What happens to a blogger

.... when he has no interest in writing anymore?

He does a podcast: Ross and I ramble on about everything from Jeff's busy schedule to Jorgen's purse.

Enjoy.

Stop telling me that I haven't

.... been blogging lately. There's all kinds of crazy shit going on every day right over here - 2009 Baseball Contest and that should be enough to keep everyone satisfied.

Do you people have any appreciation for what's happening at that blog? Chris Bennett (Yes, him, the scumbag kid) is posting his personal baseball plays. For free. Every day. We can all quit our jobs! Just be careful not to overload the server refreshing it repeatedly. (I had that problem with Jeff trying to read my blog a few months ago. Very sad.)

And it's not just Chris (Although in point of fact the "Contest" is just an elaborate farce for me to see who he likes every day.) Hoffman is in a zone right now unlike anything any of us have ever witnessed. In fact, I have taken the liberty of printing up LeBron James-inspired "Witness" t-shirts for us to all wear in homage to the month Scott is having betting baseball. That kid is beyond sharp. Hoff - I want to publicly apologize for the "Horseshoe up your ass" comment I made last night. I was drunk. I mean let's face it - You have had a lot of positive variance lately and that was a funny line but still - I'm sorry.

And guys please go here - Damn. This Guy Is SHARP!

We also have Metcalf posting total plays using some fancy Calculus For Future Astronauts math that only Chris could possibly understand. Plus Matt's taking the time to post rap lyrics which I really appreciate. Ideally, I would like for the contest to evolve into a sort of online rap battle in which everyone oohs and aahs when another contestant makes a particularly stinging comment about Bennett or Sherman using a mid to late 90s rap song that no one my brother's age has ever heard. In a perfect world it would be like that show Yo Mama on MTV where everyone stands around and laughs at the person who was "Dissed." I think if everyone who reads the blog chipped in like 20 bucks we could even get Wilmer Valderrama to be the emcee.

In addition to that Holy Trinity of sharp sharps, there's a few other guys posting their plays. And we're trying to recruit Ed and a few other sharps to make it even more competitive. I've even had a lot of positive variance this month so I'm up near the top. Will that last? Stay tuned....

(Although it almost certainly will not.)


Here are some quick thoughts before I go watch the new ep of SP I DVRed last night while I was out throwing money around like a teenage Arab with Scotty and Austin:

* Why are we even playing the NBA Playoffs? Let's just fast forward to June and Game 1 of Lakers-Cavaliers at the Q. Not only are they clearly the best teams in their respective conferences, the NBA would never allow one of them to lose to an Orlando or a Denver. The NBA is like WWE. With black people.

* Actual argument I had with a professional clothes remover last night: I maintained that LeBron James is already better than Michael Jordan ever was. Her and Austin took MJ's side. And this girl was from Cleveland! Doesn't she remember MJ's shot over Craig Ehlo? Needless to say, she left soon after.

* When I woke this morning, er afternoon, I saw that the Chiefs had traded Tony Gonzalez to the Falcons for a draft pick. So, obviously, I texted the only die hard Falcons fan I know to congratulate him on his team acquiring a future Hall-of-Famer. And Jeff didn't even respond. Either he didn't like the trade or he lost his cell phone at a strip club last night.... Eh, no one would be that dumb.

* The Nationals were winning going into the 9th inning on Friday, Saturday, AND Sunday of their 3 game series with the Marlins over the weekend. They lost all 3 games. I hate D.C. area sports teams.

* The Redskins aren't really going to trade 2 1st round picks for Mark Sanchez are they? I'm going to have to watch the NFL Draft from underneath my covers. I hate D.C. area sports teams.

* The Capitals.... I don't even want to talk about it. I really do hate D.C. area sports teams.


I'm done.

UConn Lady Huskies

.... Basketball. Now that's a great team.

I think I actually won more than 1 Sherman Betting Unit thanks to Renee, Maya, Tina, and the rest of the girls.


There is some ridiculously sharp stuff going on right here - 2009 Baseball Contest

It took Bennett 2 days to figure out I was only holding that contest so that I could see all those sharps plays. It's true. Anyone else want in? Let me know.


Enjoy.

Today is the 1 year anniversary

.... of this pointless thing I call "The blog." I'd like to say we've had a lot of good times over the past year but we all know that isn't true. There have been a few highlights: My favorite being the blog I did after a hectic day at the airport last June. There have also been a lot of low lights. A lot. Just terrible, terrible writing.

Allow me to give a quick recap of the past year with several key bullet points:

* Jorgen has a purse.

* It's red.

* Jorgen is a man but he has a purse. That's the entire joke. See now that isn't even funny. He carries a purse because he has so much shit to carry with him. Hand cream, books, betting sheets, a picture of Amanda. And he's from the Midwest so he's a little delicate. I get it. It's lame but I get it.

* Jorgen is Swedish.

* He will probably give his kids Swedish names. See now that isn't even funny either. Why wouldn't he and Amanda give their children Swedish names? They ARE Swedish. Very poor work on my part. Sorry, Jorgen.

* Jorgen couldn't pick a boxing winner if he had Biff's book and Butch Coolidge was in the fight.

* I had to look up Butch Coolidge's last name. I go the extra mile for this blog.

* Chris Bennett is smart.

* He is smarter than you are.

* He is the smartest guy in the history of this town.

* I know all this because he personally told me.

* Scott likes to gamble. And drink. And look at naked ladies. And criticize other people's money management when he drastically fluctuates his units and bet amounts based on him having the day off and/or him being at the game in person.

I love Scott.

* It's entirely possible that Matt taught himself how to read and write.

* Jeff reads the blog. A lot.

When he's not watching old highlight reels of the Williams sisters.

* Ed hates the following things:

Everything.

Except Tom Brady.

* I like Ryan Howard, LeBron James, Alex Ovechkin, Carl Edwards, and Maya Moore.

And I love the Washington Redskins.

Sometimes.

Very rarely, actually.

I hate the Redskins.

I don't like anyone else in the sports world.

* I gamble almost every day and am incredibly bad at it and desperately wish that I could stop.

* I hate gambling.

* My Mom is a wonderful woman who loves her children more than anything in the world. Well except the dog.

She is also completely insane.

* Others have tried to blog alongside me. They have all failed. Not going to name names but Andrew Ross, Michael Miller, Christopher Bennett, and Christopher Graham know who they are.

* Sorry, guys.

* It's going to be really hard to bang out another year of this pointless drivel.


Thanks for reading!

There really is no point

.... in subscribing to a sports handicapping service when you can just go to this blog - 2009 Baseball Contest - and see the actual plays of some of the most feared bettors in this city.

Some sharp stuff going on there....

Enjoy.

Have you ever told someone

.... that you have never seen the movie Boondock Saints and then had them hyperventilate while telling you what an incredible movie it is? No? Well I have. It's actually a pretty good movie but it became wildly overrated by people who thought they were the only one(s) who had seen it. People have this tendency to always think that anything obscure they know about is better than it actually is. Not only do I hate people like this, I am also somehow one of them.

I'm always shoving The Wire down everyone's throats and I recently blogged about the movie Bully and mentioned that I thought you guys should watch it. I apologize for nothing. The Wire is the best TV show I have ever seen and the more I see Bully, the more I like it. Speaking of Bully, Matt was saying that his sister lives right near where that whole thing took place and that she read my blog about it. Needless to say, I don't believe him seeing as how it's unlikely that anyone from that area actually knows how to use a computer, but still - It was nice of him to say that.

Anyways, here are some other movies/shows I wanted to recommend to you all. And until you see them I am going to continue to exaggerate how great they all are:

* Boiler Room

If you haven't seen this one.... What have you been doing for the last 5 years? I'm always surprised by how many people have never seen this movie. The first time I saw it my friends told me that it was about a kid who runs a casino out of his apartment and I got really excited. Of course that was complete bullshit, although there are some brief scenes involving the casino. However, outside of Anchorman, I can't think of a movie I enjoy quoting more.

* Cheats

This is a movie about four kids cheating their way through high school I discovered one afternoon a few years while I was laying on my couch and, ironically enough, skipping class. It's got the kid who played Fulton Reed in The Mighty Ducks as an awkward teenager and Matt Lawrence as the tough guy. Also, Martin Starr is in it playing the token nerd all the other guys rip on. This is a great movie not enough people know about. It's also loosely based on the story of how CB got into the University of Illinois.

* Orgazmo

Written and directed by a young Trey Parker, who is probably my biggest comedic hero with the possible exception of Dave Chappelle. Trey also stars as a young Mormon kid on his mission who becomes a porn star. Matt Stone is hilarious, as well. Really funny and unbelievably stupid movie.

* Gremlins 2

When I was five, my favorite movie was The Gremlins.

* Saving Silverman

Co-written by a guy who went to my high school. Anything involving R. Lee Ermey amuses me. Neil Diamond also appears as himself. Too funny.

* Warriors

I hate people who do unfunny variations of the famous "Warriors.... Come out and plaaaaay" line. However, I love this movie.

* Curb Your Enthusiasm

Way too many people still aren't watching this show. Buy the DVDs, borrow them from a friend, set your DVR to record it, ask your wife if you can have HBO back before the new season starts.... Do whatever it takes. It has definitely been my favorite show on TV since the day Chappelle went crazy and his show went off the air.


Sports and gambling talk? If I must....

* I like this M Resort. Not only do they employ upstanding young men like Jorgie and Mikey Millz, they are allowing people to bet that the Cavaliers won't win the NBA Championship at -200. That came in very handy for those of us with tickets on the Cavs at 20-1. At least now when Kobe, Lamar, Pau(l), and the refs combine to sweep them out of the NBA Finals, I'll win something.

* I love what the Broncos did trading Jay Cutler for all those draft picks and Kyle Orton. I know it's hard to believe but football teams usually play 11 guys at a time. The quarterback isn't the only guy on the team. Cutler isn't even that good to begin with. He's one of these guys who is going to throw for 300 yards and a couple touchdowns so the media will hump him and wet themselves over his stats. But he'll lose against good teams because he takes too many chances and turns the ball over way too much. There's already a guy like that in the NFC that people seem to love. Can't think of his name right now....

* I can already tell that I will be fading the Bears this season and will be very high on the Broncos.

* We know that John Calipari is leaving Memphis for Kentucky and it sounds like some of the recruits he paid, er, I mean convinced through fair and ethical means to come to Memphis will be following him to Lexington. What I'd like to know is what will happen to all the people in Memphis that Calipari arranged jobs for with FedEx, etc.... There are a number of friends/relatives of top recruits who coincidentally got jobs working in the Memphis area either as employees of the team or working for FedEx right around the same time their kids started playing ball for the Tigers. What happens to them now that their kids aren't playing for Coach Cal any more?

* I'm sure that Calipari will win a lot of games at Kentucky. I'm also sure that a scandal will erupt at some point either while he's there or soon after he leaves. What I don't understand is how they can justify firing a good basketball coach like Billy Gillespie after giving him only two years to turn the program around. Somebody is going to get a really good coach in Gillespie.

* Speaking of college basketball, ESPN Classic re-aired the 2000 NCAA Championship game between Michigan St and Florida this morning. There were a lot of good players in that game: Cleaves, MoPete, J-Rich, Charlie Bell, Aloysius Anagonye, AJ Granger among others for Michigan State and Florida countered with Mike Miller, Udonis Haslem, Brett Nelson, Teddy Dupay and Donnell Harvey. I'm pretty sure Harvey left after his freshman year and flamed out in the pros. And Dupay might have been the biggest douche in college basketball history. It was fun to watch despite the CBS cameras showing every person Tom Izzo had ever met sitting in the stands at the end of the game and the announcers gushing about how gritty Mateen Cleaves was despite the fact that he was obviously faking his injury. It reminded me of how much I used to love college basketball. Maybe I still do. We'll find out this weekend.

* One thing's for sure: I love women's college basketball. It literally amazes me how they make those three pointers despite bringing the ball up from their hip. Their shooting stroke reminds me of my own when I was like 6 years old and not strong enough to shoot it normally. I can see why all their tournament games are on ESPN and the players get full college scholarships to schools like Stanford and Duke. There's a lot of talent out there.

* Baseball season starts on Sunday night and gets into full swing on Monday. Go A's. For those of you who are interested, here is a link to the blog I started for my Baseball Contest.

This dumb blog has been around for almost a year now. I never would've thought it would still be here a year after I started it. And I never would've believed that I'd be starting a second one.

I'm done.


Enjoy.