and all of America is pulling for, and they are going head-to-head in 4 games! It just doesn't get any better than that.
* The "Matt Metcalf Bowl" also has the makings of a classic showdown. When Matt made his picks, he was even nice enough to point out which of them are "Old School" and which are "New School." I feel like he's just making this shit up at this point. Either way, he and I are going head-to-head in 3 games and only have one throw away game (We both picked Baltimore.) I also want to thank Matt for doing his best to get Jeff involved. I know how hard Jeff is to get a hold of and I appreciate your efforts.
* My plans to name the event The Murray Holiday Invitational Presented by GolfOdds.com fell through, so if any of you know of someone interested in sponsoring the tournament (Or if you are personally interested and have 5 bucks to spare) please let me know.
I've been blogging too much lately.
Enjoy the game.
I don't know what I was thinking but it's time to move on. In the end this may work out for the best. "Fountain Blue" was also too busy to make any selections, so I will simply condense the field from 8 bowl games to 7 and pit "Louis Vuitton" and "Milton Bradley" against each other in the first annual "What did you major in? Oh, well I majored in gaming so my classes were probably a lot more interesting than anything you studied" Bowl. Now that we only have 7 bowl games, we can have the 7 winners and one wild card entrant advance to the next round. The logical solution is to have the highest score among all the losing players advance, so I am not doing that. Instead we will put it to a vote on Monday morning to determine the 8th member of the Elite Eight. (Pause for Chris Bennett's head to explode.)
Okay, here are the picks:
"+ Units": Cardinals, Ravens, Cowboys, Lions, Rams, Broncos
"NBA League Pass": Falcons, Jets, Titans, Ravens, Broncos, Giants
"Mr. Three & Out": Falcons, Rams, Ravens, Cardinals, Broncos, Packers, Titans
"Darts At a Board": Bills, Jaguars, Steelers, Vikings, Raiders, Giants, Texans
"Pit Bull": Falcons, Jets, Packers, Cardinals, Broncos
"Mr. Salmon": Titans, Rams, Patriots, Broncos, Skins, Chiefs
"Fernando": Packers, Falcons, Titans, Ravens, Cardinals, Raiders, Giants
"Bennie Silman": Jaguars, Rams, Ravens, Vikings, Cowboys
"The Player": Colts, 49ers, Rams, Bills, Broncos, Patriots, Cowboys
"The Dealer": Colts, Steelers, Chargers, Redskins, Panthers, Seahawks, Dolphins
"The Talented Mr. Roto:" Redskins, Falcons, 49ers, Rams, Raiders, Chargers, Jets
"Angelo Dundee": Lions, Redskins, Titans, Steelers, Broncos, Patriots, Giants
"Louis Vuitton": Lions, 49ers, Jets, Ravens, Raiders
"Milton Bradley": Raiders, Chiefs, Bengals, Texans, Rams, Jaguars
Here are some notes regarding the Round 1 picks:
* Make sure I got your picks right. I'm watching the Georgetown-Memphis game as I'm doing this and I could have easily made a mistake.
* The award for best strategy has to go to Ed. He tried to make picks in both the Bengals and Eagles games. Why? Because you get double the points if your game ends tied. That's just smart thinking.
* The award for paying the least attention to the rules also goes to Ed. I clearly stated that the contest was for Sunday's games only and no one else picked the Monday Night game. Not even my little sister.
* If one of these bowls were to be "Flexed" to prime time it would have to be the one pitting Chris Bennett against my sister. That match up has a little bit of everything: The longest and stupidest bowl name in human history, the uberstar capper, considered by many to be the best gambler this city has ever known, the Cinderella that the media and all of America is pulling for, and they are going head-to-head in 4 games! It just doesn't get any better than that.
* The "Matt Metcalf Bowl" also has the makings of a classic showdown. When Matt made his picks, he was even nice enough to point out which of them are "Old School" and which are "New School." I feel like he's just making this shit up at this point. Either way, he and I are going head-to-head in 3 games and only have one throw away game (We both picked Baltimore.) I also want to thank Matt for doing his best to get Jeff involved. I know how hard Jeff is to get a hold of and I appreciate your efforts.
* My plans to name the event The Murray Holiday Invitational Presented by GolfOdds.com fell through, so if any of you know of someone interested in sponsoring the tournament (Or if you are personally interested and have 5 bucks to spare) please let me know.
I've been blogging too much lately.
Enjoy the game.
Friday, December 12, 2008
People love interesting writing
.... and I really enjoyed this column from Page 2's Bill Simmons about bad Christmas gifts for the NFL fan in your life. My favorite is #28, a game ball used in last month's epic 13-13 tie between the Eagles and Bengals. In fact, I think that gift is so funny that I'm going to use my Christmas bonus to buy it for Ed.
What was that? Oh, really.... Oh, okay, I, uh, I wasn't aware of that.... Yeah.... Well.... I'll tell you what - I'll get it for him anyway if he wins the Murray Holiday Invitational. (Not too much risk there with CB and "The H" involved.)
Speaking of the MHI, you guys need to crack down and get your picks in. When I told my sister about it, she submitted her plays right away. So what are all you "Sharps" waiting for?
One thing I've found amusing lately is the different ways people react to being called a "Sharp." There's basically three different ways people take it:
1. "Yeah, no shit."
Chris Bennett is definitely the best at this. If you call him a sharp he usually just says nothing as if his sharpness is so obvious and so understood that he doesn't need to acknowledge it. Sometimes he will reply by snickering and saying "Well, yeah I am" or he will just make a face that says "Yeah, no shit." Out of everyone I know who is routinely called a sharp, I present that CB handles it best.
2. "Shut up, John. Stop mocking, dick.... You're such an rat, dude."
This one is a dead heat between Hoffy and Jeff because they both react the exact same way every time I call them sharp or compliment them on their fine cell phones. I just don't get this. Scotty and Jeff both ARE sharp. And their iPhones really are cool. So why can't I just mention it literally every time I see them, usually in a mocking tone, with a grin on my face? Is that so bad? I don't get these guys. They need to take lessons from CB.
3. "Oh, yeah I'm real sharp..... (Looks back for my reaction which is usually a big smile) I don't know shit about this stuff..... (Still looking at me to gauge my reaction to try determine if I am serious or mocking him....) So and so (Usually Bennett) is the real sharp."
Ed has perfected this one. Any time I call him sharp he immediately mocks himself before looking at me to see if I'm being serious or not. Ed actually is sharp so I'm not sure why he needs a sharp square like me to validate him but it's still funny.
I'm done for one day. I'd like to write more. I just don't have any material.
Get your picks in. I'm looking at you, Austin.
Enjoy the game.
What was that? Oh, really.... Oh, okay, I, uh, I wasn't aware of that.... Yeah.... Well.... I'll tell you what - I'll get it for him anyway if he wins the Murray Holiday Invitational. (Not too much risk there with CB and "The H" involved.)
Speaking of the MHI, you guys need to crack down and get your picks in. When I told my sister about it, she submitted her plays right away. So what are all you "Sharps" waiting for?
One thing I've found amusing lately is the different ways people react to being called a "Sharp." There's basically three different ways people take it:
1. "Yeah, no shit."
Chris Bennett is definitely the best at this. If you call him a sharp he usually just says nothing as if his sharpness is so obvious and so understood that he doesn't need to acknowledge it. Sometimes he will reply by snickering and saying "Well, yeah I am" or he will just make a face that says "Yeah, no shit." Out of everyone I know who is routinely called a sharp, I present that CB handles it best.
2. "Shut up, John. Stop mocking, dick.... You're such an rat, dude."
This one is a dead heat between Hoffy and Jeff because they both react the exact same way every time I call them sharp or compliment them on their fine cell phones. I just don't get this. Scotty and Jeff both ARE sharp. And their iPhones really are cool. So why can't I just mention it literally every time I see them, usually in a mocking tone, with a grin on my face? Is that so bad? I don't get these guys. They need to take lessons from CB.
3. "Oh, yeah I'm real sharp..... (Looks back for my reaction which is usually a big smile) I don't know shit about this stuff..... (Still looking at me to gauge my reaction to try determine if I am serious or mocking him....) So and so (Usually Bennett) is the real sharp."
Ed has perfected this one. Any time I call him sharp he immediately mocks himself before looking at me to see if I'm being serious or not. Ed actually is sharp so I'm not sure why he needs a sharp square like me to validate him but it's still funny.
I'm done for one day. I'd like to write more. I just don't have any material.
Get your picks in. I'm looking at you, Austin.
Sent from my iPhone
Enjoy the game.
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
The Murray Holiday Invitational
.... will commence this Sunday and the excitement at the SuperBook is palpable. This tournament will feature a lot of big names, some of the most respected minds in the industry, feared cappers, banned cappers, and a red hot riverboat gambler who some claim is the offspring of old Uncle Billy himself.
Here are the guidelines for Round 1:
* Each player must pick a minimum of 5 NFL SIDES, Sunday's games only. However, you are allowed to pick up to 7 games. That's 5 min, 7 max.
* Each win is plus 1 point.
* Each loss is minus 1 point.
* Each push is plus half a point.
* If your game ends in a tie, you receive 2 points. Now I don't mean that you took a team plus 3 and they lost by 3. The actual game itself must end in a TIE. If you pick a game that ends tied, you will receive 2 points regardless of the side you are on. For Ed.
* All picks must be submitted to me (Whether by text message, voice mail, e-mail, or a note) by Midnight Friday.
* We will be using the Hilton SuperContest lines, which I am posting below:
Packers @ Jaguars (+2.5)
Lions (+17) @ Colts
Redskins @ Bengals (+6.5)
Bucs (+3) @ Falcons
49ers (+6.5) @ Dolphins
Seahawks @ Rams (+3)
Bills (+7) @ Jets
Titans @ Texans (+3)
Steelers (+2) @ Ravens
Broncos (+7.5) @ Panthers
Chargers @ Chiefs (+5)
Vikings (+3) @ Cardinals
Patriots @ Raiders (+7)
Giants (+3) @ Cowboys
(I realize that this will lead the Bennett's of the world to think they are getting some sort of advantage when they take Lions +17 when the market is at Lions +16.5 on Friday but there's no better way to do this so deal with it.)
* The 16 competitors will be matched up with one another in a head-to-head format. The 8 winners of this week's games will move on to the quarterfinals, which will take place in Week 16 of the NFL regular season.
* The plan was to give some of our elite cappers (Hoffy, CB, etc...) byes to the next round so they wouldn't have to waste their precious time competing against pedestrian gamblers like the rest of us, but in the end I determined that if they want to prove their worth as the best in the industry, they will have to navigate their way through as many rounds as us normal guys.
Here are the 1st round match ups:
* The Albert City Bowl: "Louis Vuitton" vs. "Fountain Blue"
There will be a house divided this week as these two go head-to-head in the MHI. I'm installing "Vuitton" as a slight favorite but I could definitely see this one way going either way. I just hope that this isn't the beginning of the end for one of the blog's most popular pairs.
* The Sweet Science Bowl: "The Talented Mr. Roto" vs. "Angelo Dundee"
This will be one of our most interesting match ups as we have two super sharps who cut their teeth in the boxing ring clashing on the gridiron. "The Talented Mr. Roto" is one of the top fantasy sports gurus in Las Vegas and a veteran of the handicapping circuit. But to get through to the Elite Eight, he will have to best one of the more calculating players in the field. This one will be close.
* The Matt Metcalf Bowl: "Bennie Silman" vs. "Fernando"
This match up will allow us to finally answer the age old question of who is a better handicapper: 2008 Matt or 1995 Matt. You're probably wondering - How did Matt handicap and bet on games when he was 7 years old? Well by all accounts he not only did it but was very good at it. By going up against someone who bets the same way he did all those years ago, we'll be able to find out what, if anything, he has learned.
* The "I Can't Get Any Work Done Out Here, Ed" Bowl: "Milton Bradley" vs. "Big Red"
On paper, this looks like a complete mismatch. One guy has been on the shelf all week with various ailments. The other is so widely respected by his peers that he can't even walk into a sports book without causing gay panic. But The Murray Holiday Invitational has historically been full of upsets and the stage may be set for one here. "Big Red" is an extremely busy man and he may not have the time to put together the kind of solid card one will need to advance in a tournament of this magnitude.
One other wrinkle: "Big Red's" agent called and requested that I pay him an appearance fee for being in the contest. (Although I'm pretty sure the "Agent" was just BR disguising his voice.) Obviously, if you have heard me talking about my bets you know I have no money to pay such fees. Stay tuned.
* The "I Check" Bowl: "The Player" vs. "The Dealer"
This one has more built in hostility than any of our other match ups. It's the poker player vs. the dealer. It's Ohio State vs. Michigan. It's the manager of one of the last place teams in Thug League IX vs. the manager of one of the other last place teams in Thug League IX. These guys just flat out don't get along. This one's too close to call.
* The Palm Villas Bowl: "NBA League Pass" vs. "+ Units"
There's nothing quite like two neighbors duking it out on the field of battle and that's what we have in this one. No word yet on whether the loser will be egging the apartment of the winner, although I can only hope that my contest leads to that kind of illegal activity. It's hard to go against "+ Units" in this one. His combined record across all sports over the last week is something like 39-2. The guy is incredible. Let's just say that if I woke up a few of the bums in the sports book and paid them to race around the parking lot, I'm pretty sure that "+ Units" would be able to pick the winner.
* The Stoneys Bowl: "Pit Bull" vs. "Mr. Salmon"
Just last week these two were hanging out at the local hotspot, one of them with his mother in tow. (Who would get drunk in front of their Mom in Vegas? That's just not cool. Oh, wait.... What was I talking about again....? Let's move on....) The fun times are over for these guys and they must enter the ring from opposite corners. This game may not have the rivalry angle some of the others have, or superstar cappers like "+ Units" involved but it has all the makings of a classic.
* The "I'm better than you. No seriously I am. Stop looking at me like that. I'm not kidding, I really am better than you. Okay, you can make that face all you want but I'm not going to take it back and it won't change the fact that I am better than you because I really am. What's that? How am I better than you? How much time you got, buddy? I'm better than you in every way possible and this contest won't do anything to prove me wrong. This is stupid anyway. You're an idiot, John. I'm done with this thing." Bowl: "Mr. Three & Out" vs. "Darts At a Board"
A sharp sharp industry insider clashes with someone who has never made a bet in her life. Let's get ready to see tears shed over a "Small sample size."
After the first round is over and we have whittled the MHI down to 8 players, I will reseed the field for next week's quarterfinals.
I should also note that while The Murray Holiday Invitational is a free contest, side bets are encouraged and mocking is a must. Be aggressive and try to be funny. Get your picks in.
Good luck.
And enjoy the game.
Here are the guidelines for Round 1:
* Each player must pick a minimum of 5 NFL SIDES, Sunday's games only. However, you are allowed to pick up to 7 games. That's 5 min, 7 max.
* Each win is plus 1 point.
* Each loss is minus 1 point.
* Each push is plus half a point.
* If your game ends in a tie, you receive 2 points. Now I don't mean that you took a team plus 3 and they lost by 3. The actual game itself must end in a TIE. If you pick a game that ends tied, you will receive 2 points regardless of the side you are on. For Ed.
* All picks must be submitted to me (Whether by text message, voice mail, e-mail, or a note) by Midnight Friday.
* We will be using the Hilton SuperContest lines, which I am posting below:
Packers @ Jaguars (+2.5)
Lions (+17) @ Colts
Redskins @ Bengals (+6.5)
Bucs (+3) @ Falcons
49ers (+6.5) @ Dolphins
Seahawks @ Rams (+3)
Bills (+7) @ Jets
Titans @ Texans (+3)
Steelers (+2) @ Ravens
Broncos (+7.5) @ Panthers
Chargers @ Chiefs (+5)
Vikings (+3) @ Cardinals
Patriots @ Raiders (+7)
Giants (+3) @ Cowboys
(I realize that this will lead the Bennett's of the world to think they are getting some sort of advantage when they take Lions +17 when the market is at Lions +16.5 on Friday but there's no better way to do this so deal with it.)
* The 16 competitors will be matched up with one another in a head-to-head format. The 8 winners of this week's games will move on to the quarterfinals, which will take place in Week 16 of the NFL regular season.
* The plan was to give some of our elite cappers (Hoffy, CB, etc...) byes to the next round so they wouldn't have to waste their precious time competing against pedestrian gamblers like the rest of us, but in the end I determined that if they want to prove their worth as the best in the industry, they will have to navigate their way through as many rounds as us normal guys.
Here are the 1st round match ups:
* The Albert City Bowl: "Louis Vuitton" vs. "Fountain Blue"
There will be a house divided this week as these two go head-to-head in the MHI. I'm installing "Vuitton" as a slight favorite but I could definitely see this one way going either way. I just hope that this isn't the beginning of the end for one of the blog's most popular pairs.
* The Sweet Science Bowl: "The Talented Mr. Roto" vs. "Angelo Dundee"
This will be one of our most interesting match ups as we have two super sharps who cut their teeth in the boxing ring clashing on the gridiron. "The Talented Mr. Roto" is one of the top fantasy sports gurus in Las Vegas and a veteran of the handicapping circuit. But to get through to the Elite Eight, he will have to best one of the more calculating players in the field. This one will be close.
* The Matt Metcalf Bowl: "Bennie Silman" vs. "Fernando"
This match up will allow us to finally answer the age old question of who is a better handicapper: 2008 Matt or 1995 Matt. You're probably wondering - How did Matt handicap and bet on games when he was 7 years old? Well by all accounts he not only did it but was very good at it. By going up against someone who bets the same way he did all those years ago, we'll be able to find out what, if anything, he has learned.
* The "I Can't Get Any Work Done Out Here, Ed" Bowl: "Milton Bradley" vs. "Big Red"
On paper, this looks like a complete mismatch. One guy has been on the shelf all week with various ailments. The other is so widely respected by his peers that he can't even walk into a sports book without causing gay panic. But The Murray Holiday Invitational has historically been full of upsets and the stage may be set for one here. "Big Red" is an extremely busy man and he may not have the time to put together the kind of solid card one will need to advance in a tournament of this magnitude.
One other wrinkle: "Big Red's" agent called and requested that I pay him an appearance fee for being in the contest. (Although I'm pretty sure the "Agent" was just BR disguising his voice.) Obviously, if you have heard me talking about my bets you know I have no money to pay such fees. Stay tuned.
* The "I Check" Bowl: "The Player" vs. "The Dealer"
This one has more built in hostility than any of our other match ups. It's the poker player vs. the dealer. It's Ohio State vs. Michigan. It's the manager of one of the last place teams in Thug League IX vs. the manager of one of the other last place teams in Thug League IX. These guys just flat out don't get along. This one's too close to call.
* The Palm Villas Bowl: "NBA League Pass" vs. "+ Units"
There's nothing quite like two neighbors duking it out on the field of battle and that's what we have in this one. No word yet on whether the loser will be egging the apartment of the winner, although I can only hope that my contest leads to that kind of illegal activity. It's hard to go against "+ Units" in this one. His combined record across all sports over the last week is something like 39-2. The guy is incredible. Let's just say that if I woke up a few of the bums in the sports book and paid them to race around the parking lot, I'm pretty sure that "+ Units" would be able to pick the winner.
* The Stoneys Bowl: "Pit Bull" vs. "Mr. Salmon"
Just last week these two were hanging out at the local hotspot, one of them with his mother in tow. (Who would get drunk in front of their Mom in Vegas? That's just not cool. Oh, wait.... What was I talking about again....? Let's move on....) The fun times are over for these guys and they must enter the ring from opposite corners. This game may not have the rivalry angle some of the others have, or superstar cappers like "+ Units" involved but it has all the makings of a classic.
* The "I'm better than you. No seriously I am. Stop looking at me like that. I'm not kidding, I really am better than you. Okay, you can make that face all you want but I'm not going to take it back and it won't change the fact that I am better than you because I really am. What's that? How am I better than you? How much time you got, buddy? I'm better than you in every way possible and this contest won't do anything to prove me wrong. This is stupid anyway. You're an idiot, John. I'm done with this thing." Bowl: "Mr. Three & Out" vs. "Darts At a Board"
A sharp sharp industry insider clashes with someone who has never made a bet in her life. Let's get ready to see tears shed over a "Small sample size."
After the first round is over and we have whittled the MHI down to 8 players, I will reseed the field for next week's quarterfinals.
I should also note that while The Murray Holiday Invitational is a free contest, side bets are encouraged and mocking is a must. Be aggressive and try to be funny. Get your picks in.
Good luck.
And enjoy the game.
Sunday, December 7, 2008
Call Me the Oscar De La Hoya
.... of blogging, as lately I have simply not shown up. Like the Golden Boy, I am clearly past my prime but unlike Oscar, I won't be receiving a 10 figure payout for completely mailing it in. Instead, all I get is dumb questions from people asking me when I'm going to blog again. The answer: Whenever I f'ing feel like it.
The Cowboys-Steelers game is starting and I figured I could try one of two things during the game. My first thought was to take a shot every time Joe Buck said something borderline non-hetero about Tony Romo after any mediocre-to-stupid play Romo makes. But I figured that if I tried that I'd most likely be dead by halftime and I have to go to work later, so I've opted to blog during the game instead.
Having said that, I do think that could make for a fun drinking game for you and your buddies in the future. Here are the rules: Watch a Cowboys game being called by Joe Buck and Troy Aikman (So any Cowboys game) and take a shot every time Buck goes off ridiculously overpraising Romo for no apparent reason. If you are still alive at halftime, you win, and you are a world class drinker. For the record, I recommend doing this during a game in which the Cowboys are not a heavy favorite because Romo tends to pad his stats in games like that and the verbal fellashing from Buck could leave you in an early grave by the end of the first quarter.
Enjoy.
* When a noted NFL SuperFan/amateur meteorologist like Ed Salmons comes to you with a lock 'Under' bet like he did in today's Eagles/Giants game, you would be wise to listen to him. Eli Manning was terrible today. If I was a Giants fan I'd be pretty concerned. Quarterbacks that look like complete garbage in December home games can't just flip the switch in January and wind up in the Super Bowl. No, I'm pretty sure that would never happen.... I hit both the 1H under and the game under thanks to Ed. Nice call, bro. I wouldn't want to be up against that guy in any kind of NFL capping contest.
* Speaking of that, I have not given up on plans to hold such an event. I know it probably seems like I'm dragging my feet on this thing, but it's hard to come up with a fair format when you have both an NFL heavyweight like Ed and a sports gambling wunderkind like Bennett involved. I may just let them go at it head-to-head for 3 weeks, while the rest of us watch from a distance in awe of their sharpness.
* Incredibly and perhaps excruciatingly, I'm not done with the Ed stuff yet. He made me call people who were at the South Florida-West Virginia game last night in Morgantown to get a full weather report moments before the game kicked off. I tried to tell him that by 8 o'clock local time on the day of the last game of the season, all my friends would be in roughly the same state The H is in on a typical Monday afternoon. The first kid I called didn't answer so I left him a voice mail and called someone else who gave me a full breakdown of the weather from his seat, most which proved to be completely wrong. At some point during the 2nd quarter, the first kid called me back to give me a full weather report. I interrupted him to say that by this point I was already watching the game on TV and I knew everything he was saying already. He then paused for a second and proceeded to catalog everything he had to drink that day.
Yes, that first kid was in fact Cliff. I love that guy.
* My NFL sleeper pick on the Texans has gone up in flames this season but it wasn't as bad of a pick as their record would indicate. Houston started 0-4 after a heartbreaking overtime loss in Jacksonville and a home collapse of epic proportions against the Colts. Since then, they are a very respectable 6-3, despite their starting quarterback Matt Schaub missing several games with an injury. Reverse those two early season losses and Houston is 8-5 and right in the thick of the AFC Playoff race. They will be a team to watch in 2009.
* Alabama gave Florida everything they could handle yesterday but in the end the Gators were just too much for the Tide. Tim Tebow was so good in that game that I hear Gary Danielson had to change his shorts at halftime. Tebow is a great player and seems to be an incredibly good person off the field, so how come everyone I know roots against the guy? Bennett openly hates him (Shocker.) My brother had a big bet on the Gators yesterday and I could hear the pain in his voice when Tebow threw a touchdown pass on the Gators opening drive because he dislikes #15 so much. Even "The Big Guy," a UF graduate, doesn't seem to like his team's Heisman Trophy winning quarterback.
The blog is going to go ahead and back Tebow. Yes, he is ridiculously overrated at times (One announcer even had the gall to talk about how Tebow had "Led" the Gators to the national championship two years ago when he took about 7-10 snaps a game) but he is a very good player and a perfect fit for Scumbag Meyer's offense. I also admire him for mocking the Big 12 and its many respectable "Defenses." I already bet Florida -1 vs Oklahoma for the BCS Championship game and I may end up betting more. I'll take my chances with Meyer and Tebow against "Big Game" Bob Stoops and a team that hasn't played a good defense all season.
* Most of the experts are predicting a Fiesta Bowl match up of Ohio State vs. Texas. What complete garbage. Ohio State played two good teams all season and lost both games, including being beat down by USC. I also don't like the fact that we saw Ohio vs. Texas 2006 and again in 2007. Can't we try to get some fresh match ups? I'd like to see Alabama vs. Texas. Instead, it sounds like the Tide is headed to the Sugar Bowl where they will most likely slaughter a Utah team that has no business being in the BCS, either. The Utes were very lucky to escape with a home win over Oregon State as a double digit favorite and only beat TCU (Also a home game) because of an epic choke job by the Horned Frogs kicker in the 4th quarter. Utah is the blog's pick as the biggest fraud in college football this season and I will definitely be going against them in whatever BCS bowl they are in.
* While I'm on the topic of college football and the BCS, I gotta do a rant about the ACC/Big East and whether or not they deserve automatic BCS bowl bids. Since Miami (FL), Virginia Tech, and Boston College ditched the Big East for the greener pastures of ACC football, both conferences have sent 3 teams to BCS bowl games. The Big East teams are 3-0 in those games (West Virginia over Georgia in the Sugar Bowl, Louisville over Wake Forest in the Orange Bowl, and West Virginia over Oklahoma in last year's Fiesta Bowl) while the ACC teams are 0-3 (Besides Wake's loss, they also had Virginia Tech lose to Kansas is last year's Orange Bowl and Florida State lose to Penn State in the Orange Bowl three years ago.) So why is the Big East constantly being questioned as to whether they deserve an automatic BCS bid? Since realignment, the conference is undefeated in BCS bowl games and they will have a great chance of making it 4-0 in this year's Orange Bowl with Cincinnati playing Virginia Tech. Until the Big East actually loses one of these games, people need to stop mocking the conference and point the finger at the garbage ACC.
Trivia Question for Sunday: Which franchise drafted West Virginia QB Pat White coming out of high school?
The fantasy team Austin and I share is just wrecking shit. Take that Ed. And Bennett. And anyone else who is rooting against us just to be a hater.
Oscar De La Hoya is a vagine.
Go Steelers.
Big Redskins game tonight. Maybe the power will go out at work and I won't be subjected to it.
And by the way - At the 12 minute mark of the 2nd quarter, the Cowboys have scored 0 points and Romo has been picked off, fumbled the ball away, fumbled another ball but was saved by that ridiculous tuck rule, and thrown a pass 10 feet over Terrell Owens' head on a 4th and 2. All Joe Buck has to say is that maybe Romo's having trouble in his first game since the splint came off his broken finger. Yeah, maybe. Or maybe playing on the road against the Steelers isn't quite the same as home games against the 49ers and Seahawks. Hard to say.
Enjoy the game.
The Cowboys-Steelers game is starting and I figured I could try one of two things during the game. My first thought was to take a shot every time Joe Buck said something borderline non-hetero about Tony Romo after any mediocre-to-stupid play Romo makes. But I figured that if I tried that I'd most likely be dead by halftime and I have to go to work later, so I've opted to blog during the game instead.
Having said that, I do think that could make for a fun drinking game for you and your buddies in the future. Here are the rules: Watch a Cowboys game being called by Joe Buck and Troy Aikman (So any Cowboys game) and take a shot every time Buck goes off ridiculously overpraising Romo for no apparent reason. If you are still alive at halftime, you win, and you are a world class drinker. For the record, I recommend doing this during a game in which the Cowboys are not a heavy favorite because Romo tends to pad his stats in games like that and the verbal fellashing from Buck could leave you in an early grave by the end of the first quarter.
Enjoy.
* When a noted NFL SuperFan/amateur meteorologist like Ed Salmons comes to you with a lock 'Under' bet like he did in today's Eagles/Giants game, you would be wise to listen to him. Eli Manning was terrible today. If I was a Giants fan I'd be pretty concerned. Quarterbacks that look like complete garbage in December home games can't just flip the switch in January and wind up in the Super Bowl. No, I'm pretty sure that would never happen.... I hit both the 1H under and the game under thanks to Ed. Nice call, bro. I wouldn't want to be up against that guy in any kind of NFL capping contest.
* Speaking of that, I have not given up on plans to hold such an event. I know it probably seems like I'm dragging my feet on this thing, but it's hard to come up with a fair format when you have both an NFL heavyweight like Ed and a sports gambling wunderkind like Bennett involved. I may just let them go at it head-to-head for 3 weeks, while the rest of us watch from a distance in awe of their sharpness.
* Incredibly and perhaps excruciatingly, I'm not done with the Ed stuff yet. He made me call people who were at the South Florida-West Virginia game last night in Morgantown to get a full weather report moments before the game kicked off. I tried to tell him that by 8 o'clock local time on the day of the last game of the season, all my friends would be in roughly the same state The H is in on a typical Monday afternoon. The first kid I called didn't answer so I left him a voice mail and called someone else who gave me a full breakdown of the weather from his seat, most which proved to be completely wrong. At some point during the 2nd quarter, the first kid called me back to give me a full weather report. I interrupted him to say that by this point I was already watching the game on TV and I knew everything he was saying already. He then paused for a second and proceeded to catalog everything he had to drink that day.
Yes, that first kid was in fact Cliff. I love that guy.
* My NFL sleeper pick on the Texans has gone up in flames this season but it wasn't as bad of a pick as their record would indicate. Houston started 0-4 after a heartbreaking overtime loss in Jacksonville and a home collapse of epic proportions against the Colts. Since then, they are a very respectable 6-3, despite their starting quarterback Matt Schaub missing several games with an injury. Reverse those two early season losses and Houston is 8-5 and right in the thick of the AFC Playoff race. They will be a team to watch in 2009.
* Alabama gave Florida everything they could handle yesterday but in the end the Gators were just too much for the Tide. Tim Tebow was so good in that game that I hear Gary Danielson had to change his shorts at halftime. Tebow is a great player and seems to be an incredibly good person off the field, so how come everyone I know roots against the guy? Bennett openly hates him (Shocker.) My brother had a big bet on the Gators yesterday and I could hear the pain in his voice when Tebow threw a touchdown pass on the Gators opening drive because he dislikes #15 so much. Even "The Big Guy," a UF graduate, doesn't seem to like his team's Heisman Trophy winning quarterback.
The blog is going to go ahead and back Tebow. Yes, he is ridiculously overrated at times (One announcer even had the gall to talk about how Tebow had "Led" the Gators to the national championship two years ago when he took about 7-10 snaps a game) but he is a very good player and a perfect fit for Scumbag Meyer's offense. I also admire him for mocking the Big 12 and its many respectable "Defenses." I already bet Florida -1 vs Oklahoma for the BCS Championship game and I may end up betting more. I'll take my chances with Meyer and Tebow against "Big Game" Bob Stoops and a team that hasn't played a good defense all season.
* Most of the experts are predicting a Fiesta Bowl match up of Ohio State vs. Texas. What complete garbage. Ohio State played two good teams all season and lost both games, including being beat down by USC. I also don't like the fact that we saw Ohio vs. Texas 2006 and again in 2007. Can't we try to get some fresh match ups? I'd like to see Alabama vs. Texas. Instead, it sounds like the Tide is headed to the Sugar Bowl where they will most likely slaughter a Utah team that has no business being in the BCS, either. The Utes were very lucky to escape with a home win over Oregon State as a double digit favorite and only beat TCU (Also a home game) because of an epic choke job by the Horned Frogs kicker in the 4th quarter. Utah is the blog's pick as the biggest fraud in college football this season and I will definitely be going against them in whatever BCS bowl they are in.
* While I'm on the topic of college football and the BCS, I gotta do a rant about the ACC/Big East and whether or not they deserve automatic BCS bowl bids. Since Miami (FL), Virginia Tech, and Boston College ditched the Big East for the greener pastures of ACC football, both conferences have sent 3 teams to BCS bowl games. The Big East teams are 3-0 in those games (West Virginia over Georgia in the Sugar Bowl, Louisville over Wake Forest in the Orange Bowl, and West Virginia over Oklahoma in last year's Fiesta Bowl) while the ACC teams are 0-3 (Besides Wake's loss, they also had Virginia Tech lose to Kansas is last year's Orange Bowl and Florida State lose to Penn State in the Orange Bowl three years ago.) So why is the Big East constantly being questioned as to whether they deserve an automatic BCS bid? Since realignment, the conference is undefeated in BCS bowl games and they will have a great chance of making it 4-0 in this year's Orange Bowl with Cincinnati playing Virginia Tech. Until the Big East actually loses one of these games, people need to stop mocking the conference and point the finger at the garbage ACC.
Trivia Question for Sunday: Which franchise drafted West Virginia QB Pat White coming out of high school?
The fantasy team Austin and I share is just wrecking shit. Take that Ed. And Bennett. And anyone else who is rooting against us just to be a hater.
Oscar De La Hoya is a vagine.
Go Steelers.
Big Redskins game tonight. Maybe the power will go out at work and I won't be subjected to it.
And by the way - At the 12 minute mark of the 2nd quarter, the Cowboys have scored 0 points and Romo has been picked off, fumbled the ball away, fumbled another ball but was saved by that ridiculous tuck rule, and thrown a pass 10 feet over Terrell Owens' head on a 4th and 2. All Joe Buck has to say is that maybe Romo's having trouble in his first game since the splint came off his broken finger. Yeah, maybe. Or maybe playing on the road against the Steelers isn't quite the same as home games against the 49ers and Seahawks. Hard to say.
Enjoy the game.
Saturday, November 29, 2008
In the tradition of the Stardust Invitational
.... I would like to hold a handicapping contest on my blog. It would take place over the final four weeks of the NFL regular season. I'm not yet sure of the exact guidelines or what the stakes would be but I know that the following rules would apply:
1. Ed has to be in it.
2. Bennett has to give strokes. In other words, if the competition is to see who can pick the most winners out of 5 during a given week, Chris only gets to pick 3 games. Or if the buy-in is $100, Chris has to put up $2,000. It just wouldn't be fair going head-to-head with him on a level playing field.
3. Jeff has to use an alias. The guy is such a big deal in this city that if it became known that he was in a handicapping contest, it could cause hysteria.
4. The Hoff has to be sober when he makes his picks. His drunk "Handicapping" is just too good.
5. Austin is only allowed to complain about the rules and what people are picking 5 times per week or he will be docked points.
Here are some potential formats:
* A bracket style tournament in which players are matched up head-to-head and must beat their opponent to advance to the next week. I think that's how the Stardust did it and I like it because it could lead to funny scenarios where players that have good weeks don't advance because their opponent was even better and players that struggled could advance because the other guy didn't make his picks or blew his brains in. Anything that promotes unfairness and complaining is a positive for this event.
* Every one could make picks for the next 4 weeks and at the conclusion of the regular season, a panel could vote on who to gets to advance to the championship round which would take place during the NFL playoffs. The panel would consist of eliminated players who would probably vote against the guy who eliminated them out of spite. We could also write a computer program that tells us who did the best instead of deciding it on the field. Or we could pull two names out of a hat and they could play in the championship round. We could even have players who did poorly in the regular season match up against each other for no reason at all as a tribute to the minor bowl games.
* Every one could pick 5 games during the last 4 weeks of the NFL regular season with each winner being worth 2 points. Then when the playoffs start, you pick every game and each winner is worth 20 points, rendering the regular season pick meaningless.
* My favorite format is a head-to-head one in which each winner you pick is worth 1 point, each loser you pick is -1. This way if there's only 2 games you like, only pick 2. If you don't think your opponent can pick winners, then pick nothing and take a score of 0 to mock him. I like any bracket scenario in which I can be the one who seeds the players. I'm sure that won't hurt anyone's feelings.
** Side bets are encouraged. Mocking is mandatory.
*** If a game you pick ends in a tie, you receive bonus points. For Ed.
I'm open to any suggestions as long as they are funny. The contest is open to anyone and everyone.
Bet you didn't think I'd blog two days in a row. I'm just in a giving mood I guess. Here are some more dumb thoughts you people read for reasons that are beyond me:
* Chris Bennett waiting this long to be named "Sharp of the Week" is the biggest injustice since Martin Scorcese had to wait until 2007 to win an Academy Award. (I chose that analogy because I consider Bennett and Scorcese to be relative equals in their respective fields of general sharpness and film making.) The problem is that CB has openly mocked the "Sharp of the Week" and since I take that award so seriously, I am having trouble giving it to him until he proves to me that he really wants it. Nice call on Clemson, bro.
* West Virginia was up 15-7 with the ball midway through the 4th quarter of yesterday's Backyard Brawl. And lost. To Pitt. Again. Bill Stewart is a moron. It would have been interesting to see what Paul Johnson could have done with Pat White and Noel Devine in his offense but instead the Mountaineers elected to go with the long time assistant instead of a proven, successful head football coach. Hopefully, they can go to the Insight.com Bowl.
* Tonight should be the last game of the Charlie Weis era in South Bend. Weis went to two BSC Bowls (Both blowout losses but at least he got there) playing with all of his predecessor's recruits and has done nothing with his own players. Years 3 and 4 are usually when a coach has all of his own guys in his system and that's when he's supposed to be winning. Instead, Weis is losing home games to Syracuse. Perhaps Notre Dame should make Paul Johnson an offer but they will probably waste their time pursuing bigger names like Urban Meyer or Jon Gruden.
* I rarely enjoy watching football games I have money on. The only exception is when my bet is for the game to go 'Under' the posted total. It's always funny to root for 2 yard FB dives and 4 yard gains off tackle that keep the clock moving. Any game in which you spend most of your time staring at the clock or looking at the linesman to see if he is winding his arm is fun. Even though I'm going to lose my bet because one of the teams can't stop the other, I'm still enjoying it.
* Sharp sharps call these things "Variances" but I like to put it a little more bluntly. If you had UCLA and the points last night you got fucked over. The blog had nothing riding on that game but I heard about it. And I heard enough to know that Arizona State bettors got very lucky. UCLA outgained ASU 306-122 in total yards and were getting 10 points. That situation probably produces a winner 99.9% of the time. But the Sun Devils benefited from an incredible 4 defensive TDs, all of which on turnovers by UCLA QB Kevin Craft. Tough break for the sharps in that game.
* Great article in this week's SI about Bucs LB Derrick Brooks and how he prepares for a game, what's going through his mind before and during a game, and even his thought process in the middle of a play. I thought it was particularly interesting that he watches college football games on Saturday's and takes notes on the tendencies of elite college players he thinks he may have to play against one day in the NFL.
I wonder if Tim Thomas watches college basketball games to scout future opponents. Hard to say for sure.
No new trivia today. Is it me or are these Ross brothers just hellbent on ruining the fun of the blog?
Plaxico Buress is an idiot.
Enjoy the game.
1. Ed has to be in it.
2. Bennett has to give strokes. In other words, if the competition is to see who can pick the most winners out of 5 during a given week, Chris only gets to pick 3 games. Or if the buy-in is $100, Chris has to put up $2,000. It just wouldn't be fair going head-to-head with him on a level playing field.
3. Jeff has to use an alias. The guy is such a big deal in this city that if it became known that he was in a handicapping contest, it could cause hysteria.
4. The Hoff has to be sober when he makes his picks. His drunk "Handicapping" is just too good.
5. Austin is only allowed to complain about the rules and what people are picking 5 times per week or he will be docked points.
Here are some potential formats:
* A bracket style tournament in which players are matched up head-to-head and must beat their opponent to advance to the next week. I think that's how the Stardust did it and I like it because it could lead to funny scenarios where players that have good weeks don't advance because their opponent was even better and players that struggled could advance because the other guy didn't make his picks or blew his brains in. Anything that promotes unfairness and complaining is a positive for this event.
* Every one could make picks for the next 4 weeks and at the conclusion of the regular season, a panel could vote on who to gets to advance to the championship round which would take place during the NFL playoffs. The panel would consist of eliminated players who would probably vote against the guy who eliminated them out of spite. We could also write a computer program that tells us who did the best instead of deciding it on the field. Or we could pull two names out of a hat and they could play in the championship round. We could even have players who did poorly in the regular season match up against each other for no reason at all as a tribute to the minor bowl games.
* Every one could pick 5 games during the last 4 weeks of the NFL regular season with each winner being worth 2 points. Then when the playoffs start, you pick every game and each winner is worth 20 points, rendering the regular season pick meaningless.
* My favorite format is a head-to-head one in which each winner you pick is worth 1 point, each loser you pick is -1. This way if there's only 2 games you like, only pick 2. If you don't think your opponent can pick winners, then pick nothing and take a score of 0 to mock him. I like any bracket scenario in which I can be the one who seeds the players. I'm sure that won't hurt anyone's feelings.
** Side bets are encouraged. Mocking is mandatory.
*** If a game you pick ends in a tie, you receive bonus points. For Ed.
I'm open to any suggestions as long as they are funny. The contest is open to anyone and everyone.
Bet you didn't think I'd blog two days in a row. I'm just in a giving mood I guess. Here are some more dumb thoughts you people read for reasons that are beyond me:
* Chris Bennett waiting this long to be named "Sharp of the Week" is the biggest injustice since Martin Scorcese had to wait until 2007 to win an Academy Award. (I chose that analogy because I consider Bennett and Scorcese to be relative equals in their respective fields of general sharpness and film making.) The problem is that CB has openly mocked the "Sharp of the Week" and since I take that award so seriously, I am having trouble giving it to him until he proves to me that he really wants it. Nice call on Clemson, bro.
* West Virginia was up 15-7 with the ball midway through the 4th quarter of yesterday's Backyard Brawl. And lost. To Pitt. Again. Bill Stewart is a moron. It would have been interesting to see what Paul Johnson could have done with Pat White and Noel Devine in his offense but instead the Mountaineers elected to go with the long time assistant instead of a proven, successful head football coach. Hopefully, they can go to the Insight.com Bowl.
* Tonight should be the last game of the Charlie Weis era in South Bend. Weis went to two BSC Bowls (Both blowout losses but at least he got there) playing with all of his predecessor's recruits and has done nothing with his own players. Years 3 and 4 are usually when a coach has all of his own guys in his system and that's when he's supposed to be winning. Instead, Weis is losing home games to Syracuse. Perhaps Notre Dame should make Paul Johnson an offer but they will probably waste their time pursuing bigger names like Urban Meyer or Jon Gruden.
* I rarely enjoy watching football games I have money on. The only exception is when my bet is for the game to go 'Under' the posted total. It's always funny to root for 2 yard FB dives and 4 yard gains off tackle that keep the clock moving. Any game in which you spend most of your time staring at the clock or looking at the linesman to see if he is winding his arm is fun. Even though I'm going to lose my bet because one of the teams can't stop the other, I'm still enjoying it.
* Sharp sharps call these things "Variances" but I like to put it a little more bluntly. If you had UCLA and the points last night you got fucked over. The blog had nothing riding on that game but I heard about it. And I heard enough to know that Arizona State bettors got very lucky. UCLA outgained ASU 306-122 in total yards and were getting 10 points. That situation probably produces a winner 99.9% of the time. But the Sun Devils benefited from an incredible 4 defensive TDs, all of which on turnovers by UCLA QB Kevin Craft. Tough break for the sharps in that game.
* Great article in this week's SI about Bucs LB Derrick Brooks and how he prepares for a game, what's going through his mind before and during a game, and even his thought process in the middle of a play. I thought it was particularly interesting that he watches college football games on Saturday's and takes notes on the tendencies of elite college players he thinks he may have to play against one day in the NFL.
I wonder if Tim Thomas watches college basketball games to scout future opponents. Hard to say for sure.
No new trivia today. Is it me or are these Ross brothers just hellbent on ruining the fun of the blog?
Plaxico Buress is an idiot.
Enjoy the game.
Friday, November 28, 2008
There's no doubt that
.... the option "Sherman" would have been a huge favorite had I been offering betting on who would win my most recent poll. But I have to admit that I was surprised to see how easily he ran away with it. Only two of the ballots cast were not for Jeff and poor Elaina didn't get a single vote. (Maybe she really does have better things to do in Blacksburg than read this garbage....) Amanda is on record saying that she would read the blog more often but claims she doesn't know the URL. (Such a liar....) But the people clearly don't believe Jeff when he says he has better things to do than read the blog. Sorry, bro - You're not fooling anyone.
I have a few thoughts about about yesterday's NFL action (They are almost all negative), some college basketball comments (Ditto) and I'll at least try to throw in some of the typical Hoffy, Jorgie, Ed, etc.... nonsense. I haven't blogged in a while because the last one was so well received I wanted to leave it up there for as long as possible.
Okay, that's bullshit. I just didn't feeling like doing one. Until now.
* The #1 problem I had with yesterday's NFL slate was that they were all just really, really crappy games. The Detroit Lions are barely an NFL team. From a competitive standpoint, the game was over about midway through the 1st quarter. I was up in time for the start of the game, thanks in part to a phone call from people on the East Coast who still don't understand the concept of time zones, and I tried to watch the game from the start. It was so bad that I literally gave up on it during the 1st quarter and tried to go back to sleep. (That would not have happened if I had action on the game.)
The Lions were completely manhandled at the line of scrimmage on both sides of the ball yesterday. They will have 3 of the first 33 picks in next April's draft and the only chance they have of being even remotely competitive in 2009 would be to use all of those picks on linemen. Look at what Bill Parcells did with the Dolphins: He drafted an offensive tackle 1st overall, a defensive end with the first pick in the second round and brought in a handful of other linemen through free agency. The Lions should at least attempt to do something similar. What will they do? Reach for a QB who isn't worthy of being the 1st overall pick just because they need one. (See: Smith, Alex.)
* The Titans-Lions game was crap but the Dallas game was just completely unwatchable for me. Joe Buck's shameless fawning over Tony Romo is beyond nauseating at this point. "Romo spins away from the defender and makes the pass! Complete!! Wow what a play by Romo!! Okay, that will bring up second and eight." I'll never forget a comment by Buck during last season's Redskins-Cowboys game in Dallas. The Redskins blitzed and Romo had to back up quickly and spin away from a linebacker to avoid a sack. It was a relatively athletic move and if he had just turned and thrown the ball out of bounds it would have been a good play. Instead he spun around and without even looking down the field he heaved it deep towards Terrell Owens. Unfortunately, there were three Redskins waiting down there and the ball landed in the hands of one of them, a good 5 yards short of Owens. It honestly looked like a throw one might make in a game of 500.
Buck's response: "Great play by Romo to get it down there."
Down there to who? To the Redskins?
If you had to point to one reason why Romo became such a big star it's probably because FOX insists on broadcasting every Dallas game on national TV, with a broadcast team of Buck and Aikman and Joe kissing Romo's ass throughout the game no matter how many terrible, boneheaded plays he makes. And people like Austin completely buy into the notion that this guy is somehow a great player because when he lobs the ball in the general vicinity of Owens or Jason Witten they come down with it. Maybe the Cowboys offense looked so good the last two games because Romo is "Back" or maybe, just maybe it's because the 49ers and Seahawks are a combined 5-18 this year. Hard to say.
* I made an effort to watch the Cardinals-Eagles game for NFL SuperFan Ed Salmons who flew across the United States just to attend an NFL game in person on a national holiday. That is true commitment to a sport he loves. Unfortunately, the Arizona Cardinals defense didn't make the trip with him. It really sucks that crummy teams like the Cardinals and Broncos and whoever wins the clusterfuck that is the NFC North will all be hosting postseason games this year while good teams from the NFC East and NFC South will be squeezed out. My favorite thing about the Eagles game was that the team told all of its fans that it was going to be a "Blackout" game and that they should all wear black. I didn't realize it was their homecoming game. Let's assume it lead to an exchange between Ed and his wife along the lines of:
Ed: Okay, I'm leaving to go watch this garbage game!
Mrs. Ed: Wait, Ed. Did you remember to wear a black shirt?
Ed: What? No. Why?
Mrs. Ed: They are having a "Blackout" tonight. All the fans are supposed to wear black.
Ed: Racist.
Mrs. Ed: What?
Ed: Nevermind.
Mrs. Ed: I laid out a black shirt for you. Didn't you see it?
(Ed hesitates as he contemplates going upstairs to change into a black shirt so that he will fit in with all of his Philadelphia brethren.)
Mrs. Ed: Ed?
Ed: (As he puts on the shirt) I hate this stupid league.
Mrs. Ed: Don't forget to wear a jacket, honey. It's going to be cold out there.
Ed: It's a luxury suite. I'm sure it's heated. I just hope they have plenty of Zima.... I gotta go. The limo's here.
By the way, I did notice a few scattered boos during the game last night, even as the Eagles were rolling to an easy win. What a great sports town.
* I really have no problem with the guy but I'm pretty sure that Tennessee basketball coach Bruce Pearl is a scumbag. He's always got a shiteating grin on his face. He's always bringing in "Transfers" from other schools. And let's not forget about that picture of him hanging out with the voluptuous Erin Andrews. I know he's a complete scumbag and he's trying to trick us all into thinking he's a fun and quirky guy by doing ridiculous stunts. I'm on to this guy and I want all 4 of you to be on to him, too.
* It would have been nice to spend Thanksgiving with my family like many of you. Or to spend it watching my favorite sport in person, the way Ed did. I took another approach. After watching hours of terrible football games (And forcing out a late night degenerate college basketball bet on Baylor) I hit the town with The Hoff. I know he's been compared to Matt Damon's character in The Departed and Don Cheadle's character in Boogie Nights in this space before, but the character he most closely resembles is really Dustin Hoffman's Rainman.
After we bet Baylor, Scott sat down to watch the game as one of the Providence kids made a goofy shot. I cursed and Scott asked me, "Wait, what do we have again?" Later that night, while watching the Nuggets-Hornets game at a bar, a kid made a shot and The H didn't even know which team was which despite the game being in the 4th quarter and him having made a bet on it sufficient enough to move the line. The guy is amazing.
He won both bets, by the way. But he seemed happiest when he noticed that the line moved 5 cents following his Nuggets bets. The Rainman.
Anyways, I never thought I'd experience a Thanksgiving night that featured games of pool at 2 AM with a stripper who was crammed into an outfit that didn't quite fit her. We had to pay for the games and buy her $8 shots at the bar and in exchange we could watch her spill out of her costume while she bent over to make a shot. No matter what either one of us says, we both took it too seriously and we both lost to the crazy bitch anyways. When I got home this morning, I realized that I really don't have much to be thankful for if that's how I'm spending a national holiday.
Trivia Question for Friday: Name 5 of the assistant coaches from the 1992 Green Bay Packers that went on to become NFL head coaches.
** Last Friday's Answer: I really have no idea. I was trying to look that up for Ed the other day and I couldn't find it and I was hoping someone else would do it for me if I posted it in the blog. Ross may very well be right but for now I'm going to go with Ed's theory that no such rules are in place and if that ever actually happened we'd see panic levels that would make Sherman on a Tuesday afternoon look like a cool customer.
I guess I'll watch Giants-Redskins on Sunday morning. Even though the Skins defense is dealing with numerous injuries to key guys and my brother is bringing his jinx girlfriend to the game. I hate sports.
Enjoy the game.
I have a few thoughts about about yesterday's NFL action (They are almost all negative), some college basketball comments (Ditto) and I'll at least try to throw in some of the typical Hoffy, Jorgie, Ed, etc.... nonsense. I haven't blogged in a while because the last one was so well received I wanted to leave it up there for as long as possible.
Okay, that's bullshit. I just didn't feeling like doing one. Until now.
* The #1 problem I had with yesterday's NFL slate was that they were all just really, really crappy games. The Detroit Lions are barely an NFL team. From a competitive standpoint, the game was over about midway through the 1st quarter. I was up in time for the start of the game, thanks in part to a phone call from people on the East Coast who still don't understand the concept of time zones, and I tried to watch the game from the start. It was so bad that I literally gave up on it during the 1st quarter and tried to go back to sleep. (That would not have happened if I had action on the game.)
The Lions were completely manhandled at the line of scrimmage on both sides of the ball yesterday. They will have 3 of the first 33 picks in next April's draft and the only chance they have of being even remotely competitive in 2009 would be to use all of those picks on linemen. Look at what Bill Parcells did with the Dolphins: He drafted an offensive tackle 1st overall, a defensive end with the first pick in the second round and brought in a handful of other linemen through free agency. The Lions should at least attempt to do something similar. What will they do? Reach for a QB who isn't worthy of being the 1st overall pick just because they need one. (See: Smith, Alex.)
* The Titans-Lions game was crap but the Dallas game was just completely unwatchable for me. Joe Buck's shameless fawning over Tony Romo is beyond nauseating at this point. "Romo spins away from the defender and makes the pass! Complete!! Wow what a play by Romo!! Okay, that will bring up second and eight." I'll never forget a comment by Buck during last season's Redskins-Cowboys game in Dallas. The Redskins blitzed and Romo had to back up quickly and spin away from a linebacker to avoid a sack. It was a relatively athletic move and if he had just turned and thrown the ball out of bounds it would have been a good play. Instead he spun around and without even looking down the field he heaved it deep towards Terrell Owens. Unfortunately, there were three Redskins waiting down there and the ball landed in the hands of one of them, a good 5 yards short of Owens. It honestly looked like a throw one might make in a game of 500.
Buck's response: "Great play by Romo to get it down there."
Down there to who? To the Redskins?
If you had to point to one reason why Romo became such a big star it's probably because FOX insists on broadcasting every Dallas game on national TV, with a broadcast team of Buck and Aikman and Joe kissing Romo's ass throughout the game no matter how many terrible, boneheaded plays he makes. And people like Austin completely buy into the notion that this guy is somehow a great player because when he lobs the ball in the general vicinity of Owens or Jason Witten they come down with it. Maybe the Cowboys offense looked so good the last two games because Romo is "Back" or maybe, just maybe it's because the 49ers and Seahawks are a combined 5-18 this year. Hard to say.
* I made an effort to watch the Cardinals-Eagles game for NFL SuperFan Ed Salmons who flew across the United States just to attend an NFL game in person on a national holiday. That is true commitment to a sport he loves. Unfortunately, the Arizona Cardinals defense didn't make the trip with him. It really sucks that crummy teams like the Cardinals and Broncos and whoever wins the clusterfuck that is the NFC North will all be hosting postseason games this year while good teams from the NFC East and NFC South will be squeezed out. My favorite thing about the Eagles game was that the team told all of its fans that it was going to be a "Blackout" game and that they should all wear black. I didn't realize it was their homecoming game. Let's assume it lead to an exchange between Ed and his wife along the lines of:
Ed: Okay, I'm leaving to go watch this garbage game!
Mrs. Ed: Wait, Ed. Did you remember to wear a black shirt?
Ed: What? No. Why?
Mrs. Ed: They are having a "Blackout" tonight. All the fans are supposed to wear black.
Ed: Racist.
Mrs. Ed: What?
Ed: Nevermind.
Mrs. Ed: I laid out a black shirt for you. Didn't you see it?
(Ed hesitates as he contemplates going upstairs to change into a black shirt so that he will fit in with all of his Philadelphia brethren.)
Mrs. Ed: Ed?
Ed: (As he puts on the shirt) I hate this stupid league.
Mrs. Ed: Don't forget to wear a jacket, honey. It's going to be cold out there.
Ed: It's a luxury suite. I'm sure it's heated. I just hope they have plenty of Zima.... I gotta go. The limo's here.
By the way, I did notice a few scattered boos during the game last night, even as the Eagles were rolling to an easy win. What a great sports town.
* I really have no problem with the guy but I'm pretty sure that Tennessee basketball coach Bruce Pearl is a scumbag. He's always got a shiteating grin on his face. He's always bringing in "Transfers" from other schools. And let's not forget about that picture of him hanging out with the voluptuous Erin Andrews. I know he's a complete scumbag and he's trying to trick us all into thinking he's a fun and quirky guy by doing ridiculous stunts. I'm on to this guy and I want all 4 of you to be on to him, too.
* It would have been nice to spend Thanksgiving with my family like many of you. Or to spend it watching my favorite sport in person, the way Ed did. I took another approach. After watching hours of terrible football games (And forcing out a late night degenerate college basketball bet on Baylor) I hit the town with The Hoff. I know he's been compared to Matt Damon's character in The Departed and Don Cheadle's character in Boogie Nights in this space before, but the character he most closely resembles is really Dustin Hoffman's Rainman.
After we bet Baylor, Scott sat down to watch the game as one of the Providence kids made a goofy shot. I cursed and Scott asked me, "Wait, what do we have again?" Later that night, while watching the Nuggets-Hornets game at a bar, a kid made a shot and The H didn't even know which team was which despite the game being in the 4th quarter and him having made a bet on it sufficient enough to move the line. The guy is amazing.
He won both bets, by the way. But he seemed happiest when he noticed that the line moved 5 cents following his Nuggets bets. The Rainman.
Anyways, I never thought I'd experience a Thanksgiving night that featured games of pool at 2 AM with a stripper who was crammed into an outfit that didn't quite fit her. We had to pay for the games and buy her $8 shots at the bar and in exchange we could watch her spill out of her costume while she bent over to make a shot. No matter what either one of us says, we both took it too seriously and we both lost to the crazy bitch anyways. When I got home this morning, I realized that I really don't have much to be thankful for if that's how I'm spending a national holiday.
Trivia Question for Friday: Name 5 of the assistant coaches from the 1992 Green Bay Packers that went on to become NFL head coaches.
** Last Friday's Answer: I really have no idea. I was trying to look that up for Ed the other day and I couldn't find it and I was hoping someone else would do it for me if I posted it in the blog. Ross may very well be right but for now I'm going to go with Ed's theory that no such rules are in place and if that ever actually happened we'd see panic levels that would make Sherman on a Tuesday afternoon look like a cool customer.
I guess I'll watch Giants-Redskins on Sunday morning. Even though the Skins defense is dealing with numerous injuries to key guys and my brother is bringing his jinx girlfriend to the game. I hate sports.
Enjoy the game.
Friday, November 21, 2008
Now that NASCAR is over
.... I guess I have to watch football on Sundays. It's not how I want to spend my Sunday afternoons but I have no choice until the Cup boys start running again in February. Don't get me wrong - I love the sport of football more than any other. But the league is just such complete garbage this year that it's hard to get excited about it. The coaching leaguewide is just abysmal. The level of QB play is so bad that Brady Quinn can come off the bench and actually look decent relative to the rest of the league in his first two starts. Half of the officials seem to be making up the rules as they go.
I'm mostly just disappointed that the Redskins are going through yet another November swoon, losing to mediocre teams like the Steelers and Cowboys at home and giving away any chance they had at a decent seed in the playoffs. They'll be lucky to even make it all now with great teams like Ed's Eagles and Jeff's Falcons nipping at their heels in the wild card race. Next year I'm going to try to be like Bennett and pretend I don't care any more and see if that helps ease the pain when the Skins piss away home games against crap teams. (I already know that it won't.)
I enjoyed this article by Bill Simmons about the disappearance of home field advantage in the NFL. The Redskins have no real home field advantage at FedEx Field because so many people just go to the games so they can tell their friends and co-workers "Yeah, I'm going to the Redskins game this weekend." They don't care if the team wins or loses and they certainly don't have the sense to help create a home field advantage. In fact, the Redskins even have signs on the JumboTron for these people that say "Quiet. Offense at Work." when the Skins have the ball or "Make Noise!!!" when the other team has it. It's a fuckin' embarrassment. The league has squeezed out the majority of people who get drunk and stand and cheer throughout the game to make room for more corporate people like Ed who just want to sit in their luxury suite and sip on wine. There just aren't enough people like my Dad (Passionate fans who also have the $$$ to pay the outrageous ticket costs) to fill a 90,000+ seat stadium. You can't even stand up at a Redskins game without having to look behind you to make sure you aren't blocking the view of some jackass who wants to sit there and flip through the program and play with his cell phone for 4 hours.
Everyone is so concerned about having home field advantage throughout the playoffs but the last 3 Super Bowl champions all played on wild card weekend. The '05 Steelers and '07 Giants both won 3 consecutive road playoff games to get to the Super Bowl and the '06 Colts had to win at Baltimore to get to the AFC Championship game. Home field advantage in the NFL is gone and I blame two groups of people: Greedy owners like Dan Snyder who want to put in luxury suites and club level seats everywhere, charge people ridiculously high prices, and squeeze out us Joe 12-packs, and elitists like Ed who buy up these fabulous seats the rest of us can't afford and then sit on their hands throughout the game.
For shame.
* Speaking of Ed, he got all mad at me on Sunday for not "Giving him" any of my Carl Edwards at 4-1 in the Cup race. Can you believe this guy? First of all, he told me on Saturday night that Edwards looked like garbage in practice and that he wouldn't have bet on him at 5-1. He'd also told me earlier in the week that LVSC sent Cousin Carl at 4 so naturally I assumed that Ed's boy had already grabbed some for their group. Also keep in mind that with the limits these books are taking on NASCAR these days (Whose fault is that?) the most I could have given Ed's crew would have been like $30 each. I don't like Matt tattling on me to Ed like a little kid. I don't like Ed threatening me for not giving his group a cut of my ticket. And I especially don't like the idea that I am expected to pay tribute to Ed by kicking money upstairs when I win a bet like he is some kind of Mob boss.
* Believe me Ed: You wouldn't want a share of everything I bet anyways, bro. Most of my stuff is complete slop. Look at my teasers with the Eagles and Jaguars last weekend. You guys want a piece of that? If there's anyone you should be trying to get a cut from it's The Hoff. The guy is amazing. He's even winning NBA side bets on full games. I honestly didn't think that was possible. The other day, Matt hilariously compared Hoffy to Matt Damon's character in The Departed saying that he thinks Billy Walters has spent years grooming Hoffman with the intention to one day have him infiltrate the sports book industry and dominate it from the inside. I thought that was really funny but I think the movie character Scott most reminds me of is the guy played by Don Cheadle in Boogie Nights. Remember the scene when he goes into the donut shop and it ends up being robbed and everyone inside is killed but him? He then finds himself standing alone in the middle of the shop with the cash register wide open and money hanging out of it. Now that's The Hoff.
* Speaking of movies, I'm surprised by how many of you haven't seen Boiler Room. That is a seriously funny movie and one of my favorite movies to quote, alongside Anchorman, Two For The Money, Top Gun, Super Troopers, and The 40 Year Old Virgin. Those of you who haven't seen Boiler Room should really get on that.
* Since this is (allegedly) a blog about sports gambling, I guess I am obligated to mention the play at the end of the Chargers-Steelers game. It definitely looked like a touchdown to me. I know that the kids would have been a lot happier with a Steelers cover. I also know that there was a certain group with the razor sharp number of Chargers +3 who were very pleased to see that touchdown not count. My official stance? I'd be completely indifferent but a few kids I book for laid the points with the Steelers so I'm glad the refs blew the call. What a league.
* I know I haven't talked about Jorgen in this space in a while. It's just difficult for me because every time I type his name, I start to choke up. The kid did make me a few bucks two weeks ago with his release on Iowa State to cover at Colorado. One could make the argument that Jorgie is a sharp sharp when it comes to Iowa State football. Jorgen says that he misses the people he used to work with at the Hilton very much but it seems to me that he's getting pretty comfortable at the Venetian. The last time I was there, Jorgen and the other writers were giving each other nicknames and joking around while they waited to punch their 4th ticket of the hour. And last night when I was with The Hoff and Jorgen's name came up, Scotty whipped out his IPhone and showed Franco and I pictures of Jorgen and Amanda. I know that Scott was just trying to show off his IPhone but it was still kind of weird.
Hoffman's exact reaction to the above paragraph: "I get FaceBook on my phone, dick."
(Okay, Scott that's all I have on you today. Can you scroll back up to the top and read the parts that didn't have your name in them, too? Thanks, bro.)
* Before I end this thing, I want to talk about the fantasy football team I co-manage with Austin. Let's think back to some of the greatest football teams of the last 25 years. The 1985 Bears come to mind. Last year's Patriots were pretty good. And, of course, this year's Eagles team with their flashy 5-4-1 record coming off last year's last place finish in the division is a true juggernaut. But I think the team Austin and I have compiled is better than any of them. Our WRs are Terrell Owens, Brandon Marshall, and Steve Smith. You'd be lucky to have a WR group like that in an 8 team league. Brandon Jacobs is running wild. Maurice Jones-Drew may set a record for most 2 TD/30 yards rushing games in NFL history. DeAngelo Williams is capable of busting a long run on any play. (Just imagine what we would be doing to this league if we had a quarterback.)
There are certain people at work (I'm not going to name names but I think we all know who they are) who are openly rooting against us winning this league. I would like to formally invite these people to suck my balls. Austin and I (Or me and Austin if that's easier for you to comprehend, Ed) will be winning the league. And we will be splitting the generous cash prize at the end of it. And I will be mentioning our triumph every day for the rest of my life. Not because I am really that proud of it. Just because I really enjoy busting CB's balls, especially when it's over something he is pretending to not care about.
Okay, I guess I am naming names after all.
Trivia Question for Friday: Donovan McNabb apparently knows nothing about the NFL's overtime rules. Let's see if you guys do. If there was an NFL playoff game that was still tied at the end of a second overtime, what would happen? In other words, is there a halftime? Do they kickoff again to start the third overtime? Or is the ball still where it was at the end of the second OT? If you can answer this one, I will be seriously impressed.
Saturday's Answer: Scott Caan's character "Richie" had that quote. I may have to go back to the Boiler Room well again for future trivia questions.
Need Michigan State and Oklahoma to win tomorrow. And I guess I'll sit through the Redskins game on Sunday. They'll win because every dummy who thinks he is sharp is grabbing that 3.5.
I'm going to see Jerry Seinfeld tonight at Caesars Palace.
You guys need to find something better to do than read my blog. Be more like Jeff. He has no time for this thing.... Or does he? Interesting poll question this week.
Enjoy the game.
I'm mostly just disappointed that the Redskins are going through yet another November swoon, losing to mediocre teams like the Steelers and Cowboys at home and giving away any chance they had at a decent seed in the playoffs. They'll be lucky to even make it all now with great teams like Ed's Eagles and Jeff's Falcons nipping at their heels in the wild card race. Next year I'm going to try to be like Bennett and pretend I don't care any more and see if that helps ease the pain when the Skins piss away home games against crap teams. (I already know that it won't.)
I enjoyed this article by Bill Simmons about the disappearance of home field advantage in the NFL. The Redskins have no real home field advantage at FedEx Field because so many people just go to the games so they can tell their friends and co-workers "Yeah, I'm going to the Redskins game this weekend." They don't care if the team wins or loses and they certainly don't have the sense to help create a home field advantage. In fact, the Redskins even have signs on the JumboTron for these people that say "Quiet. Offense at Work." when the Skins have the ball or "Make Noise!!!" when the other team has it. It's a fuckin' embarrassment. The league has squeezed out the majority of people who get drunk and stand and cheer throughout the game to make room for more corporate people like Ed who just want to sit in their luxury suite and sip on wine. There just aren't enough people like my Dad (Passionate fans who also have the $$$ to pay the outrageous ticket costs) to fill a 90,000+ seat stadium. You can't even stand up at a Redskins game without having to look behind you to make sure you aren't blocking the view of some jackass who wants to sit there and flip through the program and play with his cell phone for 4 hours.
Everyone is so concerned about having home field advantage throughout the playoffs but the last 3 Super Bowl champions all played on wild card weekend. The '05 Steelers and '07 Giants both won 3 consecutive road playoff games to get to the Super Bowl and the '06 Colts had to win at Baltimore to get to the AFC Championship game. Home field advantage in the NFL is gone and I blame two groups of people: Greedy owners like Dan Snyder who want to put in luxury suites and club level seats everywhere, charge people ridiculously high prices, and squeeze out us Joe 12-packs, and elitists like Ed who buy up these fabulous seats the rest of us can't afford and then sit on their hands throughout the game.
For shame.
* Speaking of Ed, he got all mad at me on Sunday for not "Giving him" any of my Carl Edwards at 4-1 in the Cup race. Can you believe this guy? First of all, he told me on Saturday night that Edwards looked like garbage in practice and that he wouldn't have bet on him at 5-1. He'd also told me earlier in the week that LVSC sent Cousin Carl at 4 so naturally I assumed that Ed's boy had already grabbed some for their group. Also keep in mind that with the limits these books are taking on NASCAR these days (Whose fault is that?) the most I could have given Ed's crew would have been like $30 each. I don't like Matt tattling on me to Ed like a little kid. I don't like Ed threatening me for not giving his group a cut of my ticket. And I especially don't like the idea that I am expected to pay tribute to Ed by kicking money upstairs when I win a bet like he is some kind of Mob boss.
* Believe me Ed: You wouldn't want a share of everything I bet anyways, bro. Most of my stuff is complete slop. Look at my teasers with the Eagles and Jaguars last weekend. You guys want a piece of that? If there's anyone you should be trying to get a cut from it's The Hoff. The guy is amazing. He's even winning NBA side bets on full games. I honestly didn't think that was possible. The other day, Matt hilariously compared Hoffy to Matt Damon's character in The Departed saying that he thinks Billy Walters has spent years grooming Hoffman with the intention to one day have him infiltrate the sports book industry and dominate it from the inside. I thought that was really funny but I think the movie character Scott most reminds me of is the guy played by Don Cheadle in Boogie Nights. Remember the scene when he goes into the donut shop and it ends up being robbed and everyone inside is killed but him? He then finds himself standing alone in the middle of the shop with the cash register wide open and money hanging out of it. Now that's The Hoff.
* Speaking of movies, I'm surprised by how many of you haven't seen Boiler Room. That is a seriously funny movie and one of my favorite movies to quote, alongside Anchorman, Two For The Money, Top Gun, Super Troopers, and The 40 Year Old Virgin. Those of you who haven't seen Boiler Room should really get on that.
* Since this is (allegedly) a blog about sports gambling, I guess I am obligated to mention the play at the end of the Chargers-Steelers game. It definitely looked like a touchdown to me. I know that the kids would have been a lot happier with a Steelers cover. I also know that there was a certain group with the razor sharp number of Chargers +3 who were very pleased to see that touchdown not count. My official stance? I'd be completely indifferent but a few kids I book for laid the points with the Steelers so I'm glad the refs blew the call. What a league.
* I know I haven't talked about Jorgen in this space in a while. It's just difficult for me because every time I type his name, I start to choke up. The kid did make me a few bucks two weeks ago with his release on Iowa State to cover at Colorado. One could make the argument that Jorgie is a sharp sharp when it comes to Iowa State football. Jorgen says that he misses the people he used to work with at the Hilton very much but it seems to me that he's getting pretty comfortable at the Venetian. The last time I was there, Jorgen and the other writers were giving each other nicknames and joking around while they waited to punch their 4th ticket of the hour. And last night when I was with The Hoff and Jorgen's name came up, Scotty whipped out his IPhone and showed Franco and I pictures of Jorgen and Amanda. I know that Scott was just trying to show off his IPhone but it was still kind of weird.
Hoffman's exact reaction to the above paragraph: "I get FaceBook on my phone, dick."
(Okay, Scott that's all I have on you today. Can you scroll back up to the top and read the parts that didn't have your name in them, too? Thanks, bro.)
* Before I end this thing, I want to talk about the fantasy football team I co-manage with Austin. Let's think back to some of the greatest football teams of the last 25 years. The 1985 Bears come to mind. Last year's Patriots were pretty good. And, of course, this year's Eagles team with their flashy 5-4-1 record coming off last year's last place finish in the division is a true juggernaut. But I think the team Austin and I have compiled is better than any of them. Our WRs are Terrell Owens, Brandon Marshall, and Steve Smith. You'd be lucky to have a WR group like that in an 8 team league. Brandon Jacobs is running wild. Maurice Jones-Drew may set a record for most 2 TD/30 yards rushing games in NFL history. DeAngelo Williams is capable of busting a long run on any play. (Just imagine what we would be doing to this league if we had a quarterback.)
There are certain people at work (I'm not going to name names but I think we all know who they are) who are openly rooting against us winning this league. I would like to formally invite these people to suck my balls. Austin and I (Or me and Austin if that's easier for you to comprehend, Ed) will be winning the league. And we will be splitting the generous cash prize at the end of it. And I will be mentioning our triumph every day for the rest of my life. Not because I am really that proud of it. Just because I really enjoy busting CB's balls, especially when it's over something he is pretending to not care about.
Okay, I guess I am naming names after all.
Trivia Question for Friday: Donovan McNabb apparently knows nothing about the NFL's overtime rules. Let's see if you guys do. If there was an NFL playoff game that was still tied at the end of a second overtime, what would happen? In other words, is there a halftime? Do they kickoff again to start the third overtime? Or is the ball still where it was at the end of the second OT? If you can answer this one, I will be seriously impressed.
Saturday's Answer: Scott Caan's character "Richie" had that quote. I may have to go back to the Boiler Room well again for future trivia questions.
Need Michigan State and Oklahoma to win tomorrow. And I guess I'll sit through the Redskins game on Sunday. They'll win because every dummy who thinks he is sharp is grabbing that 3.5.
I'm going to see Jerry Seinfeld tonight at Caesars Palace.
You guys need to find something better to do than read my blog. Be more like Jeff. He has no time for this thing.... Or does he? Interesting poll question this week.
Enjoy the game.
Saturday, November 15, 2008
Every time I get excited about
.... one of my blogs, I go directly to Jeff and ask him what he thought. Then Jeff laughs, looks away, laughs again, looks back at me to gauge my reaction, and then laughs some more. Translation: He didn't read it. Again. When I ask him why, he tells me that it's because my blog has become "Stale" and Repetitive." While I'll admit that what he's saying is accurate, I can't help but focus on the fact that Jeff was a fan of this space until he started dating a certain young woman a few months ago.
What does all this have to do with you? Well, you guys keep asking me to blog on a more regular basis but I gotta tell you it's hard to sit down and bang one of these stupid things out when I know Jeff isn't reading. I just have so much damn respect for that kid. Imagine being one of the most respected men in this industry (On both sides of the counter), making the rounds on all the major sports radio shows, running your own golf website, and finding time for semi-regular chats with Greta Van Susteren. The guy is impressive. So it's discouraging when he mocks the blog. I just can't find the motivation to write any more. But I'll try.
For the kids.
Here's what I came up with:
* Sunday's Ford 400 is the last Cup race of the 2008 season. What a ride it has been. From the joy of watching Cousin Carl win the spring Fontana race to my failed suicide attempt following the first New Hampshire event, it has been a wild year. It's hard to believe that just 8 months ago I thought NASCAR was just a bunch of cars turning left over and over. Now I know that it's so much more....
(Smirk)
* Even if you don't like car racing, you have to give the sport this much: It is a gambler's best friend. Seriously, if someone as clueless as me can win money most weeks on anything, everyone should be betting on it. Will I ever be as sharp NASCAR-wise as CB? No. Probably not. But I'll keep working at it until I am at least near his level. And in the meantime, I will enjoy the thrilling high speed turns, nerve-wracking pit stops, and breathless sideline reports from Dr. Jerry Punch.
What a sport.
* I was surprised to see Texas Tech win my poll asking who the best team in college football is. The Red Raiders will be a large dog when they visit Norman in a couple weeks and if they somehow survive that game, and beat Missouri, they would still be a dog in the BCS Championship Game if they played Florida. Of course, I'll admit that going by the Vegas Power Ratings may not be the best way to determine who is the best team in a given sport. Just look at Ed's rat NFL franchise whom oddsmakers seem to think is the best football team ever assembled. I still say Florida is the best team in the country and expect them to win it all. Their title game opponent? Oh, I dunno.... Let's say.... Oklahoma.
* Here's a good question: Who is most pleased with himself right now: Metcalf over the Gators, Sherman over the Lakers, Bennett over his personal sharpness, or Hoffman over his new IPhone? How could you even begin to tackle that question? I mean I know for sure that it's Jeff but how could you ever prove it? Would be interested to hear feedback on this one.
* The season is only a few weeks old and I am already sick of this Lakers team. Kobe Bryant may be the least likable superstar in recent sports history. I don't even care if he raped that skank from Colorado or not, I just think the guy is a giant douche. Unfortunately for me, I also can't stand this Celtics team. My only options this year in the NBA are to completely ignore the league or hope that LeBron can somehow carry his teammates to a championship. For now, I'm going with the latter.
* I've always been a much bigger fan of college hoops than the NBA, anyway. Everyone is already crowning UNC and that spaz Tyler Hansbrough national champions, but there are some other legit contenders out there. Louisville and UConn are both loaded. It sounds like Michigan State has a real solid team again and the blog is a big fan of Tom Izzo. UCLA was definitely worth a shot at 25-1. Don't forget about Memphis and Kansas who have just reloaded and will be good again. And I have high hopes for the Georgetown Hoyas who were bounced from last year's Tournament by Davidson in a 2nd round game that left Jim Nantz, Billy Packer, and the CBS suits wetting themselves and me one more shitty comment from punching a hole in the wall. The Hoyas are young and they may suffer through some learning experiences early in the year but as long as they don't run into the media darlings in this year's tourney, they should be poised for a deep run.
* I'd like to nominate myself for Sharp of the Week for a bet I recently made but apparently the book is not accepting it. I didn't realize my bookie was cut from The Mirage cloth but apparently not all bets are action there. Speaking of the Sharp of the Week award, it's not that I don't want to hand it out every week, it's just that none of you are doing anything to deserve it. Bennett is as sharp as ever, but is on record saying that he doesn't care about winning the award. Hoffman has been rattling off NBA winners this week but his decision to turn down free 2nd row tickets to the UNLV game where he could've drank beer, watched football, leered at girls in his favorite age group, and drank beer has me seriously questioning how sharp the kid really is.
Having said all that, I have to give the Sharp of the Week to Andy Ross this week. I thoroughly enjoyed watching the Kings-Clippers game with him and Austin the other night. They were on opposite sides of degenerate NBA bets and were talking shit back and forth. Other than Kings G Beno Udrih, I don't think any of the players on the floor cared more about the outcome than Austin and Andy. For the record Ross won his bet, Austin lost his, and Murray had the 2nd half over(s), an easy cash.
So between beating Austin (aka The 2nd Half King) in a heads up NBA duel and his recent propensity for getting great NASCAR numbers, I have to hand the Sharp of the Week award to Andy. Congrats.
* This is a relatively tame day in college football. I woke up too late to post our group's stupid Leroy's contest picks. I didn't realize that almost every game we took was a 9 AM game. It looks like I'm going to pick up a winner on Notre Dame despite 12 first half turnovers but "Old School" Hill's play on Illinois is in dire straits and "The 0-8 Kid" is in trouble with his Georgia pick.
Nice job this year, guys.
I also bet Wisconsin because.... I just really like to bet.
I'm actually watching this Notre Dame-Navy game as I blog and they just showed a clip I feel I have to share with you guys. Navy won an official's review (One of the few successes they have had to this point) and they cut to a shot of the cheerleaders celebrating on the sidelines. They zoomed in on one of the male cheerdudes and he pointed to where it says "Navy" on his shirt and popped it out. Keep in mind that Navy didn't score on this play. Keep in mind that Navy is losing 27-7 with under 5 minutes left in the game. And keep in mind that this guy is a MALE CHEERLEADER.
* I also bet a ton of NFL crap this week, some of which my bookies actually accepted without calling my Mom from underneath their covers. I'd tell you guys what I took but it's all garbage. I'm switching over to the Cup race at 1 PM, anyway. Last Sunday I woke up around 9:30 AM, placed my final Cup matchup bets online, went back to bed, and woke up in time to watch the race.
That's right. On an NFL Sunday, I slept through the football games and woke up in time to watch a NASCAR race.
* Of course, I never would've done that if the Redskins had been playing. I would've pulled myself out of bed and endured the unspeakable torture of watching them play. Speaking of the Redskins, the Cowboys come to town tomorrow night. I'll be interested to see how many Dallas "Fans" show up for this one. If Dallas came in 8-1, they'd flood the place. If the 'Boys were 2-7, they'd be scattered at best. But at 5-4, it's hard to say how many of those wiseasses will make the trip from Bethesda or Chevy Chase to watch the team they only root for 2 weeks out of the year, purely to get under the skin of Redskins fans. I hate the Cowboys.
Tomorrow's game will mark only the second time I can remember not going to the Dallas game in probably 20 years. The only other time I can remember not being there is a few years ago when we hosted them on a Monday Night and I had an 8 AM British Literature midterm Tuesday morning, which I most likely bombed because I was up all night drinking and watching the game. Normally, I would've ditched all my Tuesday classes and gone home for that game but it was hard to get around taking a midterm, especially when you consider that I was one of those jackass students who pretty much only showed up on test days or days we had to turn a paper in. Looking back it's amazing that I made it out of there in just 5 years considering the complete lack of effort I put forth. I miss college.
But I'll really miss being at the Redskins-Cowboys game tomorrow night. I'm glad Dallas has their queer QB and Felix Jones back just in time for this game. Just like the Steelers got Holmes and Parker back for the Redskins. And just like the Seahawks will have Hasselbeck back for their game against Washington next Sunday. Why couldn't we catch all the scheduling breaks the Giants did? "Stop complaining," you say?
Suck my balls, Austin.
Trivia Question for Saturday: I like the theme of Boiler Room quotes in the trivia section. Who mouthed this gem: "When was the last time you closed something huh? You couldn't close a fuckin' window you moron!"
Give me the character name and the actor.
** The last one was in fact Seth Davis. Ross got it right on his second attempt.
A good friend of mine from high school is a big fan of all things Philadelphia: The World Champion Fightins', the mediocre 76ers, the whatever Flyers, and the destined to never win anything Eagles. Much like I do when I'm talking to Ed, when I talk to this kid I love to take pointless shots at any of these Philadelphia teams until he finally says enough is enough and starts defending them. He called me to catch up the other day and somehow we got on the topic of the Phillies and their wretched left fielder Pat "The Babe" Burrell. Apparently, my friend works with a guy who has a cousin who lives in the Philadelphia area. So this dude's cousin is out a bar in Philly a few years ago and The Bambino himself is in the building. Always the sweet talker, Burrell managed to convince one of the girls in this guy's group to go home with him. And the story goes that when Burrell and his new lady friend had finished what they were there to do, The Babe said to her "Do you realize you just had sex with Pat Burrell?" Apparently, the girl swears by this (What reason would she have for making it up? How could you make something like that up?) and I have read that Burrell is a notorious party boy, so I'm going to go ahead and assume this story is true.
I've never considered Burrell to be a big deal and I think you'd have to be a big shot to get away with saying something like that to a girl you just met. I've taken the liberty of compiling a list of sports figures who could get away with that comment:
- Michael Jordan
- LeBron James
- Tom Brady
- Cristiano Ronaldo
- Michael Phelps
- Greg Biffle, only if he referred to himself as "The Biff"
- Derek Jeter
- Tiger Woods
And of course:
- Jeff Sherman
That's enough for one day. Notre Dame did everything humanly possible to blow their game (Which prompted my brother to text me: "If Notre Dame loses this game, they should just disband their program.") but held on for the win.
I have a Nationwide race to watch.
Enjoy the game.
What does all this have to do with you? Well, you guys keep asking me to blog on a more regular basis but I gotta tell you it's hard to sit down and bang one of these stupid things out when I know Jeff isn't reading. I just have so much damn respect for that kid. Imagine being one of the most respected men in this industry (On both sides of the counter), making the rounds on all the major sports radio shows, running your own golf website, and finding time for semi-regular chats with Greta Van Susteren. The guy is impressive. So it's discouraging when he mocks the blog. I just can't find the motivation to write any more. But I'll try.
For the kids.
Here's what I came up with:
* Sunday's Ford 400 is the last Cup race of the 2008 season. What a ride it has been. From the joy of watching Cousin Carl win the spring Fontana race to my failed suicide attempt following the first New Hampshire event, it has been a wild year. It's hard to believe that just 8 months ago I thought NASCAR was just a bunch of cars turning left over and over. Now I know that it's so much more....
(Smirk)
* Even if you don't like car racing, you have to give the sport this much: It is a gambler's best friend. Seriously, if someone as clueless as me can win money most weeks on anything, everyone should be betting on it. Will I ever be as sharp NASCAR-wise as CB? No. Probably not. But I'll keep working at it until I am at least near his level. And in the meantime, I will enjoy the thrilling high speed turns, nerve-wracking pit stops, and breathless sideline reports from Dr. Jerry Punch.
What a sport.
* I was surprised to see Texas Tech win my poll asking who the best team in college football is. The Red Raiders will be a large dog when they visit Norman in a couple weeks and if they somehow survive that game, and beat Missouri, they would still be a dog in the BCS Championship Game if they played Florida. Of course, I'll admit that going by the Vegas Power Ratings may not be the best way to determine who is the best team in a given sport. Just look at Ed's rat NFL franchise whom oddsmakers seem to think is the best football team ever assembled. I still say Florida is the best team in the country and expect them to win it all. Their title game opponent? Oh, I dunno.... Let's say.... Oklahoma.
* Here's a good question: Who is most pleased with himself right now: Metcalf over the Gators, Sherman over the Lakers, Bennett over his personal sharpness, or Hoffman over his new IPhone? How could you even begin to tackle that question? I mean I know for sure that it's Jeff but how could you ever prove it? Would be interested to hear feedback on this one.
* The season is only a few weeks old and I am already sick of this Lakers team. Kobe Bryant may be the least likable superstar in recent sports history. I don't even care if he raped that skank from Colorado or not, I just think the guy is a giant douche. Unfortunately for me, I also can't stand this Celtics team. My only options this year in the NBA are to completely ignore the league or hope that LeBron can somehow carry his teammates to a championship. For now, I'm going with the latter.
* I've always been a much bigger fan of college hoops than the NBA, anyway. Everyone is already crowning UNC and that spaz Tyler Hansbrough national champions, but there are some other legit contenders out there. Louisville and UConn are both loaded. It sounds like Michigan State has a real solid team again and the blog is a big fan of Tom Izzo. UCLA was definitely worth a shot at 25-1. Don't forget about Memphis and Kansas who have just reloaded and will be good again. And I have high hopes for the Georgetown Hoyas who were bounced from last year's Tournament by Davidson in a 2nd round game that left Jim Nantz, Billy Packer, and the CBS suits wetting themselves and me one more shitty comment from punching a hole in the wall. The Hoyas are young and they may suffer through some learning experiences early in the year but as long as they don't run into the media darlings in this year's tourney, they should be poised for a deep run.
* I'd like to nominate myself for Sharp of the Week for a bet I recently made but apparently the book is not accepting it. I didn't realize my bookie was cut from The Mirage cloth but apparently not all bets are action there. Speaking of the Sharp of the Week award, it's not that I don't want to hand it out every week, it's just that none of you are doing anything to deserve it. Bennett is as sharp as ever, but is on record saying that he doesn't care about winning the award. Hoffman has been rattling off NBA winners this week but his decision to turn down free 2nd row tickets to the UNLV game where he could've drank beer, watched football, leered at girls in his favorite age group, and drank beer has me seriously questioning how sharp the kid really is.
Having said all that, I have to give the Sharp of the Week to Andy Ross this week. I thoroughly enjoyed watching the Kings-Clippers game with him and Austin the other night. They were on opposite sides of degenerate NBA bets and were talking shit back and forth. Other than Kings G Beno Udrih, I don't think any of the players on the floor cared more about the outcome than Austin and Andy. For the record Ross won his bet, Austin lost his, and Murray had the 2nd half over(s), an easy cash.
So between beating Austin (aka The 2nd Half King) in a heads up NBA duel and his recent propensity for getting great NASCAR numbers, I have to hand the Sharp of the Week award to Andy. Congrats.
* This is a relatively tame day in college football. I woke up too late to post our group's stupid Leroy's contest picks. I didn't realize that almost every game we took was a 9 AM game. It looks like I'm going to pick up a winner on Notre Dame despite 12 first half turnovers but "Old School" Hill's play on Illinois is in dire straits and "The 0-8 Kid" is in trouble with his Georgia pick.
Nice job this year, guys.
I also bet Wisconsin because.... I just really like to bet.
I'm actually watching this Notre Dame-Navy game as I blog and they just showed a clip I feel I have to share with you guys. Navy won an official's review (One of the few successes they have had to this point) and they cut to a shot of the cheerleaders celebrating on the sidelines. They zoomed in on one of the male cheerdudes and he pointed to where it says "Navy" on his shirt and popped it out. Keep in mind that Navy didn't score on this play. Keep in mind that Navy is losing 27-7 with under 5 minutes left in the game. And keep in mind that this guy is a MALE CHEERLEADER.
* I also bet a ton of NFL crap this week, some of which my bookies actually accepted without calling my Mom from underneath their covers. I'd tell you guys what I took but it's all garbage. I'm switching over to the Cup race at 1 PM, anyway. Last Sunday I woke up around 9:30 AM, placed my final Cup matchup bets online, went back to bed, and woke up in time to watch the race.
That's right. On an NFL Sunday, I slept through the football games and woke up in time to watch a NASCAR race.
* Of course, I never would've done that if the Redskins had been playing. I would've pulled myself out of bed and endured the unspeakable torture of watching them play. Speaking of the Redskins, the Cowboys come to town tomorrow night. I'll be interested to see how many Dallas "Fans" show up for this one. If Dallas came in 8-1, they'd flood the place. If the 'Boys were 2-7, they'd be scattered at best. But at 5-4, it's hard to say how many of those wiseasses will make the trip from Bethesda or Chevy Chase to watch the team they only root for 2 weeks out of the year, purely to get under the skin of Redskins fans. I hate the Cowboys.
Tomorrow's game will mark only the second time I can remember not going to the Dallas game in probably 20 years. The only other time I can remember not being there is a few years ago when we hosted them on a Monday Night and I had an 8 AM British Literature midterm Tuesday morning, which I most likely bombed because I was up all night drinking and watching the game. Normally, I would've ditched all my Tuesday classes and gone home for that game but it was hard to get around taking a midterm, especially when you consider that I was one of those jackass students who pretty much only showed up on test days or days we had to turn a paper in. Looking back it's amazing that I made it out of there in just 5 years considering the complete lack of effort I put forth. I miss college.
But I'll really miss being at the Redskins-Cowboys game tomorrow night. I'm glad Dallas has their queer QB and Felix Jones back just in time for this game. Just like the Steelers got Holmes and Parker back for the Redskins. And just like the Seahawks will have Hasselbeck back for their game against Washington next Sunday. Why couldn't we catch all the scheduling breaks the Giants did? "Stop complaining," you say?
Suck my balls, Austin.
Trivia Question for Saturday: I like the theme of Boiler Room quotes in the trivia section. Who mouthed this gem: "When was the last time you closed something huh? You couldn't close a fuckin' window you moron!"
Give me the character name and the actor.
** The last one was in fact Seth Davis. Ross got it right on his second attempt.
A good friend of mine from high school is a big fan of all things Philadelphia: The World Champion Fightins', the mediocre 76ers, the whatever Flyers, and the destined to never win anything Eagles. Much like I do when I'm talking to Ed, when I talk to this kid I love to take pointless shots at any of these Philadelphia teams until he finally says enough is enough and starts defending them. He called me to catch up the other day and somehow we got on the topic of the Phillies and their wretched left fielder Pat "The Babe" Burrell. Apparently, my friend works with a guy who has a cousin who lives in the Philadelphia area. So this dude's cousin is out a bar in Philly a few years ago and The Bambino himself is in the building. Always the sweet talker, Burrell managed to convince one of the girls in this guy's group to go home with him. And the story goes that when Burrell and his new lady friend had finished what they were there to do, The Babe said to her "Do you realize you just had sex with Pat Burrell?" Apparently, the girl swears by this (What reason would she have for making it up? How could you make something like that up?) and I have read that Burrell is a notorious party boy, so I'm going to go ahead and assume this story is true.
I've never considered Burrell to be a big deal and I think you'd have to be a big shot to get away with saying something like that to a girl you just met. I've taken the liberty of compiling a list of sports figures who could get away with that comment:
- Michael Jordan
- LeBron James
- Tom Brady
- Cristiano Ronaldo
- Michael Phelps
- Greg Biffle, only if he referred to himself as "The Biff"
- Derek Jeter
- Tiger Woods
And of course:
- Jeff Sherman
That's enough for one day. Notre Dame did everything humanly possible to blow their game (Which prompted my brother to text me: "If Notre Dame loses this game, they should just disband their program.") but held on for the win.
I have a Nationwide race to watch.
Enjoy the game.
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Carl Edwards
May be the blog's biggest hero....
