.... from a very reliable source that Chris Bennett is more than just your run of the mill sharp sharp. He is, in fact, the Jesus Christ of sharps, sent down to Earth by the God of sharpness to spread His gospel of sharp sports betting. Those of us lucky enough to communicate with Him on a daily basis should get down on our knees and thank The Man upstairs for sending His only son down from Heaven to constantly remind us of how dumb we really are in comparison to Him.
What's more amazing than Bennett being the recognized Jesus Christ of sports betting is that I still can't award him the blog's "Sharp of the Week" award. That distinction has to go to my buddy, Hoffy, who is maybe, possibly on the verge of a massive pay day thanks to the Tampa Bay Rays. I have been roundly mocked for rooting for Hoffy's bet on the Rays to win despite possessing a ticket on the Red Sox at 6-1. My ticket has a "Max pay" of $700. In the grand scheme of things, that's really not much. Meanwhile, if the Rays win the World Series Hoffy would probably spend more than $700 on lap dances alone. Just in the first hour after they clinch.
I might feel differently if my bet was on the Red Sox to win the AL. But if Boston were to knock out the Rays, I would see a profit of $0. My only reward would be a 7 game set with The Bambino and that clutch Fightin' Phils club. In fact, I would lose money overall because I have a bet on the Rays series price. Plus, I would probably lose a buddy, as the aforementioned "H" would most likely take "Double Mmpact's" advice and kill himself. So, I'm rooting for the Rays and that's that.
For the Hoff.
I was lucky enough to watch the debacle that was Game 5 of the ALCS at the Hard Rock with a group that featured Hoffy, Double Mmpact, and CC. Quite a crew. If Jorgie had been there, I would've never wanted the night to end. Unfortunately, he had to "Work." Meanwhile, Jeff had the day off, was invited by yours truly, and chose not to come. He even mocked me for hanging out at the Rock. Jeff, it's stuff like this that leads to you being made fun of so much in the blog. Why would I want to watch the game at the Hard Rock, you ask?? Perhaps it's because every time we go there we see approximately 500 hotass girls. Only like 490 of which are hookers. Or maybe it's because I'm such a big fan of their sports book director who is an admitted reader of the blog, something I greatly appreciate. It could be because every time I go there I end up drinking for free all night. Or it could be because their book does silly things like putting up unbettable presidential election props with Paris Hilton for no apparent reason. Maybe I just like it there because instead of the normal curmudgeonly Jorgen-like tellers I see everywhere in this city, the Rock employees both a super cute Canadian teller and that hotass Russian chick.
Actually, it's definitely because of the free booze. I'd pretty much go anywhere if you told me I could hang out with Hoffy and drink for free all night. Anyways, the blog fully endorses the Hard Rock. I don't care what Jeff says.
(Unless you have advice about betting on soccer, Jeff. Then I totally care what you think and appreciate any calls, texts, or e-mails. Thank you, sir.)
I was able to pick up a bill on TCU over BYU last night thanks to Scotty, who called minutes before kickoff to inform me that a certain sports bettor who has been known to move lines all over the city was on the Horned Frogs. You're probably wondering: "Dude, why do you bet $200 on your own stupid opinions and only $100 on the opinions of that noted sharp, who for privacy purposes we will refer to only as Rick "Big Daddy" Matthews in the blog?"
I actually have an answer to that question. It's because I'm an idiot. And a stubborn idiot at that. I'm so stubborn and so dumb that I actually bet more money on Texans futures this week, even though they are 1-4. What else did I bet?
Saturday - Thursday: 2-1, +$90
Year to Date: 18-14, +$630
(353) Missouri +7 (-106) @ Texas
"Nice call on Oklahoma over Texas last week, Murray."
"Dude they're overrated, trust me."
"You stubborn, stubborn man."
(382) South Carolina +3.5 (-101) vs LSU
Bennett told me this play was "Sharp sharp."
I literally don't care if it wins or not.
Don't think that I don't know why you guys are reading this blog. Don't think I don't know why some of you were childishly complaining that I hadn't blogged in a few days. I do. I know exactly why. You want to see what me and my fellow Men of Eye Street are playing in the Leroy's contest.
I seriously can't believe Mertins is 0-8 over the last 3 weeks. A freakin' monkey throwing darts could do better than that. Anyways, here's what the Big Three came up with for this week:
Mertins: Pitt, Akron
Hill: Rutgers, South Carolina
Murray: Ole Miss, Maryland, Arizona
I don't want to hear any more complaints when I take a few days off from blogging. What else are you going to read until I blog again? Another Bill Simmons entry about whichever Boston sports team is in the championship round this month? That's always real interesting reading. I couldn't even get through his column today and I'm a fan of his and I like to read. Complete garbage. Are you going to browse through GolfOdds.com? It's a good site and all but by his own admission, Jeff spends about 20 minutes a day on it. Conversely, I spend about 4 hours on each blog. And that's just on the rough draft. Yeah, I care about my readers. I owe them that much. I appreciate all 8 of you very much.
Nobody else seems to appreciate Chris Cooley's blog which is actually really funny and interesting. Although, I would like to see less videos starring his desperate-for-the-spotlight brother and more blogging from CC47 himself. The JC of sports betting is apparently on a hiatus for life from the blogging world. Hoffy hasn't blogged since that disastrous post-San Diego trip gambling stretch. And Ross seems to be at a loss without Chad material. Not that I'm blaming him. Just pointing it out.
So instead of complaining when I don't write anything for 4 whole days, just sit tight. It's not like you have any other options out there. Just have faith that I'll come up with something eventually. Perhaps I'll even be funny for once. Obviously, not this time. But some day.
Some day.
Trivia Question for Saturday: Which 2 drivers finished 1-2 at the Spring Cup race at my home track of Martinsville?
*Smirk*
My last trivia question was just a lame excuse for me to mention that Philadelphia hasn't won a sports championship in about a million years. I don't even know the answers and I'm not looking them up. Instead I'll just openly admit that I only did it to make fun of Philadelphia and their loser sports teams. So there.
My Mom arrives in Vegas on Saturday morning. It's like a 5'2'' white-haired Hurricane rolling into town. I'll either be blogging a lot over the next week to get crazy stories involving her off my chest or I won't be able to get on my computer at all because she has literally every second of every day already mapped out.
We'll see.
Enjoy the game.
Friday, October 17, 2008
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Carl Edwards

May be the blog's biggest hero....
1 comment:
Hamlin and Gordon??? How did I know that.
Post a Comment