Every time I get excited about

.... one of my blogs, I go directly to Jeff and ask him what he thought. Then Jeff laughs, looks away, laughs again, looks back at me to gauge my reaction, and then laughs some more. Translation: He didn't read it. Again. When I ask him why, he tells me that it's because my blog has become "Stale" and Repetitive." While I'll admit that what he's saying is accurate, I can't help but focus on the fact that Jeff was a fan of this space until he started dating a certain young woman a few months ago.

What does all this have to do with you? Well, you guys keep asking me to blog on a more regular basis but I gotta tell you it's hard to sit down and bang one of these stupid things out when I know Jeff isn't reading. I just have so much damn respect for that kid. Imagine being one of the most respected men in this industry (On both sides of the counter), making the rounds on all the major sports radio shows, running your own golf website, and finding time for semi-regular chats with Greta Van Susteren. The guy is impressive. So it's discouraging when he mocks the blog. I just can't find the motivation to write any more. But I'll try.

For the kids.

Here's what I came up with:

* Sunday's Ford 400 is the last Cup race of the 2008 season. What a ride it has been. From the joy of watching Cousin Carl win the spring Fontana race to my failed suicide attempt following the first New Hampshire event, it has been a wild year. It's hard to believe that just 8 months ago I thought NASCAR was just a bunch of cars turning left over and over. Now I know that it's so much more....

(Smirk)

* Even if you don't like car racing, you have to give the sport this much: It is a gambler's best friend. Seriously, if someone as clueless as me can win money most weeks on anything, everyone should be betting on it. Will I ever be as sharp NASCAR-wise as CB? No. Probably not. But I'll keep working at it until I am at least near his level. And in the meantime, I will enjoy the thrilling high speed turns, nerve-wracking pit stops, and breathless sideline reports from Dr. Jerry Punch.

What a sport.

* I was surprised to see Texas Tech win my poll asking who the best team in college football is. The Red Raiders will be a large dog when they visit Norman in a couple weeks and if they somehow survive that game, and beat Missouri, they would still be a dog in the BCS Championship Game if they played Florida. Of course, I'll admit that going by the Vegas Power Ratings may not be the best way to determine who is the best team in a given sport. Just look at Ed's rat NFL franchise whom oddsmakers seem to think is the best football team ever assembled. I still say Florida is the best team in the country and expect them to win it all. Their title game opponent? Oh, I dunno.... Let's say.... Oklahoma.

* Here's a good question: Who is most pleased with himself right now: Metcalf over the Gators, Sherman over the Lakers, Bennett over his personal sharpness, or Hoffman over his new IPhone? How could you even begin to tackle that question? I mean I know for sure that it's Jeff but how could you ever prove it? Would be interested to hear feedback on this one.

* The season is only a few weeks old and I am already sick of this Lakers team. Kobe Bryant may be the least likable superstar in recent sports history. I don't even care if he raped that skank from Colorado or not, I just think the guy is a giant douche. Unfortunately for me, I also can't stand this Celtics team. My only options this year in the NBA are to completely ignore the league or hope that LeBron can somehow carry his teammates to a championship. For now, I'm going with the latter.

* I've always been a much bigger fan of college hoops than the NBA, anyway. Everyone is already crowning UNC and that spaz Tyler Hansbrough national champions, but there are some other legit contenders out there. Louisville and UConn are both loaded. It sounds like Michigan State has a real solid team again and the blog is a big fan of Tom Izzo. UCLA was definitely worth a shot at 25-1. Don't forget about Memphis and Kansas who have just reloaded and will be good again. And I have high hopes for the Georgetown Hoyas who were bounced from last year's Tournament by Davidson in a 2nd round game that left Jim Nantz, Billy Packer, and the CBS suits wetting themselves and me one more shitty comment from punching a hole in the wall. The Hoyas are young and they may suffer through some learning experiences early in the year but as long as they don't run into the media darlings in this year's tourney, they should be poised for a deep run.

* I'd like to nominate myself for Sharp of the Week for a bet I recently made but apparently the book is not accepting it. I didn't realize my bookie was cut from The Mirage cloth but apparently not all bets are action there. Speaking of the Sharp of the Week award, it's not that I don't want to hand it out every week, it's just that none of you are doing anything to deserve it. Bennett is as sharp as ever, but is on record saying that he doesn't care about winning the award. Hoffman has been rattling off NBA winners this week but his decision to turn down free 2nd row tickets to the UNLV game where he could've drank beer, watched football, leered at girls in his favorite age group, and drank beer has me seriously questioning how sharp the kid really is.

Having said all that, I have to give the Sharp of the Week to Andy Ross this week. I thoroughly enjoyed watching the Kings-Clippers game with him and Austin the other night. They were on opposite sides of degenerate NBA bets and were talking shit back and forth. Other than Kings G Beno Udrih, I don't think any of the players on the floor cared more about the outcome than Austin and Andy. For the record Ross won his bet, Austin lost his, and Murray had the 2nd half over(s), an easy cash.

So between beating Austin (aka The 2nd Half King) in a heads up NBA duel and his recent propensity for getting great NASCAR numbers, I have to hand the Sharp of the Week award to Andy. Congrats.

* This is a relatively tame day in college football. I woke up too late to post our group's stupid Leroy's contest picks. I didn't realize that almost every game we took was a 9 AM game. It looks like I'm going to pick up a winner on Notre Dame despite 12 first half turnovers but "Old School" Hill's play on Illinois is in dire straits and "The 0-8 Kid" is in trouble with his Georgia pick.
Nice job this year, guys.

I also bet Wisconsin because.... I just really like to bet.

I'm actually watching this Notre Dame-Navy game as I blog and they just showed a clip I feel I have to share with you guys. Navy won an official's review (One of the few successes they have had to this point) and they cut to a shot of the cheerleaders celebrating on the sidelines. They zoomed in on one of the male cheerdudes and he pointed to where it says "Navy" on his shirt and popped it out. Keep in mind that Navy didn't score on this play. Keep in mind that Navy is losing 27-7 with under 5 minutes left in the game. And keep in mind that this guy is a MALE CHEERLEADER.

* I also bet a ton of NFL crap this week, some of which my bookies actually accepted without calling my Mom from underneath their covers. I'd tell you guys what I took but it's all garbage. I'm switching over to the Cup race at 1 PM, anyway. Last Sunday I woke up around 9:30 AM, placed my final Cup matchup bets online, went back to bed, and woke up in time to watch the race.

That's right. On an NFL Sunday, I slept through the football games and woke up in time to watch a NASCAR race.

* Of course, I never would've done that if the Redskins had been playing. I would've pulled myself out of bed and endured the unspeakable torture of watching them play. Speaking of the Redskins, the Cowboys come to town tomorrow night. I'll be interested to see how many Dallas "Fans" show up for this one. If Dallas came in 8-1, they'd flood the place. If the 'Boys were 2-7, they'd be scattered at best. But at 5-4, it's hard to say how many of those wiseasses will make the trip from Bethesda or Chevy Chase to watch the team they only root for 2 weeks out of the year, purely to get under the skin of Redskins fans. I hate the Cowboys.

Tomorrow's game will mark only the second time I can remember not going to the Dallas game in probably 20 years. The only other time I can remember not being there is a few years ago when we hosted them on a Monday Night and I had an 8 AM British Literature midterm Tuesday morning, which I most likely bombed because I was up all night drinking and watching the game. Normally, I would've ditched all my Tuesday classes and gone home for that game but it was hard to get around taking a midterm, especially when you consider that I was one of those jackass students who pretty much only showed up on test days or days we had to turn a paper in. Looking back it's amazing that I made it out of there in just 5 years considering the complete lack of effort I put forth. I miss college.

But I'll really miss being at the Redskins-Cowboys game tomorrow night. I'm glad Dallas has their queer QB and Felix Jones back just in time for this game. Just like the Steelers got Holmes and Parker back for the Redskins. And just like the Seahawks will have Hasselbeck back for their game against Washington next Sunday. Why couldn't we catch all the scheduling breaks the Giants did? "Stop complaining," you say?

Suck my balls, Austin.


Trivia Question for Saturday: I like the theme of Boiler Room quotes in the trivia section. Who mouthed this gem: "When was the last time you closed something huh? You couldn't close a fuckin' window you moron!"

Give me the character name and the actor.

** The last one was in fact Seth Davis. Ross got it right on his second attempt.


A good friend of mine from high school is a big fan of all things Philadelphia: The World Champion Fightins', the mediocre 76ers, the whatever Flyers, and the destined to never win anything Eagles. Much like I do when I'm talking to Ed, when I talk to this kid I love to take pointless shots at any of these Philadelphia teams until he finally says enough is enough and starts defending them. He called me to catch up the other day and somehow we got on the topic of the Phillies and their wretched left fielder Pat "The Babe" Burrell. Apparently, my friend works with a guy who has a cousin who lives in the Philadelphia area. So this dude's cousin is out a bar in Philly a few years ago and The Bambino himself is in the building. Always the sweet talker, Burrell managed to convince one of the girls in this guy's group to go home with him. And the story goes that when Burrell and his new lady friend had finished what they were there to do, The Babe said to her "Do you realize you just had sex with Pat Burrell?" Apparently, the girl swears by this (What reason would she have for making it up? How could you make something like that up?) and I have read that Burrell is a notorious party boy, so I'm going to go ahead and assume this story is true.

I've never considered Burrell to be a big deal and I think you'd have to be a big shot to get away with saying something like that to a girl you just met. I've taken the liberty of compiling a list of sports figures who could get away with that comment:

- Michael Jordan
- LeBron James
- Tom Brady
- Cristiano Ronaldo
- Michael Phelps
- Greg Biffle, only if he referred to himself as "The Biff"
- Derek Jeter
- Tiger Woods

And of course:

- Jeff Sherman



That's enough for one day. Notre Dame did everything humanly possible to blow their game (Which prompted my brother to text me: "If Notre Dame loses this game, they should just disband their program.") but held on for the win.

I have a Nationwide race to watch.




Enjoy the game.