.... I would like to hold a handicapping contest on my blog. It would take place over the final four weeks of the NFL regular season. I'm not yet sure of the exact guidelines or what the stakes would be but I know that the following rules would apply:
1. Ed has to be in it.
2. Bennett has to give strokes. In other words, if the competition is to see who can pick the most winners out of 5 during a given week, Chris only gets to pick 3 games. Or if the buy-in is $100, Chris has to put up $2,000. It just wouldn't be fair going head-to-head with him on a level playing field.
3. Jeff has to use an alias. The guy is such a big deal in this city that if it became known that he was in a handicapping contest, it could cause hysteria.
4. The Hoff has to be sober when he makes his picks. His drunk "Handicapping" is just too good.
5. Austin is only allowed to complain about the rules and what people are picking 5 times per week or he will be docked points.
Here are some potential formats:
* A bracket style tournament in which players are matched up head-to-head and must beat their opponent to advance to the next week. I think that's how the Stardust did it and I like it because it could lead to funny scenarios where players that have good weeks don't advance because their opponent was even better and players that struggled could advance because the other guy didn't make his picks or blew his brains in. Anything that promotes unfairness and complaining is a positive for this event.
* Every one could make picks for the next 4 weeks and at the conclusion of the regular season, a panel could vote on who to gets to advance to the championship round which would take place during the NFL playoffs. The panel would consist of eliminated players who would probably vote against the guy who eliminated them out of spite. We could also write a computer program that tells us who did the best instead of deciding it on the field. Or we could pull two names out of a hat and they could play in the championship round. We could even have players who did poorly in the regular season match up against each other for no reason at all as a tribute to the minor bowl games.
* Every one could pick 5 games during the last 4 weeks of the NFL regular season with each winner being worth 2 points. Then when the playoffs start, you pick every game and each winner is worth 20 points, rendering the regular season pick meaningless.
* My favorite format is a head-to-head one in which each winner you pick is worth 1 point, each loser you pick is -1. This way if there's only 2 games you like, only pick 2. If you don't think your opponent can pick winners, then pick nothing and take a score of 0 to mock him. I like any bracket scenario in which I can be the one who seeds the players. I'm sure that won't hurt anyone's feelings.
** Side bets are encouraged. Mocking is mandatory.
*** If a game you pick ends in a tie, you receive bonus points. For Ed.
I'm open to any suggestions as long as they are funny. The contest is open to anyone and everyone.
Bet you didn't think I'd blog two days in a row. I'm just in a giving mood I guess. Here are some more dumb thoughts you people read for reasons that are beyond me:
* Chris Bennett waiting this long to be named "Sharp of the Week" is the biggest injustice since Martin Scorcese had to wait until 2007 to win an Academy Award. (I chose that analogy because I consider Bennett and Scorcese to be relative equals in their respective fields of general sharpness and film making.) The problem is that CB has openly mocked the "Sharp of the Week" and since I take that award so seriously, I am having trouble giving it to him until he proves to me that he really wants it. Nice call on Clemson, bro.
* West Virginia was up 15-7 with the ball midway through the 4th quarter of yesterday's Backyard Brawl. And lost. To Pitt. Again. Bill Stewart is a moron. It would have been interesting to see what Paul Johnson could have done with Pat White and Noel Devine in his offense but instead the Mountaineers elected to go with the long time assistant instead of a proven, successful head football coach. Hopefully, they can go to the Insight.com Bowl.
* Tonight should be the last game of the Charlie Weis era in South Bend. Weis went to two BSC Bowls (Both blowout losses but at least he got there) playing with all of his predecessor's recruits and has done nothing with his own players. Years 3 and 4 are usually when a coach has all of his own guys in his system and that's when he's supposed to be winning. Instead, Weis is losing home games to Syracuse. Perhaps Notre Dame should make Paul Johnson an offer but they will probably waste their time pursuing bigger names like Urban Meyer or Jon Gruden.
* I rarely enjoy watching football games I have money on. The only exception is when my bet is for the game to go 'Under' the posted total. It's always funny to root for 2 yard FB dives and 4 yard gains off tackle that keep the clock moving. Any game in which you spend most of your time staring at the clock or looking at the linesman to see if he is winding his arm is fun. Even though I'm going to lose my bet because one of the teams can't stop the other, I'm still enjoying it.
* Sharp sharps call these things "Variances" but I like to put it a little more bluntly. If you had UCLA and the points last night you got fucked over. The blog had nothing riding on that game but I heard about it. And I heard enough to know that Arizona State bettors got very lucky. UCLA outgained ASU 306-122 in total yards and were getting 10 points. That situation probably produces a winner 99.9% of the time. But the Sun Devils benefited from an incredible 4 defensive TDs, all of which on turnovers by UCLA QB Kevin Craft. Tough break for the sharps in that game.
* Great article in this week's SI about Bucs LB Derrick Brooks and how he prepares for a game, what's going through his mind before and during a game, and even his thought process in the middle of a play. I thought it was particularly interesting that he watches college football games on Saturday's and takes notes on the tendencies of elite college players he thinks he may have to play against one day in the NFL.
I wonder if Tim Thomas watches college basketball games to scout future opponents. Hard to say for sure.
No new trivia today. Is it me or are these Ross brothers just hellbent on ruining the fun of the blog?
Plaxico Buress is an idiot.
Enjoy the game.
Saturday, November 29, 2008
Friday, November 28, 2008
There's no doubt that
.... the option "Sherman" would have been a huge favorite had I been offering betting on who would win my most recent poll. But I have to admit that I was surprised to see how easily he ran away with it. Only two of the ballots cast were not for Jeff and poor Elaina didn't get a single vote. (Maybe she really does have better things to do in Blacksburg than read this garbage....) Amanda is on record saying that she would read the blog more often but claims she doesn't know the URL. (Such a liar....) But the people clearly don't believe Jeff when he says he has better things to do than read the blog. Sorry, bro - You're not fooling anyone.
I have a few thoughts about about yesterday's NFL action (They are almost all negative), some college basketball comments (Ditto) and I'll at least try to throw in some of the typical Hoffy, Jorgie, Ed, etc.... nonsense. I haven't blogged in a while because the last one was so well received I wanted to leave it up there for as long as possible.
Okay, that's bullshit. I just didn't feeling like doing one. Until now.
* The #1 problem I had with yesterday's NFL slate was that they were all just really, really crappy games. The Detroit Lions are barely an NFL team. From a competitive standpoint, the game was over about midway through the 1st quarter. I was up in time for the start of the game, thanks in part to a phone call from people on the East Coast who still don't understand the concept of time zones, and I tried to watch the game from the start. It was so bad that I literally gave up on it during the 1st quarter and tried to go back to sleep. (That would not have happened if I had action on the game.)
The Lions were completely manhandled at the line of scrimmage on both sides of the ball yesterday. They will have 3 of the first 33 picks in next April's draft and the only chance they have of being even remotely competitive in 2009 would be to use all of those picks on linemen. Look at what Bill Parcells did with the Dolphins: He drafted an offensive tackle 1st overall, a defensive end with the first pick in the second round and brought in a handful of other linemen through free agency. The Lions should at least attempt to do something similar. What will they do? Reach for a QB who isn't worthy of being the 1st overall pick just because they need one. (See: Smith, Alex.)
* The Titans-Lions game was crap but the Dallas game was just completely unwatchable for me. Joe Buck's shameless fawning over Tony Romo is beyond nauseating at this point. "Romo spins away from the defender and makes the pass! Complete!! Wow what a play by Romo!! Okay, that will bring up second and eight." I'll never forget a comment by Buck during last season's Redskins-Cowboys game in Dallas. The Redskins blitzed and Romo had to back up quickly and spin away from a linebacker to avoid a sack. It was a relatively athletic move and if he had just turned and thrown the ball out of bounds it would have been a good play. Instead he spun around and without even looking down the field he heaved it deep towards Terrell Owens. Unfortunately, there were three Redskins waiting down there and the ball landed in the hands of one of them, a good 5 yards short of Owens. It honestly looked like a throw one might make in a game of 500.
Buck's response: "Great play by Romo to get it down there."
Down there to who? To the Redskins?
If you had to point to one reason why Romo became such a big star it's probably because FOX insists on broadcasting every Dallas game on national TV, with a broadcast team of Buck and Aikman and Joe kissing Romo's ass throughout the game no matter how many terrible, boneheaded plays he makes. And people like Austin completely buy into the notion that this guy is somehow a great player because when he lobs the ball in the general vicinity of Owens or Jason Witten they come down with it. Maybe the Cowboys offense looked so good the last two games because Romo is "Back" or maybe, just maybe it's because the 49ers and Seahawks are a combined 5-18 this year. Hard to say.
* I made an effort to watch the Cardinals-Eagles game for NFL SuperFan Ed Salmons who flew across the United States just to attend an NFL game in person on a national holiday. That is true commitment to a sport he loves. Unfortunately, the Arizona Cardinals defense didn't make the trip with him. It really sucks that crummy teams like the Cardinals and Broncos and whoever wins the clusterfuck that is the NFC North will all be hosting postseason games this year while good teams from the NFC East and NFC South will be squeezed out. My favorite thing about the Eagles game was that the team told all of its fans that it was going to be a "Blackout" game and that they should all wear black. I didn't realize it was their homecoming game. Let's assume it lead to an exchange between Ed and his wife along the lines of:
Ed: Okay, I'm leaving to go watch this garbage game!
Mrs. Ed: Wait, Ed. Did you remember to wear a black shirt?
Ed: What? No. Why?
Mrs. Ed: They are having a "Blackout" tonight. All the fans are supposed to wear black.
Ed: Racist.
Mrs. Ed: What?
Ed: Nevermind.
Mrs. Ed: I laid out a black shirt for you. Didn't you see it?
(Ed hesitates as he contemplates going upstairs to change into a black shirt so that he will fit in with all of his Philadelphia brethren.)
Mrs. Ed: Ed?
Ed: (As he puts on the shirt) I hate this stupid league.
Mrs. Ed: Don't forget to wear a jacket, honey. It's going to be cold out there.
Ed: It's a luxury suite. I'm sure it's heated. I just hope they have plenty of Zima.... I gotta go. The limo's here.
By the way, I did notice a few scattered boos during the game last night, even as the Eagles were rolling to an easy win. What a great sports town.
* I really have no problem with the guy but I'm pretty sure that Tennessee basketball coach Bruce Pearl is a scumbag. He's always got a shiteating grin on his face. He's always bringing in "Transfers" from other schools. And let's not forget about that picture of him hanging out with the voluptuous Erin Andrews. I know he's a complete scumbag and he's trying to trick us all into thinking he's a fun and quirky guy by doing ridiculous stunts. I'm on to this guy and I want all 4 of you to be on to him, too.
* It would have been nice to spend Thanksgiving with my family like many of you. Or to spend it watching my favorite sport in person, the way Ed did. I took another approach. After watching hours of terrible football games (And forcing out a late night degenerate college basketball bet on Baylor) I hit the town with The Hoff. I know he's been compared to Matt Damon's character in The Departed and Don Cheadle's character in Boogie Nights in this space before, but the character he most closely resembles is really Dustin Hoffman's Rainman.
After we bet Baylor, Scott sat down to watch the game as one of the Providence kids made a goofy shot. I cursed and Scott asked me, "Wait, what do we have again?" Later that night, while watching the Nuggets-Hornets game at a bar, a kid made a shot and The H didn't even know which team was which despite the game being in the 4th quarter and him having made a bet on it sufficient enough to move the line. The guy is amazing.
He won both bets, by the way. But he seemed happiest when he noticed that the line moved 5 cents following his Nuggets bets. The Rainman.
Anyways, I never thought I'd experience a Thanksgiving night that featured games of pool at 2 AM with a stripper who was crammed into an outfit that didn't quite fit her. We had to pay for the games and buy her $8 shots at the bar and in exchange we could watch her spill out of her costume while she bent over to make a shot. No matter what either one of us says, we both took it too seriously and we both lost to the crazy bitch anyways. When I got home this morning, I realized that I really don't have much to be thankful for if that's how I'm spending a national holiday.
Trivia Question for Friday: Name 5 of the assistant coaches from the 1992 Green Bay Packers that went on to become NFL head coaches.
** Last Friday's Answer: I really have no idea. I was trying to look that up for Ed the other day and I couldn't find it and I was hoping someone else would do it for me if I posted it in the blog. Ross may very well be right but for now I'm going to go with Ed's theory that no such rules are in place and if that ever actually happened we'd see panic levels that would make Sherman on a Tuesday afternoon look like a cool customer.
I guess I'll watch Giants-Redskins on Sunday morning. Even though the Skins defense is dealing with numerous injuries to key guys and my brother is bringing his jinx girlfriend to the game. I hate sports.
Enjoy the game.
I have a few thoughts about about yesterday's NFL action (They are almost all negative), some college basketball comments (Ditto) and I'll at least try to throw in some of the typical Hoffy, Jorgie, Ed, etc.... nonsense. I haven't blogged in a while because the last one was so well received I wanted to leave it up there for as long as possible.
Okay, that's bullshit. I just didn't feeling like doing one. Until now.
* The #1 problem I had with yesterday's NFL slate was that they were all just really, really crappy games. The Detroit Lions are barely an NFL team. From a competitive standpoint, the game was over about midway through the 1st quarter. I was up in time for the start of the game, thanks in part to a phone call from people on the East Coast who still don't understand the concept of time zones, and I tried to watch the game from the start. It was so bad that I literally gave up on it during the 1st quarter and tried to go back to sleep. (That would not have happened if I had action on the game.)
The Lions were completely manhandled at the line of scrimmage on both sides of the ball yesterday. They will have 3 of the first 33 picks in next April's draft and the only chance they have of being even remotely competitive in 2009 would be to use all of those picks on linemen. Look at what Bill Parcells did with the Dolphins: He drafted an offensive tackle 1st overall, a defensive end with the first pick in the second round and brought in a handful of other linemen through free agency. The Lions should at least attempt to do something similar. What will they do? Reach for a QB who isn't worthy of being the 1st overall pick just because they need one. (See: Smith, Alex.)
* The Titans-Lions game was crap but the Dallas game was just completely unwatchable for me. Joe Buck's shameless fawning over Tony Romo is beyond nauseating at this point. "Romo spins away from the defender and makes the pass! Complete!! Wow what a play by Romo!! Okay, that will bring up second and eight." I'll never forget a comment by Buck during last season's Redskins-Cowboys game in Dallas. The Redskins blitzed and Romo had to back up quickly and spin away from a linebacker to avoid a sack. It was a relatively athletic move and if he had just turned and thrown the ball out of bounds it would have been a good play. Instead he spun around and without even looking down the field he heaved it deep towards Terrell Owens. Unfortunately, there were three Redskins waiting down there and the ball landed in the hands of one of them, a good 5 yards short of Owens. It honestly looked like a throw one might make in a game of 500.
Buck's response: "Great play by Romo to get it down there."
Down there to who? To the Redskins?
If you had to point to one reason why Romo became such a big star it's probably because FOX insists on broadcasting every Dallas game on national TV, with a broadcast team of Buck and Aikman and Joe kissing Romo's ass throughout the game no matter how many terrible, boneheaded plays he makes. And people like Austin completely buy into the notion that this guy is somehow a great player because when he lobs the ball in the general vicinity of Owens or Jason Witten they come down with it. Maybe the Cowboys offense looked so good the last two games because Romo is "Back" or maybe, just maybe it's because the 49ers and Seahawks are a combined 5-18 this year. Hard to say.
* I made an effort to watch the Cardinals-Eagles game for NFL SuperFan Ed Salmons who flew across the United States just to attend an NFL game in person on a national holiday. That is true commitment to a sport he loves. Unfortunately, the Arizona Cardinals defense didn't make the trip with him. It really sucks that crummy teams like the Cardinals and Broncos and whoever wins the clusterfuck that is the NFC North will all be hosting postseason games this year while good teams from the NFC East and NFC South will be squeezed out. My favorite thing about the Eagles game was that the team told all of its fans that it was going to be a "Blackout" game and that they should all wear black. I didn't realize it was their homecoming game. Let's assume it lead to an exchange between Ed and his wife along the lines of:
Ed: Okay, I'm leaving to go watch this garbage game!
Mrs. Ed: Wait, Ed. Did you remember to wear a black shirt?
Ed: What? No. Why?
Mrs. Ed: They are having a "Blackout" tonight. All the fans are supposed to wear black.
Ed: Racist.
Mrs. Ed: What?
Ed: Nevermind.
Mrs. Ed: I laid out a black shirt for you. Didn't you see it?
(Ed hesitates as he contemplates going upstairs to change into a black shirt so that he will fit in with all of his Philadelphia brethren.)
Mrs. Ed: Ed?
Ed: (As he puts on the shirt) I hate this stupid league.
Mrs. Ed: Don't forget to wear a jacket, honey. It's going to be cold out there.
Ed: It's a luxury suite. I'm sure it's heated. I just hope they have plenty of Zima.... I gotta go. The limo's here.
By the way, I did notice a few scattered boos during the game last night, even as the Eagles were rolling to an easy win. What a great sports town.
* I really have no problem with the guy but I'm pretty sure that Tennessee basketball coach Bruce Pearl is a scumbag. He's always got a shiteating grin on his face. He's always bringing in "Transfers" from other schools. And let's not forget about that picture of him hanging out with the voluptuous Erin Andrews. I know he's a complete scumbag and he's trying to trick us all into thinking he's a fun and quirky guy by doing ridiculous stunts. I'm on to this guy and I want all 4 of you to be on to him, too.
* It would have been nice to spend Thanksgiving with my family like many of you. Or to spend it watching my favorite sport in person, the way Ed did. I took another approach. After watching hours of terrible football games (And forcing out a late night degenerate college basketball bet on Baylor) I hit the town with The Hoff. I know he's been compared to Matt Damon's character in The Departed and Don Cheadle's character in Boogie Nights in this space before, but the character he most closely resembles is really Dustin Hoffman's Rainman.
After we bet Baylor, Scott sat down to watch the game as one of the Providence kids made a goofy shot. I cursed and Scott asked me, "Wait, what do we have again?" Later that night, while watching the Nuggets-Hornets game at a bar, a kid made a shot and The H didn't even know which team was which despite the game being in the 4th quarter and him having made a bet on it sufficient enough to move the line. The guy is amazing.
He won both bets, by the way. But he seemed happiest when he noticed that the line moved 5 cents following his Nuggets bets. The Rainman.
Anyways, I never thought I'd experience a Thanksgiving night that featured games of pool at 2 AM with a stripper who was crammed into an outfit that didn't quite fit her. We had to pay for the games and buy her $8 shots at the bar and in exchange we could watch her spill out of her costume while she bent over to make a shot. No matter what either one of us says, we both took it too seriously and we both lost to the crazy bitch anyways. When I got home this morning, I realized that I really don't have much to be thankful for if that's how I'm spending a national holiday.
Trivia Question for Friday: Name 5 of the assistant coaches from the 1992 Green Bay Packers that went on to become NFL head coaches.
** Last Friday's Answer: I really have no idea. I was trying to look that up for Ed the other day and I couldn't find it and I was hoping someone else would do it for me if I posted it in the blog. Ross may very well be right but for now I'm going to go with Ed's theory that no such rules are in place and if that ever actually happened we'd see panic levels that would make Sherman on a Tuesday afternoon look like a cool customer.
I guess I'll watch Giants-Redskins on Sunday morning. Even though the Skins defense is dealing with numerous injuries to key guys and my brother is bringing his jinx girlfriend to the game. I hate sports.
Enjoy the game.
Friday, November 21, 2008
Now that NASCAR is over
.... I guess I have to watch football on Sundays. It's not how I want to spend my Sunday afternoons but I have no choice until the Cup boys start running again in February. Don't get me wrong - I love the sport of football more than any other. But the league is just such complete garbage this year that it's hard to get excited about it. The coaching leaguewide is just abysmal. The level of QB play is so bad that Brady Quinn can come off the bench and actually look decent relative to the rest of the league in his first two starts. Half of the officials seem to be making up the rules as they go.
I'm mostly just disappointed that the Redskins are going through yet another November swoon, losing to mediocre teams like the Steelers and Cowboys at home and giving away any chance they had at a decent seed in the playoffs. They'll be lucky to even make it all now with great teams like Ed's Eagles and Jeff's Falcons nipping at their heels in the wild card race. Next year I'm going to try to be like Bennett and pretend I don't care any more and see if that helps ease the pain when the Skins piss away home games against crap teams. (I already know that it won't.)
I enjoyed this article by Bill Simmons about the disappearance of home field advantage in the NFL. The Redskins have no real home field advantage at FedEx Field because so many people just go to the games so they can tell their friends and co-workers "Yeah, I'm going to the Redskins game this weekend." They don't care if the team wins or loses and they certainly don't have the sense to help create a home field advantage. In fact, the Redskins even have signs on the JumboTron for these people that say "Quiet. Offense at Work." when the Skins have the ball or "Make Noise!!!" when the other team has it. It's a fuckin' embarrassment. The league has squeezed out the majority of people who get drunk and stand and cheer throughout the game to make room for more corporate people like Ed who just want to sit in their luxury suite and sip on wine. There just aren't enough people like my Dad (Passionate fans who also have the $$$ to pay the outrageous ticket costs) to fill a 90,000+ seat stadium. You can't even stand up at a Redskins game without having to look behind you to make sure you aren't blocking the view of some jackass who wants to sit there and flip through the program and play with his cell phone for 4 hours.
Everyone is so concerned about having home field advantage throughout the playoffs but the last 3 Super Bowl champions all played on wild card weekend. The '05 Steelers and '07 Giants both won 3 consecutive road playoff games to get to the Super Bowl and the '06 Colts had to win at Baltimore to get to the AFC Championship game. Home field advantage in the NFL is gone and I blame two groups of people: Greedy owners like Dan Snyder who want to put in luxury suites and club level seats everywhere, charge people ridiculously high prices, and squeeze out us Joe 12-packs, and elitists like Ed who buy up these fabulous seats the rest of us can't afford and then sit on their hands throughout the game.
For shame.
* Speaking of Ed, he got all mad at me on Sunday for not "Giving him" any of my Carl Edwards at 4-1 in the Cup race. Can you believe this guy? First of all, he told me on Saturday night that Edwards looked like garbage in practice and that he wouldn't have bet on him at 5-1. He'd also told me earlier in the week that LVSC sent Cousin Carl at 4 so naturally I assumed that Ed's boy had already grabbed some for their group. Also keep in mind that with the limits these books are taking on NASCAR these days (Whose fault is that?) the most I could have given Ed's crew would have been like $30 each. I don't like Matt tattling on me to Ed like a little kid. I don't like Ed threatening me for not giving his group a cut of my ticket. And I especially don't like the idea that I am expected to pay tribute to Ed by kicking money upstairs when I win a bet like he is some kind of Mob boss.
* Believe me Ed: You wouldn't want a share of everything I bet anyways, bro. Most of my stuff is complete slop. Look at my teasers with the Eagles and Jaguars last weekend. You guys want a piece of that? If there's anyone you should be trying to get a cut from it's The Hoff. The guy is amazing. He's even winning NBA side bets on full games. I honestly didn't think that was possible. The other day, Matt hilariously compared Hoffy to Matt Damon's character in The Departed saying that he thinks Billy Walters has spent years grooming Hoffman with the intention to one day have him infiltrate the sports book industry and dominate it from the inside. I thought that was really funny but I think the movie character Scott most reminds me of is the guy played by Don Cheadle in Boogie Nights. Remember the scene when he goes into the donut shop and it ends up being robbed and everyone inside is killed but him? He then finds himself standing alone in the middle of the shop with the cash register wide open and money hanging out of it. Now that's The Hoff.
* Speaking of movies, I'm surprised by how many of you haven't seen Boiler Room. That is a seriously funny movie and one of my favorite movies to quote, alongside Anchorman, Two For The Money, Top Gun, Super Troopers, and The 40 Year Old Virgin. Those of you who haven't seen Boiler Room should really get on that.
* Since this is (allegedly) a blog about sports gambling, I guess I am obligated to mention the play at the end of the Chargers-Steelers game. It definitely looked like a touchdown to me. I know that the kids would have been a lot happier with a Steelers cover. I also know that there was a certain group with the razor sharp number of Chargers +3 who were very pleased to see that touchdown not count. My official stance? I'd be completely indifferent but a few kids I book for laid the points with the Steelers so I'm glad the refs blew the call. What a league.
* I know I haven't talked about Jorgen in this space in a while. It's just difficult for me because every time I type his name, I start to choke up. The kid did make me a few bucks two weeks ago with his release on Iowa State to cover at Colorado. One could make the argument that Jorgie is a sharp sharp when it comes to Iowa State football. Jorgen says that he misses the people he used to work with at the Hilton very much but it seems to me that he's getting pretty comfortable at the Venetian. The last time I was there, Jorgen and the other writers were giving each other nicknames and joking around while they waited to punch their 4th ticket of the hour. And last night when I was with The Hoff and Jorgen's name came up, Scotty whipped out his IPhone and showed Franco and I pictures of Jorgen and Amanda. I know that Scott was just trying to show off his IPhone but it was still kind of weird.
Hoffman's exact reaction to the above paragraph: "I get FaceBook on my phone, dick."
(Okay, Scott that's all I have on you today. Can you scroll back up to the top and read the parts that didn't have your name in them, too? Thanks, bro.)
* Before I end this thing, I want to talk about the fantasy football team I co-manage with Austin. Let's think back to some of the greatest football teams of the last 25 years. The 1985 Bears come to mind. Last year's Patriots were pretty good. And, of course, this year's Eagles team with their flashy 5-4-1 record coming off last year's last place finish in the division is a true juggernaut. But I think the team Austin and I have compiled is better than any of them. Our WRs are Terrell Owens, Brandon Marshall, and Steve Smith. You'd be lucky to have a WR group like that in an 8 team league. Brandon Jacobs is running wild. Maurice Jones-Drew may set a record for most 2 TD/30 yards rushing games in NFL history. DeAngelo Williams is capable of busting a long run on any play. (Just imagine what we would be doing to this league if we had a quarterback.)
There are certain people at work (I'm not going to name names but I think we all know who they are) who are openly rooting against us winning this league. I would like to formally invite these people to suck my balls. Austin and I (Or me and Austin if that's easier for you to comprehend, Ed) will be winning the league. And we will be splitting the generous cash prize at the end of it. And I will be mentioning our triumph every day for the rest of my life. Not because I am really that proud of it. Just because I really enjoy busting CB's balls, especially when it's over something he is pretending to not care about.
Okay, I guess I am naming names after all.
Trivia Question for Friday: Donovan McNabb apparently knows nothing about the NFL's overtime rules. Let's see if you guys do. If there was an NFL playoff game that was still tied at the end of a second overtime, what would happen? In other words, is there a halftime? Do they kickoff again to start the third overtime? Or is the ball still where it was at the end of the second OT? If you can answer this one, I will be seriously impressed.
Saturday's Answer: Scott Caan's character "Richie" had that quote. I may have to go back to the Boiler Room well again for future trivia questions.
Need Michigan State and Oklahoma to win tomorrow. And I guess I'll sit through the Redskins game on Sunday. They'll win because every dummy who thinks he is sharp is grabbing that 3.5.
I'm going to see Jerry Seinfeld tonight at Caesars Palace.
You guys need to find something better to do than read my blog. Be more like Jeff. He has no time for this thing.... Or does he? Interesting poll question this week.
Enjoy the game.
I'm mostly just disappointed that the Redskins are going through yet another November swoon, losing to mediocre teams like the Steelers and Cowboys at home and giving away any chance they had at a decent seed in the playoffs. They'll be lucky to even make it all now with great teams like Ed's Eagles and Jeff's Falcons nipping at their heels in the wild card race. Next year I'm going to try to be like Bennett and pretend I don't care any more and see if that helps ease the pain when the Skins piss away home games against crap teams. (I already know that it won't.)
I enjoyed this article by Bill Simmons about the disappearance of home field advantage in the NFL. The Redskins have no real home field advantage at FedEx Field because so many people just go to the games so they can tell their friends and co-workers "Yeah, I'm going to the Redskins game this weekend." They don't care if the team wins or loses and they certainly don't have the sense to help create a home field advantage. In fact, the Redskins even have signs on the JumboTron for these people that say "Quiet. Offense at Work." when the Skins have the ball or "Make Noise!!!" when the other team has it. It's a fuckin' embarrassment. The league has squeezed out the majority of people who get drunk and stand and cheer throughout the game to make room for more corporate people like Ed who just want to sit in their luxury suite and sip on wine. There just aren't enough people like my Dad (Passionate fans who also have the $$$ to pay the outrageous ticket costs) to fill a 90,000+ seat stadium. You can't even stand up at a Redskins game without having to look behind you to make sure you aren't blocking the view of some jackass who wants to sit there and flip through the program and play with his cell phone for 4 hours.
Everyone is so concerned about having home field advantage throughout the playoffs but the last 3 Super Bowl champions all played on wild card weekend. The '05 Steelers and '07 Giants both won 3 consecutive road playoff games to get to the Super Bowl and the '06 Colts had to win at Baltimore to get to the AFC Championship game. Home field advantage in the NFL is gone and I blame two groups of people: Greedy owners like Dan Snyder who want to put in luxury suites and club level seats everywhere, charge people ridiculously high prices, and squeeze out us Joe 12-packs, and elitists like Ed who buy up these fabulous seats the rest of us can't afford and then sit on their hands throughout the game.
For shame.
* Speaking of Ed, he got all mad at me on Sunday for not "Giving him" any of my Carl Edwards at 4-1 in the Cup race. Can you believe this guy? First of all, he told me on Saturday night that Edwards looked like garbage in practice and that he wouldn't have bet on him at 5-1. He'd also told me earlier in the week that LVSC sent Cousin Carl at 4 so naturally I assumed that Ed's boy had already grabbed some for their group. Also keep in mind that with the limits these books are taking on NASCAR these days (Whose fault is that?) the most I could have given Ed's crew would have been like $30 each. I don't like Matt tattling on me to Ed like a little kid. I don't like Ed threatening me for not giving his group a cut of my ticket. And I especially don't like the idea that I am expected to pay tribute to Ed by kicking money upstairs when I win a bet like he is some kind of Mob boss.
* Believe me Ed: You wouldn't want a share of everything I bet anyways, bro. Most of my stuff is complete slop. Look at my teasers with the Eagles and Jaguars last weekend. You guys want a piece of that? If there's anyone you should be trying to get a cut from it's The Hoff. The guy is amazing. He's even winning NBA side bets on full games. I honestly didn't think that was possible. The other day, Matt hilariously compared Hoffy to Matt Damon's character in The Departed saying that he thinks Billy Walters has spent years grooming Hoffman with the intention to one day have him infiltrate the sports book industry and dominate it from the inside. I thought that was really funny but I think the movie character Scott most reminds me of is the guy played by Don Cheadle in Boogie Nights. Remember the scene when he goes into the donut shop and it ends up being robbed and everyone inside is killed but him? He then finds himself standing alone in the middle of the shop with the cash register wide open and money hanging out of it. Now that's The Hoff.
* Speaking of movies, I'm surprised by how many of you haven't seen Boiler Room. That is a seriously funny movie and one of my favorite movies to quote, alongside Anchorman, Two For The Money, Top Gun, Super Troopers, and The 40 Year Old Virgin. Those of you who haven't seen Boiler Room should really get on that.
* Since this is (allegedly) a blog about sports gambling, I guess I am obligated to mention the play at the end of the Chargers-Steelers game. It definitely looked like a touchdown to me. I know that the kids would have been a lot happier with a Steelers cover. I also know that there was a certain group with the razor sharp number of Chargers +3 who were very pleased to see that touchdown not count. My official stance? I'd be completely indifferent but a few kids I book for laid the points with the Steelers so I'm glad the refs blew the call. What a league.
* I know I haven't talked about Jorgen in this space in a while. It's just difficult for me because every time I type his name, I start to choke up. The kid did make me a few bucks two weeks ago with his release on Iowa State to cover at Colorado. One could make the argument that Jorgie is a sharp sharp when it comes to Iowa State football. Jorgen says that he misses the people he used to work with at the Hilton very much but it seems to me that he's getting pretty comfortable at the Venetian. The last time I was there, Jorgen and the other writers were giving each other nicknames and joking around while they waited to punch their 4th ticket of the hour. And last night when I was with The Hoff and Jorgen's name came up, Scotty whipped out his IPhone and showed Franco and I pictures of Jorgen and Amanda. I know that Scott was just trying to show off his IPhone but it was still kind of weird.
Hoffman's exact reaction to the above paragraph: "I get FaceBook on my phone, dick."
(Okay, Scott that's all I have on you today. Can you scroll back up to the top and read the parts that didn't have your name in them, too? Thanks, bro.)
* Before I end this thing, I want to talk about the fantasy football team I co-manage with Austin. Let's think back to some of the greatest football teams of the last 25 years. The 1985 Bears come to mind. Last year's Patriots were pretty good. And, of course, this year's Eagles team with their flashy 5-4-1 record coming off last year's last place finish in the division is a true juggernaut. But I think the team Austin and I have compiled is better than any of them. Our WRs are Terrell Owens, Brandon Marshall, and Steve Smith. You'd be lucky to have a WR group like that in an 8 team league. Brandon Jacobs is running wild. Maurice Jones-Drew may set a record for most 2 TD/30 yards rushing games in NFL history. DeAngelo Williams is capable of busting a long run on any play. (Just imagine what we would be doing to this league if we had a quarterback.)
There are certain people at work (I'm not going to name names but I think we all know who they are) who are openly rooting against us winning this league. I would like to formally invite these people to suck my balls. Austin and I (Or me and Austin if that's easier for you to comprehend, Ed) will be winning the league. And we will be splitting the generous cash prize at the end of it. And I will be mentioning our triumph every day for the rest of my life. Not because I am really that proud of it. Just because I really enjoy busting CB's balls, especially when it's over something he is pretending to not care about.
Okay, I guess I am naming names after all.
Trivia Question for Friday: Donovan McNabb apparently knows nothing about the NFL's overtime rules. Let's see if you guys do. If there was an NFL playoff game that was still tied at the end of a second overtime, what would happen? In other words, is there a halftime? Do they kickoff again to start the third overtime? Or is the ball still where it was at the end of the second OT? If you can answer this one, I will be seriously impressed.
Saturday's Answer: Scott Caan's character "Richie" had that quote. I may have to go back to the Boiler Room well again for future trivia questions.
Need Michigan State and Oklahoma to win tomorrow. And I guess I'll sit through the Redskins game on Sunday. They'll win because every dummy who thinks he is sharp is grabbing that 3.5.
I'm going to see Jerry Seinfeld tonight at Caesars Palace.
You guys need to find something better to do than read my blog. Be more like Jeff. He has no time for this thing.... Or does he? Interesting poll question this week.
Enjoy the game.
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Carl Edwards
May be the blog's biggest hero....
