In the tradition of the Stardust Invitational

.... I would like to hold a handicapping contest on my blog. It would take place over the final four weeks of the NFL regular season. I'm not yet sure of the exact guidelines or what the stakes would be but I know that the following rules would apply:

1. Ed has to be in it.

2. Bennett has to give strokes. In other words, if the competition is to see who can pick the most winners out of 5 during a given week, Chris only gets to pick 3 games. Or if the buy-in is $100, Chris has to put up $2,000. It just wouldn't be fair going head-to-head with him on a level playing field.

3. Jeff has to use an alias. The guy is such a big deal in this city that if it became known that he was in a handicapping contest, it could cause hysteria.

4. The Hoff has to be sober when he makes his picks. His drunk "Handicapping" is just too good.

5. Austin is only allowed to complain about the rules and what people are picking 5 times per week or he will be docked points.


Here are some potential formats:

* A bracket style tournament in which players are matched up head-to-head and must beat their opponent to advance to the next week. I think that's how the Stardust did it and I like it because it could lead to funny scenarios where players that have good weeks don't advance because their opponent was even better and players that struggled could advance because the other guy didn't make his picks or blew his brains in. Anything that promotes unfairness and complaining is a positive for this event.

* Every one could make picks for the next 4 weeks and at the conclusion of the regular season, a panel could vote on who to gets to advance to the championship round which would take place during the NFL playoffs. The panel would consist of eliminated players who would probably vote against the guy who eliminated them out of spite. We could also write a computer program that tells us who did the best instead of deciding it on the field. Or we could pull two names out of a hat and they could play in the championship round. We could even have players who did poorly in the regular season match up against each other for no reason at all as a tribute to the minor bowl games.

* Every one could pick 5 games during the last 4 weeks of the NFL regular season with each winner being worth 2 points. Then when the playoffs start, you pick every game and each winner is worth 20 points, rendering the regular season pick meaningless.

* My favorite format is a head-to-head one in which each winner you pick is worth 1 point, each loser you pick is -1. This way if there's only 2 games you like, only pick 2. If you don't think your opponent can pick winners, then pick nothing and take a score of 0 to mock him. I like any bracket scenario in which I can be the one who seeds the players. I'm sure that won't hurt anyone's feelings.

** Side bets are encouraged. Mocking is mandatory.

*** If a game you pick ends in a tie, you receive bonus points. For Ed.

I'm open to any suggestions as long as they are funny. The contest is open to anyone and everyone.


Bet you didn't think I'd blog two days in a row. I'm just in a giving mood I guess. Here are some more dumb thoughts you people read for reasons that are beyond me:

* Chris Bennett waiting this long to be named "Sharp of the Week" is the biggest injustice since Martin Scorcese had to wait until 2007 to win an Academy Award. (I chose that analogy because I consider Bennett and Scorcese to be relative equals in their respective fields of general sharpness and film making.) The problem is that CB has openly mocked the "Sharp of the Week" and since I take that award so seriously, I am having trouble giving it to him until he proves to me that he really wants it. Nice call on Clemson, bro.

* West Virginia was up 15-7 with the ball midway through the 4th quarter of yesterday's Backyard Brawl. And lost. To Pitt. Again. Bill Stewart is a moron. It would have been interesting to see what Paul Johnson could have done with Pat White and Noel Devine in his offense but instead the Mountaineers elected to go with the long time assistant instead of a proven, successful head football coach. Hopefully, they can go to the Insight.com Bowl.

* Tonight should be the last game of the Charlie Weis era in South Bend. Weis went to two BSC Bowls (Both blowout losses but at least he got there) playing with all of his predecessor's recruits and has done nothing with his own players. Years 3 and 4 are usually when a coach has all of his own guys in his system and that's when he's supposed to be winning. Instead, Weis is losing home games to Syracuse. Perhaps Notre Dame should make Paul Johnson an offer but they will probably waste their time pursuing bigger names like Urban Meyer or Jon Gruden.

* I rarely enjoy watching football games I have money on. The only exception is when my bet is for the game to go 'Under' the posted total. It's always funny to root for 2 yard FB dives and 4 yard gains off tackle that keep the clock moving. Any game in which you spend most of your time staring at the clock or looking at the linesman to see if he is winding his arm is fun. Even though I'm going to lose my bet because one of the teams can't stop the other, I'm still enjoying it.

* Sharp sharps call these things "Variances" but I like to put it a little more bluntly. If you had UCLA and the points last night you got fucked over. The blog had nothing riding on that game but I heard about it. And I heard enough to know that Arizona State bettors got very lucky. UCLA outgained ASU 306-122 in total yards and were getting 10 points. That situation probably produces a winner 99.9% of the time. But the Sun Devils benefited from an incredible 4 defensive TDs, all of which on turnovers by UCLA QB Kevin Craft. Tough break for the sharps in that game.

* Great article in this week's SI about Bucs LB Derrick Brooks and how he prepares for a game, what's going through his mind before and during a game, and even his thought process in the middle of a play. I thought it was particularly interesting that he watches college football games on Saturday's and takes notes on the tendencies of elite college players he thinks he may have to play against one day in the NFL.

I wonder if Tim Thomas watches college basketball games to scout future opponents. Hard to say for sure.


No new trivia today. Is it me or are these Ross brothers just hellbent on ruining the fun of the blog?

Plaxico Buress is an idiot.



Enjoy the game.