There are sports bettors

.... who run well. There are sports bettors who run ridiculously well. There are sports bettors who turn everything they touch to gold. And then there's The Hoff. Going into the Sunday night game between the Panthers and Giants, he and Austin were tied in the Blackjack At Murray's House Bowl. Scott was finished for the day while Austin had just Panthers +3.5 left on his card. The Giants scored a touchdown they didn't need in overtime to win by 6 and cover the spread, knocking Austin down a point and allowing Hoffy to move on to this weekend's Final Four.

Joining "+ Units" in the Final Four will be "Bennie Silman," "Mr. Salmon," and "Darts At A Board" who went 6-0 on Sunday to show "The Dealer" the door. I should point out that she actually sent me 7 picks but one of them was the Packers and the Monday night game was off limits. However, with the Packers covering last night, the 7 picks she e-mailed me went 7-0. I can't possibly be accused of cheating for her because I couldn't go 7-0 in the NFL if I picked 7 sides every Sunday until the day I die.

What else did I take away from Week 16 of the NFL season, you ask? Here you go:

* So, the Cowboys had a big game in December against a good defense and Tony Romo completely choked? Shocking. The funny thing is the next time Dallas plays a bad team in a meaningless game, he'll throw for 300 and 3 TDs and every one will go right back to talking about how great he is like nothing ever happened. I will give him this - He did a good job of padding his stats when the Ravens went into a prevent defense in the 4th quarter and those 500-esque passes he threw up to Ed Reed went way higher than any of tosses by kids on the playground at recess in McLean, Virginia ever did.

* Speaking of choking, ladies and gentlemen - the 2008 Philadelphia Eagles. Ed's team may go down as the highest power rated club in sports history to not even make the playoffs. This goes to show you that we shouldn't let last season's performance dictate how highly we rate teams the following this year.

What's that? Are you sure?

Wow. Okay this just in - It turns out the Eagles didn't make the playoffs last season, either. In fact, they finished last in the NFC East. So why exactly did the powers that be in Las Vegas have them rated as one of the league's top teams? It's almost as if the manager of the most influential sports book in the city is partial towards them....

Bottom line - Say what you want about the Skins, about JC, and about The Zornado. They still swept the 2008 Eagles. That's even better than a playoff berth.

* So, the Patriots beat the Cardinals 47-7 on Sunday and are a win away from finishing 11-5 while the Cardinals are one loss away from going .500. And the Pats still need help to make the playoffs while Leinart and Co. are guaranteed a HOME playoff game? What a league.

* It's time to extend congratulations to Jeff Sherman and the Atlanta Falcons on a stunning 2008 season. Sunday's win in Minnesota clinched a playoff berth for the Dirty Birds and with a win and a Panthers loss this week, Atlanta would actually win the NFC South and have a first round bye! Who saw this coming? Jeff Sherman did. He called for them to be the most surprising team in the NFL this season way back in August. (Of course he also called for them to be the league's most disappointing team as well but we'll just pretend that never happened. That guy toes the line better than any politician out there.)

* This was such a crazy weekend in the NFL that even the blog managed to make money. (And not just on fantasy football. My dumb bets won, too. Must be one of those variance things that Bennett's always talking about.) In the process, I learned several things about betting the NFL -

1. Just because a team has to win, doesn't mean they will. I thought I learned that lesson years ago but apparently not. The Eagles, Broncos, and Bucs are all examples of teams that choked away very winnable games on Sunday and jeopardized their playoff status in the process.

2. When it's cold outside you should be betting against Brett Favre. He's getting too old for this shit.

3. The only thing worse than a ball busting bookie is a gossipy one. This kid I'm going through right now has about as much discretion as an 8th grade girl talking about cute boys in the schoolyard. At least hold comments until after the games are over please, sir.

* We can all agree that booking my bets is the easiest job in America. The second easiest? How about being general manager of the New York Yankees? Things didn't work out last season so let's just throw piles of money at every big name free agent available and assume that will work. Mark Teixeira is a giant douche.

By the way, Austin texted me soon after the news broke. All he said was: "120 wins?"

I didn't respond.

* Speaking of Austin, he and I locked up a fantasy league championship on Monday night and in the process once again posted the highest score of the week. I'd like to thank DeAngelo Williams, Maurice Jones-Drew, Brandon Marshall, Steve Smith, Brandon Jacobs, Randy Moss, and everyone who made this title possible. Even you Robbie Gould. Better luck next year, Ed.

I also managed to win the championship game of Mantasy Football this weekend thanks to my star QB Peyton Manning's precision passing and my opponent's star player Brian Westbrook getting shut down by the Burgundy and Gold defense. If only I was as good at betting on sports as I am in fantasy football.

* Austin and I are on the verge of being labeled fantasy football snobs but who are the biggest sports gambling snobs out there? I have compiled a list of the biggest gambling snobs at work and will put it to your vote to determine who is the most insufferable. I will leave Hoffy out of this because A) He doesn't work with us any more and B) This is to determine the biggest sports betting snob, not the biggest snob.

Just kidding, pal.

Well, kind of.

Okay, here are the candidates:

The Favorite: Chris Bennett.

When you go around telling people you are "Sharp sharp" you are going to make this list. You're not only going to make this list, you're going to be the betting favorite. Actually, you're not only going to be the betting favorite, you're going to be like the Eagles scout team facing the AFC Pro Bowlers. That's right - A huge chalk. There's no doubt that CB is sharp. He's so sharp, I want to check his birth certificate to see if he was born in Washington state. But there are some who say he is more concerned with getting good numbers than he is with cashing tickets. And he does have a tendency to look down on the less mathematically skilled bettors around him. I'll agree that he is the favorite at this point but let's look at a few others that deserve to be in this conversation before we crown his ass.


The Challenger: Matt Metcalf.

If you tell this kid you made a bet, there are only two possible responses you'll get: "How much are you going to lay off on the other side?" or "Seems dumb." That's it. He won't say anything else. He is not afraid to criticize anyone: Bettors, books, sharps, squares, sharp squares, square squares, sharp degenerates, square drunks, The Hoff, even his own partners. The argument for Matt not being the biggest sports gambling snob is that he has made a lot of money gambling and therefore has earned the right to be cocky about it. But the debate is not over who has the right to be a snob or not, it's over who IS a snob. Judgmental is snobby. I don't see how we can leave "The Big Guy" out of this conversation.

The Darkhorse: Jeff Sherman

Jeff's not the biggest sports gambling snob. I just wanted to talk about him in the blog because it annoys CB. Did you guys know that J.S. runs his own golf website? It's a nice looking site, too. I like it so much that when I was told I needed to pick a contest name for a college bowl challenge I am in, I chose GolfOdds.com as my handle to give Jeff and his site some (much needed) publicity.

But instead of thanking me, the guy threated to sue me! Unbelievable.

Maybe I will try to make a case for him as the biggest sports betting snob. He did mock me the other day for contemplating taking 8.5 points on an NFL side in which his group got 9, that being such a key number. And his group mocked me all week for betting the Ravens +5 before deciding to pounce on that 5.5 on Saturday night. That ended up making a huge difference of course what with the Ravens winning straight up. (That team he took 9 on won straight up too, by the way.) Jeff was too big for the MHI, too big for Charlie's bowl challenge, too big to make bets in person, too big to read the blog, and worst of all, he is too big to watch NASCAR races on Sunday afternoons. Maybe he, not CB or Metcalf, is really the biggest sports gambling snob. Think about it.

The "I'm Not a Snob. I Think I'm Terrible at This Shit" Guy: Ed Salmons.

On a constant mission to convince everyone that he doesn't know what he's doing, while he wins bet after bet. I'm on to you, bro. You can play dumb all you want but I'm not buying what you're selling. I will say this for Ed - He's only a snob when it comes to futures betting. The guy gets a bet down on the Celtics at 200-1 last year and suddenly he's the king of futures betting. I'm at a point now where I'm rooting for the Cavaliers more to stick it to Ed than I am for the potential pay day in June. According to him, if you money line it out there's no value on any future ticket in the city. He mocks everyone who bets anything. But at least he is consistent about it and at least he's got the character to do it to their face. He's probably not the biggest snob, but I'm going to put him in the poll just to make sure.


I was recently asked to write previews for a handful of college bowl games for PlanetBlacksburg.com. Here's a link to the article - Silly would be a compliment to this slop.

I should point out that only 8 of those previews were penned by yours truly. The others were done by equally stupid kids in Virginia. I should also point out that while doing those write ups, I researched the games and I ended up betting on just about every one I did a preview of. I may have to revisit the concept of blog memberships in the very near future.


Remember when I used to post picks on the blog?

I took TCU -2.5 (-101) tonight in the Poinsettia Bowl. But you would already know that if you came within 50 feet of my bookie this week. Why did I bet it? Because I wrote that dopey preview and talked myself into it.

Remember when I used to have trivia in the blog?


Trivia Question for Tuesday - When was the last time an 11-5 NFL team failed to make the playoffs?

(Yes, I do have Patriots to make the playoffs at +210 and am prepared to bitch if they get left out for the AFC West "champion."




Enjoy the holidays.