With this being my 100th blog

.... and all, I feel like I have to ask you guys - Is anyone else getting tired of this slop? (Put your hand down, Jeff. I'm not talking to you, bro.) I'm going to force something out today. But it's not gonna be funny. Continue reading at your own risk.

Some things to mention today:

* Contrary to popular belief, I was really not in a bad mood at work last night. I was just exhausted. Try this - Live one-on-one with my Mom in a small apartment for 8 straight days and let me know how you feel. She just has so much damn energy. There is never a moment where she will sit down and stop moving. I'll be watching TV in the living room and notice that she has disappeared into my bedroom for the millionth time. Then I'll hear her rummaging through my closet and ask her what she's doing. Inevitably, she'll panic, drop something on herself and scream. Then I'll groan, get up, and go make sure she's okay. Then I'll go back to the couch, she'll wander off again, and.... I think you see where this is going. Honestly, I was happy to go to work on Saturday. After being with my Mom so much the last few days, being at work was like having time off.

* Here's an example of Ed's logic: The SEC sucks because LSU got blown out by Georgia. Except.... Georgia is in the SEC. Matt's conference is still the best in the nation, hands down. And they'll prove it at bowl season.

* Georgia's Matthew Stafford is the best pro prospect at QB in college football right now. Alabama T Andre Smith is the best pro prospect at any position.

"John, who are you to make declarations like that?"

(Drawing a blank....)

Moving on....

* Speaking of Matt, he was trying to make a play for "Sharp of the Week" on Saturday. Gotta mock him for that.

Sorry, bro.

* Here's an example of Chad's logic: Ryan Howard has struggled the last few games, so he sucks. That kid should be a Philadelphia sports fan. He'd fit right in with the rest of those morons. What do you think Howard did in his next at bat following Chad's comments? Big surprise.... Ryan crushed one out of that Little League field that people in Philadelphia call a ballpark.

** We all know I majored in blogging. But I dabble a little in linesmaking. Here are a few:

* Will Ed have anything negative to say about Ryan Howard when I get to work on Sunday?

YES -1,000
NO +750

* Who would win a fight between Austin and CC?

Austin +260
CC -300

* Will such a fight ever take place?

YES 25/1
NO (Off the board)

* Who would win a fight between Austin and me?

Someone else has to make the line, but I think Austin would probably win because I'd be laughing so hard.

* Will Austin flip out and offer to book my action after he reads this?

(Completely off the board)

* What will Ed be watching at 11:00 AM on Sunday?

Eagles -220
Cup Race +160
The Line +500000

* Will Jeff Read this blog?

YES -1,000,000
NO +750,000

* Is Jeff Reading this blog right now?

YES -1,000,000
NO +750,000

(Just admit it already, bro. All the cool kids are doing it.)

* Will Bennett and that Holdsclaw kid be on the same side in World Series Game 4?

YES -50,000
NO +35,000

* Did Ed just laugh at that joke?

(Off the board.)

* Will Bennett take this the wrong way and get all defensive?

YES -80,000
NO +60,000

* Will Bennett take everything too literally and mock these odds?

(Completely off the board.)

Dude, it's after 2 AM. Just be grateful I'm blogging for you kids.

* Will I regret my decision to take my Mom out for breakfast during a Redskins game and a Cup race?

Dude.... What do you think?


I haven't posted any of my dumb picks since last Saturday. Luckily for you guys, I keep very good records. Not mentioned Saturday was $150 wasted on one of the most scumbag bets of my life. It was a heavily correlated parlay in the USC-Wazzu game. But apparently it wasn't correlated enough to prevent me and Hoffy from losing money. I actually rebounded nicely in the NFL winning a teaser bet on the Skins and Packers and even hitting a straight bet on New England on MNF, despite Matt Cassel being sacked 37 times. I passed on the college card this week because I couldn't pick a college winner if you gave me 3 extra points to work with in every game.


Last Weekend: 2-3, -$154

Year to Date: 20-17, +$476

(201) Chargers -2.5 (-110) vs. Saints

This just feels like one of those bets where I was correct to play it at the number I did but I'm going to lose anyway.

I hate those bets.

(206) Dolphins +8 vs. Bills
(210) Eagles -2.5 vs. Falcons

I laid -120 and I have to root for a Philadelphia team? Yikes.


I may play a couple more teasers on Sunday morning should the mood strike me.


Trivia Question for Sunday: Blog favorite Clinton Portis was the starting tailback for Miami (FL) when they trounced Big 12 slop, Nebraska, in the Fiesta Bowl for the national championship. Who started at fullback for the 'Canes in that game?

** Monday's Answer: Miley Cyrus was born on November 23, 1992. Wow. That's.... pretty young. You should be ashamed of yourself, Sean. I don't think I'll posting any more pics of her. At least not until November 23, 2010.

Franco Cortes got that one, by the way.


The Skins are in the Motor City to take on the Lions, I got money on an NFL game that's being played in London for some reason, Hoffy will be on pins and needles during Game 4, and the Cup boys are in the great state of Georgia. The blog expects to see the Office Depot #99 in Victory Lane but someone smarter than me seems to think the 18 team will be celebrating on Sunday afternoon.



How can I have my 100th blog without mentioning Jorgen, you ask?

It was pretty easy, really. No regrets.




Okay, fine. I'll force out a Jorgen story. Iowa's favorite son actually met my Mom on Wednesday night. As he was walking away, I noticed he was carrying the infamous Big Red Man Purse, which for blog purposes we will now refer to as BRMP (Sorry, Chris.) I nudged my Mom and said "There goes, Jorgen. Look, he's got his purse with him," and she laughed. She laughed hard actually. And I'm not a funny person. So, obviously it was the purse that caused her to chuckle.

Add my Mom to the list of people who find it funny that Jorgen has a purse.



And enjoy the game.