I didn't realize

.... how long it had been since I blogged until Friday afternoon when Matt asked me if I even had a blog any more. So even though I have absolutely nothing to say about anything, I'll force out several hundred words for you guys to enjoy. (All I'm going to do is make fun of Bennett. And Sherman. Oh and Matt, too. Probably some Ed in there. And obviously Scott. Maybe a dash of Jorgen. Just read it. Or don't. I don't care. I just write it for my own amusement anyway.)

* In my new position, I spend a lot of time working with CB which is both good and bad. It's good because Chris is preposterously sharp and just by being in the same room as him I can feel myself becoming a wiser sports bettor. But it's also bad because Chris is - for lack of a better word - an asshole and he is on a seemingly constant mission to remind me that he is still my work superior. Dude - I get it. You are far more important than I am. Shut up already. That reminds me - Congrats on the promotion, Chris. You earned it, bro. (I am smirking as I type this. Now I'm giggling a little. Now I'm just laughing out loud over how funny I am. Sorry, Chris. Seriously though - congrats.... I'm giggling again.)

Because Chris is constantly busting my balls, I have to fire back throughout my shift with little jabs of my own. (Why not just let it go, you ask? Because I too am an asshole.) The other day I was talking about how sharp Chris is in front of everyone else in an effort to make him uncomfortable and I made a joke about how people at sports books around town must react after Chris has bet into one of their numbers. I said I figured that after Bennett makes a bet and is walking out the door, the various supervisors on hand gather around and yell at each other for hanging such a stupid number while frantically checking the offshore books to find out what the number should have been. Chris in no way denied that this is true, by the way.

This got me thinking - What happens when some of the other top sharps in town make a bet? Here's my take:

- Let's start with the boss hog - Ed. I have to admit that If I ran my own book and Ed made a bet there I would panic. If he's going in person to fire on something, your book probably fucked up. I figure that after Ed bets, the supervisor mutters something under his breath about how sarcastic that guy was and, after aggressively moving the line, makes a mental note to root against that bet winning so that the sarcastic mocker on the other side of the counter will be unhappy.

- Jeff making a bet can cause major problems for a sports book. If there is only one teller open at the time of Jeff's bet, the book has to briefly close while he or she counts all that money. This can take up to 20 minutes. After Jeff cashes a ticket, the supervisor on duty has to call the cage to get a fill of money. Most books have requested that Jeff call ahead before coming in to cash a ticket so that they will have ample time to get the money together.

- After Matt makes a bet, the supervisor moves the line then asks the teller why he/she didn't "Ask that cocky little shit for his ID."

- After Jorgen makes a bet, the supervisor or manager on duty usually yells at him as he is walking out the door, telling him that he is never welcome to set foot in that casino again. What a scumbag that kid is.

- After Scotty Hoff - aka God's gift to sports betting - makes a bet, the supervisor wonders why he took the time to calculate exactly how much he could bet for his ticket to pay $9,999 despite the bet having no chance in hell of winning.

- So what happens after I make a bet you're wondering? I'm such a moron that the management team usually decides to move the number the other way both to mock me and to encourage money to come in on the other side. I'm not going to lie, it hurts, but give me a few more months working side-by-side CB and maybe one day I'll be where these other legends already are.

There just isn't a lot going on in the sports world right now, leaving me with very little to rant about. But here you go, anyway:

* I've had enough baseball for one year. Baseball Prospectus has blown it out their ass this season and it's costing me money. It's gotten so bad that my latest calculations have me losing nearly one Sherman betting unit between my baseball season bets and the fantasy team I share with Austin. My parents may have to sell their house to help me out with such a debt.

* I have a bet on the Minnesota Twins to win the AL Central and was keeping tabs on their game against the Oakland A's tonight as I blogged. The Twins were up 12-2 against the A's (The A's!!!) and actually blew that lead before being robbed by a very questionable call at home plate in the 9th inning that would have and should have tied the game. The only possible explanation for this comeback is that Hoffman secretly bet the A's without posting. Even though I had a shocking 3-0 day on Monday, I still hate baseball. I really do.

* Check out this new baseball betting system: If the Nationals or Padres are ever favored for any reason, or if the price on their game is anywhere near even money, simply bet on the other team. I know it's not as complicated as Scott's "Bet on all the underdogs on my days off" system, but I think it could be equally effective.

* Instead of losing my money following what a bunch of asshole writers say, I'm going to lose money following my own opinions in football. I've made some future bets on the following NFL teams: Packers, Bengals, Colts, Jaguars, Seahawks, and Eagles. I've also made some bets going against these teams: Dolphins, Cardinals, and Bears. I'd also like to fade the Cowboys and Texans at some point.

* One team I can't decide what to do with is the Denver Broncos. Everyone hates that team this year. The sharpest sharps come in to bet against them in Games of the Year. I hear other guys I consider to be very sharp talking about how bad they are going to be. But I also hear the same talk from people I consider square. I also hear it from tourists, from run-of-the-mill morons, even from people I know who are from Colorado and are Broncos fans. Everyone is down on this team from the most objective sharp to the most biased square.

While I don't like the fact that they are matched up against the NFC East for four games in which they will most likely be an underdog, I do like that they get to play the Raiders and Chiefs twice each and feel that having one of the best offensive lines in the NFL will make up for the departure of overrated crybaby QB Jay Cutler. Denver had one of the worst defenses in the NFL last season and still won 8 games. I don't see how they could possibly be worse on that side of the ball this season. I see a Broncos 'Over' wins bet in my future.

* I'd like to give some thoughts on college football but I clearly know nothing about it. I will say that I feel several teams are being overrated by the powers that be, specifically Ole Miss and Notre Dame. If you were to ask me for a team that could be really good that no one is talking about I would give you Georgia. They lost their biggest name players at QB and RB, but return their entire starting offensive line from last season and most of their defense. Stafford and Moreno weren't the only reasons the Bulldogs were a trendy pick to win it all in 2008. I also think Michigan will be good this year and watch out for Alabama - They bring back nearly everyone from a great defense and miss both Florida and Georgia this year.

That will do for today. I'd like to tell you guys that I'm going to start blogging more frequently again but we all know that's a lie. I tweet now. So why blog? I thought I was going to mainly mock Chris and Matt but ended up just piling on Scotty. The guy has been extra cocky lately.... probably why I couldn't resist. Sorry, bro.


Enjoy the summer.